Jealous.

I couldn't help but feel jealous as I watched Namjoon flirting with Daisy.

After all, Namjoon and I had something. Although we weren't dating, I still couldn't help but wish it was me he would act like the with.

Instead we're just friends with benefits and nothing more. He sees me as nothing more than a meaningless fuck when he's horny.

Of course it was my idea so I had no room to complain yet in this time, it was only making me feel things I knew would cause trouble in the end.

As I watched Namjoon and Daisy I realized they seemed to have a lot in common.

They also seemed to be getting along great. He would definitely want to be more with her then friends.

I had to be honest with myself that the reason this bothered me was because I was gaining feelings for Namjoon.

I knew I shouldn't but it couldn't be helped. I knew underneath this cold exterior he gave me that he was a really great person.

I knew he had a heart, I just needed to find it. I wanted to be the person he treated with such kindness and love.

Yet I knew it would never be possible.

"So Jin, have you found anyone you like yet?" Yoongi's girlfriend asked, smiling over in my direction.

I looked up, everyone's eyes landing on me. From the corner of my eye I could see Namjoon looking at me, his eyes sightly hard to read.

"Not really." I shrug, knowing I couldn't say anything. Not in front of everyone like this.

"Don't be shy, Who is he?" She asks, clearly having heard that I was gay from Yoongi.

"Really, there isn't anyone I like." I say, brushing it off with a chuckle. Jennie wasn't having that though.

"Tell us, I wanna know." She whines. I looked over at Tae and Jimin who were already looking at me, their faces amused.

Before I could speak, someone else did.

"Don't pressure him, Jennie. If he doesn't want to say who it is he doesn't have to. Maybe he really just doesn't like anyone." Namjoon says.

I pressed my lips together as I looked over at him, our eyes meeting. His eyes seemed dull.

"That's no fun. I want to know who he wants to fuck, gay stuff is hot." Jennie says and Yoongi scoffs as he makes a face at her.

"You can watch us!" Tae says and Yoongi looks over at him, shaking his head which led into another conversation.

I was grateful to get out of that one. As I looked over I saw Namjoon and Daisy talking once again.

As Namjoon smiles, his dimples denting his cheeks, my chest felt heavy.

I had to do something before this got bad. Before I fell and couldn't get up.

After we all ate Namjoon and I headed back to our dorm room. Luckily, he hadn't invited Daisy over.

As we got inside I watched as Namjoon walked over to his bed and sat down, reaching for his books.

"I have so much fucking homework." He groaned out, clearly not wanting it do any of it.

"Do you have classes tomorrow?" I ask as I sit down on the edge of my bed, looking over in Namjoon's direction.

"Sadly. I only have one though so it's not too bad." Namjoon says as he pulls out more of his supplies.

"I can help with your work, if you want." I say and Namjoon looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine.

"Why? I don't need help. Plus you never offer? What's gotten into you?" Namjoon asked.

A crush.

"Nothing has." I say, averting my eyes as I looked down at my shoes.

"I guess since we're friends with benefits we should have the benefits of being friends too. You can tell me if something is wrong, you know." Namjoon says.

I looked over, my eyes meeting Namjoon's. This was not like him, he was being nice to me...

"Maybe you're the one who's being odd. You're never nice to me." I say and Namjoon scoffs.

"I can be a dick sometimes, sorry about that. We're friends now, unless you don't want to be." Namjoon says.

"Of course I want to." Why. Why would I say that?

"Cool. So whats up, man?" Namjoon asked. Man. The straightest shit he could possibly say to me.

"Like I said, nothing is wrong." I say and Namjoon makes a face before standing up.

I watched as he walked over and sat down on my bed. Willingly.

His sudden closeness made me feel a bit nervous. I felt my mouth drying as his shoulder just barely touched me.

"Don't lie, Seokjin, I can see right through you." Namjoon said, his voice serious yet slightly mocking.

I looked over at Namjoon and just as I did, our eyes met. I felt shy in that moment as his eyes glistened back.

"I'm fine, really." I say and Namjoon studies my face for a second before he nods.

"Fine, well that's good then." Namjoon says but before anyone can say anything, his phone goes off.

As he pulled it up I caught a glimpse of the name "Daisy" on the screen. It was a text.

Namjoon looked down at the text then over at me. He didn't say anything as he stood up and walked back over to his bed.

I watched as he sat down, going to text back. I felt sad.

I moved back on my bed, sitting up straight against the headboard. There was only one way I could keep Namjoon's attention on me.

Sex.

Although I didn't want to resort to this I wanted to stop him from texting her back.

Selfishly, I couldn't let him end up with Daisy.

I bite my bottom lip as I let out a moan, fake of course. In an instant, Namjoon looked up.

"What are you doing?" Namjoon asked, his eyebrows raised, his phone resting in his hand.

"I'm horny." I say simply, locking eyes with Namjoon as I placed my hand right over my pants.

Namjoon's eyes trailed down as he saw where my hand was. Looking back up so our eyes met, Namjoon grinned, his phone dropping onto the bed.

Now I had him where I wanted him.

In me.

I ran my hand gently over Namjoon's bare back as he laid with his back turned to me.

He was sound asleep and I too felt exhausted but I couldn't bring myself to sleep.

When I woke up, we would go back to being just friends. Of course it's not like our friends with benefits would end when he woke but if he started dating Daisy, it definitely would.

I let out a breath as I looked down at Namjoon, my chest hurting slightly.

I knew this would end one way and one way only and I wasn't ready to get my heart crushed.

With every second I like Namjoon I fall deeper and deeper into the chances of being hurt.

I can't risk that pain, I have to do something. Either I make Namjoon want to date me or I have to move on...