I peered at myself in the school bathroom mirror, turning my face left to right. 

I'd been blessed with a clear skin. My hair comb, shower, toothbrush, deodorant and I were well acquainted, which already put me a step above many other guys. 

Despite what some classmates said about me when they weren't busy ignoring me, I had never considered myself an ugly guy. 

It wasn't actually my looks they disliked. Ugly was just an easy insult when you don't like someone and your friends don't either. Or when they don't adhere to your standards of wearing brand clothing, don't get a cool hairdo, don't visit the gym. 

I checked all the boxes of 'what not to do' and still Asa was hitting on me. 

There was no way that hadn't been clear, hard flirting. Even I couldn't deny it. 

Like I needed more sheer exhilaration and confusion added tonight. Hey, if you win this video game thing, Rolf is off your back and Asa possibly wants to get on your back. No pressure though. 

Christ. What had I gotten myself into?

After a few deep breaths, I splashed some water in my face and exited the bathroom. 

I found Asa waiting for me near the entrance inside the crowded cafeteria, now accompanied by a broadly smiling Timothy.

"Asa!" he called out, though he didn't seem to dare to pat Asa's back or put an arm around him like he always did with me. "I didn't know you played video games!" 

"I don't," was Asa's deadpan answer. 

Timothy's smile fell. He let out a nervous chuckle, and I was glad I wasn't the only one psyched out by Asa's utterly unimpressed stare. 

Timothy quickly turned to me. "Oh, okay. And you? You liked games, right?" 

"Uhm, yeah." I cleared my throat. "Actually, I was hoping I could still enter the Double Singularity tournament today. I know I'm late, but is that possible?"

Playing on my laptop was far from ideal, the graphics looked awful on low res, but there was no way I was risking hauling my game computer to the school cafeteria. It was staying safely behind closed doors, away from soda, crumbs, and vandals. 

"Of course it's possible! No problem!" Timothy waved away my concerns. "We'll get you in there."

Timothy hurried over to a row of gamers already seated at the cafeteria table. Rolf was one of them, and my stomach dropped when Timothy, out of all people, came to a halt next to him and tapped his shoulder. 

"Yep?" Rolf asked, taking his headphones off, looking up at Timothy. 

"Can you enter one extra guy in the tournament? Gabriel wants to join." Timothy pointed at me, and my shoulders automatically drew up, like that would help make me more invisible. 

Rolf turned back to his screen, not even sparing me a glance. "No," he bluntly stated. "He's too late. Entry's closed." 

"But you can just manually adjust the schedule," Timothy argued. "It's not that fixed, is it?" 

I appreciated Timothy's tenaciousness and him being one of the few teachers who stuck up for me, but I wished he shut up. 

Because he was making a scene, the people surrounding him started involving themselves, too. That was never in my advantage. 

"No, that's not fair," one of Rolf's friends complained. "We all had to sign up before Monday. You can't show up in a few minutes before and expect the rules to change for you."

" Gabriel was on the list!" Landon shouted from the other table, earning him some glares. "I added him myself. Why isn't he on there anymore?"

He was lying. Landon knew full well that I'd kicked myself off the list. This was turning into a mess. I didn't want a mess. I just wanted a spot in the competition like everyone else, but it didn't seem like that would happen. 

I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem if Vicky had asked to join last minute. Or even Camilla. 

"I don't know why he's not on the list, but he's not," Rolf lied curtly. "So no entry."

"That's bullshit!" Landon protested.

"Oh, shut up pizza face," Vicky sneered.

Two camps were forming right in front of me. On the one side, there was Landon and Timothy. On the other, everyone else in the entire school. 

No, wait, I'd spoken too soon. 

The Asa factor hadn't been added to the equation yet, and he was finally moving from his spot at the entrance, making his way to Rolf's table. 

If Asa did this, there was no way Rolf would leave me alone, was there? Things would get even worse. The fear suddenly struck me. Getting humiliated by Asa hadn't stopped Rolf from slashing my tire. Maybe knowing his secrets was enough and Asa actually had my back without money, too. Maybe he didn't. He was too unstable, and I wasn't sure about anything. 

"It's okay, honestly," I blurted, drawing all the attention to myself. I felt heat rushing to my face. My heart pounded. "You're right. I was late. I'll, uh, just join some other time."

"Well, okay, Gabriel," Timothy gave in, shooting my an apologetic look. "Sorry." 

