--- flashbacks

"Hey, hey, Lia wait up!-" Renjun called out when he sees Lia walking past his classroom. The boy quickly running out of the class as he tried to talk to her. When hearing that someone had been calling her name, she stopped at her traces to look behind.

"Renjun? Do you need something." She asked him, kinda weirded out that he wanted to talk to her.

"Uh I just wanted to ask you if there's anyone who's been getting really close with Lily." He replied. Fidgeting with his own fingers as he asks her that.

"There is this one guy called Sunwoo. He's been getting close with Lily, she's also been hanging out with him allot. To be honest Renjun, I'd love it if you'd start being more ummm.. what's a nice way of saying it? A lot more braver when it comes to showing her your feelings. You have a strong opponent and if you're going to keep admiring her in silence and afar then I'm afraid that you'd lose against Sunwoo and end up getting heartbroken." Lia answers. Her answer making Renjun's mood drop.

Oh, someone else likes her as well. I mean who wouldn't?

"Oh. Alright then... I was asking that because I was planning to confess to her today.. I guess not." He said in sorrow.

"You still have a chance. Sunwoo hasn't confessed to Lily yet, if you're quick enough then she might accept your feelings. You've got this Renjun, I'll be rooting for you!" Lia patting his shoulders as he smiles at her softly.

"Thanks Lia."

Dismal, heartbroken, and defeated is what he felt right now. As the boy was trying to find Lily, so he could confess to her, he had accidentally overheard Sunwoo's confession to her. Of course she accepted his confession. It was an unintentional rejection. He didn't even need to confess in the first place to get rejected. He felt pathetic. How idiotic of him to even like her in the first place, well knowing that she would never feel the same way.

"Hey Renjun you ok?" Jeno asks him. The four group of friends currently in a cafe. Well the three friends decided to bring Renjun there so it'll be able to cheer him up. But it was no use.

"Yeah I'm fine. You guys don't need to keep asking me that every five minutes." He lied to them. Looking away so his friends wouldn't be able to see how sad he was. Or was he trying to hide his tears from them?

I'm not fine. How could I be fine?

"You don't need to lie to us. We know that you're not ok. It's ok to tell us if you feel like shouting, crying, heck you could even start hitting us from frustration?! There's no use trying to hide it from us. So tell us Renjun, are you really feeling alright?" Haechan complains. He did have a point there.

Renjun looks over at them. His friends all having a concerned look on their faces.

"No I'm not ok." The boy finally broke his act as he breaks down in front of his friends. Haechan pulling his dear friend into his embrace as he let's him cry on his shoulders.

...

"Look who got themselve a boyfriend." Minghao teased. Lily and her family currently having dinner together and what better way then for him to tease his little sister?

"Lily has a boyfriend? Who's your boyfriend dear." Her mother asked in excitement. Expecting for her daughter to say the guy with the initial 𝑹'𝒔 name.

"Sunwoo." She replied whilst smiling widely. Her father congratulating her as Minghao continued to tease the shit out of his younger sister. As for her mother, she was a bit taken aback from her response. Could she say that she felt a bit sad that it wasn't Renjun? But nonetheless she congratulated her daughter. If she truly did like Sunwoo and was happy to be in a relationship with him then who was she to not accept it. If Lily is happy then she's also happy with her daughter's decision.

--- 🌧

...

"Minhee why did you want to meet up with me this late?" Renjun asked while adjusting the jacket on his body.

"Let's break up." She replied and looked at him with no sort of emotion or care.

"What?"

"Let's break up renjun." She repeated.

"Is there an explanation to why you want us to break up?" He asked as she only chuckled.

"You wanna know why? Because you were a bet. My friends dared me to ask a random guy out from your school and you looked like a person who would be easy to fool so I chose you. It was a nice four months but hey I got my money. Hahaha. Next time dont be so easy going on a girl Injun. Who knows they might end up being like me." she said before walking off. Yet again he was left alone.

The sound of something breaking could be heard. Did you guess it right? Yep, it was his heart. It broke for the second time but this time, a little more hurtful.

"Why am I so fucking dumb?." He said and had his hands shaped as a fist, a single tear rolling down his cheeks.

"Stupid renjun, dont cry. Crying makes you weak." He sniffed while wiping his tears away. Making his way back home.

"You're such an idiot for falling for her tricks. So dumb for even .. giving anyone a chance. No one wants to be with you." He mumbled to himself while walking down the dark streets. He passed the deserted beach, seeing someone's figure there.

"Is that lily?" He asked himself.

"I dont care, shes probably waiting for Sunwoo." He said whilst rolling his eyes in annoyance.

What he didnt know was that she was sitting down and staring at the sea. Pools of tears rolling down her cheeks as they didnt seem to stop. Her heart was broken into two. Her cellphone ringing for the last ten minutes but she failed to hear it. The sound of her cries loud enough as it was the only thing that she could hear.

