A/N: Hey, I hope everyone's having a great day and you're all doing swell as hell. I just finished with this and I hope you guys like it! I chose Glue Myself Shut by Noah Kahan, it's probably my favorite song out of his new album and you should give it a listen.

It took ten minutes of crying and five more of standing in the cold, considering walking home before Logan took out his phone and dialed Oliver's number.

"Hey, Logan, what up?" He smiled a little just hearing his voice He sniffled quietly and tried to figure out what he wanted to say.

"Um..I just..I'm at the park, the uh.." He looked over at the welcome sign. "Rosewater park, c-can you come pick me up?"

"Yeah, sure, absolutely..can you wait like- 10 minutes?" Oliver asked and Logan nodded before he realized Oliver couldn't hear him nod.

"Yeah." He said quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"No.." Logan said quietly.

"What happened?"

"I-It's a long story, I'll tell you when you get here."

"Alright, hold tight, I'll see you in a bit, bear." He said and Logan smiled, sniffling quietly.

"Okay, Oli." He said, hanging up and then putting his phone in his pocket, pulling his sleeves over his hands, shivering slightly, staring up at the stars to distract himself. It was cold enough to be snowing, actually, it was supposed to snow later, but it wasn't for sure, the weather had said 70% chance, so maybe.

It only took Oliver five minutes to get there. When his car pulled into the parking lot, Logan smiled, walking over to it, still sniffling, but mostly finished crying. He opened the door and got in, strapping his seatbelt and curling up a bit, shivering.

"Why are you out here alone? it's almost 10:00." Oliver said, looking at Logan. His tone wasn't harsh, it was mostly concern with a hint of sternness that reminded Logan of his dad and it made him smile a little.

"Um..I-I broke up with Sy." He said quietly and Oliver looked confused.

"And you walked here?"

"And we were having a date here but..he..got mad and left."

"Wait, he fucking left you here? That absolute dumbass peice of shit." Oliver growled and clenched his jaw. Logan looked over at him and shook his head.

"It..It was my fault, I really hurt him and I messed everything up, he has a right to be mad at me." He said, tearing up again and Oliver sighed softly, putting his arm around Logan and pulling him closer before kissing the top of his head.

"How about I get you home and you can tell me about it when we get there." Oliver said softly, pulling away to look at him and Logan nodded a little, wiping at his eyes. It was then that he noticed that Oliver was dressed just slightly nicer than usual. He had a new leather jacket, a clean, unripped light green t-shirt and jeans with intentional rips in them that looked at least slightly new, it also looked like he'd put a tiny bit of gel in his hair, it was a bit messy, but in a meaningful way, it was a stylistic choice.

"Were you going somewhere before I called?" Logan asked softly and Oliver shrugged with a little smile, pulling out of the parking lot.

"I was kind of on a date, but it's fine." Oliver said and Logan's eyes widened.

"I interrupted your date? Oh my god, I..I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no, don't apologize, it wasn't going that well anyways. I mean, I would have fucked him I guess, he was cute and all, but he didn't really have much personality, all he wanted to talk about was his dog, or his ex boyfriend, or his amount of likes on instagram and the weather, who goes on a date and talks about the weather? I'd much rather be hanging out with you." Oliver said, nudging his friend and Logan smiled.

"Who goes on a date and talks about their ex boyfriend?"

"Right? Apparently, his ex was this super hunky model type dude from the all boys prep school. I think he was trying to make the point that he only dates hot guys, so I'm a hot guy, which you know I just can't disagree with," He gave Logan a cocky grin. "But it was still pretty weird anyways." Oliver said and Logan laughed softly.

"Maybe he wanted you to be jealous or something."

"Probably, but I don't think I want to be with someone like that anyways. Like, sure, getting jealous is a natural impulse, but why would you purposely make someone jealous?" Oliver asked and Logan shrugged.

"I dunno, it's kinda weird, but I know girls do it when they want their boyfriends to pay attention to them."

"Why don't they just ask them to hang out with them? They don't have to go flirting with other guys to express that they want to feel cared about. Just sounds a bit unhealthy if you ask me." Oliver said and Logan nodded a little.

It wasn't long before they were pulling into Logan's driveway and Logan unlocked the front door, letting Oliver inside. He walked into the kitchen to start the teapot, then looking to Oliver.

"Oh..do you want any?" He asked and Oliver shook his head a bit.

"Nah, it's alright, I'll just have a glass of water if that's fine."

"Yeah, that's okay."

Logan's hands weren't shaking anymore, but he still felt guilty and mad at himself for hurting his friend. He hadn't been trying to hurt Syrus, but he knew he should have considered his feelings more, he should have considered any of it more. He stood at the stove, waiting for the water to boil. He knew he didn't have anyone to blame but himself for this, for ruining Sy's trust in him and probably ruining their friendship. All he could think about was how disgusted Syrus looked. What the hell were you thinkingfuckingidiotslutbitchwhore.

