TW: PARENTAL FIGHTING (also longest chapter lol)

Jonah awoke, heart racing. He quickly sat up and looked around, unsure where the sudden rush of adrenaline came from. He quickly glanced at his alarm clock and realised that it was around 1 A.M. For some reason, he remembered the letter and something in his gut told him to read it. He quickly turned on his lamp and went over to his desk, grabbing the letter and opening it. Whatever he expected to be in the letter wasn't nearly close enough to reality. This wasn't a letter from the school. It was a handwritten letter, and he recognised the handwriting immediately. How could he not?

"Jonah, listen. It's me, Adam. I'm so fucking worried about you it's unreal, and I'm sending you this in secret so that I can contact you somehow. Listen, at around 1 A.M. I'll be at your window, I just need to know that you're safe. You can wave me off or whatever, just please let me know you're safe. I love you so much it's unreal and I miss you more than any words can describe.

-Your boyfriend, Adam."

Jonah's heart began to race. Adam really went out of his way to make sure he was okay, he even had a typed out letter hiding the handwritten one in case Jonah didn't get to the letter first. He kept reading the letter over and over and just praying he wasn't dreaming. A loud knock at his window took Jonah out of his thoughts and he ran over, mind racing. He quickly opened the window and looked down, almost letting out a cry of relief seeing Adam standing there, with what looked like a few small rocks in his hands. "Adam!" Adam waved at Jonah, and Jonah noticed that Adam had the ladder he'd used multiple times before. "Shit- Adam, hold on- set the ladder up and I'll be down there!" Adam gave a nod and propped the ladder against the spot he usually did, and Jonah looked around his room, specifically at the door. He peeked his head outside into the hallway, making sure he didn't wake up either of his parents. He closed his door and went back to the window, taking a deep breath and making sure the ladder was stable before climbing down. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he turned around and grabbed onto Adam with force he'd never used before. This didn't feel real, he never thought he'd see Adam again. He immediately burst into tears as Adam held him gently. "Jonah- holy shit you're okay- fuck I was so worried...I missed you so damn much..." Jonah couldn't even respond, all he could do was cry and tighten his grip on Adam, praying to God this was real. Adam ran his fingers through Jonah's hair to try and calm him down, and it seemed to work pretty well. Slowly Jonah's breathing began to calm down as he collected himself a bit more. "A-Adam I thought- fuck I- I thought I'd- I didn't think I'd see you again- oh God I hope this isn't a dream-" Adam hushed him and continued to hug him, never wanting to let go. "God, Jonah- what the fuck happened?! You just- you just left and I haven't heard from you- And is that my hoodie?"

Jonah finally pulled away quickly to explain. "So much- oh God too much happened- my dad heard what I said and he- he just- fuck- I'm so sorry- and yeah...yeah it is...I hope that's not a problem-"

"No, Jonah, don't apologise at all, please- oh God, what the fuck did he do to you?!"

Adam held Jonah's face in his hand, examining the small healing cuts and the bruises that Jonah had endured. For some reason, Jonah felt ashamed by them. He had no idea why, but he blamed himself for what had happened to him. That he should've defended himself better. But here he was, he'd never felt so weak but if anyone saw him like this he was glad it was Adam. "Shh, it's gonna be okay, Jo...you're gonna get through this, I'll be with you all the way. I promise." Adam pulled Jonah into a soft, yet passionate kiss, never forgetting how wonderful the feeling was. Emotions swirled through both of their minds. Adam felt so many things, mostly anger for what Mervin had done to Jonah, the love of his life, and relief knowing that he was alive. Jonah didn't even know what he was feeling, and soon enough he couldn't even stand up and fell on the dew-covered grass, and Adam quickly went down with him to make sure he was okay. He carefully used his thumb to wipe the tears from Jonah's eyes so he could at least see a bit better and carefully planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "Listen, Jonah, it's gonna be okay. Tell me what happened, I'm here for you. We can get through this." This made Jonah feel safe, something he hadn't felt in way too long. He leaned his head into Adam's palm, which made him feel warm on such a cold night. Adam gave him a soft smile, encouraging him to open up whenever he was comfortable doing some. God, this is why Adam was perfect.

