If she could find a man who could feel and laugh as well as desire, she might even think about thinking about marriage.

It's not meeting new people but the car ride that makes me nervous.

I've never liked being in cars much because of my tics, I'll smack windows, grab the wheel and the few times I've had to drive- -I do have my license- -it was completely nerve wracking.

Jasper seems nervous too.

That, I can't figure out.

All I know is that the more nervous he gets the more my brain searches for reasons to be nervous and it comes up with this: It was probably annoying that I tic when I'm flirting with him and then tic when I'm kissing him.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a virgin but the people who I have been with have found it weird that even when I'm intimate, the tics don't stop.

I can't stop them.

Some people just don't understand that.

None of my relationships have gotten serious for this reason -I've gotten too much, too weird, to be anyone's boyfriends.

Guys are, mostly, dumb.

And I say that knowing I am one.

We park at a relatively spacious and empty bus stop, save for the five people grouped together.

"Hey, Jitterbug," I say, turning to meet his eye. "I don't think you know how to count."

"Uh, why?"

"You said three," Motioning to his family, I growl. "That's five."

"Oh! But only three are my siblings," Jasper smiles sheepishly. "I misunderstood the question, sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." I grumble. "Who are the other two?"

"Viv's older brothers, our families are really close. Damien is the one holding hands with Nyx and Axel was the one getting shoved by Dela-" Jasper yelps as his door is pulled open and he's pulled out just as harshly, one of the other two- -Axel I think it is- -spinning him around.

I take a moment to fully comprehend what just happened before noticing the way Jasper's hands are clutching onto Axel's shoulders and something he said makes the other boy giggle.

The anger in me that I haven't been able to release yet comes back but I stop myself from saying anything as I climb out, putting the car keys in my pocket.

"Aw, Jazz!" The man coos, causing me to instantly start glaring at him. "Look at you! Cutie, did you grow?"

Cutie?

What the fuck.

My jaw clenches, the dirty look I'm shooting Axel only grows.

"Get off, you mongrel," The musician's words are muffled as the boy holds him rather tightly. "Axel!"

"What?" Axel laughs out, hand coming up to hold his face with a heavy hand, one that makes my fists clenched in my pockets. "I haven't seen you in a couple months, I'm allowed to be happy to see you! Besides, I gotta see how college has been treating you. You're a fucking genius but you're also the most densest person I know."

If he doesn't let go like Jasper said, I'm definitely hurting him.

"That's not fair!" Before I can, Jasper pulls himself out of Axel's grasp. "I'm smart, yes, but not a genius. You can't expect me to just not get stuck in my head."

His face is red.

Not from a flush but from Axel's hand.

Is he trying to piss me off?

Trying to get my anger- -or more accurately, my possessive protectiveness- -under control, I miss the first few things his sisters say to him that makes Jasper chase them down and throw all three of his sisters over his shoulder and if that wasn't enough, he grabs Axel by the hips and tosses him on his shoulder too.

It's playful, I know that.

Doesn't make them touching any better in my opinion.

Of all the toxic traits to inherit, it had to be this?

You know what, it's better than a cocaine addiction.

Suddenly, and without warning, Jasper is setting his family flying to their feet and trips over Axel.

"You fucker." Jasper snaps, struggling against Axel when the other just as tall man hugs their bodies closer. "Axel, c'mon, I was gonna introduce you to Cas!"

I step closer, really about to pull the other man away from my man when the clumsy giant is pushed stumbling into my arms.

Catching him, I continue to glare at Axel who sends me a shit-eating grin over Jasper's shoulder.

"Oh!" The sounding all too surprised man exclaims. "Cas the butterfly!"

What the fuck is a butterfly -I keep hearing that.

By now I know they're not talking about the insect.

Axel winks at me, making my glare turn into a snarl. He knows exactly what he's doing to me and the fucker enjoys that -all while Jasper stays oblivious as ever.

If I didn't have to deal with my own siblings and their bullshit, my tics would be crazy right now.

Sadly but thankfully, that's not the case.

