• • •

I was running. Through a dark forest. I didn't know how I came here, or when I came here; but all I knew was, I had to get away from here, far far away.

Tear stains had long ago painted across my smeared dirty face. There was a faint ache washing through my body and through my feet; almost numbing me with each movement I made. Blinking down for a split moment; the distant moonlight reflected across my flesh.

Dark maroon bathed my once pale skin. Scars and cuts decorated the entire flesh and yet despite it all. I ran feeling blood ooze out.

I had to get away from here

A metallic like taste splurged down my throat. My heart now erratic and my lungs almost on fire. Looking ahead at the sea of trees, there was a pathway and the distant sound of water rushing.

Looking over my shoulder, the loud sounds of boots running behind me left my body almost paralysed. Staring ahead, I pushed my legs a little harder coming nearer and nearer towards the spring of water.

When I no longer had the will to run or fight, my legs immediately came to a stop and in a flash of a moment I fell to my knees. My head in a kneeling position, and a cold shiver crawling down my body.

This was it

I knew they were behind me. Vaguely I could hear their yells yet there was no will within to carry me on.

" You've come a far way"

A voice spoke making me tense. There was a haunting chill in the air, as if it carried the secrets of the dead; which would forevermore be sealed. Never to be revealed to the world.

Glancing upwards my eyes widened, in both surprise followed by a relief seeing the man in front of me. The pain that once weighed across my body washed across the wind, and maybe I too was like the dead. Carrying secrets I dared not to reveal.

" Moustafa"

I murmured scrambling to my feet seeing the man walk towards me. His figure towering over my kneeling one. Smiling lightly, the faint crease overshadowed his small beard.

" You look tired. Here have some water"

Moustafa spoke as he reached behind him and now held a white bowl in his hand. Staring confused at the man, he inched forward handing it towards me. There was a certain look on his face, although I knew he was the man I married. I somehow didn't recognise him.

My shaky hands reached forward holding on to the bowl seeing clear blue water. Too overwhelmed I held the bowl in my hands and greedily drank it, whilst feeling some of it trail down my face and on to my neck.

They say a man is home when he tastes the first bite of warm food. When the scars from the battles are decorated on his skin and when the cries have ceased away. That's when the longing of home reflects on you; making you crave it. And like a madman you run towards it, not caring the least what may come your way. In that moment that's how I felt.

The soothing taste of water suddenly turned metallic as I felt my throat constructing. Moving the bowl from my lips, my eyes widened in horror seeing the colour of scarlet now reflect back from the once light blue water.

Blood

" What have you done?"

I cried out towards the man seeing the moonlight flash across his face. A dark sardonic smile came across his features making me stagger backwards, the bowl falling on to the floor with a thud.

" We all have to pay for our sins Fairy"

He spoke in a deadpan tone as I felt tears blur my vision, my head spinning all of a sudden. It seemed as though the world was swallowing me in and I was falling helplessly.

A shriek made it's way out of my mouth as I felt the world spinning.

The once silhouette of Moustafa large figure standing near the spring now morphed in darkness. Bile raised at the back of my throat as I felt something heavy on me.

Gasping for air, I prayed to anything and everything for mercy whilst trying to gain consciousness. Trying to come back to the real world.

It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare.

Blinking rapidly, I tried opening my eyes. Feeling suffocated; almost as if my airwaves were being held tightly, preventing me from catching a breath of life.

" Rise and shine fairy"

A voice came through the darkness. Trying to open my eyes, a tunnel of light made its way through the darkness and the further I stared at it. The more it became clearer.

Blinking, rapidly my chest heaved whilst I tried catching a breath. Trying to stop my head from spinning. The sudden urge to throw up overwhelmed me yet I didn't have the strength within it carry that act.

The first site I was greeted to was the sound of fire cracking and stack of woods placed near a large fire stove.

The swirling of flames and burning of ember reflected in my eyes. Almost lulling me back to sleep.

