《The Triplets' Guides (Reader Insert Version)》Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: Candy Monster

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That night, Dipper was sitting in the triplets' bedroom with a basket of rather peculiar chicken strips sitting in his lap.

"Well, that concludes Gravity Falls anomaly number thirteen" he was saying to the camera. "The mobius chicken strip."

He held up a chicken strip for the camera to see. It was strangely shaped like an infinity sign.

"It's infinitely delicious!"

He was about to shove the chicken strip into his mouth, when suddenly a portal device was thrown right past his face, colliding against the wall next to him.

A purple colored portal suddenly appeared right next to Dipper, sucking the chicken strip right out of his hand.

"Hey!"

Dipper turned around to find the other end of the portal, opening where (y/n) was sitting on her bed with her hands held out.

The chicken strip fell from the portal into her outstretched hands.

"Thanks, Dip!" she said cheerfully, before shoving it into her mouth.

Dipper frowned at her.

Suddenly, a creature bolted right past him, knocking the camera off its stand.

Dipper yelped in surprise.

"Whoa! Hey! What the?"

He picked the camera off of the ground, and ran over to his sisters.

"Guys, did you see that?" he asked urgently.

"What the heck was that thing?" exclaimed (y/n), hopping out of her bed and joining her brother in waking up Mabel.

"Mabel!" Dipper exclaimed, poking his sister in an attempt to wake her up.

"Never" Mabel said in her sleep, as she turned over in her bed. "Let me sleep forever."

"Mabel, wake up!" (y/n) shouted, shaking her sister.

Mabel refused to wake up.

"Some creature just jumped out of nowhere!" yelled Dipper. "It's eating our leftover Summerween candy!"

Mabel immediately sat up, wide awake as she wiped her eyes.

"What?!"

"Look!"

Dipper aimed the camera at the creature, which was hiding in a tire as it shoved candy into its mouth.

It was about the size of a basketball, with practically no hair except for the little hairs sticking out all over its body, sharp teeth, and red eyes looking in separate directions. It was crawling on four legs.

"Ew" said Mabel, as the weird creature crawled out of the tire and started to screech loudly. "It's like a...naked little man."

"Ok" said Dipper hurriedly, holding up a new sign to the camera. "This is now Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained number seventy six...uh, that thing."

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The monster scooped some more candy off of the ground, shoving it all into his mouth greedily, before catching sight of a green jack-o-melon shaped candy bag.

"No!" said (y/n) firmly to the monster. "Put that down right now."

In response to her command, the monster started to lick the side of the bag.

"Oh, gross!"

Dipper had finished getting himself geared for his own attack on the monster.

He had stuffed animals strapped to his chest, a bag full of golf clubs on his back, and a bucket in one hand.

"Is it on?" he asked (y/n), who was holding the camera.

(y/n) nodded, and held out a thumbs up.

"We're rolling."

"Ok, I've covered myself in armor" he said to the camera.

He grabbed one of the clubs out of his bag, and used it to squeak one of the stuffed animals on his shirt.

"I'm gonna capture it for science" he said.

"And for candy!" Mabel added.

"(y/n), get this on tape in case I die or whatever."

He narrowed his eyes, and started approaching the monster, raising the golf club even higher.

The creature backed up when he came closer, leaving a pile of candy on the ground.

Dipper used one of the golf clubs to rake the candy closer to himself, in an attempt to lure the monster closer to him.

The creature suddenly lunged for the candy.

Dipper lunged forward with the bucket, but missed the creature. It dodged out of the way, crawling up the wall and on the ceiling, with the bucket of candy in its jaws.

"Ah!" Mabel screamed. "Die, mutant, die!"

She threw a stuffed animal up at the ceiling, but she missed, and the plush hit her in the face instead.

(y/n) put the camera aside on a nearby table, took out her plasma blaster, and started to shoot beams of energy at the creature, blasting a new hole in the ceiling with each shot.

But the creature managed to dodge each one, and then scampered out of the attic and into the hall.

The triplets ran out of the room, going down the stairs as quickly as they could, chasing after the creature.

"SAVE THE CANDY!" screamed Mabel.