I didn't reply. I kept my eyes on the ground, picking up my laptop bag and hurrying outside of the cafeteria. 

I knew I hadn't come for nothing. I could always just play normally with Landon outside of the mini-tournament. I could still make it work and show everyone I was good. Rationally speaking I knew, but any determination and confidence I'd had crumbled. 

In the heat of the moment, I chickened out. I always chickened out. There was no way I'd fight the school system or all my classmates except Landon and maybe Asa. It was better to keep my head down and wait until I could leave this hellhole school.

I kept walking, deciding to take a seat in front of the building outside. The cool evening air on my face calmed me down. I sprawled myself out on the cold bench, and stared up at the dark sky. 

I didn't move when I felt someone taking a seat next to me, somehow already knowing it was Asa. I knew because my chest fluttered. Besides, the other options were Landon or Timothy and they would've both announced their presence with a lot of noise.

Maybe Asa was going to make me walk home, because I hadn't taken Rolf down a notch like he wanted me to do. That'd be the perfect ending of a shitty day. 

I took a deep breath. "Sorry for wasting your time," I muttered. 

"They would've let you join," Asa said. 

Yeah, because Asa would threaten them into it. I squeezed my eyes shut, sighing. "I know. But I'm not used to competitions anyway. I would've blown it."

Aside from anonymously rising on the ladder online, I didn't like competitions, either. Was it weird to be, somewhere deep inside, disappointed at not being able to compete when I'd pumped myself up for it? It wasn't just because I'd promised my parents and myself I'd get Rolf to stop bothering me. Prevent the phone call to Rolf's parents. Then there was missing my shot with Asa's promise that brought on a whole new wave of conflicted disappointment, mostly in my lower body.

Asa shifted. "You can get used to competitions. I'd know." 

My eyes shot open wide. I turned my head and stared at Asa, who had his hands in his pockets and was looking up at the sky. 

"I-I thought we were pretending I didn't know anything about you." 

Asa shrugged. "That's dumb. Because you do."

"Well..." I swallowed. "If we're not pretending: why did you quit doing these mathlete things? You were good at them, or so Cindy said."

"I got a job."

And what a job. One that seemed to have given him a ticket straight to the shrink's office, maybe even break with his parents. 

"So, you could do it again now," I said. 

"No. That's over." 

Asa's answers weren't long. But, he hadn't dodged or failed to reply to a single one of my questions. I bit my lip. I'd failed on taking a chance before. I decided to take this chance now. 

"Then why are you telling me not to hide?" 

Asa looked at me, and I looked away. I still felt his gaze burning on me. "Because you can do better than accepting people treating you like trash."

Yes, but why me?

I didn't dare to say that out loud. 

"I don't care that I can do better," I said. "I just want to play games, be the best, and have fun. I don't have that ambition to have everyone think I'm great and show off."

"Exactly why you should be on a stage, rather than guys like Rolf," Asa replied. He paused. "Or guys like me." 

"Well, too bad." I chuckled, looking down at my hands. "I'm not a winner tonight." 

I got up. I was still silently debating whether I should ask Asa to drive me home, but before I could open my mouth Asa had grabbed my arm and yanked on it. I landed on my ass with a surprised gasp next to him.

His hand slid to my shoulder, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

"Forget that," Asa breathed. "I only said if you win because it was a sure thing." 

"Oh," I brought out stupidly, jolting when his fingers brushed against my jaw.

"I see you watching me," he repeated his words from before. "Do you want it, or not?"

I stared into his eyes, shocked into silence. Conflicted. Turned on. Utterly unable to say no when his thumb softly brushed against my bottom lip next.

I nodded. 

Asa took me from the bench in front of the school building to his car. Away from prying eyes. Despite being in the car, I still heard video game sound effects from outside— they had really cranked up the volume. 

The noise drowned out when Asa brought his face so close to mine and stole my first kiss, and my first deeper kiss. Then, he was the first guy to put his hands on my ass. 

I could hardly believe it, because I was exactly like the guys I dissed - mine was like a piece of extra leg. There wasn't much to hold onto. 

I could hardly believe this was happening at all. 

Asa softly kissed my neck. I would've been embarrassed at my own hard breathing and the way my head tilted to the side automatically, but I had lost all ability to think.

All I could do was go along with what was happening, sinking deeper and deeper into our kiss when Asa pressed his lips to mine again.