Mabel was in the triplets' bedroom, wearing workout clothes consisting of a purple tank top, pink sports shorts, and a matching headband. There was also a whistle hung around her neck.

"And that concludes Mabel's guide to fitness" Mabel said to the camera. "With Waddles, the jog hog!"

She gestured towards a treadmill, where Waddles was running. He was wearing red shorts and a matching sweat band, and there was an ice cream sundae that had been conveniently placed right in front of him.

Mabel got on her knees next to her pet.

"You want that sundae?" she asked. "You've gotta jog for it, jog hog!"

She punched the ground fiercely, before reverting back to her old self.

"Look at his little shorts."

"Today, Mabel's guide to...dating!"

Mabel was now sitting at a table, with stuffed animals on either side of her. There was also a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, which were resting on the table.

"As we all know, I'm a dating expert" she said, as she reclined backward. "In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!"

Mabel was outside, holding a cardboard boy that she had drawn up to the window as she acted him out.

"Mabel, I love you so much, baby. Why won't you let me into your life?"

Mabel was back at the table, but this time, she was standing up as she pointed furiously at the window.

"You know what you did, Zach!" she yelled.

But it didn't take long for her to be back to her old self.

She turned towards the camera with her usual smile on her face.

"Today we're going to be testing the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls Swinging-est bachelors!"

Dipper, Soos, and Stan were sitting in chairs in the attic, with a cardboard sign labelled "Contestants" hanging over their heads.

Soos was grinning innocently.

Dipper had an uncomfortable expression on his face.

Stan was leaning back against his chair, looking rather disinterested.

"Soos!" Mabel announced.

Soos turned to his right.

"Get ready to fall in love, America!" he said, before finally realizing that something was off. "Am, am I looking at the right camera?"

"Dipper!" Mabel announced, not bothering to answer Soos's question.

Dipper gave her a questioning look.

"Who are you even making this for?"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel announced the last contestant.

Stan still looked bored.

"I'm only here because you promised bacon" he said.

Mabel tossed a piece of bacon to him, and Stan caught it in his mouth and started to chew happily.

"I'm pacified" he said, leaning back with a satisfied grin on his face.

Mabel turned towards the camera.

"They'll be competing for the beautiful bachelorette, (y/n)!"

(y/n) stepped into the camera's view, with a rather disapproving look on her face.

"How did I get myself into this?"

A few days ago, (y/n) was busy working on yet another invention at the table near the living room, when Mabel walked up to her.

"Hi, (y/n)!" she said, though (y/n) hadn't looked up. "I need a bachelorette for the contestants to compete for on my dating guide, and I signed you up for the job."

(y/n) froze, and the screwdriver that she had been holding slipped out of hands, making a loud clanging sound as it crashed against the floor.

Now Mabel had her full attention.

"You did what?!" she rounded on her, an expression of complete rage on her face.

"Now I know what you're thinking, there's no way on your life that you'd willingly let me do that."

"Took the words right out of my mouth" (y/n) said.

Mabel grinned widely.

"But look what I stumbled upon!"

She held up an old tape recorder, and pressed the play button to show her sister the video.

(y/n)'s eyes widened and she almost choked when she saw what it was.

In the video, (y/n) was three years old, wearing a yellow Princess Belle costume. Her hair was even styled like Belle's. With nothing to cover it up, the white streak was clearly visible.

Little (y/n) smiled at the camera, revealing several missing teeth, before singing the lyrics to her favorite song:

"Thewe's some-ting sweet and aw-most kind,

But he was mean and he was coawse and un-wefined!

And now he's deaw, and so I'm suwe

I don't know why I di'nt see it thewe befowe!"

Anyone else would have thought that it was adorable, but to (y/n), it was completely revolting.

She was speechless.

Mabel had a confident grin on her face.

"It would be a shame if I, I don't know, accidentally showed this to everyone in Gravity Falls. That is, of course, unless you wanna help me?"

Back in the present, (y/n) had her fists clenched up against her sides.

"I should have deleted that video when I had the chance" she muttered under her breath.

"But that's not all you're in for, folks!" Mabel announced to the camera. "We also have a surprise contestant today! Give it up, for Nathaniel!"

Suddenly, the attic door swung open, and standing behind it was none other than Nathaniel, his usual confident expression plastered across his face.

"I'm so honored to be competing for the lovely Miss (y/n)" he said, as he walked into the room and pulled up a fourth chair next to Soos.

Except for Mabel, none of them seemed to be very delighted at all about his surprise presence.

(y/n) was especially enraged.

"Mabel!" she exclaimed furiously. "What the heck is he doing here?"

Mabel ignored her, and turned the camera back to her.

"And now for a simple nine thousand question dating quiz!"

The four boys were now in the living room, all of them answering the questions on the six foot long quiz that Mabel had given each of them.

Stan was sitting in the sofa.

"Should men always pay for dinner?" he read aloud. "What is this, Russia?"