"Cas, this is Nyx." Jasper points to his sister covered in tattoos and piercings. "That's Eris."

Then the one who is nearly identical to Nyx but looks too innocent to actually be that way, like Circe.

"That's Dela," He points to his twin, her having grass stains on her pants and messy hair. "The dude who pulled me out of my car isn't worth mentioning but I will anyway, Axel D'Silvetta. He's Damien's and Viv's older brother," Jasper points to Damien "He's almost exactly like Viv but more cuddly. And the one attached to Nyx is Damien."

Axel winks at him and shoots me a smug look when Jasper ignores it and turns to the last guy.

I don't think 'cuddly' is the right word.

Finally Jasper motions to me, hand lightly squeezing my bicep. "And everyone else, this is Cas. We share a dorm."

Man, what an introduction, I think sarcastically.

"They already moved in together," Dela snickers, causing Nyx to laugh too.

Eris shakes her head as she asks, "How do you guys like living together?"

"It's awesome!" Jasper's flushed grin is undeniable. "He's super easy to live with and he's really nice. Oh! I was stupid today-" He shows them his bandaged hand. "-and he helped me so that's good too."

They'll definitely notice something is up between us if this big goof keeps acting like an excited puppy when his owner comes home.

I don't mind that, even if there's not an 'us' yet.

But Jasper might not want them to know that, he's just a bit...excitedly oblivious.

"And he also doesn't mind my music or, um, what's the word? My excitability. Right, that. Or, I don't think he does. He has good taste in movies too! We watch them together. Oh, tonight, right. What are we doing? I forgot, well, not completely forgot but forgot enough to not remember what the plan was."

Here I am, not even knowing there was a plan at all.

This is all surprising to me, so at least I'm not alone.

Axel snickers, "He sounds a lot nicer than he looks."

"Maybe I'd be nicer if-" I cut myself off, my glare doubling as I realize due to the growing grin on Axel's face that he just wanted a reaction from me. Clenching my jaw, I cross my arms over my chest, facing the ground.

Confused, Jasper glances down at me. "Are you okay?" I just nod, not meeting his eyes as me and Axel continue to glare at one another -me with a frown on my lips and him with a half-smirk. "Um, normally okay people don't, um, do t-that..."

I frown more, Jasper only pulling me closer to his chest.

"Is it my fault?"

Axel interrupts us by saying, "Nah, it's mine."

Without me being able to say anything, not that I'm exactly jumping at the chance to talk at the moment, Jasper straightens his spine and tucks me into his chest.

I can't tell what expression he has on but whatever it is makes his sister's laughter stop and for Axel to raise his hands defensively. "Sorry, Cutie." Axel says, glancing between us. "I was just testing the little butterfly."

Which one is better, me being annoyed at being called little or so very confused by being called a butterfly? I'll tell you what isn't better -experiencing both at once.

"Fuck you." Jasper growls, a slight and all too attractive accent flooding his voice. I squeak, then hold a hand over my mouth so his siblings won't hear it.

Then of all things, the musician's hand is tightening on my hip, putting me flush against his side.

Of all the times to want a kiss.

"If you're just going to upset him then you can take your own dumbass back to the fucking bus and go bother people besides my-"

"Jazz," Nyx interrupts, amused. "Gotta remember that we'd pull this shit anyway. Better since Axel is more mellow than us, right?"

More mellow but twice as touchy.

And takes to giving me a smug smirky look as soon as Jasper's attention is caught again.

The giant starts to complain about Axel, which I don't mind at all, and how he doesn't know what he did but then the conversation that started out in English with a single Spanish insult turns to one in Italian.

My cute roommate has an accent when he's mad.

He can speak Italian.

What the fuck can't he do? Besides walk in a straight line without falling, that is.

Okay well damn, I'm going to enjoy this while I can because I don't think I'm good enough for him.

"English, guys, you're confusing the butterfly." It's Eris who says this and I'm thankful for it.

But still hella confused about the butterfly.

"Sorry," Jasper wraps both arms around me, making my eyes widen as he cuddles his cheek into the top of my head. "Don't do it again, okay? I don't like when he's upset."

