Gwen sat beside me at the kitchen counter as Mum pulled out the third tray of gingerbread men from the oven. Our job was to decorate, though I think I have nearly eaten the bowl of chocolate drops that were supposed to be their eyes and half a tray of biscuits.

"Sam, I have never seen you have an appetite like this before. While I'm thrilled, I also want you to stop!" Mum scolded for the second time.

"It wasn't me." I lie, pointing at Gwen.

"Please, I have eaten nearly a whole turkey for lunch today. There is no way more food is fitting in my gut."

"You ate a turkey?"

"We had a big run yesterday and this morning. Fresh snow makes our wolves go crazy." She shrugs.

"Of course it does." Though at the thought of turkey, I looked at the fridge and wondered what Mum had hidden in there.

It was as though she could read my thoughts. "Did you want me to make you something up Sammy?"

"No. I'm fine with these." I tell her, snatching another cookie.

"Your mum has a point, since when do you eat so much?" Gwen questioned.

"Since about a week and half ago. I've just been, hungry. Like starving. It's hell. Do you know how much I have been spending on food lately?"

Both of them exchanged a look.

"How else have you been feeling?" Mum questions, a hint of excitement in her voice.

"Sick because I eat too much." I leave out the rest, my Aiden thoughts are not anyone's business. I even wish they weren't mine, and I frown at the subtle way Gwen tries to sniff my arm. "Did you just, oh no. Don't get ahead of yourself Mum."

I know what they're thinking now. The change is finally happening for me, but I doubt it. I'm blaming the cold. Animals eat a lot to stock up for winter and I just started late, that's all it is.

"You did ask me about what I thought of you trying to fix yourself. Did you do something?" She asks casually.

"Not having to eat a turkey because of my crazy metabolism after running around on four legs all day is a blessing."

Gwen growls. "You make it sound horrible sometimes. What does she mean though, fix yourself?"

"Brie offered to do something that mix mean I could be one of you after all. It's nothing. I told her no." A few times actually.

"You two seem to have become friends. Anything else been going on while you've been away?" She looks at my mum who shrugs, and they both stop what they're doing to look at me.

Well I had a few options now. Lie, lie and lie some more or tell them the truth. It was almost tempting just to see their reactions. Oh well there was this whole attraction thing with Mr. Hot & Cold who would you believe is a hybrid and does the witches dirty work. I also got drunk with that witch where we bonded over wine and The Notebook, as well as getting attacked by a vampire, helping them work out who is behind all the murders as well as kind of befriending that murderer. I'm sure you'd like him Mum, he loves a good Merlot too!

You know what, they'd never believe me even if I did tell them the truth.

"I went home, I worked, I probably drank too much and I found my missing appetite. That's all. Oh and as of yesterday Kyle has officially become Kitty's new owner."

"Why?" Gwen asked, breaking off an arm and then a leg as she did well to ignore Mums glaring.

"He's a terrible judge of character. Some door to door salespeople came by and he loved them all which made it hard to make them go away. If anyone tries to sell me more solar panels, they're seeing my dark side." I laugh.

A lie, kind of. Kitty was a terrible judge of character. He liked Brianna, a witch. He seemed to like Aiden, a nightmare. He was especially fond of David who in his last little visit, earned nothing but purrs from the fat cat the second he laid eyes on him.

"I don't even know why you had a cat in the first place." Mum mumbles as she leaves as the more well cooked biscuits and saves the rest, taking over decorating duties.

"So, you are coming over tonight right?" Gwen asks soon after as we are officially kicked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I sip my hot chocolate deciding to lie, again, to save issues later.

"Of course. Not going to your parents place for a christmas eve party sounds like something I wouldn't totally not do."

She frowns. "Especially when my cousins will be there."

"They are?" A part of me reacts. Fear makes me nervous and I pray she doesn't notice it. "Good for them."

We're all adults now. So far my old tormentors have stayed away, mostly due to my brothers sticking close at the pack events. Gwen's cousins seem to have been exempt from having to go to these things, so now I know they're back the teenage girl that was left to their mercy wants to go hide in her room and never come out. The adult me wants to muzzle them and send them away for castration, but in this instance the old me wins.