Soos was sitting on the steps at the entrance of the room.

"How many kids would you like to have?" he read aloud. "Seven, preferably. That's one to love, every day of the week."

Dipper was on the floor, kneeling on his quiz as he read the questions.

"How do you treat a gal?" he read aloud. "Well hovering nearby and laughing at everything she says, obviously."

He seemed pleased with his answer, and started to write that down.

"Nailing this..."

Nathaniel was sitting at the table.

"What would you do to show your love for a girl?" he read.

He grinned cockily and said aloud clearly for everyone to hear:

"I would buy her anything her heart desires."

He then shrugged and chuckled arrogantly.

"I mean, what's the point in having money if you're not going to spend it on the things you love?"

That statement earned glares from Stan, Dipper, and Soos.

Mabel then turned towards the camera.

"While they're busy working, we give you...animal dating!"

Mabel placed one toad in front of another. The toad she had put down turned around and was about to hop away, but Mabel caught it and pushed it up against the other frog.

Toad-ally dating!

Mabel was now in a tree sitting on a branch next to an owl. She reached into her backpack, took out a plastic owl, and placed it right next to the real owl, who tried to fly away with one look at it.

Unfortunately, Mabel managed to grab onto one of its legs, the poor owl flapping and screeching desperately to get away.

Hoot do you love?!

Mabel was now in the forest, and she stuck two acorn earrings into her ear lobes.

Two squirrels immediately crawled up her, and took the acorns out of her ears, before starting to scamper all over her.

Mabel screamed and started to run around wildly, trying to get the squirrels off of her.

Together Fur-ever!

Mabel was now back in the attic, and so was everyone else. Stan, Dipper, Soos, and Nathaniel were sitting in their respective chairs, and (y/n) was standing next to Mabel with a rather sullen expression on her face.

"You do realize I'm related to half of these people" said (y/n) grumpily.

Mabel ignored her, and directed her attention towards the first person, who happened to be Stan.

"Grunkle Stan" she said, reading the results on the paper. "On a score of 1-5, you scored a 3."

"Yes! Yes!" Stan cheered.

Datable.

"You're off to a great start, unless someone else scored higher" said Mabel. "This will also limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts."

Stan crossed his arms over his chest.

"I still consider this a victory."

Mabel then went down the line to the next person.

"Dipper" she said, as she looked down at her paper. "Your score is...yeesh!"

She turned towards her brother, forcing a smile onto her face.

"You know, scores don't really matter" she said, patting his knee in a comforting manner. "You should just focus on being you."

Questionable.

Mabel then made her way towards Soos.

"Soos" she said, reading her paper. "On a score of 1-5, you scored..."

She looked up in surprise.

"A 12?"

Soos smiled.

"My grandma was right all along" he said. "I am the world's most perfect man."

He held out his arms, and as a spotlight shone on him, three doves landed on him, one on each of his arms, and the third on his head.

Total Hunk!

Mabel then walked up to the last contestant.

"Nathaniel" she said, as she looked down at her papers. "Your score is..."

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"...another 12? I should really recheck this scoring system."

Nathaniel's eyes widened with a little bit a shock first, before his expression transitioned to one of utter triumph.

"What do you know? Money really can buy happiness!"

Mabel read his results out loud.

"You need someone who cares about you, as much as you care about them, and will allow you to be yourself, even if they don't understand you completely. You need someone you can trust, and who will never intentionally hurt you."

Nathaniel shrugged off the results as if he didn't really care.

"Eh, the details don't matter."

Secret Softie.

Mabel then turned towards her sister.

"Well, (y/n), it looks like you get to pick!"

(y/n) was outraged.

"What?! You're seriously making me to choose between a childish idiot who's older than me, and Soos?"

Nathaniel had a rather offended look on his face.

"I turned thirteen only a few months ago, darling. The age gap is nothing compared to the one between Corduroy and your brother."

Dipper started to blush madly.

"H-hey! Not cool, m-man!"

(y/n) turned towards Mabel.

"You know what, go ahead and show the entire town that video. In fact, show the whole world that video. See if I care!"

And with that, she stormed out the room, swinging the door open, before slamming it shut behind her.

Nathaniel had an intrigued expression on his face.

"What video?"

Mabel was back at the table with her stuffed animals again.

"Love is all around us" she said. "And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit...force it!"

She turned her head, and suddenly started screaming.

"Oh no, the squirrels, they're back!!!"

The squirrels scampered across the table, and pounced on Mabel, knocking her to the ground.

She quickly got up, grabbed the rhino stuffed animal, and started to use him to whack the squirrels.

"Save me, Mr. Rhino. Save me!!!!!"

_____________________________________________________

Coming up next: Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained

Coming soon: (y/n)'s Guides

The next episode, "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: Candy Monster," is currently scheduled for release 5/12/18 unless otherwise posted. Thank you for your patience!

Nathaniel's dating results by Personality Growth, under the INFJ profile