《A Very OOC Uchiha [Naruto Fanfic]》Chapter 7: Bell Test
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[Chapter 7: Bell Test]
"Teme," Naruto pinned Sasuke against the wall. The said raven-haired breathing hitched, his lips are so close! "I can't hold it anymore." He blushed as he felt his hot breathing down his neck.
"You dope." He replied back, trying to sound cool but it failed as his blush increased. Naruto then inched closer and licked his neck, earning a moan from the raven-haired. My body feels so ...! Sasuke thought.
"Your name suits you, SasUKE." Naruto commented as he started to pull his clothing off.
"Naruto!"
"Sasuke!"
"Nee-chan wake up!" I immediately sat up as I felt a wet and icy sensation. I widened my eyes at the sudden change of temperature. Looking around, I find myself in my room with Sasuke sitting next to me with a bucket. "Foolish little brother did you really just splash me?!" I yelled, well, tried to yell as my voice came out rough and groggy.
"Hn. We have to be at the training grounds remember?" He retorted back. I pout and let out a villager sound, crossing my arms. It's not like Kakashi will be there at time.
"But I wanna sleep!" I whine, still freezing cold.
"Hn. You can sleep after."
"I can't since I'm already awake though."
"Then that's your problem."
"...Fiiiiine. Now go, I need to change."
After I changed and did my nessarities, I sneaked a few apples and headed out, Sasuke tailing behind me. When we got there, nobody else was. Five minutes later, Sakura came in and then soon Naruto.
"Ahhhhhh!!!! When is he coming?!?!?" Naruto shouted after 5 minutes. Sakura added on to him, equally annoyed. Glancing over to Sasuke who sat next to me, I could tell that he was also annoyed. Shrugging, I reveal my apples and started eating one.
"Hey!" Sakura yelled, pointing an accusing finger at me. "You're not supposed to eat!"
"But I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyyy!" I whine, still in a sleep mode.
"But Kakashi-Sensei told us not to."
"Well then he's a big dum dum if he thinks I'm gonna starve." I retorted back. I took a bite from mine and held out another apple to her.
"You want one?"
"No!"
I yawn, shrugging and taking more bites of my apple. Sitting up from my seat, I walk over to the nearest tree, relishing the cool shade. Rubbing my tired eyes, I sway back and forth against my will. "You were right Sasuke, I can sleep after." And then I face planted onto the ground.
I woke up to someone choking me. I sit right up, head butting Sasuke in the process. Gasping for air, I whipped my head to my brother with wide eyes. "Na-nani the fuck you ducking butt!"
"Hn. I didn't have a bucket of water." He replied, wincing as he clutched his head. I let out a cry in pain. So you try to me in my sleep?! Hearing someone clearing his throat, I glance over to Kakashi Sensei who wasn't here before.
"Okay since everybody is present now we can begin." He said. He walked over to the tree stump and placed an alarm clock on it. "I set it for noon. Now then," He then pulled out 2 bells from his pocket. Ah. The famous bells.
"Your assignment is to get these bells from me before the timer runs out. If you don't I'll tie one of you to the wooden polls and eat you lunch right in front of you." Right on cue, everybody else's stomachs grumble. I smile contently as mine didn't.
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Sakura then gasped and pointed at the bells. She likes to point at everything. "Wait! There's only 3 of them and 4 of us!"
"Well that just means that only 3 can pass; or, means that nobody can pass blah blah blah..." I zone out, I knew what he was gonna say: Come to me will killing intent. Oh no they're to dangerous, esspecially with a Jonin UWU~~~~~~~~ Clowns are dumb. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Sasuke would totally be an Uke.
"Ah, no need to be hasty. I haven't even said 'Start' yet." I zone back in to see Naruto trying to stab Kakashi with a Kunai. "But, you did come at me with killing intent. I'm starting to like you guys." Awwwwwww I wuv you too! He cleared his throat once more. "All right, three... two... one- Start!"
In an instant, I moved back into the tree, Sakura and Sasuke doing the same thing, leaving only Naruto and Kakashi in the open. How the hell do I even supposed to beat a Jonin? I thought in my head. I mean I know the purpose of this is teamwork but everybody here is stubborn. Maybe Sasuke- no wait, he'll be too emo trying to be stronger so that he can try to kill Itachi even though it's also my responsibility.
I frown at my last thought. I don't want to kill Itachi nor do I want Sasuke to. I sigh, why are Uchihas so complicated?!
"Hidden Leaf Jutsu: A Thousand Years of Death!" Blinking, I see Naruto flying up with his butt clenched. Silently giggling, I look at the rest of their fight until the blond gets caught in the gray-haired man's trap.
Jumping from my spot and landing with such grace (cough I almost tripped and fell cough), I waltz up to Naruto who was hanging upside down. "Hey Megumi-chan! Help me down, dattebayo." I giggle while grinning at his antics. Grabbing a kunai from my thigh pouch, I cut the rope and catch him before he fell onto the ground. "Thanks, dattebayo!"
