《Critique And Editing Info》Critique:Road Trip
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Road Trip (But cover says 'Peregrination: A struggle to survive')
SimplyMeka
Adventure, Teen Fiction, Drama, Journey, Death and Life
Mysterious. I like the use of green in the back (So Forest or woods as location). As well as fire in which in your story symbolizes survival.
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and states the problem. I feel like something is missing, but I'm not sure what.
In the long run this page will be useful since you have six or more characters.
Agroup of friends...But then there is this one girl, who just moved to America? I don't see how you could get a girl like her to sit in a car for two hours with people she doesn't know. I don't even like sitting close to my family. I need space in on a long car ride also SNACKS!!!! What the heck is wrong with these people!!! ( I know it's a story...). Also who leaves their keys in the car???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Why are they in the woods/forest?? Also choose between using Sun Li or Sunny. It can confuse the reader.
Wow.... dead. If your going to do different perspectives using Third Person. Don't use he and she, since you have six characters. Use their name.
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I see potential with this story. It's not my cup of tea, but I can see people who like the Maze Runner and Hunger Games liking this. So which one is the actual title. Having more than one title is confusing for the reader. Also keep it sweet and simple. I like the name on the cover since It's more mysterious. The summary I feel like needs dialogue, just a little. I commented some stuff. I pretty much stated everything in the chapter portion. Keep writing.
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Rate from 1-5
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1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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