TW: MENTIONS OF INJURIES AND UNDEREATING/DEHYDRATION, !!!JONAH USES THEY THEM EXCLUSIVELY IN THIS CHAPTER!!!

Jonah stared at the ceiling as his alarm rang, marking the time of 6 A.M. They hadn't slept all night, they couldn't even if they tried. The pain in their body never subsided, not enough to sleep, anyway. They had to be up early so they wouldn't be too tired when their mom got back, and to clean their room up one last time. There were still blood stains on the floor but they didn't care, they could just say they had a nosebleed. It wasn't like that was a lie. They didn't really wanna get up, they didn't even know if they could. Jonah's light had been on all night and their eyes hurt like crazy, they'd barely even blinked that whole time. After the 5th ring of the alarm clock, they finally got up and turned it off. Rubbing their eyes, they looked around the room groggily. They didn't even really feel tired, no more tired than usual, anyway. Sluggishly, they got out of bed and began tidying up. They'd completely forgotten that they still had Adam's hoodie on. Not even just any hoodie, but Adam's FAVOURITE hoodie. Jonah felt horrible that they couldn't give it back but honestly, they didn't have a choice. Maybe they could mail it to him? They'd have to think about that, but they didn't really care right now. It was the only thing they had going for them, wearing that hoodie. They picked up a few things quickly just to get it over with, but now they didn't know how else to spend their time. Their mom wouldn't be home until about 1pm, which gave them 7 hours to do whatever. Usually they'd spend this time with Adam, but now they couldn't. They could spend the next 7 hours crying, but where's the fun in that? They wanted to do something for Adam but they couldn't think of anything. They remembered the poem that they were working on for Adam, and that gave them a time passer. Since they planned multiple drafts for this so that it was perfect, maybe that would pass the time. Hopefully they could get it done before the exhaustion set in. They rushed to grab their pen and notebook, ideas flowing through their head. They flipped to the pages with the former draft and the unfinished second draft and began to write. They lost themselves in their own words and their own thoughts.

The clock read 1:13 P.M. and Jonah awaited anxiously for their mother's return. Their mother being home was one of the few times that meant they didn't have to face their father's wrath. Plus, they just missed her. They definitely preferred their mother, that's for sure. Though, they didn't know her opinions on...well, them being gay, having a boyfriend, and being a stoner. They hoped they could just pretend to be the happy little boy they always were whenever she was over, but usually she was only home for a day, now she'd be home for a whole week. Hopefully they could do it, though. Or else they could risk being disowned. At this point that wouldn't be too bad, but they'd rather not deal with that extra trauma. Jonah had dealt with enough, and they didn't wanna deal with anymore. They sat in the beanbag near their door, usually they waited in their living room but they weren't allowed to leave, so they sat in there. Maybe her trip would make them feel better, even if just for a little bit. The ring of the doorbell made them jump, and they rushed to leave their room and go see her. As they got down there, there she was. Their dad was already there, but as soon as she noticed Jonah she went over to them and hugged them. "Jonah! How have you been these past 6 months? You've grown so much! I see you've re-dyed your hair!" Jonah laughed awkwardly at that, moving their hair out of their face before responding. "Yeah...I did...I've missed you too, mom." Their mom gasped, causing their heart to drop as she held her hand up to their face. "What happened?! Are you okay, Jonah?!"

"He's fine, it was some kids from school he ran into."