The boy made his way back home. Looking at front to see someone running over to his direction. The person looked like they were out of breath.

"Oh my god its you Renjun." Minghao. He was the one who was running at this late hour of the night. He looked; exhausted.

Renjun only stood quiet as he looks at him with no expressions evident on his face. Waiting for him to speak.

"Have you seen Lily? She hasn't been picking up my calls for the last fifteen minutes." He asked him in hopes that Renjun had indeed seen his sister.

"I saw her seated by herself at the beach." He replied shortly. Something about his response felt different to Minghao. Renjun would usually smile at him shyly. But this time, he looked at him in annoyance.

"Thank you so much." Minghao quickly thanking him before running off.

"Tsk, why is everyone acting so damn weird."

"JAEMIN LET GO. LET ME TAKE MY FRUSTRATION OUT!" He shouted.

"But not by ruining your artwork that you worked countless hours on Renjun! Stop punching the canvases and creating holes in them, you're damaging your work and your wrists!" Haechan said and held his hands back from punching the canvases even further.

"Renjun stop your fists are bleeding." Mark said who was trying to calm the situation down.

"Does it look like I give a fuck?! No!" He said and threw the objects on his table across the room.

"Chenle quickly call kun hyung!" Jeno said as chenle was quick to dial kun's number.

"Please just let me hurt myself for once. I'm already hurt in the inside." Renjun pleaded as droplets of tears fell down. His friends could only stay quiet. There really was nothing that they could do, he was already destroyed.

...

"TELL ME MOM IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!" Lily shouted, tears rolling down her face as she begs for her mother to be fine. Her older brother having to hold his sister in his arms and calm her down after telling her the news that their mother had just gotten a stroke. Their mother had always been sick throughout the years, that's why she regularly goes out and rather stay in her little sanctuary.

"She's going to be alright dear." Her father spoke. Even the man was unsure of his own answer. Fearing of his wife's condition.

"No you're just lying to me. I should've not gone out to meet Sunwoo and should have answered your calls. There was no use going out when he was only going to break up with me. Mom told me to not go out but I didn't listen to her.." The girl sobbing as she struggles to breathe, her vision being covered with tears.

"I'm so sorry."

Minghao pulled his sister into a tight hug. Crying along with her.

"It's not your fault Lily. Stop blaming yourself."

Yet the next day Lily was met with the horrible news of her mother passing away. The girl not wanting to believe her own ears as her world came crashing down. That was the start of when she started isolating herself from society.

--- ☁️

50 unread messages

30 messages from ew donghyuck;

Renjun please stop locking yourself in your room. I'm going to break your door down I swear.

5 messages from jisung;

Hyung please take care of yourself. Please don't scare me and the guys like this.

15 messages from Yangyang;

You damn asshole, I'm flying back to Korea just so I could meet you. Open your friends messages, don't worry everyone like this.

Renjun turning his phone off as he placed it inside his drawers. The boy letting out a sigh as he pulled his knees closer to his chest. Just staring off into a distant as he dozes off.

*knock knock!*

"Go away!" He shouted from inside his room.

"Injunie." A small voice from the other side spoke. He froze when realising that it wasn't any of his friends nor his parents this time that was knocking on the door, but instead it was his four year old brother; .

Renjun immediately got out of bed as he walks over to the door. Unlocking it for the first time in days, and was greeted by his little brother.

"Gege!" The little boy cheers when he was able to see his older brother again. He crouches down on the floor and pulls his brother into a hug. Surprising the little boy as he was startled by the sudden action.

They stood in silence until he could hear his brother cry, his small shoulders getting wet from Renjun's tears.

"Injunie are you crying?" The boy asked in concern. Something about seeing his older brother cry made him upset. He's always acting so brave and had a smile upon his face so he could be a good role model to his younger siblings, but seeing this side of him couldn't help but to make Juyi cry along with him.

"Injunie don't cry!!" The boy wails. Crying along with him.

"Juyi could you stay with me for a while? Please don't leave me too ok? Stay with gege." Renjun tells him as he tried to force a smile on his face. This only making the little boy cry more in sadness.

...

Blank. That's how she felt right now. Lily was now alone in her art room, staring at an empty canvas. Having a heavy heart as her face showed no expressions.

"Mom said by painting, you could express your feelings into an art piece." She spoke to herself. Lily believes that she's gone insane by now.

She dipped her paintbrush into a container of red paint. Again staring at the canvas before she started splattering the red paint into the sail cloth. Not knowing what she was doing, but it felt nice somehow?

Once she was done, she couldn't help but to look at her final piece weirdly.

"What the fuck is that." Lily questions herself. Although the painting that she just made, made absolutely no sense but it did portray the anger and rage that she felt. That's when she finally realised what her mothers words had finally meant.

Though she can't express any emotions through her facial expressions or actions. She could do the same by showing it through these paintings. I guess that's when she started taking a fancy in art.