//Jimin//

Jimin's body automatically fell onto his bed, messing up the sheets.

He thought he was okay, but the memories of last autumn just flooded his mind, washed away the last bit of happiness he held in himself for this day.

It was like a never-ending cycle of bad things happening to him, getting hurt and not being able to make the correct decisions without hurting others.

-----------------------------

Jimin walked down the street, not able to stop his tears from falling down.

The autumn wind blew into his face; he pulled up the scarf around his neck to cover some of his face. It was dark, and he was almost invisible with his dark brown hair and his black coat.

His steps were quick, so nobody would notice or recognise him, Park Jimin.

As he passed through a dark alley, he almost bumped into a guy, a man in his 30s who stank from all the alcohol he poured down his throat. His eyes were bloodshot and red, and he stumbled from side to side, trying to balance his body and preventing it from falling down on the dusty street.

The man yelled "YAH, WATCH YOU WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU ASSHOLE!" at the poor boy.

Jimin's body tensed a bit and he nodded, not wanting any confrontation at the moment. "I-I'm sorry, Sir", he choked out, trying not to sound like he cried for the past 20 minutes.

"I HOPE YOU DO OR I PUNCH YOU, JERK!", the drunk man screamed again, making Jimin more and more uncomfortable. Jimin bowed quickly and walked away as fast as he could, his heart racing and his nose still stinging from the smell of alcohol.

He heard how the man vomited somewhere, the choking cough sounds making him even more nauseous than he was before.

After 10 more minutes of randomly walking around in the city, he sat down on a bench. He looked around and found himself in the park, a small café right around the corner.

Nobody was there.

Jimin let out a long, shaky sigh.

He wished he could think of something else, but his mind just replayed the scenes he had seen over and over again, without Jimin being able to do anything against it.

Jimin smiled and opened the door to the apartment. He had a date with his current girlfriend.

He was excited, yet happy. They haven't seen each other for a while now, being an idol definitely had its disadvantages.

Jimin had a world tour and his tight schedule didn't allow him to simply slack off to meet the girl he loved.

"It's been 84 years", he mumbled to himself, letting out a little chuckle.

His plan was to surprise his girlfriend, Seohyun.

He had prepared a box with chocolate and some flowers, both in his hand.

Jimin heard some weird sounds, but didn't think any further about it.

He walked on his tippy-toes as quietly as he could, peeking into every room and trying to find her.

The last one was the bedroom.

He suddenly heard a loud sound, a moan to be more exact.

Jimin, confused, walked to the room and right in this moment, he wished he just walked away.

Seohyun and another dude were making out, right in front of his eyes.

Jimin's eyes widened, the flowers fell to the floor with a soft sound, petals spreading in the floor. The chocolate box followed the roses.

Seohyun moaned in pleasure, her nails digging into the male's back.

"S-seohyun", Jimin asked, his voice low but still hearable. The girl looked up, her eyes widened and she stopped moving, making the boy stop, as well.

She pulled the blanket over herself protectively.

"Jimin, what are you doing here?", she said while trying to catch her breath.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?", he cried out in response.

The male turned around, covering his lower body part with the sheets.

"Well, she said she was single", he replied with such an ignorance in his voice that made Jimin's ears ring.

"Yeah, you never tell me how pretty I am. And we never did something together. It's like I don't know you, Jimin. You are so shy that I asked myself whether you could even look me in the eyes", she explained, trying to justify herself with all means.

Even if it meant to hurt him.

Jimin just stared at them, lips slightly parted, as if he wanted to say something.

But no words escaped from his lips.

After another moment of silence in which only the heavy breathing of the couple was filling the room, Jimin turned around on his heel and stormed away.

'Just away from here. From her.'

He thought to himself, slamming the door shut and running down the stairway hurriedly.

His hair fell into his face as his feet were almost trpping over the stairs and out of the building, in hopes of feeling better if he breathed in some fresh air and brought more physical distance between himself and his now ex-girlfriend.

Jimin felt something hot rolling down his cheeks, and the fact that his vision has become blurry had proven him that he indeed was crying.

In his mind, the boy has already thought of so many ways so numb his pain, but he would regret each of them the next morning. He felt like he was shot, right into his heart, by the woman he loved. And now the blood poured out of the wound even more painfully than Jimin could imagine it.

The suffocating feeling of not getting enough oxygen spread in his chest, but he didn't stop to regain a normal breathing pattern.

He started to run.

Just running away from her, running away from his responsibilities, and running away from himself.

----------------------------

Jimin lifted his head from his pillow, dark spots in the cloth showing where he had cried in silence.

He sighed, drying his face, and sat up, facing the ceiling.

-----

"Do you really believe your words? That you are a burden and annoying? Not lovable? Do you?"

"Don't ever think you are worthless."

"We're on a date, right? Then the guy has to pay."

"It was really nice today."

-----

Jimin chuckled, but he wasn't happy, or feeling like he could laugh right now.

It sounded more like a scream of despair, hidden in a hollow smile.

He said all those nice things.

He did exactly what Seohyun had criticised him for.

Telling the person her values.

Spending time together.

Looking into her eyes.

Not being shy, but opened and forward.

But in the end, this wasn't everything necessary to have a healthy relationship.

And that's what he realised, too.

Jimim dully mumbled some words and syllables to himself, letting his upper body weakly fall back onto the matress with a long sigh.