She looked at Mervin, then back at Jonah, who nodded their head. She didn't look satisfied by this answer but she dropped it, after all if Jonah didn't wanna talk about it she wasn't gonna make them. She wrapped her arms around her child, just happy to see them. "Well, if you need it, your father is a lawyer!" Jonah and Mervin both laughed at this, and Jonah hoped they could hide the pain in their voice. She hugged them both once more before striking up a conversation with their father. Jonah took this opportunity to go back to their room, shutting the door and flopping back on their bed as tears brimmed their eyes. The pain knowing that their mother would never know the kind of person that their father was. The pain he caused them, the abuse and hatred would never be known. They couldn't risk it, their mother could hate them MORE than their dad for all Jonah knew. Plus, the guilt of ruining their marriage was so overwhelming. It was so fucking overwhelming and all Jonah wanted right now was to be with Adam. They just wanted to hold him close and cry. The emotions were too much and they just began holding their pillow to their face and sobbing. It was too much for them, their tears stung their face as they kept sobbing. Doubts flooded Jonah's mind. They didn't know how much longer they could put up with this. Every day it's gotten worse and worse and even a week break isn't gonna help anything anymore. Nothing besides him just leaving them alone would fix this. All they wanted was their dad gone and to have Adam by their side. Why, God, is that too much to ask? They cried for what felt like just a few minutes, but in reality it was about two hours. Jonah was pulled out of their fit by a knock on their door. Quickly, Jonah wiped their tears before shouting a choked-out "Come in!" The door opened, revealing their mom standing in the doorway. "Hey, Jonah, you okay?" Jonah sat up from their bed and nodded slowly, but their mother still made her way into the room and sat down on Jonah's bed. "You know you can tell me anything, right? You've been acting off lately and I'm worried. Is everything really alright?" Jonah looked down and for a second considered telling her everything. They just wanted it to end, man. Why was this so hard? Instead, they looked back at her awkwardly and laughed. "Haha, yeah...yeah I'm fine...just tired, honestly. I didn't sleep last night because I was excited, hah." She ran her fingers through their messy hair and laughed. They felt chills run down their spine, considering Adam was the only one who had done that in years. "Well then, if that's all I can get out of you then I'll have to believe you. Just know I'm here for you, I am your mother after all. You can talk to me about anything but I understand that I may not understand everything. You still want to go out to dinner with your father and I later this evening?" Jonah nodded a bit, the guilt painfully eating away at him. She got off the bed and left the room as Jonah laid back down, sobbing even harder. It hurt, it hurt so fucking bad but there was nothing else they could do. They just wanted to be held and comforted by Adam. That's all they wanted but nothing else could happen. They had no idea when or if they'd see Adam again. Their dad was probably gonna make them move schools over this and this freaked them out. Jonah's heart was pounding more and more as their head throbbed. They lied in bed for a few more hours until it was time to get ready for the dinner outing.

The car ride there was awkward to say the least. Jonah didn't say much, they didn't want to. What were they supposed to say? Delilah tried to strike up conversation with them several times but they didn't respond. They just looked out of the side window, which didn't help much because they got motion sickness easily, but it was whatever at the time. They didn't have an appetite anyway. Despite not eating for 2 days straight it didn't bother them. Sometimes it hurt if they weren't distracted enough but it didn't bother them most hours, like right now. Their main focus was to make it through the dinner with no problems. No fights, no drama, just get through this and go home and sleep. The restaurant appeared in the distance slowly and Jonah's stomach sank. All you have to do is make excuses, like an upset stomach, or say you ate earlier. You can do this.

Dinner was quite...well, quiet. No small talk, definitely no full conversations. Jonah swirled their straw around in their water, not really thirsty either. They couldn't remember the last time they'd drank something either, honestly. It didn't bother them enough to wanna do anything about it, however. Jonah's mother cleared her throat before speaking up, "Jonah, are you sure you don't want anything to eat? Is everything alright?" They looked up at her, meeting her concerned gaze and quickly looking away from guilt. "Yeah...yeah I'm good...just not feeling hungry, I kinda have a stomachache."

"Jonah Marshall, I know you haven't been eating much, just order something."

Mervin's voice made Jonah jump out of their skin, and made them feel even more sick. "I-I promise I'm alright, I can eat when we get home..." Mervin rolled his eyes and muttered something, causing Delilah to give him a glare before turning her attention back to Jonah. "Are you sure? If that's the case I can make you something, especially if you haven't been eating much."

"I promise I'll be fine, I can make myself something. Don't worry about me."

Delilah sighed in concern but decided not to push further. She knew Jonah was stubborn, they got that from her; or at least, she was stubborn at their age. Jonah continued to swirl the straw around until Mervin nudged them, indicating for them to just drink the damn thing. As tears clouded their vision briefly they took a sip, just wishing the night would be over. It felt like years that they were stuck in that restaurant. They grew more and more as the minutes passed, staring at their watch and hoping they could just go. Finally, at around 10 P.M. or so, their parents finally began to get up, which almost made Jonah jump from joy. They were so anxious to get home it was almost unreal. Never before have they wanted to go home, especially this badly. The car ride home was more quiet now but in a relaxing way. All Jonah wanted was to get some sleep, they didn't even wanna eat before they slept. They were so tired, so fucking tired. They could barely even hold their eyes open during the ride back.

As soon as they got home they headed straight to their room and flopped on their bed, obviously not bothering to turn the light on. All they bothered to do was remove their shoes, they were too tired to do anything else. Before they could fall asleep, however, their mother knocked on the open door softly. "Hey, you got a letter from your school. Is this about the tutoring you signed up for?"

"Mhm, probably, can you leave it on my dresser?"

"Of course, honey. You get some rest now, alright? Sleep well."

"Thanks..."

Their mom placed the letter on their dresser and closed their door, and Jonah rolled over onto their back. They didn't pay the letter much attention, it was probably a sign up sheet to do tutoring again next school year. Whatever, they'd read it when they woke up. For now their eyes closed as their consciousness faded, until they finally fell asleep.

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