So, you got through wedding planning without killing each other, said your vows at the ceremony, and survived each other's families at the reception.

It's time for the good part...THE HONEYMOON!

-"STILL too young for this scenario"

-"What a bummer, this is where it starts to get good"

-"What do you mean?"

-(Gon raises his eyebrows) "Awooga!"

-"Oh...yeah...that"

-"Yup, that. A whole week of that, nonstop"

-(Killua suddenly looks nauseated)

-"What's wrong? That's what honeymoons are for, dude"

-"Dude. I don't want to think of my BROTHER doing that..." (makes puking noise)

-You're half-dead from wedding stress so you let him deal with passports, customs, the rideshare, hauling around the luggage, and checking in to the hotel

-When finally in your room, you flop ecstatically on the bed. "Hooray! We're finally here!"

-You give him your most seductive look. "You know what that means..."

-He is busy flipping through a guidebook. "I sure do! I called up the concierge and got us on the rainforest hike at 2 p.m., kayaking at 3, scuba diving at 4, exploring ancient ruins at 5...oh yeah...I scored us reservations at that new restaurant nobody can get into at 7..."

-He looks up. "Why are you lying around? Get up and put your Tevas on. We got things to do"

-You sigh

-When you arrive at your honeymoon hotel, you lie in bed and gleefully count all the cash you received from friends and relatives

-"We're rich, rich, rich," you both sing, throwing the money all over the bed

-"We should have done this last year when we were really strapped for cash"

-"Dude. That's not why you get married, silly"

-"Well. It kind of is"

-You put on the most porno piece of lingerie that you received at your bridal shower, and waltz out into the bedroom. "Ta-DAH!"

-He looks you up and down, then puts his hands behind his head. "Hey, look, I might as well get this off my chest right now. You know that friend of yours? The hot bridesmaid with the big knockers? Well...at the rehearsal dinner, things kind of got out of control..."

-"What are we doing first this afternoon?"

-"Scuba diving, I think"

-He touches his head thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to cut my hair. It's just going to get in the way of all these activities we have planned, and get all tangled and shit."

-(Picks up the hotel phone) "Hi, can I have the spa please? Yes. Thanks. Can I book a haircut at 2 p.m.?" He looks at you. "Want me to book you a massage while I've got them on the line?"

-You don't talk to him the entire week

-Scoops you up dramatically and carries you bridal-style into your hotel room

-Woo! You consummate that marriage, and then some!

-As you are congratulating yourself on making an extremely sage choice in husbands, he suddenly gets a businesslike tone to his voice

-"About this name changing thing. Look, I'm telling you, I'm not cool with you keeping your maiden name. I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy, babe, and that's gonna make me look like I'm pussy-whipped. I'm giving you a week to change your mind about this"

-Is so relieved the wedding is over that he passes out instantly the minute you get to your hotel room and refuses to wake up

-After the third day of this, you flirt with one of the pool servers and ask him, surreptitiously, "Do you know where I can score, like, some speed or something around here, locally? My damn husband won't wake up, for crying out loud"

-You're in Vegas! Shit baby. Go to town

-You end up breaking even. Well, okay...maybe you're down about a hundred bucks.

-Not too bad of a start to your new life together