“Kaito, I’m not sure if I made the right choice.” I asked Kaito.

Right now, I’m at Kaito’s place, playing a videogame on his console.

He didn’t answer my question at first because we were still playing a fighting game.

“Maybe. Maybe not. I can’t answer your question, Hiro.” that was his answer.

We continued playing for another round.

“But if you’re asking about the game, my answer will be different.” Kaito added.

“……… what’s your answer if it was about the game?”

“You made the wrong choice.” he chose his fighter in the game.

We did another bout after.

An hour or so passed by in a flash.

“Sigh! Why is life so hard?!” I complained.

“Hm, I dare you to say that to homeless people.” he banters back at me.

“Hey! You know what I mean!”

He gleefully laughs, “Sorry.” he didn’t apologize.

I sighed once more, “What about you? How’s your life?” I sarcastically changed the topic.

“Not as eventful as yours of course.”

“Nah, nah! I’m actually serious.”

He glances at me for a couple milli-seconds, “Not much. School, home and actually having a girlfriend.”

Ouch!

“That hurts, dude.”

“I know.” he chuckles.

We stopped talking for a couple of seconds.

I laid back on his bed and wait for inspiration to come.

I stared on his ceiling while I wait for motivation to hit me.

“I’ve been meaning to asked.” Kaito suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“Why haven’t you and Hana gone out yet?”

The question puzzled me. It was similar to getting asked, ‘do you see your nose?’ or ‘can you feel your toes?’. I snickered, “Hana? ……. I don’t know.”

“What about Isla-san?”

“Isla?! Um……. yeah, I’m a little bit interest in her.”

“Wait?! Seriously?!”

I chuckled, “Well, yeah.”

“What about Hana? I thought you liked her?”

“Hana? I never looked at her that way, I don’t want to destroy our relationship.”

“But…… didn’t you told me that you were interest in Hana before?”

I did. I just stopped liking her after her mom passed away.

“Yeah, I did at one point. I guess I moved on, y’know.”

“Did you tell her, and you got rejected?”

“Nah, I never told her. If I did told her, it would cause more ruin. She already has enough on her, you know that.”

“Argh……... yeah, I know.” he mumbles another sentences that I couldn’t hear.

I hope that she’s doing okay. Especially in that house.

“You want to call her? Ask her to hangout?” I asked Kaito.

“Yeah, after talking about her, it kinda made me worry.”

He picks up his phone from his table and texted Hana to hangout with us. We didn’t invite Yuri because she still doesn’t know about Hana’s situation. It’s been a while since it was just the three of us.

“She said okay.” Kaito said.

“Where is she right now?”

“She was studying in the library, she said she’s going straight here.”

That’s a ten-minute walk.

“I’m going out to the conbini. You want anything?” I asked.

“Hmmm……... some chips.”

“Any kind?”

“Just the salted chips.”

I left and went to the conbini.

As I was walking outside, I passed by my house. My house is right next to Kaito’s, that’s why we’ve known each other for so long; but I didn’t stopped by the house.

It took me longer than I expected to buy something in the conbini. I have a salted flavor potato chips for me and Kaito, a soda for me and a salmon sandwich for me. I felt hungry when I entered the store that’s why I got the urge to buy a lot of foods.

Oh shit! I forgot to buy snacks for Hana!

I went back again and bought chocolate bars and some bread for snacks.

I rushed back to Kaito’s house.

“I’m sorry Kaito! It took longer—” as I entered the house, Hana and Isla were inside removing their outdoor shoes.

Hana was wearing her usual ponytail with her usual normal everyday clothes: jeans, a gray shirt and a jacket.

Isla on the other hand was wearing black leggings with ripped-jean shorts and an oversized hoody jacket with a baseball caps.

“Hiro! Where’d you come from?” Hana asked as she takes off her shoes.

“Takeda-kun?” Isla was with her doing the same thing.

Isla’s presence caught me off guard that I forgot to reply for a second, “Ah! Yeah, I just came from the conbini. I figured that we could eat some snacks while we play.” I answered as I showed her a glimpse of the snacks I bought.

“Are we having an overnight sleep over?” she giggles.

“Nah, we thought that you would be alone. I didn’t think that you were with Isla-san.” Kaito said.

“Oh? I didn’t say that she was coming?”

Kaito double checks his message from Hana, “Nah, you just told me you were going straight here.”

“Oh, sorry.” she looks at Isla feeling sorry for her, “is Yuri here?” she asked us.

“Nah, she had to go to work.” Kaito answered.

