《Nandemonogatari: A New Story of Something Else》Chapter 27: Major Malfunctions

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A week from the trial, normalcy has returned to the Paranormal Club. The club, sans the suspended Cerys, have been summoned to the Principal’s office. The club chatters amongst themselves, Yuuri the only one with an anxious expression. She’d been watching Suzaka closely ever since the trial ended, caught every hidden wince and unsteady movement, like someone who is hiding an injury. Yuuri doesn’t want to give in to confirmation bias but she can tell something is wrong with the underclassman

“You think Roka’s going to tell us who we’re playing next?” Yuudai asks.

“Prob’ly,” Mari pants.

“I bet we’re in trouble again.” Saito snarks.

Yuuri looks confused, “What for? We’ve been good this past week, right? Cerys hasn’t even tried to break out.”

“Probably because we didn’t get in trouble last week so they’re trying to get ahead of us.”

Rina smirks, “You’re just being paranoid.”

Katsuki nods. “Yeah, with Cerys on her school-sponsored time off, we’re model students for the time being.”

The group arrives outside the office to find Lucy already waiting for them.

“Impressive,” she greets the Club, “Another three meetings or so and you might be on time for once.”

Yuuri sheepishly smiles, “I’ll get them to move faster next time, Ms. Usha.”

Lucy gives a slight nod and opens the door, “Roka is ready to see you.”

Roka smiles as the club enters. She’s standing by her desk in a black sundress and a large white sun hat.

“Glad you could make it!” Roka says, waving to everyone with her sun hat.

Mari squeals upon seeing Roka. Before she can make a move she feels a hand clamp down on her shoulder. Lucy appears next to her with a disapproving look and a shake of her head.

Kirie eyes Roka’s outfit, “Did you not get hot walking outside?”

Roka giggles as she places her hat on the desk and sits down, her head just peeking above the hat, “The heat doesn’t bother me that much, but anyway! You have a competition this weekend!”

“Who do we face this time?” asks Akina, taking it upon herself to move the conversation along.

Roka tries to look at Akina above the hat but fails. She bats her hat off the desk with the back of her hand, “You will be facing the Yosakoi Club this weekend! They’re ranked right above you.”

The mood quickly turns sour.

Concern clouds Yuuri’s face. “Will... Will Naomi be able to compete?”

“Unfortunately, that falls under the topic of competition participants. Which is something that we cannot give out prior to the match, as per school rules.” Lucy answers.

“Yep! Can’t tell you what kinda competition it will be either!” Roka adds in a sing-song tone.

“We’re still stuck in the ass-crack of dawn slot, aren’t we?” Rina groans as she crosses her arms.

Roka spins in her chair, “Oh, oh! That we can tell you! You guys will play at the 8 PM time slot this weekend! Consider yourselves lucky because we normally give that time slot to the elite teams.”

“That’s correct,” Lucy adds as she adjusts her glasses, “Your club’s surging popularity and ‘fresh’ new appeal has inspired us to flex the schedule. We will be testing the waters with a much larger audience.

Rina’s facade drops as her eyes widen, “P-P-Primetime!?”

Yuudai fist pumps, “Yes! I love night games!”

“Fresh, huh?” Mari says. “Good thing Ah remembered ta bathe today.”

Katsuki thinks, “If we’re not in the crap slot, then who got it?”

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Roka giggles. “There is no crap slot!”

“Roka!” Lucy raises her voice, “Language!”

Roka hangs her head, “Sorry...T-The only other match that day is Games versus Fashion in the afternoon.”

Kirika’s ears perk up, “Does this mean Tennis could get out of the Trash Tier if those delinquents at the Games Club lose?”

“Who cares!?” Rina says, “We’re in primetime! We got bigger things to prepare for!”

“I care,” Kirika stomps, “I won’t let you speak ill of Hana’s club! And my friends at the Fashion Club are involved, too!”

“Your friends are scrubs!” Rina says, pointing at Kirika.

“They’re better people than you!” Kirika says.

