"Why not?" He asked, his eyes watering the faintest bit.

"Josh." I pulled his body towards mine, wrapping my arms around his still frame. He didn't move at first, not accepting my affection. "Please Josh." My voice whimpered for him to hug me back. He sighed, lifting his arms a bit and setting his head on top of mine. "You need to understand, Josh. I have a boyfriend.." Why was I lying to him? It was Josh for crying out loud, it was Josh and I loved Josh and I could trust him. I just... couldn't tell him. "He's too good to me." I heard a sniffle from him. I pulled away, putting my hands on his cheeks, wiping away a tear. "Hey now. You know I love you. This is so hard for me to do, Joshy." He nodded, trying to pretend he wasn't crying.

"I know, I know. I want you though and I want you to want me. I miss what we used to be." I looked up at him, my eyes seemed to be dragging down though.

"We can have what we used to have, but it has to be before that night, before the party. For now, I need you back as my friend." I couldn't believe myself, I was being so selfish and I was never one to be like that.

"Mags.. I don't.. I'm just not sure that'll be achieved right away." Now it was my turn to cry. Tears started to stream down my cheeks. "Maggie, please don't cry." I shook my head at him.

"I should just go." I choked almost yelling out.

"No, it's freezing and you can't drive. Stay in Ronnie's room, she doesn't get back from Hawaii until next week, before Thanksgiving." He was still thinking of me, even when he should have been hating me. I loved that about him.

"No, I'll call a cab or an Uber or something. I don't think staying here would be good for either of us, I don't know what I'd do." I thought about what would happen if I did stay. It would end two ways and that was for sure. The first was that I wouldn't sleep in Ronnie's room, but Josh's and then I would do the things I was denying myself. The second would be Jake sneaking into Ronnie's room with everyone else in the house. I didn't want to risk either of those.

"We'll get mom to drive you then." He smiled at me, one meek smile. I nodded back, my eyes pained. We walked down the stairs together, then towards the door. Jake and Hannah were sitting on the floor talking.

"Where are you guys going?" Jake asked.

"I was gonna see if mom wanted to take her home." Josh responded shrugging his shoulders.

"I think your mom went to sleep already, your dad too." Hannah said, I looked to the floor and inaudibly whispered a 'fuck'.

"It's okay, I'll just drive you." Josh said, trying to comfort me.

"Hey, I got you. I was just about to take Hannah home too." Jake smiled to me.

"I-uh.." I stuttered, but couldn't think of anything to say.

"Is that okay with you Mags?" Josh asked. I knew I could speak, but my voice wouldn't allow it. I nodded my head, this time too fast.

"Alright let's go, I have some stuff to deal with at home." Hannah voiced. I hugged Josh, tighter than I had ever hugged Josh.

"You know I love you.." I whispered in his ear. I pulled away and let him kiss my forehead. Then we walked out to the car.

The car was silent. Music played lightly in the background, but it wasn't anything special. Take Me Home Country Roads came on, under normal circumstances I would love the song. Unfortunately, this past year it has become ever so popular. It's the only song people know John Denver for. As if on cue, Hannah yelled "I love this song!" The mood of the car changed. I looked out the windows at the cars passing by, then to Hannah and Jake in the front. Hannah slid her hand over the console to rest on Jake's thigh. I sighed quietly and looked forward to the road. Moving into a trance, I found myself staring at my own reflection in the rearview mirror. I looked at my face. Had I gotten fat? I think I might have. I looked at my hair. Maybe I should change it? I kind of feel like changing it. Then I found myself falling to Jake. He tucked his hair behind his ear every couple of minutes. His eyes focused on the road, but for a brief moment I caught his eye. His vision on me felt nice, he softly smiled to me and I smiled back.

Soon, we pulled up to Hannah's house. She kissed him hard and that hurt my insides. She looked back to me. "I'll see you later, Maggie." I smiled at her.

"Yeah, see ya Han." She left the passenger door open for me and I stepped out in the snow, just to hop back in next to Jake. I left my seatbelt unbuckled and Jake flipped through his phone to find different music. A Case of You came on and I smiled at the night sky. The stars looked so pretty and all I wanted was to be closer to them. I rolled down the window so my skin could touch the cold air. Closing my eyes, I stuck my head out the window and Jake turned the music up louder.

"Mags.. Maggie." Jake said, pulling me away from the depths of my imagination. I sat back in the seat and rolled up the window.

"Yeah, sorry. What's up?"

"I just wanted to know why you came by the house?" I thought of the truth, but I also thought of how rude he sounded.

"I told you, I came to see Sammy."

"I don't believe you." He said sternly. I bit my lip at his voice.

"Well you should." I smiled.

"Come on, Mags. Please just tell me."

"Fine, jeez. I was at Carrie's house, you know the one- well she's sort of- I don't know, she's got medium brown hair and she's an average height." He shook his head, still not knowing. "Anyway, we were drinking and she told me I had to go see you."

"Why go see me?"

"I sort of told her what happened. I hope you don't mind, I just needed to vent." We were in front of my house. "Wait Jake, I need to go to her house, not mine."

"Where does she live?" I thought for a second.

"Uhh, South side maybe?" He scoffed. "I'm sorry, she normally comes to my house or it's dark when I go to her house. He left the car parked in front of my house and turned to me.

"So you told her everything then." He wasn't asking, he was confirming what had happening in his head.

"Jake, tell me what you're thinking." I studied his face.

"I don't know what to think. I don't know if I'm mad or just disappointed I can't tell anyone. This Carrie girl, she can't tell anyone." I watched him at he kept wiping his hands on his pants, repeatedly. I moved my hand over as Hannah once had and rested it on top of Jake's hand.

"Jake, please take a deep breath." He did as I said. "I didn't mean to tell her, but... Cole sort of, well he broke up with me." I felt watery eyes coming on. "I told him that I couldn't see him anymore and told him about you. He threw me out." Jake sat with his mouth open.

—Author's Note—

Hey lovers!! Hope you like this chapter. This week has been so stressful, but I finally got my college applications in. Anywho, I'm going to see the boys in a couple of days. Let me know if you've seen them and how you liked it or if you're seeing them at Terminal 5!!