Lately, Ned Stark's team has been working on a secret mission. They are the FBI of Kingslanding, the Sherlock Holmes's of Westeros... They are everyone you've ever wanted to be.

Ned created 'Secret 🕵🏻🤐'

Ned added Varys, Petyr and Tyrion

Ned: SO GUYS, AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW; WE ARE TRYING TO FIND OUT IT JOFFREY IS INDEED AN INCESTUOUS CHILD OR NOT.

Tyrion: Could you please stop using CapsLock?

Ned: OH SORRY. is this better?

Varys: Much better

Ned: Where was I? Oh yes, we are trying to find out if Cersei and Jamie indeed had a son that turned out to be a total *sshole.

Petyr: Isn't Sansa in love with him?

Ned: Love, love... What is love? She's just a child. She probably thinks he is a loser as well, she's just to polite to admit it.

Petyr: Fair enough. She is a pretty lady, tho

Ned: Don't be shitty, Petyr. We all know you are a pedophile, you don't have to accentuate that.

Varys: Hearing Ned say the word 'shitty' is the weirdest thing I have ever came across in my entire life.

Ned: Please shut your shitty mouth, Varys.

Tyrion: savage af

Ned: Savage?! I am not a wildling!

Tyrion: 🙅🏼

Varys: Let's return to the actual topic, boys

Tyrion: Varys keepin' it real

Varys: Yes, I am the mature one

Ned: Well, has someone found any clues?

Tyrion: ...

Varys: ...

Petyr: ... I found a slice of pizza that kind of looked like him?

Ned: Great! Where is it?

Petyr: ... I believe I ate it ...

Varys: Idiot

Ned: Shitty idiot

Petyr: Sorry...

Tyrion: Where did you even find this slice of pizza? And why did it look like Joffrey?

Petyr: I don't know, man. It was all smashed up and gross and I immediately had to think of him.

Varys: I feel like I can relate to that .

Ned: I feel like we can ALL relate to that.

Tyrion: So, basically what everyone is trying to say is that we don't have any clues at all?

Varys: Yeah, that's basically it.

Ned: Well, that means we have failed and we have not completed our task, so- Oh wait, hang on.

Petyr: What is it?

Ned: I don't really know what just happened, but suddenly I find myself reading a book.

Tyrion: What? Are you messing with us? This is a serious matter!

Ned: No, no... It's a book that describes each and every Baratheon child.

Petyr: So?

Ned: Shall I send you a picture of it so you can see it for yourself?

Varys: Alright, but if this is a prank...

Ned: Tap to download image.

Varys: Ooooh, that explains a lot!

Tyrion: Wow, thanks random book full of answers!

Ned: We truly are a great team! We solved this case like a piece of cake!

Tyrion: But wait, who is Babe Baratheon?

Ned: I have no idea...