Rina’s hand crackles and sputters, eventually engulfing in fire, “If you like ‘em so much, I can send you to them, rocket-style.”

Saito chuckles. “Did you get that from a kid’s show?”

Mari growls at Rina.

Roka panics, “I-If you’re going to fight, don’t do it in my office! Shoo!”

Lucy keeps Mari restrained as she herds the club out of the office.

***

The Paranormal Club finds Cerys crossing out a day on a massive calendar she’s hung up in the main room. The rest of the club had done their best to make their new dorm more homey. They cleaned the place up, added strings of lights, and put posters all over the wall. Cerys’ posters radiate out from the calendar, encroaching on everyone else’s.

Cerys sits on the couch, listening to Yuuri and Katsuki break down their meeting with Roka as they continue adding more decorations to the main room. She sighs and lays back, “So, what now?”

Yuuri looks over, “What do you mean ‘what now’?”

“How are we going to figure out who plays and who doesn’t?”

“Oh,” Yuuri sighs with relief, “That’s what you meant.”

Cerys raises an eyebrow, “Did you think I was going to interrupt you with something completely random?”

“I…” Yuuri shakes her head. “No comment. To answer your question though, it seems like at most it would be seven of them versus twelve of us.”

Cerys sits up. “But we don’t know if Naomi will compete,” she says. “Besides, I’m sure I’m not allowed to compete yet.”

Saito walks in, bringing the girls another roll of tape, “Whatever it is, reserve me a spot on the bench.”

Rina snickers from the table, “Unless Little Miss Principal randomly decides you’re playing.”

Yuudai looks up from his homework, “Hey wait, doesn’t the Yosakoi Club have someone who can see into the future? Maybe she could tell us what we’re playing!”

“Didn’t someone suggest this last competition?” Katsuki asks.

Cerys raises her hand, “I did. She couldn’t correctly guess when Naomi was going to be attacked so I don’t think we should trust her power.”

Mari nods, “Divination’s always kinda shaky at tha best o’ taimes.”

Hotaru closes the Studex, “Given how the lineups were decided last time, it’s not the best idea to plan on lineups or anything. We should approach this as we did then.”

Kirika enters with Flopsy behind her. Flopsy’s carrying a large box in his arms

“I need some help with delivering some packages!” Kirika announces as Flopsy plops the box on the table.

Rina points at Flopsy. “Seems like you got good enough help there.”

“Flopsy has other tasks to do for me,” Kirika says. “Plus, there are more boxes outside”

Flopsy reaches into a screaming void and pulls out a still-wet paintbrush. He silently returns to Kirika’s room.

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“Did something just scream?” Yuudai asks.

“He’s still paintin’?” Suzaka asks.

Yuudai tilts his head in confusion. “Painting?”

“We better be able to sleep in there tonight!” Rina protests.

Kirika ignores her roommates, “Anyway! Would someone like to join me to deliver these packages to Han-I mean the Tennis Club?”

Mari walks over to Kirika. “Whatcha got fer ‘em?”

“Tennis balls!” Kirika opens the box to reveal it’s filled to the brim with loose tennis balls, each bearing the symbol of a bat.

“And tennis rackets, tennis clothes, tennis shoes, tennis watches…”

“Where’d ya get all this tennis stuff?” asks Mari.

“I had my people make for me! I’m signing the Tennis Club to be brand ambassadors for my new tennis brand!”

“What happened ta yer badminton brand?” Mari asks.

“Too much shuttlecock,” Kirika says.

“Did the Tennis Club agree to this?” says Rina, cutting in.

Kirika tilts her head, “Does it matter? Anyway, come pick something up and deliver it for me, the racquets are outside.”

“Huh!?” Rina stands up, “You got some nerve trying to order me around!”

Kirika pouts, “Oh Miss Sayamura!”

Yuuri shakes her head, “It would be a good way to try and get you two to bond more. Suzaka can join in too!”

Suzaka sighs, “But I ain’t much fer tennis. Or carryin’ boxes!”