"Sam, you won't even have to talk to them. Mum has already put down the law in the house. They're not kids anymore either. It will be fine." She promises.

"I know. I said I'm going and I will." because dealing with her cousins actually sounds like the easier option than seeing a certain tall, dark and handsome jerk that will probably be lurking around too.

"I think you're just telling me what I want to hear."

"I think you think that you think you know me better than you do."

"It'll be fun! I've loved seeing you again these last few weeks. Why did we move so far apart?" She pouts.

"Because we both hate pack stuff and your parents wouldn't let you follow me when i finally got away." I had Hannah back home, and some work friends, but Gwen just knew me and it was nice being together again. Did not mean I was prepared to go spend Christmas Eve at her house.

"So you gonna spill what's really been going on? Hannah told me you and Aiden seem to be on and off."

"It's only been off. Whatever she thinks isn't the case."

"So this is when you're off?" She holds up her phone and turns out David wasn't the only one to have seen that kiss as Hannah had sent a pic of us to Gwen. "That looks pretty damn-"

"Nothing. It was nothing. He's got issues, like I'm not even going to go there kind of issues." I yawn. "Let it go."

"Fine. Oh crap, it's nearly four. I gotta get home. So I'll see you tonight?" She asks one more time as she gets up and is already halfway out the door.

"With bells on! I wouldn't miss it."

The second she is gone Mum is in the doorway. "You're not going are you?"

"You, Dad and the boys couldn't get me there even if you had me chained up and carried me." I shrug. "I'll be fine here so long as there's more hot chocolate, cookies and tv."

Instead of leaving me alone she came and sat down instead, brushing my hair back from my face I had to smile at her touch. I wiggled over slightly and leant against her, happy to have her hug me.

"Are you really doing okay Sammy? Something just seems, different about you now."

"I am Mum. There's just been some work stuff going on and I'm happy to be here for Christmas, but it would be nice if Dad could just be nice for five minutes you know?"

Since coming back all I had heard from him was a grunt of hello and if I could pass the butter at breakfast. Real father daughter bonding kind of stuff.

"I know darling. You know what he's like. Come help me pack up these cookies for tonight and then I'll be off and you can have your alone time." She smiles, kissing my forehead before getting up. "Maybe you could come, just for a little bit. Gwen would appreciate it and the boys. You know how much they miss you too."

Dad and my brothers would already be at Gwen's. It was part of the post pack run tradition and I did miss my brothers as well.

"Very subtle guilt trip Mum. Fine. Half an hour and then I'm out." I decide.

"Thank you."

She can count it as a Christmas miracle.

_________________________

An hour into the party I was starting to look for my escape. With the bulk of the crowd in the main living room around the christmas tree, I took my nearly empty plate towards the kitchen, deciding to leave through the back. Stupidly I stayed for the food, that hunger I had developed back once more only now I was left with a stomach ache from eating too much. A few caterers stood around cleaning down bench tops as desert was prepared and I almost considered staying for that - until I saw Aiden. He had been by the staircase and hoping he hadn't noticed me or was choosing not to see me, I knew it was definitely time to go.

"Samara?" An all too familiar voice asked as I got to the door and turning, I forced a smile at the sight of Megan.

Gwen's cousin wasn't like Gwen. You could liken Gwen to a barbie, which she would hate me doing, but it was kind of true. Megan was less blonde, perky and smiley. During our days at school she put the meanest mean girl to shame and now here we were, in the kitchen together.

"Oh hey Megan."

"What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were dismissed of pack duties." She smiled, and I'd actually rather a vampire right now. Sure she looked friendly, but it was fake.

"Just in town for the holidays." I tell her. "You're looking well."

"I wish I could say the same thing about you." She narrowed her eyes as she looked me up and down.

