I knew I was letting my tormentors win when I got changed in the boys' bathroom down the hall from the locker room the next day at practice, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Since yesterday, I hadn't felt safe around my teammates. If one of them could get violent with me on the ice in front of our coaches, then who knows what they could do to me in the privacy of the locker room.

I waited until a minute before practice officially started to sprint down the hall to the locker room. Thankfully, it was empty and I was able to get my skates on and head out to the ice without trouble. The team was gathered at center ice when I got there and I snuck up behind them without getting noticed.

Or so, I thought. Fox glared at me from the front of the group, but didn't say anything to interrupt Coach Silva or draw attention to me. When we dispersed to do drills, Fox skated closely next to me.

"You were late," he said in a low tone.

"I know," I replied, trying to distance myself from him.

"Don't make a habit out of it," Fox answered as he followed me over to the drill station.

Little did he know I planned on doing that for the rest of the season. Thankfully, Coach Silva had us doing drills and exercises throughout practice, omitting the scrimmage game. When practice ended, I stayed behind while the rest of the team entered the locker room.

"Something wrong, Ellis?" Coach Silva asked in a concerned tone. "Are any of the boys giving you trouble?"

I shook my head. "How long does the rink stay open?"

"I think they close it around eight on week nights, why?" Coach responded confusedly.

"I want to skate for a little while," I told him to which he nodded and disappeared down the tunnel toward his office.

I absentmindedly skated around the rink after placing my helmet down on the bench. The air blew through my hair, whispering in my ear as I glided back and forth on the rink. I was so distracted, I hadn't noticed Josh make his way out to the bench dressed in his clothes and seemingly ready to go home.

Josh cleared his throat loudly, causing me to snap my head toward him. I had completely forgotten that Josh would be waiting for me after practice. I sent him an apologetic look and skated over to the bench.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," I told him, stepping off the ice.

"Why are you still out here?" he asked me, slightly quirking his head to the side in question.

"I just wanted to skate a little bit," I murmured as I made my way to the locker room, Josh following behind me.

Before entering the locker room, I poked my head in to make sure most of the team had left. My action didn't go unnoticed by Josh as I head him scoff from behind me.

"What, are you afraid of the team now because of yesterday?" he asked incredulously, giving me a disbelieving look.

I entered the room without answering him and quickly made my way to my locker. I didn't have to answer for him to know what he said was true.

"They're not going to do anything," Josh tried consoling me, "And it's just a few of them that think that stuff about you, most of them don't care."

"It doesn't matter Josh," I replied in annoyance. I didn't want to talk to him about this. It was embarrassing enough without having to discuss it with Josh.

Josh left me alone to get dressed and I met him out at the car a few moments later. I was sure to put my earbuds in so that he wouldn't be compelled to start a conversation with me. When we got home, I went straight up to my room and showered soon after. I was sitting at my desk, doing my homework when my father knocked on my door.

"Come in," I mumbled, putting my pencil down.

Dad opened the door before stepping into my room and closing it behind him. He took a seat at the foot of my unmade bed and I turned my chair around so that I could face him.

"Is everything going okay at school?" Dad asked softly.

I groaned. "Did Josh tell you about what happened yesterday?"

Dad nodded. "He told me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it doesn't matter," I reasoned.

"It does matter," Dad argued, leaning forward toward me. "I want you to be safe at this school, and if you're not safe here, I'll put you somewhere that you will be."

"I hate to break it to you, but homophobes exist everywhere," I replied sarcastically. "Especially on sports teams."

"Well that's unacceptable," Dad told me, shaking his head. "I'll have a talk with your coach."

"Dad, no," I pleaded. "I promise it's fine. It's been taken care of."

Dad looked at me for a few moments as if he was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to believe me. He let out a heavy sigh and nodded.

"Fine," he finally responded, "but if anything else happens, and I mean anything, I want you to tell me."

"Okay," I agreed, though I wasn't sure whether I would actually follow through on my promise.

My father patted my shoulder and annoyingly ruffled my hair before exiting my room. I let out a sigh of my own and turned back to my homework. The last thing I wanted was my dad getting involved with the team. The only thing that would do was embarrass me further and make me a bigger target.

All I wanted was to play hockey, but that seemed to be getting harder and harder.

***

"Morning, Elijah," Trevor cheerfully greeted me at my locker the next morning.

I wasn't in the greatest of moods. Since Josh had told my father about what happened with the hockey team, there was a palpable tension between us. He knew I was annoyed at him for talking to my dad, and I knew that he knew that, so the two of us didn't say a word to each other on the ride to school this morning.

"Hey," I grumbled, pulling open my locker.

"I just wanted to ask you if it was okay if I got the GSA members to go to your first hockey game on Friday?" Trevor asked, hope filling his voice.

I suppressed a groan. "You don't need to do that."

"I want to make sure you have support," Trevor replied kindly, a smile that never seemed to go away decorated his face.

I sighed and turned to face him. "I don't care, but please don't make it a big deal, like no signs or anything. Please."