They managed to make it into the TV room, but it seemed like the creature had disappeared.

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"Where is it?" asked Dipper.

As if on cue, the creature suddenly leaped out of nowhere, landing on Dipper's face.

He screamed, and unable to see, he started to run wildly in every direction.

"Don't worry, Dipper, I'll save you!" (y/n) declared, holding up the plasma blaster and firing a single blast right at the creature on her brother's face.

A huge puff of smoke was sent up from the powerful blast, and when the dust finally settled, the creature was gone.

Dipper was now lying on the floor, his face blackened with ash from the blast.

(y/n) ran up to him with the camera in hand.

"Did I get him?"

But the creature had gotten away, and it was scrambling towards the kitchen right past them.

Dipper frowned up at her.

"You missed."

The monster was now sitting on top of the refrigerator, out of their reach.

(y/n) handed the camera to Mabel.

"Hold this" she said.

(y/n) then aimed her plasma blaster up at the creature.

"No!" exclaimed Dipper, immediately grabbing the blaster out of her hands and throwing it aside. "We are not using that again."

(y/n) instead wordlessly took out the tennis ball launcher, holding it out to Dipper for approval.

"That one's fine" he said, as the two of them turned towards the creature.

Dipper started to throw cans at it, and (y/n) was shooting tennis balls at it.

In response, the monster started to throw candy at them.

"Oh no! He's wasting candy!" yelled Mabel urgently. "Guys, open your mouths! Try to catch the candy in your mouth!"

Dipper turned towards her with a confused expression.

"No, why would I-"

A piece of candy was suddenly thrown into his mouth, interrupting Dipper.

He smiled.

"Actually, that was pretty good."

"You do realize you ate the wrapper too, right?" said (y/n).

Suddenly, a large chocolate bar was thrown into Dipper's face, knocking him backwards.

"Dipper!" (y/n) exclaimed, dropping her weapon and bending down to help her brother up.

Meanwhile, the creature was making a getaway, jumping off the top of the fridge and running back into the TV room.

"Oh no you don't!" said Mabel, as she started to run after it with the camera.

As the creature ran past the TV, however, it stepped on the remote control, turning on the television.

He seemed to be entranced by the TV, immediately dropping his candy and running up close to the screen, before walking backwards and sitting on the sofa.

"Look!" said Mabel, as she siblings entered the room. "He's hypnotized by the TV!"

"Great!" said (y/n). "Now let's catch him and get our candy back!"

"No need to. He already dropped the candy!" said Dipper triumphantly, as his own eyes wandered to the screen.

"Look at the little dummy...glued to the...to the..."

He suddenly started to get entranced to the TV himself.

"Oh, I love this movie."

A few minutes later, all three of the triplets were sitting on the sofa along with the monster. Dipper and Mabel were sitting in the chair, and (y/n) and the monster were each perched on one of its arms.

All four of them were absorbed in the movie.

The triplets were eating the candy from the basket, and the creature was eating one of Dipper's golf clubs.

"Shouldn't we take care of the monster?" asked Dipper.

"Shh!" (y/n) hissed. "You're ruining the best part!"

"Candy now. Monster later" Mabel stated.

The monster then finished eating the golf club, and started to whine.

In response, (y/n) took another golf club out of the bag, and the three of them passed the club down a line until it reached the monster, who shoved it into his mouth and started to chew on it.

Just then, Soos entered the room.

"Oh hey, Dipper. Hey, (y/n). Hey, Mabel" he greeted.

It was then that he noticed the hideous creature with red eyes, large teeth, and hairs sprouting all over its naked body sitting next to them.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan" he said to the creature.

"Well, I guess that's it for Dipper's guide to the supernatural" Dipper said to the camera. "The next episode will probably be about getting rid of this candy eating monster."

Soos looked around in a confused way about what Dipper's last statement, before leaning into the monster's ear.

"Psst, Stan" he whispered. "What's he talking about?"

______________________________

The next episode, "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: Giant Tooth" is currently scheduled for release 5/19/18 unless otherwise posted. Thank you for your loyalty to these guides!

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