《Time Can't Heal This》Father

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I don't know why I always act like you.

I say I hate those things about you and then

I let my stubborn side take hold of my pride.

Then I say I'm not gonna be the one to call first this time.

I know that you're exactly the same

And that's what has me scared that it might really be too late.

I didn't know that you were sick.

I didn't know that I might not have time to fix this.

It's been 7 years now

And I'm terrified that too much time has passed us by.

How do we make this right?

All I've ever needed from you my entire life,

Was to show me that I was worth putting up some kind of fight.

But you never did.

I still remember exactly how it felt

to feel my heart break for the very first time when I was just a kid.

I was 5 years old and you turned around and walked right out of my fucking life.

Without a single tear in your dark and empty eyes!

And I hate that it still makes me fucking cry.

I think I've always known since that day,

That I would never be able to look at you the same.

You saw my pain and you looked the other way.

I could never understand

how you could know that I was hurting and still be okay.

You were never a fucking dad to me!

You never even tried to be!

And every time I questioned your love for me,

You twisted the truth so fucking much

You made me believe that it was my fault that I never felt your love!

You're a fucking narcissist and I'm the one who's wrong.

'Cause god forbid you take the blame

For the problems between us that you create.

I'm the one who's had to live with all the pain.

The universe sure has a way to throw some karma in your face.

What hurt the most was that you took my brothers away from me.

Then you gained a stepdaughter that you treated like a queen.

And for the rest of my life I'll always wonder what life could've been like;

If I had gotten to have a father that wanted me.

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