Then he should tell Axel to fuck off until he actually does.

Or at least let me make it clear that he is mine.

"Fine, fine," Axel sighs, still smirking as he opens his arms. "Forgiveness hug?"

Forgiveness punch in the face?

Jasper, much to my satisfaction, says, "Forgiveness hug a cactus.

At which point all of his siblings sigh and say, "Ah, a cactus."

What the honest fuck is going on here?

"So," Nyx says, turning her sharp mint colored eyes to me. "Butterfly."

Sighing, I grumble, "What's a butterfly?" but apparently, none of them catch that.

"How strong are you?"

Confusion but mostly intrigue changes my thoughts from murderous to semi violent and I'm able to reply. "Is it measurable?"

"Well," Eris takes over the conversation, smiling. "Some people can pick up puppies but some strong motherfuckers can pick up Jasper. You're kinda...lean."

Do they all have to point that out?

"How do you want me to answer?" I ask them, still confused. "I can't describe it-" I growl. "-the right way."

Even in my head, there's time I can't piece words together.

I just hope that even if they notice the way I'm acting, the odd sounds and tics, they don't ask me "What's wrong with you?"

Nyx shrugs, "Well, can you pick up Jasper, or even Axel?"

Like hell I'm touching Axel.

Turning to look up at Jasper, annoyance flashes through me as I see that I didn't notice him and Axel strike up a conversation again. But as soon as my head tilts up at him and my finger tugs on the collar of his shirt I catch his attention.

Like always, he gives me it undivided -even with his family here.

"Jasper?" I say. "Stand straight."

He does as asked without questioning why, spine straightening from where his body cuddled and bent slightly over mine.

Oh shit, I forgot how tall he is.

Good thing he's built the same as Atlas and Adonis, otherwise I'd never have the stamina or strength to lift him.

Dunking slightly, I wrap my arms around the top of his thighs and lift him straight in the air over my shoulder.

Jasper squeaks, shouting "What the hell!" as his fingers grip my hair and his other arm wraps around the back of my head. "Oh m-my god, what? Why? You're-- you're picking me up!"

I laugh, shrugging. "They asked me how strong I was."

Bending at the knees, I slowly put him back down on the ground where he stumbles a few steps, mouth gaping and looking a bit like a giant dog after they've been picked up -confused, kinda scared that they just were floating in the air, but still cute.

"I won't-" I growl. "-pick you up again." Smirking, knowing that's not true, as I'm definitely going to do that at least one more time especially if I can surprise him while kissing, I watch as he flushes. "Don't look so scared."

Excitedly, Eris claps her hands and bounces excitedly on the back of her heels. "Do that again! I have got to get the look on his face on camera."

Catching the way Jasper winces I cross my arms and say, "No."

Axel nods almost sympathetically, "Did you just break yourself?"

Then he pats my shoulder.

Snapping my hand out, I grab the junction of his wrist and hand, making him shriek as he's sent sprawling to the ground -and will be lucky if he doesn't have a sprained wrist.

"No touching."

"Okay, damn!" Axel shouts, scrambling away from me to hide behind Dela. "No touching."

I'll be the first one to admit, that did help my anger just a little.

"Does that go for all of us?" Dela asks, raising her hand.

Nodding, I catch both Damien rolling his eyes like 'that won't be a problem' and Jasper deflating, pouting again.

"Not you, Jitterbug." Pulling him towards me by the front of his shirt, I lightly touch his bottom lip with my thumb -it's just enough pressure- -or I'm just close enough- -to get him to flush.

Happy with the response I got from that, and happy that he knows now I still want him to touch me, I drop my hands and step away from him.

I doubt he'd want me to kiss him in front of his entire family, even if the people in my family are shameless and kiss in public longer than they should, Jasper is shy and nervous.

PDA doesn't seem like it's his forte.

That and teasing him is very, very fun.

"Question," Dela raises her hand, kicking a soccer ball- -where the fuck did that come from?- -around her feet. "Is jitterbug a nickname or are you, like, insulting him in a playful way?"

