Finally I was there. I pulled my legs out of the car and began walking up the walkway. My fingers were numb, both from nerves and from how cold it was. I look down at the snow under me and how my legs just seemed to move subconsciously. Then I was at the door, the big wooden door that I was way too scared to knock on. I took a deep breath and pushed my fingers across the door, hitting it three times.

There was no response at first. I listened to the howling of the wind for a second and decided it was probably best if I just leave. Stepping off the porch, I sunk my feet back into the snow, but heard a clatter from behind me. The door opened up and standing there was someone I was hoping to never really see again, except at maybe at a big gathering. Her long brown hair swooshed by her sides and her smile lit up at my face. "Oh my god, Mags!! I haven't seen you in so long. Come in!" I smiled at her, no teeth, and as warmly as I could. "You must be freezing. We were just sitting by the fireplace." We turned the corner and there was Jake. He stood up immediately. He looked at me and in his eyes there was great surprise, I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad surprised.

"Maggie, what are you doing here?" He sounded like he was faking excitement in a friendly way. Wait, why was I here? Come on, Maggie, think of something believable.

"I.. well.. I came to see Sammy for bit is all." I sounded so stupid and I'm sure he knew that's not why I was here, but Hannah seemed to buy it.

"Oh I think he's upstairs in his room." She said, pulling my coat off of me.

"I'll.. well.. I'll see you guys later, I guess.." I started towards the stairs, looking at Jake as I made my way up them. I turned the corner and knocked on Sam's door.

"Who is it?"

"Uh, Maggie." I said. I heard footsteps and soon Sam was opening the door.

"Maggie?" He questioned, not fully believing I was standing in front of him.

"Heyy.." I said awkwardly. He layed back down onto his bed and I followed him, sitting on the edge.

"So, what's up? I haven't seen you in ages. Did you want something?"

"Oh, no... I just wanted to come and see you. We haven't really hung out in a while."

"Right... well, I was just chilling out. I'm not really doing anything interesting." The bright lights in his room was emphasizing my buzz and I quickly closed my eyes make the room stop spinning. "Are you alright?"

"Mhh? Oh yeah, I'm just fine." I knew I had slurred my words, but I was trying to hide like I would in front of my parents.

"Are you drunk?" Sammy asked, laughing a bit.

"Nooooo!" I said. "Okay, maybe just a little bit." I said, laughing at myself while I gestured with my thumb and index finger the amount I meant.

"Yeah, a little." He said, picking up his arms and stretching them as wide as I could.

"Fine, I'm pretty drunk. I was at Carrie's and she..." I couldn't tell him why I was actually there, shit. "I, well, I decided that it might be fun to see my old friend. It just so happened that we had a bottle of shall we say the goods and we drank a lot of it."

"Nice. Sounds like a fun Saturday night."

"Indeed it is and was." We talked for a while and he told be about all the little shows they were doing, either opening up or headlining. It was fun to talk to him again. "God, I've missed you a lot Sammy.." I said. Before he could say anything else "Will you excuse me for just a second? I kinda need to pee and maybe splash water on my face." He nodded and I walked out of the door, closing it behind me. I made my way to the bathroom, but it was locked. "Fuck." I whispered, pushing my back against the wall so I could slide down and wait on the floor. I sat there for five more minutes and finally the door opened. It was Josh. I smiled, "Hi, Joshy!" I smiled, jesus christ was a drunk.

"Maggie? What're you doing here?" He said.

"I came to see Sam." I nodded my head at what I was saying, trying to convince myself that I was telling the truth. I stood up, stumbling a bit and catching my fall on Josh. "Oops, sorry!" I laughed.

"You alright?" I could hear him smelling me. "Whiskey? Rum?" I nodded.

"It's been a pretty eventful night, if I do say so myself."

"We haven't talked in a while." He said.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that, I just wanted to stay away for a while.." He nodded.

"I just didn't know if I did something wrong, I'm really sorry if I did. I tried going after you, you wouldn't even answer my calls."

"I'm sorry, Josh. You didn't do anything."

"Did you even feel anything with me? Those times that we kissed." I paused looking into his eyes, they looked stressed and pained.

"Oh course I did Josh. I'm sorry, I was just stupid." I put my hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes sinking into the feeling of touching each other. It was quiet and I could hear Sam's little snores from the other room, he must have fallen asleep while waiting for me. Then I could hear Jake and Hannah talking. She giggled and it sounded like she was near the stairs.

"I told you!" She whisper yelled, "I told you she was here to see Josh." Josh's eyes fluttered open and this time they were happy. "Come on, admit it, they would be cute together." I heard no response. "She just said that she felt something between them and he obviously did too." Hannah probably wasn't aware we were in the hallway as she said all of this. "Jake, tell me you couldn't see it." Then he spoke.

"Han, it's none of our business. Besides, she has a boyfriend, you can't say stuff like that." He stopped for a minute. "I just don't see them together that's all." He said. Hannah must have seemed upset because it was followed by "You know I don't see her like that, now come back over here."

I looked at Josh, still alone in the hall together. We stood close enough that I could feel his body heat. My hand was still resting on his cheek. "What'd ya say?" He laughed into his words, then he pressed his lips to mine. They were moving slowly and it felt good. Shit, what was I doing???

He tugged on me to follow him back to his room and I did so. The door closed behind me and Josh's hands started to roam my body, clinging onto the connection I felt. He was doing most of the work and I wasn't saying no to it, but as soon as he tried to take off my bra I stopped him. "Josh, I can't." I whispered, out of breath. "I want to, but I can't. It's just not right."