Cole's warmth radiated off of me when I woke up. I hadn't slept all night. I couldn't stop thinking about Jake body over mine. Cole moved around a bit. "Good morning." He sounded so sweet, so understanding. I'm not quite sure why I did what I did next.

Tears began to form. Jesus what is going on with me lately? I'm just one big tear factory. "Are you okay?" Cole asked, he looked concerned.

"No.. I made a mistake." I said, my words blubbering with sadness.

"Hey, it's okay, whatever it is you can tell me." He said, moving over to envelope me in a hug. I was stiff in his arms.

"I'm so sorry." He became stiff around me, just then realizing what I was apologizing for was something I had done to him.

"What happened?"

"I.. well.. you know Jake. You met him last night actually!" He didn't look happy, completely removing his touch from mine. The next thing I remember was him yelling at me. Yelling loud.

"Please! I'm so sorry! It was just a big mistake."

"You don't sleep with people accidentally, you weren't even drunk last night."

"I know, I don't know what happened to me. I just.. I hadn't seen him in so long and I started to get all of these feelings. Please, Cole. I love you." I begged him to forgive me.

"You know, I thought that I loved you. I don't think I can love someone who would do this." He said his voice cold. "I think you need to leave."

"Cole ple-"

"LEAVE!" He yelled. I'd never heard him yell like that. My face was ugly crying, tears streaming everywhere. "Just get your stuff and go." I got out of the bed, feeling cold on my legs. I searched for my clothes, slipping on my jeans and boots with my sweatshirt.

Before I left the room, I said "I'm really, really sorry.." I was met with silence and then I closed the door. Why had I done that? God I'm so stupid.

The car ride was uneventful, just me listening to really sad songs and crying. Once I got home, I didn't think to say hi to my parents. I just went to my room, realizing how horrible I was. My phone buzzed on my nightstand. It was a text from Carrie. "We still on for tonight? I bought cookie dough." I sighed at the text, responding quickly.

"Yes. 100% yes. We're gonna need way more than cookie dough for tonight though." I got a text back, only a few minutes later.

"Got it. See you at my house 6ish?" I responded yes to her and went to take a shower. I put on a pair of old, baggy FHS sweatpants that were Jamie's and a big flannel that was Cole's. Then I got in my car, leaving for her house.

I rang the doorbell and quickly got a response. Carrie's mom had opened up the door. "Hi sweetie, Care's upstairs. I gave her a little something for you guys tonight, just don't let Mr. Kip know." She said referring to her husband.

"Alright, thanks Cindy!" I said running up the stairs. I knocked on Carrie's door, but immediately walked in. "Hey."

"Finally, you're here!! Let's start this shindig." She said pulling out Prozac Nation, a movie we both found weirdly comforting. Then two huge things of cookie dough and to top it all off her mom had given her their Wild Turkey from downstairs that they were throwing away. Drinking, eating, and watching the movie, I felt myself sinking lower into a weird depression. She paused the movie. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." I responded, my eyes felt sad.

"Don't give me that shit. You've been mopey ever since you got here." She said. "Come on, tell me!!"

"Cole and I broke up." I whispered, almost inaudibly. I thought that maybe she wouldn't even hear me and ignore it.

"WHAT THE FUCK??" She yelled. "How? Why? When? Are you okay? Come here." She spoke fast, finally pulling me into her arms. We were both obviously tispy and were showing more affection than two best friends normally would.

"Well... I fucked up and did some things, but I couldn't lie to him." I ended up telling her the whole story at the night went on.

"I'm so sorry Mags." She said once I finished the story.

"I just miss him, that feeling of support and safety he gave me. I loved it." She looked at me carefully as I spoke.

"Do you hear yourself? You liked his support and safety, you didn't like him. Or love moreover. You just weren't meant to be. Where's Kiszka?"

"I think he's in town. They're here for a Thanksgiving-y break." She gasped.

"You have to go to him!" She said, grinning from ear to ear.

"It's not that simple Care. He has a girlfriend and he thinks I have a boyfriend. He made it clear that he couldn't leave Hannah." I thought back to the conversations we'd had many times. It was my fault.

"I don't care. Get out of my house. You can come back when you've told him in person what happened between you and Cole." I rolled my eyes, laying back down, but she started pushing me out of her room, then down the stairs, and finally out the front door. "MIKEY! MAGGIE NEEDS A RIDE SOMEWHERE!" She yelled to her older brother. He came walking down the stairs slowly, he was totally baked and I hoped he would be able to drive safely. We got in his shitty car.

"Where we headed princess?" He asked.

"Can you go to the Kiszka's?"

"That's out of town a little right?"

"Yeah, I can guide you when we get farther out." I gave him a supportive grin.

— Author's Note —

Hey guys! I hope you're liking the story. This is a short chapter because I'm under a lot of stress right now, but I can't stop thinking about the story. As always, I love hearing your thoughts. Love youssss!!! ❤️❤️