“Oh, okay.” she looks at Isla again feeling sorry that she wasn’t invited.

Isla is starting to look worried.

“Don’t worry, you can come inside too Isla.” Kaito reassured her.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

I took off my shoes.

We all entered Kaito’s house.

“Mom, we’re going upstairs.” Kaito said to his mother in the living room while she’s on her computer working in the kitchen.

“Ok, don’t make too much noise, Kaito.”

“I won’t.”

We headed upstairs.

“You have a big house, Machi-kun.” Isla complimented Kaito.

“Well, that’s if your parents are always working. You get big houses like this.” he wasn’t bragging about the house, but a complain that his parents are always working.

My parents are also like that. That’s why we also have a big house similar to Kaito’s.

We got to his room. This is where I was at a couple of minutes ago. There are two console controllers laying on the bed. One of them I was just using before. The bed and his blanket which I was laying on was still the same as I left it, Kaito was probably only sitting in his chair in front of his desk.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here.” Hana said.

“You were just here last week playing games with Yuri.” Kaito banters.

“But that’s last week, that’s a long time.”

While they have their banter, Isla talked to me, “You guys often visit his house?”

“Yeah—well, them, I guess. Back then I would often go here to just play around for a while.”

Because I was hanging out at Hinata often and his friends.

“Well, anyways. You guys can just seat wherever you want.” Kaito said after his small banter with Hana.

Hana seats on his bed, Isla seats on the floor, Kaito seats on his chair and I seat beside Isla. Of course, I kept my distance.

“Have you ever played games before, Isla?” I asked.

“Yeah, I played some.”

“Cool, what kinds of games?”

“COD, CS, PBG, Valorant and other shooting games.”

“Do you play on pc?”

I mostly play on consoles or my phone, I’ve never had a pc before.

“Yeah, I have a pc back home. Well, back home home.” she meant her hometown which is the U.S.

“Have you ever played any fighting games? That’s what Hiro mostly plays.” Hana said.

“I played a little bit of mortal combat, but I went back to shooting games.”

I have mortal combat. I already have my account logged in Kaito’s console; I can just download it from my library.

“Want to play?” I offered her the other controller.

“Sure.”

I booted up the PS4. I downloaded the game because I never played a lot of mortal combat before. While we waited for the download, I asked her something.

“Were you guys hanging out somewhere before this?” I asked why Isla was with Hana.

“No, we just bumped into each other in the library, I was doing my homework then I met Hana as she was entering the library.”

“Oh.”

“Coincidentally, I was also there to do my homework. So, we just did our homework together.” Hana said, “After that, we just talk in a café. Then Kaito texted me.” she did a smirky face.

My heart skipped a beat.

I checked on the download, it’s still not halfway.

Why?! I thought I already moved on! Why did I suddenly feel that way again?

“It’s still an hour! Just play a different game Hiro.” Hana pokes my back.

“Yeah, sure!” I freaked out for a second.

It was probably because of my conversation with Kaito earlier.

“You guys wanna play Tekken?”

“You always play that, try something new this time. Do a shooting game, Ai-chan knows how to play that one.”

“Do we even have a shooting game?” I look at Kaito.

“Nah, I don’t really play much fps.”

“Fps? What’s that?” Hana asked.

“First-person-shooter.” Kaito answered.

“Oh.” she tilts her head a little bit.

Hana isn’t a gamer like me, Kaito or Yuri. She just goes along with our gimmicks.

“Do you play games too, Ha-chan?”

“Not as much as them, especially Hiro or Yuri.”

“What other games do you play?” Isla asked me.

Her green eyes stood out as I was looking at her even though her right eye is almost covered with her hair; I could still notice the faint green colour in her eyes.

My heart skipped a beat.

“Ah, um. I also play multi-player RPG’s or just single RPG’s.”

“That’s cool.”

Conversation ends.

Hana breaks the silence, “Oh, mortal combat is almost done.”

I looked at the screen, but she was lying. It was only half-way there. I looked back at her. I didn’t know what kind of face I should show her, so, I just did some face.

“What? You guys just went silent, I wanted to break the ice a little. It’s getting cold back here.”

“Oh? Should I turn down the AC?” Kaito responded like a good host for a gathering.

“It’s not literal!”

“Oh!” Kaito’s face says that he made a mistake and has just realized how dumb the question was.

Isla laughs a little.

“If you guys aren’t going to play, I can just play assassin’s creed for a couple of minutes while you guys wait.” Hana takes one of the controllers on the small table in front of me and Isla.