" .. And it was said be it and it is!

Kun faya kun"

A voice came through the empty room as I felt my head heavy and the world spinning around me. My throat constructed, almost as if it was being squeezed against tightly. Almost as if the angel of death was here and it was my time to go, yet I was being held back, by something.

Looking upwards through my hazy gaze I felt bile rise at the back of my throat seeing the figure stand before me. The sight of dark blue and green eyes stared back at me. Dark blonde hair easily fell against the mans face as he looked down on me. As if I was a peasant.

Glancing from this angle, you could easily say the man before me was handsome. Sharp jawline and a small scar across his eyebrow made him stand out more than the rest of the people. The denim jacket he wore hung against his built form making me miss the feeling of warmth.

Connor

Just the sound of his name sent chills down my spine. How long had I prayed for this day, for the moment to come when I'd be face to face with the man. Yet as he now stood before me, there was no ounce of strength within to fight back.

" How I've missed looking into your eyes"

The man commented, as he rounded towards me allowing me to follow his movements. Pulling a stool in front of him. The man took a seat now face to face.

It took me a moment for the realisation to hit and it sure did hit me like a boulder.

" What am I doing here?"

I croaked out, unable to recognise my own words seeing a sudden smile fall across Connor's face as he leaned forward. His hand reaching easily towards my face causing me to back away abruptly. The sudden act leaving me in fits of pain.

" Three years and this is the first thing you say"

The man commented, almost as if he was hurt making me look towards him. Unable to believe my ears.

Looking around the room all of a sudden, my gaze travelled towards the exotic rugs on the floor, covering the ground with dark maroon against the stone flooring.

There was a long line of a bench tucked against the wall. Decorated with red fabric and matching pillows. The aromatic smell of freshly brewed tea reached my nose causing me to look upwards seeing Connor's eyes trained on me. Behind him the Arabic words were written, making me stare at it longer than I should.

Be and it is

" You've changed Farya. You're more beautiful than I remember" He spoke almost to himself yet I had heard it. The message loud and clear to my numb ears. Heat came across my body, not of those of embarrassment but of anger, of utter resentment.

" You're delusional"

I muttered under my breath seeing him raise an eyebrow before he shook his head and leaned back a little.

" No more than you Fairy! Tell me, how does it feel to sleep with a killer?"

He commented and I remained utterly lost for the longest of times till it dawned on me, about whom he was referring to and just like a wave the nightmare flashed before me making me visibly shudder.

" What are you talking about"

I spoke slowly seeing the man shake his head as he inhaled sharply and ran a hand through his hair. A low groan escaping his lips.

" Why surely, I'm talking about your husband. The great Aydin" He drawled out, the resentment clear in his words as he looked down on me.

" Isn't it rich that you're talking about murder"

I muttered seeing his face turn red, anger taking over him as the man slowly turned his head in a circular motion before he closed his eyes and gave me a tight smile.

" You're still the naive Farya I know. When will you learn?"

He spoke as I heard the sounds of the door rattling and the next thing I know. A large figure stepped inside. The world around me stilled, almost as if it had been shelled as my gaze widened in horror seeing the man before me.

" Emre"

I whispered out, at loss for words seeing him smile at me. His face cold as he took easy steps forward, now standing before me.

" Hello Farya. How have you been holding up?" He spoke standing beside Connor as the two men stared at me in amusement whilst I felt the heavy weight of reality fall on me.

This can't be happening. This must be a joke.

" You've got to be kidding me. Emre and y-you. Connor?" I whispered flabbergasted seeing the man chuckle whilst Emre stood. His towering figure heightening over my smaller one.

" You're pretty smart. You could have made a good wife"

" Too bad I'm not your wife"

I spat hateful as the next thing I know Emre's raging face was before me and his large hand connecting against my cheeks. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Connor's jaw clenched tightly whilst my eyes remained on Emre, too overwhelmed by what happened. A low cry ripped from my mouth hearing the familiar voice speak.

