After all these years,

I thought I've finally set myself free,

that these emotions have

already left my mind, but

she still trespasses when

it's dark;

when my heart, mind

and soul don't align

or see eye to eye.

3 AM is when she

creeps up on me and

drags me to the

darkest depths of

my psyche,

knowing that when

I come back from

my journey

I will need visine;

my room looking

like a crime scene.

All my inner demons

come out to play,

with these devilish

grins on their face.

I think I'm ready this time,

Knowing I am not

but I'm in too deep;

I've already discarded

the lock.

I finally give in

to my thoughts,

knowing they will

be the death of me,

the sheets begin to dampen,

as I plunge into the darkest

depths of the sea.

I gasp for air,

I peek, saying to myself,

"good, nobody is there."

I can't stay here much longer,

thinking maybe I should

call her,

but I swallow my pride

as my eyes begin to water.

My heart is unstable,

Rotten thoughts, enabled

my mind says this is just a fable,

but it was all too real.

Her hands encompass

my throat,

yet I won't interfere,

still holding onto

these feelings of despair,

the feelings that were

never there.

—

11/25/21

11:28 PM