As she reaches over, I caught a smell of her scent. It smells a little bit like a flowery detergent coming off from her clothes. He chest also got near my face, so I looked away to the direction where Kaito is.

He knew what was happening and he was enjoying watching it unfolds.

Dude, come on! Help me out here, will ya?!

That’s the face I gave him.

Hana got a hold of the controller as Isla helps her with it.

She scrolls through all the apps and games in Kaito’s console and stops at the game that she wanted to play: Assassin’s creed: syndicate.

She kept playing for a couple of minutes, but she eventually stops because she’s been stuck with one mission for her whole playthrough. She couldn’t follow her target properly without getting seen.

We were all watching her and sometimes guiding her throughout her playthrough, but she gave up eventually.

“Come on! I told you! Just go up the buildings and follow there!” I was explaining to Hana on how to properly finish the mission.

“Yeah, I did that! But whenever he crosses the street, I must go down the building to not lose him! So, isn’t technically better if I just follow him on the ground?!”

“No! You can just use the zipline across the other building!”

“I did! Didn’t I? But I was found out.”

“Yeah, because you let go of the zipline and land on top of him!”

“I didn’t know that I was going to let go when I press a circle!”

“Here, let me show you.” I took out my hand to give the controller.

She gave it to me, “Sure, sure, master.”

I looked at her and gave her a face that says, “that’s how you wanna play it?”

She grins at me and tilts her head a little.

My heart skipped a beat.

I did the whole mission without getting caught. I followed the guy to his base. I found his base and I killed all the targets one by one silently without getting spotted. Then I liberated the building, ending it by lighting the flag of my enemies.

“That’s how you do it!” I proclaimed.

“Okay~ Okay~” that’s her way of accepting defeat.

I laughed seeing how frustrated she was when she was playing the mission that I completed perfectly. I’m not as good as her with sport stuff, but this is where I exceed at; and also studying.

“But you did try your best~” I try and cheer her up a little.

“Shut up.” she was frustrated, yes, but she was also grinning a lot as I teased her.

I noticed that I was solely only talking to Hana half through the time I’m in Kaito’s room. I wanted to change that. I kind of felt bad for Isla and Kaito.

“Let’s see if mortal combat’s already done.” I checked but it was only seventy percent.

It was probably slower because we were playing a game while it was downloading.

“Why’s it so slow?” Hana’s face got close behind me and Isla.

My heart skipped a beat.

What’s happening? Why are my past feelings for Hana coming back again? I don’t want to bring it back.

I took a glance on what sitting position she was in to make her face so close to me. She was apparently laying down, stomach first and she had a pillow acting as her support for her head.

She looked cute in that position.

After a couple of hours, it was now eight in the evening. It was getting late, and we needed to go home.

We all took off a little after eight.

I escorted both to their houses, Isla’s house was the closest one from Kaito’s house.

“That was fun.” Isla stretches her back and arms.

“Oh, yeah?” Hana replied.

“Oh yes, yeah.”

“I got a bit worried that you didn’t enjoy yourself.”

“No, I did. I just like listening more on conversations in group gatherings like that. If everyone’s having fun, I feel like I’m having fun.”

That’s why she wasn’t speaking that much compared to when I just talk to her, one on one.

“I know what you mean.” I added to the conversation.

“Hm.”

“I don’t really know how to describe it, but……. it’s like a natural thing to feel happy when someone’s happy, right?” I explained to them what I meant.

“Yeah!” Hana wholeheartedly agrees with me.

“Hm.” Isla agrees also, “I mean, I might not be adding much to the conversation, but I still feel like I’m part of it. Just being there is enough for me. Don’t you guys agree?” Isla said with energy.

“Uh huh!” Hana nods at her opinion.

“I know I’m not much of a talker, but when I do talk, I usually go on and on with myself. It’s fun to do either the talking or listening.” Isla was now leading the conversation, “Most of my friends back home, usually try and make me add more to the conversation, but I’ve been telling them that I like listening to them. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?”

“Mh hm.” Hana agrees again.

“Like— I don’t even know what I’m getting at! I mean, just let me be is the point I’m making. It probably looks weird from someone’s perspective, but for me, it’s normal.”

“Yeah.” Hana nods.

Isla sighs.

“I really agree with you, people don’t have the right to judge you with your personal taste or the things you like to do. I would always think, ‘just let me off the hook! I like doing this.’ or ‘that’.”

Isla nods.

A moment of silence was soon found after the exchange.

I do agree with Isla and Hana, but I don’t understand the feeling of just wanting to listen to a conversation and feeling like I’m included in the conversation.