" Emre dont-"

" Shut the fuck up Daniel's. This bitch is lucky I haven't done worse for the embarrassment she caused me"

Emre yelled loudly. His large hand suddenly gripped against my hair and pulled me forward making me hiss in pain.

" Moustafa-"

" Is going to think I fucked you and then he'll leave you on the streets where you belong, once I'm done with you"

Emre spoke, his vulgar words reaching my ears making bile rise at the back of my throat. Staring horrified at the man, he gave me a dark smile as he inched forward. Holding on to my jaw tightly.

" You're a sick man. Let me go"

" Now why would I do that, hmm?

Emre spoke causing Connor to stand up and move the man away. Releasing the hold he had on my hair and jaw, I felt my breathing labouring and large tears stinging my eyes. Unable to believe his cruelty.

" You don't fucking touch me. I owe you. I gave you big bucks" Emre yelled at Connor who gave the man a deadpan look yet remained silent.

If its one thing I knew about Connor was, when he is silent. He is his most dangerous.

" Oh fuck! Of course. You're still in love with her aren't you"

Emre laughed mockingly causing Connor's face to pale, mirroring mine. It took another moment of Emre's harsh words to utter till reality dawned on me. Those words ringing again and again in my ears.

" Farya do you know why your brother and Connor fell out hmm?"

The man asked causing Connor to glare at him, yet he wasn't fazed as Emre now took a step towards me. Instinctively I moved backwards seeing a dark look to flash across his face.

" Connor was in love with you and your brother disapproved"

Emre chuckled clapping his hands like a jester whilst my gaze remained transfixed on Connor seeing the man look at me for a split moment before he stalked out of the room. Slamming the door behind him.

Hundreds of thoughts rushed through my head. The ability think straight long gone as traitorous tears made its way down my face and the sound of my broken words reaching my ears.

" I-Is that why he killed him ?" I rasped out seeing the man shake his head as he looked at me thoughtfully.

" That's where you're wrong. He wasn't the one to kill him. In fact if you haven't clocked it yet. Your brother didn't overdose"

Emre spoke as I felt the breath within me being knocked out. My heart now dropping to my stomach.

They say, there will always come a point in life when all seems lost. When the world turns at you with no answer whilst you scream for justice. When all doors are closed and the only companion you have is your sorrow.

When that day comes, a single star will appear through a cloudy night, and that star will guide you home. At least, that's what Nourie had once said to me.

I desperately wanted that star to appear. To help me through the darkness.

I didn't always consider myself to be a unhappy person, I tried, God I tried to smile through everything that came yet when the day fades and the night beckons. I lose the will to smile against my demons, against my fears

And in that moment, all I wanted was to scream, to yell as loudly as I could, for anything- or anyone to hear me.

I wanted to scream so loud that the barrier between the earth are shattered and the skies above hears my sorrows. I wanted someone to hear me, anyone yet I didn't. I remained utterly silent as I glanced ahead at the man feeling large tears run down my face.

Somehow, I always knew Roshan wouldn't do it. He wouldn't kill himself yet hearing the words come from someone else's mouth felt like a sharp stab to my wounds.

" T-Then who did?"

I murmured as Emre reached towards his pocket and pulled out a cigar. Lightening it up he dragged a large breath before his exhaled the smoke near my face making me move away. Feeling sick all of a sudden.

" That I can't say"

" Then what can you tell me?"

I spoke as the man nodded before he glanced down at his wristwatch and then back at me.

" Emre please. Why keep me here"

I cried out reaching forward towards the man seeing him glare at me, causing my movements to stop halfway.

" I don't intend on keeping you here, there's no fun in that. I'm going to send you back to those people. I'll let them deal with you"

" What?"

I cried out, my throat drying and my heart beating erratically seeing the man stand up and walk towards the door.