"Well...my dad heard me tell you that I love you...and...well, you can guess what happened. I'm grounded completely, not even allowed to leave my room unsupervised. My mom has no idea what's been going on and I'm terrified. I haven't been able to eat or sleep properly. I've only slept for 4 hours since it happened and I haven't eaten at all. I'm so tired, man, I just want this to be over with..."

Adam pulled Jonah back into a hug, which Jonah immediately gave into. "Jonah...I know you don't want to hear this but you NEED to tell your mom. I know you're scared, even I'm a bit nervous but this is a risk you need to take. If anything goes wrong, then you can leave and you can come back to my house. I'll help you with any legalities. Please just tell her, I don't want you to get hurt again."

Jonah stayed silent, he honestly had been wanting to tell her for so damn long but he was terrified out of his MIND to say anything about what's been going on in case she didn't believe him, or sided with his dad. He never said anything in case he lost her love, but that was before this whole thing went down. Back then when he ONLY had her, when he thought Adam only saw him as a friend and didn't like him. But now...now he had Adam. He could lose her love, but at least now he'd still have someone, and that someone he wouldn't trade for the world. He could lose everything but he'd rather lose everything with Adam by his side now. They were all that each other needed at this point. They didn't need anyone or anything else. He couldn't stand to go through another day of this, this could make it worse but...now he wasn't scared. He knew he could get out of there if he needed to. Jonah tried to swallow the lump in his throat before finally answering.

"...I'll try. I'm...I'm not scared anymore...if I lose everything else, at least I know I'll always have you."

"Heh, that's a good mindset to have, because you will always have me. I'm proud of you, Jonah. But, it's past 1 A.M., you should probably go to bed since you haven't been sleeping."

"Well, I WAS asleep before you threw a fucking rock at my window-"

"Shit- yeah I was thinking about that but you never sleep before 1 A.M. usually so I took my chances."

"At least it woke me up considering I didn't sleep. Glad I read that letter when I did or else I probably would've started screaming."

"Pfft- yeah that sounds like something you'd do. But seriously man, go get some rest now. You'll need it. I don't wanna leave either but if anything goes wrong then you can leave as SOON as it does and I'll be waiting for you always with open arms."

"Thanks...thank you, Adam. God, I love you."

"Heh, I love you too, Jo."

Adam pulled Jonah into a kiss once more as a final goodbye, and Jonah climbed back up to his window, with Adam holding the ladder of course. He closed his window once more and turned off his light, nervous as ever. Lying down, he finally felt safe enough to sleep. For once, he was confident this would work out. Closing his eyes, he had some form of hope for the morning.

The clock read 3 P.M. Jonah had only woken up around 30 minutes ago, surprisingly. Normally he'd be woken up and yelled at for sleeping so late, but as far as he could recall, Adam was the only one who woke him up the whole night. Usually he'd get out of bed by now but he really didn't want to. His mind was racing and the anxiety was unbearable. He kept considering chickening out but he knew that he couldn't. If it goes wrong, I can always leave, and Adam will be by my side, he kept reminding himself. He sat up the moment he heard a knock at the door, but calmed down when he heard his mother's voice. "Come in." Delilah opened the door and waved slightly at Jonah. "Hey, Jonah, are you feeling any better today?"

"A bit...sorry I slept in so late."

"Hey, you must've needed it. Mind if I come in?"

"I...I don't mind."

She walked over and sat down next to Jonah, who she could tell looked nervous. "Jonah, can you tell me what's really wrong? You've been acting so off and I don't think it's just exhaustion. You know you can tell me anything, right? I know I may not understand everything since I'm not a teenager anymore, but I can try my best and I'll always love you, no matter what."

This was it, this was his chance, his chance to tell her everything. Before he could even get a word out, though, he just started crying. He had NEVER cried in front of her, and the shock on her face showed it. She wrapped her arms around him and tried her best to console him. "Oh, dear...what's going on? Please tell me, especially if there's anything I can do. I'll always believe you, I'll always love you. I want you to be safe, and you matter more to me than anyone else, even your father."

"...are...are you sure?"

"Hm?"

"Do you promise? That you'll still love me?"

"Oh, honey, of course I do. That's my job as a mother, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jonah stayed silent for a bit, honestly not sure where to start. What to even tell her. But Adam's words rang throughout his mind, and he knew he had to.

