《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Mutual Idiots
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Mutual Idiots
FireWithfire11
Romance, Reckless, Humor, Teen Fiction, Drama, Criminals
LOVE IT. A little generic, but CUTE. Love the use of the colors.
Sweet and straight to the point. I do think it will sound better if in present tense. 'is' not 'was.' I do really like the final part "So what happens when a storm meets a hurricane? Chaos."
To be honest I wasn't sure it was Eva until you said 'she.' Also it would help if I remember things I skim at....*Hits forehead* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! The cane!!!
AWWWWWWWWW!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SHIP IT!!!
I like how you use 'She' to symbolize the mother. I LOVE the description of what Eva sees.
4 💙💙💙💙
Reckless and Impulsive are the same thing. Impulsive is a synonym to reckless. A hurricane is a storm, but I do see where you're going. I LOVE it!! I laughed and all i can think of is SHIP, SHIP!!! I'm a hopeless romantic. I like how the chapters are diary entries. If I have time I might actually read on. The only thing I had a problem with was the use of reckless and Impulsive. As well as Hurricane and storm. What about Hurricane and Wind? Since a Hurricane, can't be a Hurricane without wind.
Rate from 1-5
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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial120 Chapters
Beyond?
Author's Comment: I was asked about reading my work on other sites. The answer is simple: Currently I am not active in any other networks than royalroadl.com. Only here, I correct mistakes and errors. If you read it anywhere else and have to pay for it, or have to deal with an annoying amount of advertisement, You Are Being Betrayed. You would do good if you make other people in that network aware of it. This is a free project of mine for the purpose of having fun. And if people try to make money with it you shouldn't bother visiting their website. The only one whom I actually allowed to have my work on his website is Armaell who invested the time to compile them into pdf. (http://armaell-library.net/author/andur) ——————————————————————————————— Reading Order of the Multiverse-Books ——————————————————————————————— My world faced its end, but I refused to perish with it! So I intercepted a summoning ceremony from another world. One moment!? My summoner tried to summon a demon? Fuck it, I think it's better to break the contract and do my own thing... or not? Why is Mrs. Sacrifice hugging me? And why am I suddenly a child!? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am not entirely sure how this fiction will turn out. And I am not sure on the tags either. They may change. Bear with it. As always, how chapters turn out is up to my mood.
8 194 - In Serial41 Chapters
Dream Game: Fighting for my Desires
Kira Anderson has never had it easy. He finally worked up the courage to admit his feelings to his crush since middle school only to be shot down cold. He has always had a tall and frail body structure causing him to be picked on a lot, his name didn't help any either. His parents are divorced and he lives with his dad's ex-wife who is not even his real mother, but treats him like more of a son than his biological parents ever did. The only thing that has brought him sanity in his depressing life is his ex-stepmom and video games. One night, while he is sleeping, he is given the chance to grasp what he desires. Authors Note: Cover Art is a picture from Google Images. Feel free to submit some drawings if you want (even though I really like this picture) This is another story that I have been thinking about writing and I haven't been able to get some of it out of my head. I am going to write this one along with my other story. (Warning story is partially wish fullfilment.) Chapter release times and daters are honsetly whenever I can. Also, if any one has anything to add that they feel would make this story better please let me know although I can't promise that I will add it in or change something I will at least take your ideas into consideration as long as it don't change my view for the story too much. Please read all the chapters posted before getting mad over something that doens't make sense, it may have been explained in the next chapter or a later chapter. If it has not been explained feel free to comment or pm me and I will do my best to explain it in a future chapter or in a reply for you.
8 194 - In Serial50 Chapters
Celeste Academy
The boundary between Valemnia and Earth has been breached by demons. Although knights who go by the name Celestes have managed to take things back under their control, demons who escaped to Earth have to be hunted down. When fate decided to turn at the wrong time, seventeen-year-old Valeriana Kerrigan ended up in the clutches of a demon she escaped from at a price—her choice. Her unfortunate involvement served as wind in her sail to leave neutral waters, hence, she reluctantly steps into the chaotic shores of a different world where the only way to leave and live is to enter and learn to fight. Even so, Valemnia’s problem with demons may take more than just learning how to wield a sword and getting along with its element-bending locals. To keep the boundaries strong between her world and the other, Valeriana would have to learn how to let go of her humanity. Literally. But is this world worth losing it for?
8 103 - In Serial81 Chapters
Essentia Animus
Second Book of the Soul - Celesi Veil Trilogy When the living essence of three girls are put at risk, giving room for a second essence within themselves, even their hyper developed fantasy world might not be enough to contain their new found ambitions. Another story of another world, these three girls must adapt to their new essence, all while each is left to question if they are truly still even alive. While this story is a sequel of the previous story in the trillogy, it is also fully capable of standing alone in its own light, taking place in a distant corner of a Celese returning readers will be otherwise incapable of recognizing. However, the events of the story are a spoiler for the previous book, in case that matters to anyone. This story takes place over two centuries after the events of Vitae Memorandum, when Celese had developed into an advanced world, improved to a point that it is much like modern-day Earth while still using the gift instead of technology. The Aethyx languages are still present in this book, and even English still exists in the world after the events of the previous book, but are much less of a focus after the same closing events of the previous book. What is instead important is how the ending events of the previous book had resulted in the start of the Instrumentation Era, and exactly how the gift translates in a modern-day sense. While this book is still effectively a fantasy world of its own kind of magic, it isn’t the classical medieval scene that would be typical for such a story. The laws of science still do not exist in Celese, but that didn’t stop it from developing into something that looks similar enough. Earth itself still remains present on the other side of the veil, and its previous exposure continues to shape and advance Celese into the world it has become. This story contains scenes exibiting mania and similar dark themes, as it goes to great length to explore concepts of life and death. While the degree of such themes should not be considered to be as serious compared to matters such as actual horror, the psychological depth is still siginifcant enough to be potentially concerning for people sensitive to matters of this nature, such as any individuals with concerns questioning matters of suicide, mental harm, or a variety of emotional injuries. While none of these subjects actually occur in the story, readers who are currently troubled by such matters may find themselves considering old wounds if they are especially capable of empathy while reading, which could lead to furthered emotional or mental stress. Readers with a high capacity for empathy may find themselves troubled by concerns regarding any potential lack of mental/emotional control as well as considerations regarding the meaning of death. Readers who appreciate subtle dark themes in a story may instead find this to be an interesting twist of the same idea.
8 116 - In Serial8 Chapters
My Book of scribbles
Its a random book of thoughts and stuff, random things and just general weirdness. I might do 1 chapter or 100 just don't expect to much. I will update the tags as i go. No chapter is related to another unless said so and the quality varies wildly At less one is quite dark in tone... so yeah You have been told
8 161 - In Serial78 Chapters
your eyes - lee know
"your eyes," her own staring into his "they tell me truths that i dont want to believe"your typical enemies to lovers story.lower case intendedstarted: 28/10/20completed: 27/1/21
8 193
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