"Ne, Naruto-kun, Wanna team up?" I asked him, might as well. He shook his head.
"Sorry but I gotta do this alone if I wanna be Hokage!" He exclaimed. Where'd you even get that idea?!
"Ok then, tell me if ya change your mind!" I told him. Right on cue, I hear Sakura scream in the distance. I should probably help her. I walked into the forest and soon found the fallen girl.
Holding up the correct hand signs, I soon released the genjutsu. She instantly sat up. "Hewo." I waved.
"I-I have to help Sasuke-kun!" She exclaimed, standing up.
"My brother's fine, you were just in a genjutsu." I stated. She shook her head.
"No he could be hurt! I have to find him!" And then she took off. I deadpan at the scene.
"I guess you're on your own now." I jump from the sudden voice. Turning around, I see Kakashi walking up to me. I step back, analyzing the area to see if I could escape.
"I guess so. I'm not gonna bother with my foolish little brother since he's too hellbent on doing things alone." I shrug, putting my hands behind my back. "Speaking of him, did you already fight him?" He nods. "So what are you gonna do to little old me? Ninjutsu? Genjutsu? Taijutsu?"
He cocked a brow. "Hmmmm... I guess I should give you the same treatment as the other Uchiha." He concluded. He then threw a punch at me, something I narrowly duck.
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Squatting down, I take advantage of my short stature and head butted him in the gut. Stepping back, I dodge his kicks until I hit a tree behind me. Panting, I see him pulling his arm out to punch me. Jumping as he throws it, I land on his arm and do another flip so that I would now be behind him.
"...You're not targeting my bells. Why?" He asked in the silence. I let out a huff whilst smiling.
"The bells are not the true purpose of this." I answered, letting go of my fighting stance. "I also don't wanna pass if my brother didn't." Just then, a rang blew off. Oh, it's done.
Kakashi does his weird eye-smile (I don't even know how) and started walking with his hands in his pockets. "I see. Welp, we should probably meet up with them."
I scurry on to catch up on him. Humming, we walked to the poles to see the rest of the team there. Sitting next to Sasuke, I waited to hear what Kakashi was saying. "Alright. I've decided that I won't be failing you." Everybody's heads perked up when they heard this.
"Wait really? All I did was scream and pass over." Sakura comment as Naruto let out a cheer. I giggle at what she said. Well at least she acknowledges it.
"Yup, you all are dropping out of the program!" Everybody's eyes widen. Enraged, Sasuke then stood up and tried to stab the gray-haired man with a kunai, failing miserably when he immediately got pinned down like a hoe.
"Don't treat Sasuke-kun like that!" Sakura yelled.
Yeah at this point I'm zoning out. I wonder, would Sasuke kill me if I replace his clothes with pink frilly dresses? Nah, he wouldn't; he wuvs me too much! Oooooo, maybe I could make him wear makeup? Oh my Pein yes, Drag queen Sasuke!!!! Itachi might die by how fabulous he looks.
"Fine, I'll give you one more test. We'll fight after you eat but don't give Naruto any!" Kakashi instructed, oh shit what'd I miss. He then disappeared in a puff of smoke. Picking up a bento that was right in front of me, I open it and grabbed a piece of food with my chopsticks.
"Hey Naruto-kun, open wide." I motion to him with my chopsticks. He shook his head frantically.
"No, no! I don't need any-" I cut him off by shoving the food into his mouth. Sakura gasped.
"Megumi-chan! Kakashi-sensei told us not to feed him!" She exclaimed.
"And I said that he's a big dum dum!" I continue fishing food and giving it to Naruto. "Besides, I have another apple."
"That's not the point!"
Sasuke then scooted over and placed his chopstick with food under the blond's chin. "Nee-chan's right. We all also need full power when we fight Kakashi again. Besides, he's not here anymore." The blond teared up and took his food.
The bubblegum girl grumbled but then offered literally most of her food to Naruto. "Take it. I'm on a diet anyways."
"Oh no ya don't!" I exclaim and shoved an apple to her mouth. "Ya need more food! You're already skinny legend enough." She gave me a weird look but then proceeded to eat it anyways. I smile, since I'm on team seven, I might as well make her more like her shippuden self and focus more on training than beauty.
Right on cue, a burst of lighting strikes before us, revealing Kakashi with crossed arms. "You...!" Sakura and Sasuke scooted away in fear, Naruto tried to too but them remembered he was tied on a pole. I just stayed in my spot with a grin.
"Me!" Sasuke deadpan at me, I giggled.
"...Pass!" He suddenly brightened and I could practically see flowers surround him. The fuck is with that genjutsu.
"What." They all said at the same time. I clutch my stomache as I go into a giggling fit, laughing at their stupid faces. I guess by the time I stopped, everybody was getting up and leaving. Sitting up, I untie a whining Naruto from the pole and caught up to Sasuke.
