《》Planning The Wedding

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Getting married is supposed to be a joyous occasion.

But...

Now that he's asked you to tie the knot, let's move on to the next stage...

What the two of you will argue about regarding wedding planning!

-"Still too young for this scenario"

-"We can eavesdrop on it, though"

-"There's no way my brother is going to cut his hair, her mom is going to have a cow over that"

-"YOUR mom is going to have a cow over the whole thing. She's a control freak"

-"Word up"

-"Think she'll take her visor off for the ceremony?"

-"Dunno. That would be kind of uncool. It's supposed to be the bride's big day"

-"Oh, she's definitely taking it off"

-You're a bit ashamed to admit it, but you're secretly pleased you have no overbearing mother-in-law to deal with who will bombard you with her (ugly) bridal gown suggestions and emails stating things like, "I was looking at the Martha Stewart magazine and it says purple is THE color this year so I'm sending you some swatches to consider for tablecloth choices...."

-Anyway. What you do fight about is what date you will have the blessed event

-He's got his whole damn calendar filled up with work stuff and refuses to budge on anything. "No, not that day. That's important. What? Not THAT day either, that whole weekend is a bitch for me...are you kidding me? THAT day?"

-You argue over whether a cash bar is tacky or not

-"I'm not having my family pay for drinks, are you crazy?"

-"Oh come on, we can even upcharge a bit and make a little spare change for the honeymoon"

-First of all, he wants to wear something ridiculous, like a hot pink tuxedo

-You tell him he's going to look back at the wedding pictures in 20 years and cringe. He just laughs at you

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-He then insists that he gets a "hall pass" the week before the wedding.

-"Come on, ball and chain. I'm going to be doing the nasty with only you for the rest of my godforsaken life... throw me a bone"

-"My mom really wants you to cut your hair, okay? Just for pictures"

-"No"

-"Speaking of mothers, yours is driving me nuts. She's emailing me every day with everything from seating arrangements at the reception to...fuck if I remember. Why can't I sit Hisoka next to your little brother again? She's all up in arms about that."

-"Your mother is driving me crazy too, so save it"

-"Mine isn't a control freak like yours. And you need to see the mother-of-the-groom dress she's chosen. We're going to look like the fucking Addams Family in the photos."

-He has this brilliant idea that the two of you should get married on top of a skyscraper with a full symphony orchestra playing

-"No. That's too over-the-top"

-"What are you talking about. That's like saying 'too rich' or 'too thin'"

-He's also mad that you won't take his last name, because although he knows you're a good Catholic girl who doesn't want to freak her family out, he's still mildly misogynistic

-Has stage fright and doesn't want to have a wedding-wedding at all

-Wants to do something very private, just the two of you, maybe a few family members present

-"But I want to wear the BIG WHITE DRE-E-E-SSSSSS...." you whine

-He tells you that you are on the verge of driving him to the loony bin with all these dumb-ass wedding demands, and goes and locks himself in his room with his Trevor Brown books

-"I told you! Vegas is always the answer!"

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