" Emre please-" I sobbed slowly, an unknown clenching fear overwhelming me seeing the man glance over his shoulder.

" Do you know why the Aydins hate the Khizans? Well let me tell you" He spoke as he took a drag from his cigarette and flickered it towards the fire making it burn up immediately.

" It was all because of two men, a woman and honour killing"

Emre spoke as he opened the door and signalled for someone and the next thing I knew, two large men dressed in black stormed inside the room. Walking towards me at a fast pace I remained almost numb seeing one of them pull me upwards and over their shoulder making me scream loudly, my fists slamming against the strangers back.

" Let me go. Let me go you barbarian" I screeched seeing the world upside down but I figured we were in a small hut, as he walked outside and quickly reached towards the parked car door, and flung me inside the SUV making me cry out. The sounds of my bones hitting the edge of the car reaching my ears.

" Come on let's go"

Yelled voices whilst the world around me spun. Sitting upwards in the car, the slamming of the door reached my ears followed by the engine turning on.

The next thing I knew, the car had already started and now halfway down an abandoned road.

Looking towards the front, I realised Connor was driving whilst Emre sat beside him. In attempts to escape I reached towards the cars door seeing them locked hearing Emre laugh loudly.

" Why are women so stupid"

He chucked as Connor continued driving and now towards a small hill. Silence greeted us as I felt large tears rush down my face. My throat clogging up.

" Let's see how much your Moustafa cares for you" Emre spoke as the car came to a stop making me stare horrified at the man. Stepping out of the car, the door towards my end opened and the men from earlier pulled me out of the car. Their large hands holding tightly on to mine making me resist.

Emre who once sat in the car now walked towards me. A dark smile on his lips. A chill suddenly crept down my body seeing the man pull out a small knife as he ran it across his lips lightly before smirking at me.

" Emre- no please! What are you doing? Connor! Connor"

I screamed towards the man sitting inside the car whose eyes were closed as Emre now stood in front of me.

" Now be a good girl and stay"

He spoke as the knife ripped against the side of my shoulders, ripping the fabric out. Leaving me exposed.

" Emre stop! No" I yelled feeling his hand connect against my cheeks before he turned me around, the cold metal slashed against the fabric covering my back making me cry loudly. My sobs echoing across abandoned hills.

" May Allah's curse be upon you Emre"

I whispered through tears feeling exposed all of a sudden as the man smiled tightly and the next thing I know his hand had connected against my face again, and this time I felt blood oozing out of my lips causing the man to smile in satisfaction.

" He's already cursed me"

The man spoke as the sounds of cars reached my ears. Looking ahead of me, I felt my stomach dropping seeing the familiar black car approaching followed by six others as men dressed in black stepped out and the familiar faces of Kenan, Murat and Adam flash before me.

The two men who once held me released their grips as Emre now held on to my hand making large tears roll down my face. Feelings exposed.

This is what he wanted. This is worse than death.

" Emre don't do this" I cried seeing Emre smirk as I now looked ahead seeing that one person who had haunted my dreams.

Moustafa stood proudly against the men, his face utterly emotionless as he glared towards Emre who in return smiled at him in triumph.

Pulling against my hand, he pulled me forward as we got closer and closer towards where Moustafa was, and each second that went by. I wanted the world to open up and swallow me in from the looks I received from the men.

" You see Farya that's the problem with our society. They don't ask the women's verdict. They believe what they see. I didn't need to touch you, all I did was tear parts of your clothes and look at their faces. They think of you as a whore"

He spoke quietly as my blurry gaze stared at the men, seeing them avert their gaze. Looking towards Kenan and to Murat. The two men avoided my eyes making me then look at Adam who looked straight in to my eyes, and then finally at Moustafa.

" Here she is. Your wife. Your honour "

Emre spoke as he gave me a hard shove and I found myself staggering forward causing Kenan to reach towards me.