I hated feeling like this. Weak. Insignificant. Her jeans seemed to fit her waist in the wrong way, her size easily double mine if not more and just that alone made me feel as tiny and useless as the child she used to pick on. I noticed the scarf around her neck gave me the fantasy of tightening it to the point she begged me for mercy, not that it would ever happen.

"There you are!" Gwen appeared as my knight in shining armour, Luke right behind her.

"We've been looking for you Sammy. Everything okay in here?" He asks, the look served to Megan making her step back slightly.

"Yeah, we were just catching up." I lie.

"It's been years since we've seen each other." Megan says sweetly.

"For good reason." Luke snaps back. "Come on, Mum wants a family photo."

I can't tell if he's lying or not but I give up my escape and follow my brother out into the main area. Gwen is right behind me, and as the three of us enter I can feel the eyes on us. There are a few murmurs that follow as I know Megan appears. Well that should keep the pack grapevine full of gossip.

"If she did something-" Luke starts the second we stop by Jack who glares over my shoulder as Megan passes us.

"She did nothing. I was just leaving anyway."

"If anyone starts anything tonight, let us know." Jack demands, both my brothers getting defensive before there was anything to even worry about.

"Calm down." I tell them, forcing a laugh. "No one will do anything, especially not with you three watching my back."

"You can't leave yet!" Gwen pouts.

I look around and Aiden is nowhere to be seen. He's around though. His presence lingers everywhere like a bad smell and I give in to Gwen.

"Fine. Let me get a drink."

It's another lie. I was totally getting out of there luckily I had to pass the pop up bar to get to the front doors so they wouldn't know I was still making my escape. Unfortunately as I do get outside, a few of my other old school pals have formed their little group with Megan and stand close together, talking in quiet voices. Why they're all out in the cold doesn't make sense and my paranoia hits a new high. Well, we were all adults now and remembering the lesson Luke had served her with when the wolves had gone out after my attack, she should have listened to his warning. There isn't really a way around them if I wanted to leave and so I keep my head high and don't even acknowledge that they're there, hoping they would do the same.

Clearly my feet don't quite make it past them with the same confidence as something hits just above my ankle as I take the first step. I stumble, arms out there isn't anything to grab onto as I lurch forward, but I don't quite fall. I almost wish I had so the ground would be able to swallow me up. I know those hands as they grab my waist, catching me and the group stops laughing as Aiden gets me stable again.

"You good?" He practically growls.

"I just tripped. It's fine."

"No, it's not."

I turn to see him back up there, and I know he hides how fast he can really be. Their faces are pale, eyes wide and even I can smell their fear as he says something to them. To see five adults, run inside like scared little children gives me some satisfaction until he turns my way and then I'm the one running only it's towards Mums car. I don't even get to unlock it before he's there.

"You could have been hurt just then. No thank you?" He almost sounds like he's teasing me. I'm not going to bite this time.

"Thank you." I unlock the car and go to open it only he keeps his hand on the door so I can't. "Please just let me go."

"Sam, I-"

"No. In two days I'll be gone again and you do not need to make this night even better than it just was by saying anything right now. Just let me go."

Neither of us move.

"Fine. What Aiden? What do you want?" I huff, turning so we're now standing in front of each other. I refuse to look at him, staring at the collar on his jacket instead while trying to freeze as he now seems speechless.

"How about I give you a ride home?" He finally offers.

"How about you just let me drive myself and we can go our separate ways."

"I don't want that." Was that guilt I detected?

"No? What do you want then, because-"

I didn't get to finish as he stepped closer and taking my hands in his, I finally looked him in the eye. Not my greatest moment.

"You. I want you."

"Sorry, but that's not happening." Pulling my hands free, I finally get the car door open.

"Just, let me drive you home. Please." He almost begged and seeing how miserable he looked now, whatever made me keep going back for more had me doing it again.

"Fine. No stops on the way there, including ditching me on the side of the road."

The soft hum of christmas carols fills the car as we drive along the highway. Our turn off was two over passes ago and I don't say a word. Neither of us do. It's pathetic how I'm just happy to be in his company again and for some reason I think he's glad of it too.