“Screw that!” Rina shouts, “I’m not doing jack shit for her! End of story!”

Mari glares at Rina, “Yer gonna do what Yuuri says and Ah’m going with ta make sure yew don’t do anything stupid!”

Rina stares down Mari as she grabs the box, “Let’s just get this over with.”

***

The four girls make it to the tennis courts, despite Rina’s grumblings. They see a few members of the Tennis Club are currently practicing on the courts, Yuu has chosen to sleep on a bench instead. Kirika picks out Hana on a bench next to him, currently talking to Satou.

“Hana!” Kirika shouts as she runs over, taking care not to spill her box.

Rina rolls her eyes as she follows.

Hana waves at the group, “Heeey! I haven’t seen you in awhile!”

Kirika is dumbstruck by the blue haired girl before snapping back to reality, “Oh right! We don’t mean to bother you but I wanted to bring your club a whole bunch of tennis equipment!” She puts down her box carefully, before opening the box in Rina’s hands to show off her special tennis balls.

Hana takes a peak and laughs, “That’s fine! Numachi brought plenty of balls for us, and we all have our own equipment already!”

Kirika pouts, “But I had them all made up special for you…”

Satou raises an eyebrow, “What brought this on exactly?”

“Uhhhh.” The gears begin to turn in Kirika’s head.

Mari jumps in for her friend. “She brought them fer ya ‘cause she feels upset that y’all got relegated ta trash tier,”

“Y-Yes!” Kirika says, “Nobody should have to live in such squalor so I thought these would cheer the club up!”

Satou sighs, “We appreciate your gesture Kirika, but we’re busy right now with training.”

Hana smiles, “Thanks though!”

Rina drops the box, balls flying everywhere “They’re all yours now! Let’s get a move on!”

Kirika stomps. “Hey! Don’t treat my gift like some common rubbish! My balls should be treated with the utmost care!”

“Where y’ goin’?” Suzaka asks.

“Back to the dorm. My job is done.”

Before Rina even turns to leave, a shout rises from the courts. Looking toward that direction, the Paranormal Club members can spot Numachi sitting up and rubbing the back of her head.

Kirika points to Numachi. “Look at what you’ve done now, you brute!”

Numachi storms over, her tennis racket morphing into a giant net. Kirika points in Rina’s direction.

Rina stands her ground. “You snitch!” She hisses at Kirika.

Numachi smashes Rina with her racket, now a man-sized net. “Mind telling me why you decided to dump tennis balls all over our court!?” Numachi snarls.

Embers begin pouring off Rina and out of the net, “Either you let me go or you won’t have a tennis racquet anymore.”

“Actually, if you look into this box, there’s tennis racquets for everyo-” Kirika says, before Numachi removes the net from Rina.

“Now, like I said, I’m done here.” Rina turns to walk away and into an angry Mari.

“Answer. Tha question.”

“Or what? You’ll snitch to the President?”

“Ah’ll put yer head inta tha dirt,” Mari says. “An’ then snitch ta Yuuri.”

Rina sighs, then spins around quickly. “I was just asked to bring tennis balls over here as a gift from the princess!” she says through gritted teeth.

“Your damn gift almost knocked me out!” Numachi snaps, “What if I had actually gotten knocked out from that!?” Kirika’s ears drop upon hearing this.

“It ain’t my gift! It was-” Rina stops for a moment, then takes a breath. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. I would’ve felt bad if I had knocked you out.”

Numachi taps her racquet on Rina’s head, “Then think next time!”

Kirika giggles at Numachi taking Rina to task.

Rina snaps around to Kirika as Numachi returns to the court, “Something funny?”

“It’s just funny seeing you get a talking to from someone else, like you deserve, and seeing you have to apologise like a naughty child.” Kirika giggles harder.

“I’ve had enough of you!” Rina flares up and takes a step towards Kirika.

Mari and Suzaka jump into action, the former blocking Kirika while the latter gets behind Rina and wraps her arms around the girl’s waist.