Trevor chuckled, leaning against the locker next to mine. "Fine, no signs. I can do that."

"Thank you," I replied in relief, shutting my locker door.

"Maybe if you're up for it, we can all go out after the game?" Trevor suggested. "To celebrate your first game here."

"Sure," I agreed with a shrug. Trevor's face lit up as he nodded at me happily.

"Great, I'll let the club know today," he assured me.

Great, I thought sarcastically. Poor Trevor was too nice for his own good. He went out of his way to make me feel welcome and I didn't even want to spend any time doing the things he planned.

By the time I got to my English class, the room was pretty full. Lexa and Nadia decided to skip class, presumably to feel each other up in a janitor's closet, so I was left sitting alone, not that I minded much.

"Ellis!" I heard Ryan call out from behind me. I sighed as I turned around to see him waving me over to where him and the others were sitting. I had no choice but to gather my things and walk over to my teammates before choosing a seat beside Ryan.

"Did Josh invite you out tonight?" Ryan asked as soon as I sat down.

I gave him a confused look and shook my head. Josh and I hadn't done much talking, not that we did usually, but it was even less now.

Jude rolled his eyes. "Of course he didn't, kid's useless."

Ryan nodded in agreement. "Anyway, we are going out for a little while after practice tonight. You in?"

"Where?" I wondered, already dreading the thought of going anywhere with the team.

"We're going to the sports pub to watch the Bruins game," Ryan answered. "Just a few of us, not the whole team."

While knowing the whole team wouldn't be there relieved me, I still didn't want to spend my night out with guys from the team. I would rather watch the game in the comfort of my bedroom.

"You gotta come," Jude insisted. "It'll be fun. We do it quite a bit, it's kinda a tradition, but we can bring you in on it."

I looked over to Fox and Ian to see that they weren't even paying attention. The two of them were huddled together, looking at something on Ian's phone.

Ryan laughed, causing me to turn toward him. "Yeah, since you're Josh's brother and a badass hockey player and all, you can crash."

"I'll think about it," I responded with a tight, close lipped smile. I already knew I didn't want to go, and I was hoping they'd just forget they had asked me later on.

Ryan nodded before turning to say something to Jude and class started just moments after. I sighed and took out my notebook, trying hard to focus on anything but the presence of the hockey players around me.

***

Josh came barging into my room as I was napping after hockey practice. Practice was getting harder and more physically exhausting, leaving me wiped out afterward.

My head felt heavy as I picked it up off of my pillow and squinted and Josh standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" he asked me impatiently.

"M'sleepin," I mumbled, almost incoherently.

"Well get up," Josh demanded. "We're going to watch the B's game at the sports bar."

I groaned and stuffed my face into my pillow. I was hoping they'd forgotten about inviting me out tonight when no one mentioned it at practice. Of course, I had no such luck.

"Come on," Josh whined, walking over to my bed. "The guys are downstairs waiting."

I picked my head up again. "Who?"

"Ryan, Jude, Alex, and Fox," he answered. "Ian and Liam are meeting us there."

I let out another groan and got up from my bed despite my body begging me not to. I didn't have the energy to go anywhere, nor did I have the desire to.

I threw a sweatshirt on over my head and ran my fingers through my unruly hair to try and tame it before I followed Josh down the stairs.

"What were you doing sleeping so early anyway?" Josh asked, glancing back toward me.

I shrugged. "Tired."

"The guys have been here for a while. We thought you were eventually going to come down," Josh told me.

If I had even known Josh's friends were here I would be sure to lock myself in my room. The last thing I wanted to do was hang around with them, but there I was, following Josh to the subject of my dread because I was unable to say no.

"There you are, Ellis!" Ryan exclaimed when we entered the living room.

I greeted them with a slight nod and a tight smile.

"Were you hiding from us or something?" Jude joked, nudging Ryan in the ribs for him to laugh along.

"Nah," I denied with a shake of my head. Although, I would have been hiding from them if I had known they were here.

"He wouldn't hide from me," Alex teased, sending me a wink. "You guys on the other hand..."

All I could do was roll my eyes in response.

"You boys heading out?" Dad asked us, suddenly appearing in the doorway of the living room.

Josh nodded. "Yeah, we'll be home after the game."

Dad gave us all a slight smile before telling us to be safe. We all nodded in agreement and headed toward the front door to leave the house. When we got outside, I noticed only one other car was parked out on the curb. I mentally groaned, hoping they weren't going to try and squeeze us all into that one car.

Luckily for me, Josh headed to his own car and I was the only one to follow him, leaving all of the others riding in Fox's car.

By the time we got to the sports bar, Ian and Liam were already there and had saved us some seats around them. The place wasn't very big, but the bar at the center had four giant flat screen TVs that would be used to show the game. Ian and Liam were sitting at a high round table a little ways behind the bar. It looked barely big enough for all of us to sit there, but I assumed we would just have to manage.