"I...I waited so long to say something but it's been years...I didn't want to ruin anything...but...it's...dad has...he's been...hitting me...he's been abusing me for years. Every day is something new...the cuts and bruises on my face are from him...because he found out something. And...God, I know this is a lot to take in but...mom, I'm gay. I'm...I'm also...genderfluid, is the word I think. I also have a boyfriend...and dad doesn't like that. He found out and he beat me bloody. There's still some dried blood on the floor. Everything hurts, he hates everything about me and keeps kicking me out of the house whenever you're not here. He even grounded me after he found out about my boyfriend. I tried to suck it up and deal with it but it just kept getting worse. He's been hitting me more than ever, he screams at me all the time and yells at me over every small thing. He bloodied my nose sometime in February over me not taking out the trash...I'm scared, mom. I know I'm not a little kid anymore but every time I fight back it gets worse. Every day I dread being home when you're not here because when you're not, he takes out any bit of anger he has on me. I don't know what to do anymore..."

For a moment, the look on Delilah's face said everything that words couldn't. Jonah couldn't tell if it was bad news for him or not, though. He just looked down at his floor, regretting everything he'd said. Suddenly, Delilah pulled him into an even tighter hug. "Oh my God...Jonah, why didn't you say something sooner?! I...I'm so sorry I didn't know, I'm sorry my absence worsened this. Jonah, look at me. I'd choose you, my own child, over him. And I will. I'm not gonna let this happen anymore. He won't hurt you ever again. His affect may stay with you forever but I won't let him do this anymore. I'll make sure of this. It's gonna be okay...and I still love you for who you are. No matter what. You're my child, nothing you could do could make me hate you. You are who you are, that won't change anything, and as long as he treats you well, that's all I want from any partner you have. If he treats you well then I welcome you both with open arms. I always will and if anything EVER happens then you can ALWAYS tell me. You're safe now, I won't let him set foot into this house ever again. I'd rather be a single mother raising a happy child than stand by and let you be abused. I'm so proud of you for telling me this."

Jonah couldn't stop himself from sobbing at those words. He'd been so scared all along to tell her anything, so scared she wouldn't believe him, wouldn't love him anymore, but he was wrong. And for once he was so happy he was wrong.

Waiting for his dad to come back home was terrifying. His mom was waiting out on the front porch, keeping her word that he would never set foot back into the house. Jonah was still upstairs in his room, but now that he knew he was safe, he'd snuck back into his parents room and "stolen" his phone back, as if he didn't already make most of the payments himself. It was dead thanks to not being charged at all. He waited anxiously for it to charge, eager to update Adam on EVERYTHING. He finally got some food in his system thanks to his mom making him eat so he wasn't tired anymore, and he was very hyper aware of everything going on around him. That's probably why he heard a car door shut from all the way in his room. He grabbed his phone off of its charger and left his room and stood at the top of the stairs, anxiously listening. At first he couldn't really hear much, though at the time he was also powering on his phone. Then he heard shouting which made his heart jump. Most of it was coming from his mom, though, something he'd NEVER heard her do. The most she ever raised her voice was that time Jonah ate a box of crayons as a kid, and it wasn't out of anger anyway. But this was different. She was loud and she sounded pissed. Anytime his dad talked she just cut him off, yelling at him and calling his reasoning "bullshit" in her words. In his whole 17 years of life, he'd never heard her swear, either. She wasn't holding back, though. After about 10 minutes of yelling, Jonah could hear her just screaming "GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PROPERTY AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY CHILD!" before he finally heard a car door, as he assumed his dad drove away. He went back to his room, with his phone finally on, and immediately opened his contacts. He pressed Adam's number and called, anxiously hoping that he'd answer.

"Jonah?"

"ADAM- Dude- holy fucking shit so much happened I-"

"Oh my God- shit dude you're okay-"

"Yeah- yeah I'm fine- oh my God dude I did it- I told her EVERYTHING, she just kicked my dad out of the house I think- I- I'm dizzy holy shit-"

"Jo, take a second to catch your brea- WAIT- you- you said she WHAT? Oh my God dude that's AMAZING news- Jo I'm so proud of you-"

Jonah fell backwards onto his bed trying to catch his breath as everything finally hit him fully. "Man I- I can't believe this- I even told her about us and- and she said as long as it's healthy that she's supportive I- man I've never felt so relieved- I'm finally safe-"

"God, Jonah, I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you, I love you so much, Jo."