But as I ponder on the idea, the more it made sense because I’ve doing it unconsciously just now. I didn’t add much to this conversation, but I didn’t felt left out from it. It’s similar to seeing characters in games interact. You love the dynamic that they have and the ideas that they present. Sometimes you get a choice to pick what your character wants to say, and everything would go either the way you want it or the way they want it.

I really love that part about games that can pick choices. Even though they end up with either three endings or sometimes one ending.

“This is my apartment.” Isla said as she points on a black painted apartment building, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Bye.” she waves goodbye as she enters the building.

“Bye, Ai-chan.”

“Bye, Isla.”

I continued escorting Hana to her house which is a five-minute walk from here.

The emotions that I discarded once had now resurfaced. Just her presence is making me nervous.

“Today was fun. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for inviting me.” she tilts her head to the side and smiles.

My heart skipped a beat.

I cracked a smile, “Any time.”

We continued walking without talking.

It was getting cold, but it didn’t bother me because I had proper clothing on.

“Are you cold?” I asked.

“Nah, I feel fine.”

“Okay.”

A breeze came by.

I looked up the sky. I saw little bits of stars; barely visible.

I heard a little bit of a TV noise coming from a house.

“It seemed like you and Ai-chan are getting along pretty well.”

“I don’t know. Things just got complicated.”

“Oh? Did you guys fight already?”

“No, not that kind of complicated.”

“………. you want to talk to me about it?”

I don’t know.

As we were walking, someone with a big backpack was walking towards the opposite direction of us. It was dark, so we couldn’t see his face from afar. But as he got closer, I recognized him.

He is Hana’s older brother, Ren.

I’ve met him a couple of times, the most recent was in our first day in high school. It was only him who came to see her.

“Brother? What are you doing out here? Sorry I was—” Hana was interrupted by him.

“We’re leaving.” he took her hand.

“Hey! You can’t just grab her like that.” I got I little irritated with the way he was treating her.

“None of your business, kid.” he dragged her.

I hastily grabbed his wrist, “Even though you’re her brother, you can’t force someone to suddenly go with you.”

He glared at me, “Takeda-kun, this doesn’t concern you.” he finally recognizes me.

“What’s happening? Where are you going?” Hana asked him.

“We’re leaving that scum’s house. I already have you things, let’s go.”

What? Isn’t this too much? Even for Hana.

“Please, let’s just leave. I already have a place.” her brother pleaded. His voice got softer, like he was about to break down in tears.

“What about dad? Mom asked us to look after him.”

“No, she asked you to look after him. And I can’t let that happen anymore.”

I know what they’re talking about. It’s about her family breaking apart. Hana told us her house situation after her mom died. She needed to get it off her chest, so she told us. That was the last time I ever saw her cry in front of me. That was the day she changed and resolve herself to be strong and not rely on others.

We tried helping her many times, but she refused and somehow, she fixed her family for a while.

“Tell me what happened?” Hana asked calmly.

“………. I’ve had enough. I’ve been avoiding my responsibility as an older brother to you for a long time now.”

“That’s not true. You’ve been supporting me whenever dad couldn’t.”

“No, I haven’t. The truth is, I’m already living another life that doesn’t involve you nor that bastard.”

“Don’t talk about my dad like that!” she slapped him.

His hands let go of her. I let go of his also.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding everything, but I don’t want to anymore. Come with me. Move in with me. You can live a much more peaceful life outside that house.”

She hesitantly replies, “What’s going to happen to dad?”

“……… I don’t know.”

“Then……… I can’t. Mom asked me to take care of him, even though that place doesn’t feel like home anymore, I still have that responsibility.”

“Please, I just want my sister to live happily.”

“……… I— I can’t leave him.”

He fell silent.

“I’m going to leave that house. Are you coming or not?” he got more assertive.

“……….. please, don’t go.”

“Are you coming or not?” he asked gently.

I saw her hands trembling and her face sad, “I’m……. I won’t.” she cracks a little.

Her brother was……... sad.

He left.

It was just us.

A minute or two passed by, I started to hear her crying. Her head was down, so couldn’t see her face. I could see her tears dropping to the floor.

Now I remember. I gave up on her because I didn’t want to complicate more of her life. I decided that I’m going to support her as the friend she’s always known. The friend that she can rely on and can support her.

She sniffs.

“Can I seat?” her voice cracked.

“Sure.”

She sat on the road and leaned on the wall. I sat right next to her.

She cried quietly. Even now, she’s still staying strong.

I put my arms around her and hug her. She leaned her whole weak body against mine.

She cried quietly.