“Hey, stoppit! Don’t be beatin’ up our club mates!” Suzaka clenches her hands together tight to help keep a hold of Rina.

Mari stomps, her patience exhausted. “Y’all are so childish!” Mari turns to Kirika, “Yew need ta learn to stop teasing her!” She turns back to Rina, “And yew need ta stop takin’ her bait!”

“How is it my fault that she gets herself into trouble again?” Kirika argues. “It is not like I made her injure poor Ms. Kuriyama, she’d cause bother for anyone if I ‘teased’ her or not!”

Rina only growls, struggling to get free of Suzaka.

“See?” Kirika says. “She’s a beast! You can’t blame me for her bestial instincts!”

“Rina! Yer better than this!” Suzaka grunts in pain as she tries to hold Rina back. Her arms start venting steam, the hissing mixing with her grunts.

“Let... Me... GO!!!” Rina uses all her might to try and free herself one more time.

Suzaka’s arms and legs lock up as more steam comes out of her. Her grunts turn to a loud, pained yelp, stopping Rina and grabbing the attention of the others.

Rina’s face shifts from rage to concern, twisting her head to try and get a view of Suzaka, “O-Oi! You okay?”

“Nnnnnnnnn.” Suzaka stutters, seizes, and goes silent.

“Hey! Let go of me!” Rina flails, Suzaka’s added weight makes both of them collapse backwards.

Mari runs over to the pair, looking at the situation in confusion. “What’s going on? Suzaka, let ‘er go!” She works with Rina to try and pry Suzaka’s hands open, causing creaking noises and yelps of pain.

“See what I mean? That girl is nothing but trouble!” Kirika tuts, “For shame.”

Mari glares at Kirika, “What did Ah just say?”

The Tennis Club runs over to look at the situation.

“What the hell are you guys doing?!” Numachi asks. “Satou, get the teacher!”

Satou runs over to the Tennis Club supervisor on the other side of the courts.

Rina finally frees herself and stands up. She immediately checks on Suzaka. “I dunno what happened! She got a little roughed up last week but she said she was fine!”

“She don’t look fine,” Mari says.

Hana panics, “W-What do we do?”

The Tennis Club supervisor rushes over with a first aid kit and a stretcher.

“Did she sprain anything?” He asks the Paranormal Club. “Help her onto the stretcher, we have to get her to the nurse as soon as we can. Does anyone have water?” His orders give the panicked students something to focus on.

“T-They were fighting and the-” Hana starts, still in shock.

Rina cuts in. “We weren’t fighting! We were just just having an argument and then...”

“She collapsed suddenly? Could be a heat stroke, then.” The teacher says, rolling Suzaka onto the stretcher. He touches Suzaka’s overheating arm and recoils. “She’s burning up, does she have a fire ability?”

“I don’t know! I don’t think she does?!” Rina looks over at Suzaka with concern. “She’s gonna be okay, right?”

The supervisor nods. “Either way we have to get her inside, Miss Okitsu will know what to do. C’mon, I need some help with this stretcher.” He prepares to pick her up.

“Heat stroke?” Kirika asks, giving Rina a knowing glance, “I wonder who-” She stops herself.

Rina, too concerned to pay attention to what Kirika was saying, takes her place up top, while Mari takes the rear.

“Kiricchi,” Mari says with a grunt. “Call Yuuri! Tell ‘er what happened!”

Kirika fumbles with her fancy phone.“R-Right!”

“One... Two... Up!” Rina and Mari pick up the stretcher with relative ease.

Hana pours her water bottle all over Suzaka’s face. Stray droplets of water sizzle on Suzaka’s arms. The supervisor gently pulls Hana aside to keep her from drowning Suzaka by mistake.

“Look, you’re new here,” Numachi says, “so I’ll show you how to get to Miss Okitsu.” She walks ahead of Rina and Mari, leading them forward.

“Hello, Yuuri?” Kirika says, hands shaking. “There’s been a terrible accident!”

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