I'm so jealous. I'm jealous of people who have a perfect life, people that don't have to feel like shit all the time. At the same time as I really want to be perfect, I don't think that you will be happy if you are perfect. You must feel bad sometimes to know what being happy feels like. If you're always happy, you will take that for granted and not be thankful and that's my nightmare. People always forget to appreciate what they have and complain over small things. There are literally people who are really happy overall and one day they get a pimple or whatever, and they're like "OH MY GOD I HAVE A PIMPLE ON MY FACE WHAT SHOULD I DO MY LIFE IS OVER" and it's so weird. They should be happy that they won't go through shit like I and many other people do.

I close my notebook and walk down the stairs to meet up with the others to talk about what's gonna happen today.

''Hey'', Julia says softly, looking up at me when I enter the kitchen.

''Yo'', I greet before sitting down in a chair next to her.

''Where are the others?'' I ask her after discovering that the kitchen is totally empty.

''Kevin and Travis went to school and Billie is at some local, preparing for her performance. I'ma go to school soon, so we decided that I could drive you to Billie and watch her perform'', she says casually as if it's the most normal thing ever to do.

''Yeah, that'd be great'', I answer, as casual as I can, not wanting her to realise my feelings for the blue haired-girl. Unfortunately, Julia just grins before putting her phone down on the table, looking right into my eyes.

''Are you two a thing? Because it's clear that you like each other'', she says in a more serious tone, making me sigh. Should I tell her?

''Well, I guess that we are'', I confess, seeing how a smile grows on Julia's face. She grabs my hand, cheering as if she's a little kid.

''Oh my god, I'm so fucking happy for you! Poor Travis'', she chuckles, making me think about him and his loneliness. He shouldn't have a problem to find a good looking girl because he is a ten out of ten, deadass.

''He will be fine, just give him some time and he will be dating the sexiest girl in the world'', I giggle, making Julia nod in agreement.

''I think that we have to leave now, let's go'', she says after a while, grabbing her car keys and waiting for me to get ready. When I'm on my way to the car, I realise that I'm only wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants in this weather, making me shiver from the cold air. Julia seems to notice, because she turns around, facing me with raised eyebrows.

''Shouldn't you wear a jacket at least?'' She asks and I shake my head.

''I'm good'', I mumble before sitting down in the passenger seat.

''Whatever you say'', she sighs, entering the car and starting the engines.

The car ride is pretty silent, I don't feel like talking and Julia seems to understand. The only noises that can be heard is the monotonous male voice from the GPS, informing Julia the way to Billie's performance. I just look out through the window, watching the cars that just pass by. All of the people inside of those cars are probably having a better life than I do. Sometimes I just wish that I was another person. Like, any other person in this world. Before I get to think even more, Julia's voice interrupts me.

''I think that we are here.''

I look around at the place. We are standing on a parking lot, close to a big building made of concrete. Overall, the place looks pretty dead, but I guess that the fans are one the other side of the building. I don't know a lot about how everything works when someone is performing, so it will sure be interesting. After closing the car door, I start to walk towards a red door that I guess is the entrance with Julia by my side. I knock on the door, stepping back and waiting for someone to open it up. After a while, it does and there stands Finneas.

''Hey, Finneas!'' I grin, hugging him. It's maybe weird to do it, but he seems so nice towards Billie, and our little conversation at Billie's house made me like him even more. He is a good person.

''Hi, Ember. I'll tell Billie that you are here, hold on!'' He says before walking towards another door, inside of the room. I walk inside the small hallway and look around. Fortunately, the place looks more interesting on the inside with a red painted wall and a concrete floor that someone has desperately tried to cover up with carpets.

''I think that I have to leave now, Ems. School is starting soon, but good luck! Don't make out with Billie for too long so she gets late to the performance'', she says, smirking.

''Shut up!'' I say before hugging her. When we pull away and she leaves, Billie shows up in the doorway where Finneas disappeared before. She's wearing a black beanie, black cargo pants and a black, oversized hoodie, so very black overall.

''Hey, how are you?'' She asks before approaching me and pulling me into a hug. I feel so unbelievebly safe in her arms, it's insane.

''I'm fine'', I mumble into her shoulder.

''Are you telling the truth?'' She asks, after pulling away, stroking my cheek.

''Yeah.''

'''Good'', she smiles before cupping my cheeks and leaning in for a kiss. I meet her lips with my own, closing my eyes to enjoy it even more. After pulling away, she kisses my forehead and grabs my hand, walking towards the door where she showed up. The room is quite small, with he same style as the rest of the rooms. There's a brown, frayed couch in the corner of the room with two black pillows on it. The wall behind the couch is covered by posters of other singers that's been performing here, too. There's a mirror on the wall with a table in front of it with some makeup products.

''This is dope'', I say, tracing the posters with my fingers while trying to find a singer or band that I recognize. I hear how Billie sits down in the couch, making it squeak a bit.

''Come here'', she says softly, making me turn around and walk towards her. I sit down by her side and she pulls me down so I'm laying with my head in my lap.

''When are you performing?'' I ask, staring up at her.

''Thirty minutes. I've already done soundcheck and that shit, so everything is ready. Are you going to watch?'' She asks, running her fingers through my hair.

''Of course'', I say, smiling.

''Hold on, I need to get ready'', she says, carefully lifting my head up and replacing her lap with one of the black pillows. She then walks over to the table, sitting down in the white wooden chair in front of it.

''Should I go live on instagram?'' She asks, pulling up her phone and opening the app.

''Sure, why not'', I answer, making her smile even more before turning on the livestream.

"What's good?" She mumbles, leaning her phone on the table against the wall. I'm on my phone, snapchatting with Julia while Billie is answering questions.

"Who is the person in the couch?" Billie reads loudly, turning around, grinning at me. I feel like I have to show myself because it would be scary if an unknown person would just lay on a couch in the background.

"This is my friend, Ember", she says when I pop up behind her, leaning against the backside of the chair.

"Sup", I mumble, waving to the camera.

"Come, sit here!" Billie says when I'm about to sit on the couch again, patting her lap. I sit down, putting arm around her shoulder and she wraps both of her arms lalizy around my waist, resting her chin on my shoudler.

"Why haven't we seen her before?" Billie reads out loud again. "We haven't known each other for that long, to be honest", she shrugs.

We sit like that for a while, answering the questions that are appropiate. I try to avoid every question that has to do with us dating or not being only friends.

"Billie! You need to get on stage now!" A voice shouts, just when Billie has turned off the stream.

"I'm coming!" She yells back, grabbing my hand and leading me through the hallways before reaching the stage.

"Good luck."

"Thank's babe, see you after the show", she says before walking out on stage, making the fans in the crowd scream their lungs out. This will be really interesting.