First published November 2015

Edited 6-14-2016

It's dark here. Wherever here is. But peaceful. Oh so peaceful and quite.

My body is still humming from the black ribbons. I never knew that I could absorb them. That they were more than what I thought they were. Visions of people's emotions.

That there was a reason for seeing them. It makes me feel less like a freak and more human knowing that the ribbons have some kind of purpose. What I don't know?

God the pain though. It was intensely painful. I'm sure more than one bone broke in the process. But the pleasure.

It was something else entirely. I'd endure a thousand broken bones for just a hint of that pleasure. Not only was it emotionally and physically but it seemed to feed me. Fill me up from my toes to my head.

I still don't know where I am. It seems like I've walked for hours. Nothing but pitch black in front of me. So dark I can't even see any part of my body.

A smile graces my lips as an aftershock of that pleasure rolls through my body. God it feels good. Addicting.

I feel free. If that makes any sense. I was constantly on guard. Always aware of my steel walls that lock out everything. Making sure they stay strong. I'm not now.

I'm a drift in this darkness. I should feel terrified but I'm not. I feel at home. I feel free. Finally free from everything. I never what to leave this dark world.

Maybe I'm dead?

It could be a possibility. Maybe this freeing dark is my heaven. It would make sense in a way. And could be why I haven't ran across any people with their wall shattering touches.

It would make it an almost perfect heaven for me. Only one thing is missing. Daddy.

If this was my dark heaven he would be here with me. Then everything would be right in my world.

But he's not here. Making me think I'm in my own mind or somewhere else entirely. Oh and the tingles. Those damn feel good tingles that run across my skin when ever Kayden is near. Those definitely wouldn't be apart of my heaven. My body pluses with them.

My legs are tired and there's no end to this darkness. I lay down and curl into a ball. It's comforting. Much better than walking when there's no end in sight.

Kayden is moving away. The tingles aren't as strong. Once he completely leaves I can relax more. My body at rest. Possible drift away in the dark. I could do that. Nothing is really keeping me here. I've lost all that matters to me.

It makes me happy thinking about drifting away. Like a feather on the wind. Nothing to worry about.

An electrical jolt runs throughout my body. Stronger than the pleasure that the black ribbons brought me.

I concentrate on the electric. The more I focus on it the more it feels like Kayden.

What is he doing to me?

My head shakes. No. I don't want this. This feeling coursing through my blood. My very soul.

Make it stop. Make him stop. I just want to drift. Drift away in my dark world.

I gasp and grab at my chest. It feels like my heart was trying to rip its way out of my body at the thought of leaving. Of leaving Kayden.

Leave me alone! Go away.

I wiggle backwards. Wanting to run away from all of this.

A light in the distance stops my wiggling, causing me to sit up on my butt. It's a huge becone in my dark world.

It's just a speck out in the distance. It lights up my dark world. It shouldn't be here. Not here in my darkness where I can be free and drift.

The light gets brighter as it moves closer to me. It's a person bathed in light. They're ruining everything.

Tears start to leak out of my eyes. I don't want them here. Him. It's a guy. He's a dark shadow in light shattering my very own darkness.

My eyes close, head laying on my knees. I can feel him now. That guy in the light. He's getting closer. Warming my whole body. Covering me in his light. I don't want it. None of this. I thought I was finally free. Free to drift off.

Heat blisters my forearms followed by big rough hands. He doesn't move. Neither do I. He's not welcomed here in my dark world.

I feel him. In my muscles, through my blood. He's scared. Worried. Lost. Angry. Then there is love. It bulldozes over everything else. Till even the blistering heat is just a memory.

Who is he? This invader in my world who loves me more than he loves himself.

"Avery." His deep husky, sensual voice crashes over me like a tidal wave.

"Kayden." I breath his name like my life line. Why I don't know. It feels right. He's a stranger to me. I just met him today yet I feel if I lose him it's something that would completely devastate me. There would be no coming back from that kind of lost.

I raise my head. The light is him. It's a soft glow now. Warm and comforting.

He's sitting right in front of me. My eyes lock onto his otherworldly green ones, that seem to glow with a yellow tint.

"Why are you here?"

He shifts closer, a soft smile covering his face, "You need me Avery. And I need you."

I shake my head no. Hard and fast. I don't need him. I don't need anyone. Not here in my dark world. He needs to leave. His hands on both of my cheeks stops my movement.

I don't know why I do it but I lean into his left palm. Loving the feel of it on my skin. Inhaling his mountain scent.

He scoots closer wrapping me in his powerful body.

"Yes. You do Avery. Let me help you."

I don't want his help at least I don't think so. I want my darkness. My never ending darkness. And I want to drift, just drift away.

"Don't you feel it. This connection between us. We're the same half making a whole." He whispers in my ear.

I don't want to believe him but I do. It feels right. Us. Two pieces of a puzzle finally together. But my darkness.

"I don't want to leave." I whimper, " To go back means never being free. I can't."

He turns me in his arms till we're face to face.

"You have to. This isn't real."

"It is. It's real and almost perfect." I stress.

"No." He snaps out.

"I can help you Avery. In here you will waste away. Out there, in the real world I can help you."

"No." I cry out, struggling to move away from him.

I'm just so tired of always being on guard. Of being so cold. Of not being normal.

"Please. Come with me."

A shutter runs through my body. Come with him. Why can't he stay? He can't leave. Just the thought almost tears me to pieces.

"I can't stay here Avery." His soft lips touches my forehead. It lingers for minutes. For days.

"Trust me." He breaths out.

Trust him. Can I do it. I don't really know him but the thought of him leaving takes the air from my lungs. Takes the beat out of my heart.

"Okay." I whisper.

A gorgeous smile breaks across his face. Then his cool lips touches mine.

It's like fireworks. Something exciting and real. Butterfly's that rumble through my stomach. Through my blood making me melt into him. It's a perfect kiss. Sweet and loving.

As I feel his wet tongue touch mine. It causes warmth to soar through me. To my core. This is my heaven. Him.