The day I got back to camp, I ran to Nico.

I told him everything. He held onto me as I cried hot, burning tears.

But that wasn't the worst part. They're holding a funeral.

I should be happy. I'm alive, am I not? I have Nico, don't I? I still have Home.

"You look like someone just ran you over," Nico said, stepping into our cabin. "Actually, you look worse."

I let out a sigh, one depressing note singing low in the air.

"I feel like someone ripped my organs out with a machete," I replied blandly. "I don't want to move."

Nico smiled slightly as he sat down at the edge of my bunk. It creaked as he sat. "You're so depressing," he said. He shoved my leg out of his way. "Get up, we're gonna pay our respects."

I shifted my body so I faced the other way. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to do anything.

I wish Percy were here. He'd make me smile. Heck, he'd make me laugh. I miss his laugh so much. Gods, anything is better than this.

Nico shoved my shoulder. "C'mon," he whispered. "I know how you feel. Please get up, Y/N."

I just want to lie here to die.

"I know you feel like it's the end of the world," Nico said. "And that you feel like there's no more happiness, no more light.

"I know what it's like for your best friend in the entire world to die. But sometimes it's just easier to move on."

I didn't want to move, but somehow Nico managed to pull me up. We stood by my bunk, looking at each other straight in the eye.

"I know you're seeing black and white," he mumbled. "So I'll paint you a clear blue sky, okay?"

"It's raining," I whispered. I collapsed onto his bony body. "There's nothing but clouds above my head."

Anything is better than this.

Nico pulled me to the door, opening it so that only a little bit of sunlight shone on us.

"Ready?" he asked.

How am I supposed to live when he's dead?

I shook my head no.

We went outside.

The funeral was the most depressing thing I've ever experienced.

Percy's picture was propped up against a tree as Chiron and Mr. D spoke of his valiant tributes.

"Percy Jackson was a hero," Chiron began, "but also a friend, a companion, a leader. He had saved the world multiple times, all crucial to the future of our world."

I tuned out the rest of his speech. It was too much.

Gods, I miss him. I miss him so much. Just staring at his face in a frame brought this pit of emptiness in my stomach.

I wish Percy wasn't just a frozen picture. I wish he could say something -- anything. I wish we could be back to hating each other rather than not having one of us here while the other lives in Elysium. I wish we could share one more kiss, one more hug.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"He was not just a boy within our ranks," Mr. D said. His voice quivered. I didn't even realize he could feel emotion. "He was the best dang demigod I've ever met."

Oh gods I can't breath.

I watched as a blurry figure -- Nico -- walked up to the tree. He stood right next to Chiron and delivered a speech.

Is he crying?

Nico cleared his throat. He was clearly uncomfortable, yet he spoke anyways.

"Percy Jackson," he started, "has been my idol ever since the day we met. He was my hero, but along with that, my first friend at Camp Half-Blood.

"I used to be such an annoying kid, you know. Constantly talking, always jumping around. Gods, I was a geek. But Percy -- Percy still smiled. I knew he got tired of me, yet he stayed anyways. He was my best friend."

I looked down at my worn shoes. Percy used to tie them for me when I didn't realize they were undone. Everything's connected to him.

Or maybe I just find comfort in everything Percy.

"He was a hero," Nico said. He was on the verge of crying, but I didn't look up to see. I didn't want to see. "Percy Jackson was the greatest hero in the whole damned world. And although he didn't deserve to die, I believe that what he did was right.

"He showed us that you don't have to be born special to mean something. He told us that we can create our own futures, our own destinies.

"He showed us a blank page. He showed us possibility."

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.

"And even more importantly, he showed us love."

That's when I lost it.

Please come back, Percy. Bug me. Tickle me. Do something. Please talk to me. I want to hear your lovely voice again.

I want to kiss the drool on your chin when you wake up. I want to be laying next to you in the morning, feeling safe in your arms. I want to sneak over at night just so we could be together for a few hours.

I want to argue with you. I want to fight you. I want you to beat me until I'm a bloody, black and blue sack. I want you to bully me.

I want you to come back. Anything is better than this.

I looked up. My vision was blurry from tears that remained in my eyes and refused to slight down my face. Nico had left, leaving an empty space.

No one got up. No one would stand by that podium and speak of Percy. Maybe they were all mourning, or shy. Maybe they were waiting.

I stood up and walked to the vacant spot.

I can't breath I can't breath I can't breath.

Each step of the way was a bomb ticking on a battleground. A war that was going on, but could never cease. A tie. Percy's picture stared at me, giving me shivers. It was like he was still here. Get out of the frame, I urged. Stand next to me! Put your arms around me!

I cleared my throat. The missiles dropped.

"The first time I met Percy Jackson," I croaked, "I was about to be killed by the Minotaur in a New York City alleyway. My only weapon was a weak, homemade spear, and I was so hungry that my cramps had halted my agility. There was this one second where it dawned on me that I've suffered 10 years on the run, and my time was up.

"Percy changed that.

"He killed that beast like it was nothing. And then he did something that no one has done to me in years; he smiled.

"Percy showed me this beautiful, beautiful world. It's screwed and flawed, but it brought me to him. It gave me a reason to live.

"Percy gave me a reason to love. He gave me a person who loves me aswell: himself.

"And love is just this wonderful, wonderful gift. There's nothing better than having the knowledge that someone cares about you. He gave me that. It's one of the other many things that I'm forever grateful for, another thing I need to question if it's even possible to repay.

