I step out of the car, streching my arms before entering Julia's house again. We are all sleeping there tonight and I'm lucky enough to share my bed with Billie. I don't know if Julia knows that we have a thing right now. She does know the way I work and can usually see if I like someone, just like I saw that she liked Kevin.

''Do y'all wanna watch a movie?'' Kevin asks and we nod because we don't really have anything else to do. I lay down on the couch, checking my phone in case I get a message from the hospital, or something. They gave me a number to someone who will text or call if something happens there. I really want to cuddle with Billie while watching the movie, but I don't want the others to know about us just yet and I don't want Travis to feel alone so I simply lean against his shoulder when he sits down by my side.

The movie is pretty boring, so I lean back into the couch, closing my eyes.

Do I deserve to feel okay now? I've killed my whole family and I'm hanging out with my friends, having fun. I don't deserve this, why am I doing this? I am guilty. Guilt is all I'm made of. Everything that's going on in my head is enough to make me feel a bit lightheaded and I can feel how my heart beats faster. I try to calm down by taking deep breaths, but it doesn't seem to work. Standing up, I walk up the stairs without saying anything to the others.

The balcony door is open, so I walk out and sit down in one of the white wooden chairs before pulling out a cigarette pack from my pocket. I use my index finger and thumb to pull out one, placing it between my lips. After almost dropping the lighter from shaking too much I manage to light it. I calm down almost immediately after blowing out the gray, mysterious smoke. Suddenly, I hear footsteps and I realise that someone is coming. I throw my cigarette on the ground, stamping on it, before going into the bedroom again.

Billie walks in through when I'm laying on the bed, acting as if I never was on the balcony.

''Hey, babe'', she says, approaching me and grabbing my head, pulling me into a kiss before I even get to think. Fuck. When she pulls away, she looks at me in a weird, unidentifiable way.

''Did you smoke?'' She asks, standing right in front of me while I'm sitting on the edge of the bed.

''No, why-?'' I start.

''Em! Are you stupid? You can't fucking smoke to solve your problems, you're sixteen!'' She says with a raised voice, furrowing her eyebrows.

''How do you know? Just because you have a family that fucking loves you! I don't have anyone left, Billie! I'm on my own and I don't care about myself anymore, can't you see that?'' I suddenly snap back, my voice cracking a bit. The confession makes Billie soften up a bit and she grabs my hand, playing with my fingers while biting her bottom lip.

''I'm sorry'', she sighs. ''I shouldn't have said that. I just don't want you to get hurt, okay? I do care about you and I need you to understand that. Talk to me instead of doing that shit, alright?'' she says softly.

''I'll try'', I mumble, not even believing myself. She sighs and pulls us both down on the bed, her laying on her side while I'm on my back. She puts her arm around my stomach, pulling up my T-shirt a bit, drawing small patterns on my skin.

''How are you feeling?'' She asks.

''I'm fine. It's just weird'', I sigh, feeling like a burden.

''I know, you're unlucky for going through this, man'', she says with a sigh. ''I know that this sounds cheesy, but I will always be here for you, by your side.''

Her comment makes me smile and I lean in so our faces are only inches apart before placing my lips against hers. Something about kissing her just solves all my problems and I feel like nothing else matters, except us. The kiss is innocent at first, but after a while it heats up. I sit up and Billie straddles my lap, holding my face in her hands before kissing me again. I put my hands on her hips and our lips move in sync as if they are made for each other. When she pulls away, she puts a hand on my chest and pushes me so I'm laying down before placing a kiss on my jaw. Suddenly, I feel how she kisses all over my neck, making me gasp from the warm, new feeling. She manages to find the sweet spot a few inches under my ear and she sucks lightly on it, making my moan quietly. After licking a strip from my neck up to my jaw, she places one last peck on my lips. We both are panting when she lays down again, pulling me with her into her embrace.

''You're so cute'', she whispers.

''Shut up.''

''You are!''

''Why didn't you watch the movie with the others?'' I suddenly ask, looking up at her.

''Because I'd rather spend time with you'', she simply answers before picking up her phone, probably checking her snapchat or something. I haven't checked my social medias for a while because of everything that has been going on, so I pick up my phone as well and open up instagram. I gasp when I see that I have a lot of new followers.

''What the fuck is this?'' I ask Billie, showing her the screen.

''Oh, that's probably because I uploaded that picture on my snap story'' she answers.

''How the fuck could they find me on instagram?'' I ask with a chuckle.

''I don't know man, those fans should start working for the FBI or something, they can find anyone'', she giggles. I look at some of my new followers and I see that Billie is one of them. Shit, I don't even follow her back, I didn't know that she was following me.

''Since when did you follow me?'' I ask.

''Since you told me your snap name.''

''But how-''

''I just typed in your snapchat name on instagram, and there you were. No science, really.''

''Still smarter than me'', I mumble before following her back, making her giggle.

''I want to sleep now, Billie'', I yawn.

''Alright, sleep thight, baby'', she says with a baby voice before pecking my lips. I bury my face into the crook of her neck and inhale her scent, closing my eyes. Eventually, I manage to fall asleep and I unfortunately think it's because of the smoking.