Chapter 104

(Dec 1)

After getting far away from the chaos and village, we set up camp inside a forest.

Since we were swift in evacuation, we were able to escape with no casualties aside from some minor injuries, but the mood was grim.

The worse case scenario had literally just happened and meant that we were officially in conflict with the Kenava.

This was only going to be the start of a long and grueling battle.

I’ve never fought in a war firsthand myself, but as a soldier, I’ve witness numerous conflicts between opposing groups before, and things can get very ugly.

I can only imagine how brutal a war can be.

Most of us were tired, so the soldiers cooked some canned food and went off to rest for the night until it was their shift to keep watch.

Despite my fatigue, I don’t think I could fall asleep anyways, so I was watching the stars.

The night wind felt nice on my body, which was still burning up from the spice pills I ate to escape, causing me to feel like I had a severe fever.

It was around midnight when we heard a loud noise in the distance approaching.

I could sense who it was from afar, so I wasn’t concerned, but the soldiers weren’t sure who or what was approaching so everyone else was on guard.

The noise got closer and closer, until finally a familiar silhouette stepped into our camp allowing the campfire to illuminate the figure.

It was Briggs.

And he was dragging behind him a decapitated body of a wyvern.

His cloths must’ve been destroyed when he went full berserk, as he was completely nude.

He didn’t bother covering himself. He just waltzed through the camp, allowing his schlong to swing every time he took a step.

His shoulders were slumped, his eyes were dark and frowning, and he was slowly trudging his feet along the ground, looking as if he were exhausted.

I think this is the first time I’ve seen Briggs so tired and energyless, and it feels weird seeing him like this.

“Where’s my father?”

Briggs asked a random soldier in a commanding tone, causing the poor fella to get intimated and freeze up in front of nude Briggs.

Luckily for the soldier, Alisha popped out of nowhere, and pointed at the tent that the king was staying in.

Briggs just nodded, before tossing aside the wyvern he was dragging and then headed to meet with the king.

The soldiers were all confused, not knowing what the fuck just happened and what to do with the wyvern body.

Well, that wyvern body will probably be taken by William to be experimented on or something so it’s none of our concern.

Speaking of which, the Kenava have gotten quite dangerous haven’t they.

They have sent out multiple wyverns to attack now, who knows what else they have up their sleeves?

William told me that the Kenava were researching and trying to create dragons, and it seems they haven’t succeeded yet, but are getting close considering they already have wyverns.

They even managed to obtain dragon blood.

Yesterday was seriously dangerous, if I were a moment slower, Briggs could’ve been crippled from the dragon blood in the bullet.

I like being useful and strong and all, but knowing that the life of a prince is on my shoulders is quite the burden.

William told me this before, that I could be our kingdom’s trump card again the Kenava. With my powers, I can be the one to save many lives… but that puts a lot of pressure on me to grow stronger.

No ones ever had such high expectations of me. Heck, I don’t think anyone’s every expected anything from me at all.

So when I first heard William have such high hopes for me, despite being afraid, I felt proud. I felt like I could become something, but that was naive.

It isn’t that simple unfortunately.

I’ve gotten so much stronger, and yet why do I feel like I haven’t changed at all. Why do I suddenly feel like I don’t want to do this anymore.

Like, what am I even fighting for. Loyalty to this kingdom? A kingdom that I only joined less than a year ago? To save other people? I mean, yeah, I’d prefer if people didn’t die around me, but like, do I actually care that much?

Of course I want to continue growing stronger and help people when I can, but I don’t have any strong motivation or incentive to do so. Why am I trying so hard when I don’t know why I’m doing this.

Especially since the risk is so high, where any mistake could result in blood on my hands.

I don’t feel like I’m qualified for this anymore.

I’m not a hero.

When compared to someone like Briggs and his tremendous determination, it makes me question what the hell I’m even doing.

All I want is to simply live happily and safely with the people I care about… am I a hypocrite for thinking that way?

Fuck.

Things got depressing real quick…

…

..

.

Well, after a bit of thinking and self reflection, I feel better now.

I was feeling a little intoxicated on the gloomy and depressed mood from everyone else, so it must’ve affected me mentally causing me to have all kinds of depressing thoughts.

Recently, it feels like my mood and emotions have been a little weird lately, and I’m not sure why. It might have something to do with my dragon essence or the effects of the spice pills messing around with my brain or something.

I vaguely remember being lectured about chemicals in our brain that influence emotions, and maybe overdosing on spice pills is causing my brain to release weird chemicals that makes me overly excited at times or makes me depressed easily.

Who’d have thought that drugs would have an impact on my mental health.

To be fair though, mood swings aren’t uncommon. They’re a pretty normal to experience, I just need to make sure none of my emotions intensifies too much or else dragonification will happen.

So, after writing everything down, I feel fine now.

Writing in my journal is sort of like a therapy session for me since it requires me to think about myself and what happened and form it into words.

It’s similar to the self reflection thinking meditation that I’ve done, but with the extra step of writing everything down.

It allows to free all my thoughts and calms my emotions back to a neutral balance.

Total serenity of the mind.

Nirvana.

It feels like I’ve been enlightened again, almost like all my previous worries have mysteriously disappeared despite nothing changing.

Ya know, maybe getting depressed once in a while ain’t so bad.

If dealt with properly, it can help overcome negativity, and can make you feel much better than you were before.

Anyways, it is like 3am in the morning, so I think I should go to sleep for a couple hours before we head back to the city.

(Dec 2)

After returning to the city yesterday, we were instructed by our superior officers to not tell anyone, even family, about what happened during the meeting or else there’ll be consequences.

The city and higher ups know that the public will eventually find out about our conflict with the Kenava, but they want to control when and how the news will be revealed.

And I, as a loyal soldier, kind of don’t give a fuck about their orders. I told my wife anyways.

One, I highly doubt they’ll ever find out I told anyone, and two, even if they did find out, what’ll they do about it?

Arrest me?

Ha.

As if.

This city needs me more than I need it.

Plus, William would bail me out if that happened.

Anyways, I told the full story to my wife.

Everything, including Briggs, the conflict, and the impending threat of war.

Although I don’t like the idea of my wife fighting, she has the power of The Grinch.

I’ve seen her strength firsthand, if she can control it, even to a small extent, she could become someone who could greatly assist us in the future when we get into battles.

However, I want to prioritize her safety first before anything else.

Her safety, along with Gabi, is my top priority. Everything else is secondary.

There’s no point in trying to protect others if I don’t protect my own family first.

It’d be best if my wife got stronger so she can defend Gabi and herself in case I’m not present.

I don’t know how much time we have, but considering that war’s looming on the horizon, she’s going to need to get her powers under control quickly.

So, I suggested to her that we start training together tomorrow.

Since our powers share a lot of similarities, training together should be beneficial.

I’m usually always the one being taught, so not going to lie, I am excited being the teacher.

It’s going to be so fun!

A half dragon monster training with his half grinch monster wife!

Yay.