Somehow, I ended up stuck between Ian and Fox and wondered if I should make one of them switch with me. Neither of them seemed to be bothered by the situation, but I sure was.

"You got this one to come out of his room?" Ian asked the guys, pointing his thumb toward me. I narrowed my eyes at him before directing my attention toward the TV. The game hadn't started yet, but I would rather watch a beer commercial than listen to the guys around me.

"Josh did," Ryan answered before signalling a waitress over.

"Hey boys," the waitress, whose name tag said Terry, greeted us with a wide smile. She looked older than us, but not old enough to be our mother. "How you all doin'?"

Each of the guys greeted her kindly, even Fox had a smile on for the woman which told me that they came here often and were already acquainted with Terry.

"Excuse my manners!" Terry said once she spotted me. "I'm Terry, and you are?"

I gave her a genuine smile. "Elijah."

"Nice to meet you," she politely replied. "You new to the team?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"He's Josh's brother," Jude informed her, eliciting a surprised expression on her face.

"Step-brother," I clarified and she nodded in understanding. Jude waved me off and gave me an expression as if telling me the clarification wasn't needed.

After a little more small talk with Terry, she took our drink orders and left the table. The game was about to start by the time she brought them back and took our order for food. We just ordered a few appetizers to share and something told me that the guys did this often with each other.

"I totally almost got with Beth the other night," Alex said with a smirk, bringing his soda glass up to his lips.

Ian rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you think you did."

"I'm serious!" Alex exclaimed, slamming his drink down on the table. "It was just me and Claudia over at Beth's and after Claudia left, Beth was totally putting the moves on me."

"So why didn't you seal the deal then?" Liam asked in an annoyed tone.

"Her parents came home and I had to leave through the window," Alex chuckled as if he found the whole situation humorous. The few times I had hung around Alex, I realized he didn't take anything to seriously.

"Why were you there with Beth and Claudia anyway?" Josh wondered, sounding slightly disapproving, and looked at Fox briefly.

Alex gave him a deadpanned look. "You know I have a thing for Beth."

The guys nodded.

"And besides, just because Fox and Claudia broke up doesn't mean I can't hang with her," Alex added with a shrug.

I knew Fox must have had girlfriends in the past, but hearing about it was odd considering I knew he was into guys. I just hoped he hadn't cheated on her with me.

Josh and Ian glared at Alex, but Fox didn't pay any attention to him. Fox was definitely the type to not be hung up on an ex. It wouldn't surprise me if he was the one who broke things off with her.

Nobody said anything else as the hockey game started. The yelling and profanity started within the first few minutes of the game as we all watched in frustration as the Bruins couldn't keep the puck out of their own zone.

"They're so fucking sloppy, it's ridiculous," Fox complained, leaning back in his chair and reaching out to rest his hand on the back of mine.

I couldn't help but agree with him. They weren't connecting their passes, their shots kept going wide, and they were making line changes at bad times. Playing like that wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"I don't know what their problem is," Ian said, leaning his elbows on the table with a hard look on his face.

"Coaching," I mumbled, so low I didn't think anyone would hear me.

"What?" Ian asked me confusedly.

"I said coaching is their problem," I said louder this time. "The line changes are ridiculous, he barely knows what he's doing."

"That, I can agree with you on," Fox surprised me by saying.

"He's probably still adjusting," Josh offered as an explanation. "He's used to being an assistant coach."

Fox shook his head. "No, he's been head coach for two seasons now and he was head coach for the Caps. He's just not a good one."

The guys all uttered words of agreement and I leaned back in my seat, causing my back to come into contact with Fox's hand. I shot forward and looked behind me, but he was unfazed, so I leaned back again and let my back rest near his hand that he decided not to move. Just as I looked up at the TV again, the other team scored, causing a round of curses throughout the entire building.

"They're shit," Fox muttered as Terry came back with our appetizers.

We all took some food and put it on our plates before directing our attention back to the game. Fox finally peeled his hand away from my chair so that he could eat. When I took my phone out to check the time, I heard sounds of protest coming from Alex, Ryan, and Jude.

"You can't be texting your boyfriend during guy time," Jude told me with a warning look.

"I was just checking the time," I said, showing him my blank lock screen.

Jude just rolled his eyes as if he didn't believe me. "Sure you were."

"So you're really datin' Trevor now?" Alex asked me with his mouth full.

My face pinched into an annoyed expression. "No."

Ryan fake coughed and under his breath he said, "Bullshit."

I didn't even warrant his comment with a response.

"Come on," Alex whined. "We're your friends, you have to tell us about who you're fucking. I told you about Beth!"

Ian snorted and shook his head. "You didn't fuck Beth."

"I almost did!" Alex defended himself. "And I told you guys about it."

"Alex," Josh said in a warning tone. "Stop it, seriously."

That was enough to get Alex to back off. I quickly glanced at Fox to see that he was looking uncomfortable and I didn't know if his change in mood was about the situation or about something else.

I rolled my eyes and turned back toward the TV. These guys weren't my friends.

**

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