"There's so much more that I want to say, so many unanswered words. But right now, I'm just rambling. So I'll just wrap this up quickly.

"Percy, I love you. I love you more than the effect of Aphrodite's strongest love potion. I love you more than Dionysus loves wine. I love you more than I love myself.

"I need you to answer me this one thing, though. Did I do it? Did I help you? Did I heal the broken soldier? Did I fix your heart?

"Because you fixed mine."

Please say something. Please answer me. Come back. Please come back.

"I love you so freaking much," I whispered."You're my best friend."

Please come back. Don't leave me alone. I feel so empty.

I walked back to my seat. A single tear slid down my cheek to my mouth. It tasted like salt.

One by one, other campers stood to talk. They all sounded muffled. I couldn't hear them, not even if I wanted to.

Percy. The name brought sadness. It made me hollow. He was such an amazing person. Gods, I let him go. I could have saved him. It should have been me.

Perseus was one of the very few heroes in Ancient Greece that had lived off a happy life. Percy Jackson didn't. It's not fair.

"You're an inspiration. People are starting to talk."

It was Nico. I hadn't noticed him sitting next to me. Then again, I hadn't really sensed anything at all.

"It's not easy, you know," he continued.

I wiped my eyes and showed a fake half-smile. "Demigods die all the time," I whispered sadly. "It's not surprising that Percy...."

I couldn't bring myself to say the word 'die.' It was too formal. Too lifeless.

"It doesn't matter that he's dead," Nico sighed. "Yeah, demigods die all the time. But so do people, everyday. Percy's still with us, okay? So is Jason, Piper, Annabether...pretty much every single one of our friends. Their spirits still reside within us." Nico pointed to his heart, and then mine. "Percy's heart beat for us -- for all of us. He's not gone. He never will be, lest we forget about him."

Nico looked me straight in the eye.

"And we will never forget him."

I felt Percy's eyes boring into the back of my head.

Hey, he said. Did you miss me?

So damn much, I replied, smiling. You're an idiot, Percy Jackson, for making me worried like that.

Percy smirked and held my hand. It felt warm.

Well, I just want you to know that you succeeded, he said. You fixed my heart. Thank you.

I wiped the tears.

Please stay, I whispered. Don't leave me.

Percy just wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. He had this strange ability to close in all the space between us.

It's just a temporary break, he said. You have a good pair of legs, and strong arms that will break anyone's nose. Use them. Live out your life, will you?

I shook my head. Please don't go. I want you to stay.

I can't, Percy replied. But that shouldn't stop you from living out the life of a demigod.

But I don't want to, I cried. I want to be with you in Elysium.

I do too, Percy agreed. But being a demigod -- that's really something. Maybe it was fate, or maybe it could've been the Tooth Fairy that brought us together. Sometimes we just need a change of perspective. I know mine changed. I don't know about yours, and I want you to have the best life you can.

I'm afraid you'll forget me, I said. I'm afraid that you won't recognize me by the next time we meet.

Percy kissed my temples. I'm scared that you'll find someone you love more than me, he countered. But that doesn't stop me, does it? You have your own life. Live it.

I shook my head. I don't want you to go.

I'm not, Percy said. Because Nico's right. I'm here, in your heart. I felt a shiver in my chest. I'm always here, okay? So is everyone in camp.

You're the only person I've ever loved, I cried.

You'll find someone else, Percy sighed. Sometimes it's best that we move on. I found you like that. Maybe you'll meet someone better than me.

But I want you! I screamed. I'll always love you! I don't want anyone else.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, I cried. I felt broken. And you're just gonna leave me.

Percy smiled. I wouldn't have traded a second with you for the world, he said. Would you?

Tears were streaming down my face, and I was shouting, Never! I'd never waste a second with you. I love you more than I love myself! Come back! Come back!

Then live for me, Percy pleaded. I know it feels like everything is crashing, and you want it to stop. I know what that's like, Y/N, but time moves on and so do we. Please wait, Y/N. My beautiful Y/N. I can't take your life from you.

But you are my life! I argued. There's nothing left for me!

Percy's classic troublemaker smile made me weak. I yearned for his soft, ginger kisses and raspy morning voice. Dammit, I missed his rotten egg breath in the morning that reminded me of the hot dogs he ate for dinner.

Goodbye, he whispered. He faded away, leaving me bare and empty.

I hate to admit it, but he's right. He'll always be with me.

Sometimes in life, we just have to move on.

Goodbye, I repeated.

I looked at Nico, now aware of my surroundings (yet still still immune to the campers' voices,) and smiled.

He was staring at me, confused. The sun had begun showing its true radiance, bouncing on Nico's pale skin, making it golden.

I still have Nico. I'll protect him with my life, just as Percy had done with mine.

I may be lost right now, but I'll manage.

I closed my eyes. It took me a second to find the power to open them again.

I'm a lost girl, but I'm ready to be found.

"You're right," I said slowly. "We should move on."

The day I died was the day I began to live.

Somewhere on the podium, a shortish oil-smeared boy with brown curls and a sort of broken but goofy grin waved to me.

Leo.

He wore the same bracelet I gave him for our one-week anniversary. I waved back with the hand holding his present to me.

Yeah, I'll move on. Of course it'll take time. Heck, it took Percy two years. But I'll manage. And just like the unexplained explanation for the reason time moves on, so does love.

Besides, how could I possibly desert the beautiful boy with the trademarked smile of mischief?

Maybe "ready" will be our always.

"After all, tomorrow is another day."