You could've turned the water off

Way before I started drowning.

'Cause you saw the tears in my eyes

When I lost my smile that night.

You can't say it didn't occur to you

that something about this might not be right.

The concern in your eyes didn't match the actions that took place in your mind.

So, you just let me cry.

And I remember more than I want to now.

My therapist really did a good job at pulling some of the suppressed memories out.

Now I wish I could forget again

'cause I keep questioning myself.

Why the fuck didn't I just get out?

Maybe I brought the whole thing on myself.

Maybe your friends might've grew to feel some guilt.

But in the end it was me who took on the blame and never said a thing,

'Cause in the back of my mind I felt so much shame.

My heavy heart was crippled in pain.

And I never saw your face again.

Maybe it's because you knew my age

And you were too old to claim it as a mistake.

You knew what you were doing.

Almost as if you planned the whole damn thing.

It makes me so sick to think about all the future things you ruined for me.

'Cause my life has nothing to do with you now.

But I still see your face when I think about the way that southern comfort smells.

You should've just let me drown.

I didn't deserve to live with your guilt

And it still breaks my heart now.

I go back to that night in my head all the goddamn time somehow.

But I still can't remember the parts that I cry about.

The irony kills me and I wish you would've just let the water take me out.

15 years later and I'm still around,

Living with secrets that I wish I could turn into doubts.

I'd block them all out.

Truth is, you're the worst part of my memory and it's all I think about.

You should've just let me drown.