"Hey, do you want to talk about it? Whatever happened earlier?" Oliver asked softly and Logan realized that he'd been staring at the hot stove beneath the kettle, his fingers inching toward it. When he looked to Oliver, he stuffed his hand in his pocket.

"I don't know, it's a long story and you probably have to get home soon." Logan said and Oliver shook his head.

"I've got time, it's fine. I haven't got work tonight so I'll probably just be staying up reading or watching tv." He said and Logan bit his lip, thinking about it for a minute before nodding.

"Okay." He said, taking off the kettle as it was starting to screech and pouring the boiling water into a mug, setting a teabag in and walking to the table to sit down with Oliver.

Logan sat for a long time, holding his mug and barely even glancing at Oliver. He didn't know how to start or what to say, he didn't want to lie or make Oliver think it was Sy's fault, he just wanted to tell the truth, he just couldn't seem to open his mouth and push the words out. He took a sip of his tea, then playing with his thin fingers and taking a breath.

"I really messed up." He said quietly. "And you're gonna hate me for all of it, but it's my fault, and you have to promise me that you won't hurt Sy or be mad at him because I'm the one who was wrong, okay? If you're going to beat anyone up, it should be me, because I was the one who lied and hurt him." Logan said and Oliver looked at him for a moment before shaking his head.

"Logan, I'm not going to beat you up, why would I do that?"

"Because you beat up Jace after he hurt someone and I hurt someone now too so it would be reasonable." Logan said quietly.

"Logan, Jace didn't hurt someone, he hurt you and I shouldn't have beat him up anyway, it was impulsive and I was mad, but I wouldn't hurt you." Oliver said softly and Logan took another breath. "Just tell me what happened, alright?"

"I didn't like him, I mean, he's my friend, or, he was- but I just wanted to be friends with him, but then he said he liked me and he kissed me and I kissed him back and then he asked me out and I...I should have said no, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him mad at me and..and I was trying to get over someone so I figured if I just dated him then everything would be fixed, but it wasn't, and then I just let it keep going because I thought maybe he'd get bored of me at some point and break up with me, but he didn't." Logan sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek. "I just let him think that I liked him the whole time and I just let him be like, a distraction, because I figured if I was dating him then I couldn't like anyone else and it worked for a little while, and then it stopped working and..and I just felt more and more guilty for keeping it going when I knew I didn't like him, but I couldn't stop and I didn't know how to tell him any of it." He wiped a tear away from his eye. "I knew I was using him, and I knew it was wrong, but I..I don't even know what I was thinking, I just ruined everything, he'll probably never want to be friends with me again and it's all my fault. I told him everything and he got really mad and told me to find another way home.." Logan said and Oliver sighed softly, wiping the tears off of his friend's cheeks.

"Bear..hey, at least you were honest with him and didn't let it go on longer than this, alright? It would be a million times worse if he heard it from someone else, at least with you telling him yourself and owning up to it, you have a chance at being friends again." Oliver said, taking Logan's hand comfortingly. "Everybody has made a few bad mistakes, everybody has really fucked up or hurt someone at least once, you can't ever be perfect, but you can learn from past mistakes and apologize and do your best to not repeat them." Oliver said softly. "If it makes you feel better, we can ditch tomorrow and go hiking." Oliver said with a small smile and Logan gave the tiniest smile back.

"I can't, I feel like that'd make me too much of a victim, I don't wanna skip school for feeling guily over something I did wrong. Maybe tomorrow he won't be so mad at me and I'll be able to apologize to him properly." Logan said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "Thanks for driving me home, though, and talking." Logan said and Oliver smiled, ruffling his hair.

"You offered me a home when I was sleeping in my car, it's the least I can do."

"How are you doing lately? Living with Judas and all."

"It's good, actually. We're both working to pay the rent and it's a little small, but you know, it's not the worst. If we get too low on funds, Judas said we could apply for food stamps, but he doesn't want to if we don't have to and we're fine right now."

"If you ever need help, I'm sure-"

"Logan, you know I can't lean on you and your dads for everything." Oliver said, his voice soft with a hint of frustration. Logan nodded a little.

"I know, I just..I just don't want you living worrying that you won't have enough money to eat." Logan said softly and Oliver sighed.

"How about I promise that if I ever really need food, I'll ask to borrow some?" Oliver said and Logan nodded again.

"Also, can we start hanging out again?" Logan asked and Oliver smiled.

"Of course we can."

Logan finished his tea and it was almost midnight when Oliver went home. He knew he liked Oliver, but it didn't feel right to tell him yet, not right after getting out of a relationship with Sy. He didn't want to mess up another relationship, and maybe it was better to just stay friends for the moment anyways.

He walked up to his room and took a shower, jotting down numbers into his jounal and then laying in bed, trying to go to sleep despite the sharp pain that still lingered on his arms. He wanted to change, but he didn't want anyone to fix him, the problem was, he didn't know how to fix himself either. Sometimes he just wished he could be a different person entirely.