"I love you too, Adam. Man, I just wanna hug you so bad right now-"

"That can be arranged-"

"Oh my Go- ADAM FRANCIS MURRAY I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"See ya in 20 minutes-"

""

The phone line went silent and Jonah just laughed his ass off at how impulsive Adam was. Did this mean that his mom was gonna meet his boyfriend? On the same day that he told her about him? He got off his bed and went to go find his mom, who he found in the dining room, smoking a cigarette and on her personal laptop. He really didn't wanna bother her, but she noticed him and signalled for him to sit down. "Just figured I should let you know, since the house is in my name and since you're old enough, you'll still be living with me, so don't worry about moving or switching schools alright?"

"Yeah...alright...uhm, you know about my boyfriend, right? Well- uhm, I tried to tell him not to but- he didn't listen and uhm- well he's on his way here...is that alright?"

"Hm? Oh, of course! I mean, I'd love to meet him, is it alright if I ask more about him?"

"O-Oh yeah, yeah. Well...it's Adam, actually. Do you remember him? My childhood friend? Yeah...well...we started dating in March...it was really sweet. We confessed at uhm...at that lake we used to go to when I was a kid."

"Awe, how sweet! I always thought that maybe there was something a little more between you two, but I never wanted to be like those parents who assumed. I'm glad that you found someone who you're close to, though! I have no doubts that he'll treat you well."

"Heh...thanks..."

"Also, I didn't feel like it was appropriate to ask at the time, but...what does genderfluid mean? I wanna be able to understand you better."

"O-Oh... well I- well, it's uh- it- it means uhm- basically, some days I feel like a boy, sometimes a girl, sometimes neither...i-it's okay if it's confusing to understand I-"

"No, not at all! So, some days, for example you'd prefer to be called 'she' or 'they?'"

"Yeah...yeah, that's a simplified way."

"Alright! I think I can get used to that. Is there a new name or anything you'd like?"

"Actually, I like my name...I guess it's mostly uhm- some days I'd prefer feminine pronouns or terms, but I still use my name."

"Well, thank you for telling me this. I'm glad I know you better!"

Jonah smiled at this, and Delilah returned a smile before turning back to her laptop. Jonah sat at the table for another few minutes waiting, until a knock finally broke the silence. Jonah rushed to open the door, and lit up as soon as he saw his boyfriend standing there, returning a stupidly adorable smile. Jonah grabbed him by the hand without even saying anything and led him inside, in view of his mother.

"Jonah what the- OH- uhm- hello, Mrs. Marshall-"

"Oh! You must be Adam, gosh I haven't seen you in years! You've certainly grown too! You sure take after your mother!"

Adam nudged Jonah nervously and whispered, "Did she just call me by my new name?"

"Yep, go along with it-"

"W-Well, thank you, ma'am- hah, yeah, when I look at pictures I see myself in her face..."

"Ah, Jonah, didn't you tell me that he was living on his own now? How's that going?"

"It's going pretty well, I finally got a job a few months ago so that's helping me get used to it."

"Ah, that's good! Well, I won't keep you hostage any longer, hah, you two have fun!"

"Alright, wanna head to my room? I'm too tired to go out anywhere."

"That's fine by me."

Jonah grabbed Adam's hand and led him up the stairs to his room. There, the two of them just laid down on Jonah's bed and talked, talked about everything happening recently as Adam ran his fingers through Jonah's hair, and Jonah held Adam close enough to his chest to hear his heartbeat. Jonah finally had gotten what he had been hoping for his whole life, and God it felt amazing. He had his amazing boyfriend, his childhood crush, his dad was finally gone, and his mom loved and accepted him. The feeling overwhelmed him as happy tears streamed down his face, which luckily Adam couldn't see. Everything around him surrounded him in comfort as he slowly drifted back off to sleep, despite not feeling tired earlier. But, he knew he was safe now. He was finally safe.

"We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we only have one."

-Confucius

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