"So," I started, grinning and placing my hands behind my back. "What'cha want for dinner?"
"Hn. Tomatoes."
"...That's not an actual dinner but okay."
Omake: (before they became Genin) ((hope u Hardstop Lucas fans enjoy this))
"What's the problem?" I asked Naruto, who was glaring at a price of paper. I had come over to his apartment because I was absolutely bored and thought that I didn't spend enough time with the blond.
"Math problems, dattebayo." He muttered out, chewing on his chewed out pencil.
"Ah- you're doing homework huh." You see, Naruto actually tries to learn. It not like he wants to miss out on the education either, he just never askes anyone to help and has a short attention span, hence why he never finishes his homework in the end. "Ne, wanna let me help ya with that?"
He whipped his head at me with shining eyes. "Really?!"
"Yup!" I giggled as he egarly hands me his paper. Scanning its contents, I find out that he don't even answer a single one. "Oh here's an easy one!" I glanced up at the grinning and hopeful boy. "What's six times three?"
He shrugged. "I don't know." He replied, looking a bit frustrated.
I cocked a brow in confusion. "Six times three?" I repeated. Does he seriously know what the answer is?
"I don't know," He repeated, a little quieter. Maybe he misheard me?
"Six times three?!" I repeated louder, clutching the paper tighter in concern.
"I don't, dattebayo!"
"SIX TIMES THREE?!"
"I LEGIT DONT KNOW!"
"SIX THREE'S!!!"
"I DONT KNOW, WHAT IS IT, DATTEBAYO?!"
"WHAT IS IT...?" I paused, thinking it over. Wha... my eyes widened. I... I know what it is, it's... my minds gone blank! "We're going to Sasuke."
His face contorted to one of confusion. "Wha- why are we going to Teme-"
I grabbed his hand and we booked it out of his door and into the next ones, which was mine. "SASUKE, HOLY FUCK!" I shrieked, kickingn the door open.
Sasuke, who was sitting in the clinch crunching on a tomato (who the duck does that?), jumped in surprise. "Nee-chan, what the-"
"Homework!" I interrupted, smacking Naruto's paper to his face whilst also letting ourselves in.
Though annoyed, he removed the paper from his face with a deadpan. "Hn... what's six times three?" He questioned us.
"I don't know!" Naruto whined, landing himself on the couch besides my twin.
My foolish little brother turned to face him with a quizzical (oo big words) expression. "Six times three?" He repeated, going in the same phase I was going a few seconds ago.
"I said I don't know, dattebayo!"
"What's six plus six?!" He further questioned the blond, the said blond sinking further in the couch in pain and distress.
Naruto then lit up. "Oh- twelve!" He respond with a foxy grin.
"Okay, then add six."
Naruto's face turned back to the expression before. "I don't know!"
"What is it?!" I demanded to Sasuke, tugging the strands of my hair in distress. How the I could have forgotten this stupid answer?!
"What is it?!" The raven-head repeated. He looked like he wanted to say more, but then he stopped and closed his mouth, his facial features Turing into a thoughtful one. Oh my Pein he doesn't know it either. "Where's Iruka-Sensei?"
"Wha-" I had already taken both their wrists and sprinted out the door before Naruto could finish his sentence.
~Time Skip~
"IRUKA-SENSEI, HOLY " Once again, I kicked the door down, all three of us entering our teacher's house. There was a crash on the other side and in a few seconds, Iruka came rushing out.
"Wha- Megumi, Naruto- even Sasuke!?" He stuttered out in his casual clothing. "It's 8 pm, what are you doing- no, wait- how did you know where I live?!"
"With a bunched of time and stalking." I admitted shamelessly, shrugging as his exasperated face. "But that's not the point!"
"No, I'm pretty sure that's a big deal-" He got smacked in the face. He caught the homework with curious eyes and an eyebrow raised. He then looked at us. "I you this! What's six times three?"
"I don't know!" Naruto kept on repeating, who dropped to his knees in despair. Sasuke just stood next to me with hands in his pockets, looking away in embarrassment.
Our teacher's eye twitched rapidly, totally done with our shit. "Look: if Johnny has six times three amount of of dish soap, how much dish soap would he have?!"
"HOW MUCH?!" The blond repeated, now curling up in a fetal position. Squatting down, I patted his back in empathy.
"HOW MUCH-" Iruka's face then contorted to one full of thoughtfulness. I stared in disbelief. No- don't tell me-! Grabbing a pencil out of no where, the tall brown haired male drew Johnny with six times three amounts of dish soap. He then stared at it with brows furrowed in concentration. "... one, two, three, four..."
I fell in disbelief, bringing Sasuke along with me. This is never gonna end...!
And so, after asking Hiro, Hinata, Ino, the god damn Hokage himself, we finally got our answer from breaking and entering the Nara compound. And let me tell you:
.
.
.
Johnny, in the end, had six times three amounts of dish soap.
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