"So should I be worried about where you're taking me?" I finally ask as all the driving has us heading back into town.

"No. I just want to talk."

"Doubt it." I mumble, admiring the coloured lights that decorate some of the houses we're driving by.

"I've been thinking and these past few days since leaving you have been, strange. For me." He coughs awkwardly, and takes a turn onto a dirt track.

The moon is bright above us as we parks the car in a small clearing. There isn't a lot around except for white fields and the dark shadows of the trees. Not the most comforting place to talk, when I'm pretty sure serial killers come out here to hide the bodies.

'Well they've been great for me." I lie.

"I doubt that." He sounds so smug I kind of want to slap him. "I've not wanted someone how I want you, ever. So I go with my instincts of pushing people away."

"Yup, you do that so well."

"I keep thinking about that kiss, and you, and-"

"So after all your talk about how dangerous you are and how you weren't interested, and you think you're going to what, bite me? You're now wanting another go at it?"

He shrugs. "Pretty much."

"So if I kiss you right now, you won't run away." I look at him closely, wondering what the hell was going on for him to be all well, this.

"Promise. Not having you around anymore, it's messing with my head and fighting it is exhausting."

"Too bad. Fool me once shame on you, you know? I am done Aiden. I practically threw myself at you, twice, and nothing you say will make it worth it because-"

The bastard kisses me.

So, so worth it.

His palms are warm against my cheeks as he holds my face gently in his hands, but his is nothing like his hands. There's an urgency to it, like trying to breathe when there is no air. I unclip my seatbelt and reach out to touch him, I have to touch him. Then I'm straddling him, his chair is pushed back and my head bumps against the roof as I break away, needing to process everything. His forehead rests on mine as we both just stop, trying to catch our breaths. Looking into his eyes the wanting was never in question, but would he really follow through?

"You said you didn't care about what I am. I have urges Sam, and I don't know if I can stop myself if-"

"I don't care and I trust you." I mean it. Stupid Samara.

Cold air rushed into the warm space and I was being carried away from the car. My stomach sunk at the prospect of this being a cruel joke, to myself dumped out here and abandoned and holding on, I wasn't going to let go without a fight. Instead the cold disappeared and daring to open my eyes, I found us inside a cabin.

"I come out here to get away from everyone." Aiden whispers against my ear, tracing along my jawline with his nose until his lips are back on mine.

"For a second I thought you were about to ditch me." I admit.

He sets me down on the bed, taking off his jacket as he goes to put another log on the fire. There is no other light except for the flames and the shadows cling to him as they always have until he is in front of me again.

"No, never again."

I literally throw myself at him now and there is no holding back - nothing stopping at us. Clothes fall to the floor, staying wherever they land as instinct and need take over each and every thing that comes next. I still have my underwear on as we stretch out on the bed, yet already I feel more than exposed. His fingers dance along my scars before his lips follow sending goosebumps of anticipation all over.

"Those people at the party. They did this?" He asks, his voice tight with anger - breaking into the bubble we had just created.

"Not now." Sitting up I pull him closer so eventually he covers all of me. My legs tighten around his waist, holding him there. "I don't want to think of them right now."

I urge him on, scared that if the moment wears off it will be over and he'll reject me again. Not that I think that could happen now anyway. His hands are eager, moving everywhere I need to feel them and that blurry line between fiction and reality takes over. His scent is intoxicating, his body so strong yet gentle and I lose track of the world until there is only him. It's almost like torture as time goes on and just when I think I could take more, my body damp and a fire that's been burning since the day we met threatens to explode - hunger hits.

It's easy to ignore at first, my mind preoccupied until I feel the sharp sensation of his fang against my breast, his lips slowly dragging up against my collarbone until his tongue licks my neck. It's a hidden message, the signal I was waiting for.

"So perfect. So beautiful." He murmurs, the words barely sinking in as I close my eyes, the sensation too overwhelming. My nails dig into his shoulders, keeping me anchored to something real as I start to fall apart and he growls out one word while the world explodes around us. "Mine."