"Do you know what 'jitterbug' means?" I reply, knowing you can really only use that as a nickname unless you're trying really hard to be mean -which clearly, I wasn't.

Dela blushes, making a small face. "Uh, no."

"Nickname," Jasper says, not leaving his twin hanging. "It's a nickname."

He's pouting even more now.

Him doing that really does make me feel like I just have to drop all the questions and do anything he'd ask. And fuck me, because that stupid pout just makes me want to kiss him even more than I previously did.

Can't I go a day without this desire?

Or is that impossible around him?

He really puts my self control to the test.

Especially because he very obliviously leaves me alone with Axel as he talks to Nyx- -Damien is in the front seat, having silently taken the keys from me and is planning to drive and his other two sister have already driven off on their motorcycle- -because she, like me, hates being in cars.

"So..." Axel trails off, rocking back and forth on his ankles. "Isn't he a good kisser?"

I don't want to know how he knows that.

Glaring at him, my fists clenching in my pockets. "Fuck off."

The idiot continues to grin, leaning closer to me as he takes his attention off of me to look at what's mine.

"No but seriously though, dude is hot." He pauses. "Agreed?"

Snarling, I shove him away from me. "Don't talk about him."

By the time Axel is standing again, Jasper's already in the car on the left side, leaning against the door.

With one glance at a still somehow smug Axel, I make a split second decision to climb across the backseat and sit in his lap.

Putting one arm around his neck, my other clenches on my thigh, too high strung to be needing to claim Jasper as mine without being able to properly do so.

"Move your legs towards the middle." I tell him, already able to tell that if he stayed in the same position, he'd cramp up.

Jasper does so without questioning me, arms wrapping around my waist to press me closer to his chest.

This is an old car, the only seatbelts are the one in the front where Nyx and Damien are, so even if we were pulled over we couldn't get a ticket for not wearing one.

Besides, I'd much rather have Jasper's thick arms around me than a flimsy seatbelt.

Axel scoffs as he gets in the car, eyeing us before chuckling and smacking the back of Nyx's seat. "Hey, dipshit you-"

Before he could finish the sentence, Damian turns and sharply pushes his brother back into the seat with a heavy hand on his face, pulling away disgusted as Axel licks his hand.

Still, it did its job and Axel is now silently dancing along to music from earbuds he had in his pocket, leaning back with eyes close.

Nyx and Damien are silent, hands holding tightly to each other between their seats.

I find myself turning and gently clipping Jasper's jaw up, making sure none of the previous redness is still present from where Axel grabbed him. There's none I found before the musician blushed too much for me to really see if he's still hurt at all.

Sighing, I shake my head at him before leaning in -thumb running along his chin as I kiss him gently.

If he already got sore today by someone squishing his face, I'm not going to add to that.

Even if I do want to kiss him so hard both our lips are bruised.

"Next time someone-" I growl. "-gets that close to you, just punch them or something."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asks, leaning in for another kiss but I avoid the motion by blocking his lips with my finger.

"I mean that you," Now is when I follow through with the kiss, strictly to prove my point. "Aren't anyone else's to get that close to. Just me."

The musician gulps, biting his lip. "Just you?"

"How dense are you?" Rolling my eyes, I pat his chest teasingly before doing a quick switch and daringly grip the hem of his sweatpants. "You're mine. I don't...people aren't stupid. They can tell. And when people ignore that..."

Tilting his head at me Jasper pouts yet again, probably confused. "How do they ignore that? How can they tell that?"

I motion to Axel, "He flirts with you. Playfully or not, meaning it or not. Doesn't matter."

Jasper bursts out laughing, "What? No he doesn't. Axel's just... Axel? Anything he says is just completely full of shit."

"Full of-" I growl, shoulders tensing. "-shit or not. He's still doing it."

Minty eyes blink at me, either just realizing what I'm sayin is the truth or still not believing it. "He's not interested in me."

"Good." I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

Nothing more is said.

But Jasper does smile.