———Eren's POV———

Monday

We all have those days, those days when you can't get out of bed, can't eat, can't shower, can't do anything you enjoy. Well for mikasa that lasts about a week.

Not that she would actually like to admit it but it's pretty fucking obvious if you know her. First it starts off with her obsessing about little things then she get picky, She gets quiet over little things, never comes out of her room, never sleeps, And she always finds something to do, anything to keep her busy.

I brought my hand up to the door of the dorm room "Mikasa?" I knocked, waiting for a response

Silence.

I knocked again and mid knock the door was opened to a smiling Sasha "Eren!"

I smiled at her and rubbed the back of my neck "Hey sash do you know where casa is?"

Her smiled slowly dropped and she gave me a shy look "Uh..She went to the library" she stayed silent for a minute while I raised an eyebrow "At what time Sasha?" I asked because it was literally 8am

"Uh I think at 6am"

Both my eyes went wide "Pardon me?"

She gave an awkward chuckle "uh yeah"

I shook my head while turning to leave "Thanks sash, See you around!" I called over my shoulder and waved a hand to her.

How the fuck does one get up that early to go read books and do homework?

Leaving the elevator I turned the corner and bumped into someone "fuck" I mumbled while backing up a bit

"Sorry!" The voice said while leaning down and picking up her books

"Mikasa? What are you doing here?" I asked seeing how she this is not the library and she looks crazy.

She grabbed her textbook from the floor and stood up straight in front of me "I was going to the cafe" she looked around and her eyes locked on the clock "wanna come? If not I have to go" she said while walking around me not waiting for a response

I ran up beside her and took her textbook "Yeah I'll come" she tried to grab it out of my hand but failed "Why are you up so early?"

She stopped trying to grab it and put her hands in the pocket of her hoodie "Trying to catch up on homework" she shrugged "Why are you up?" She raised an eyebrow at me

"No reason" I shrugged, couldn't exactly tell her that I knew she wasn't asleep and I wanted to check up on her.

She gave me a small laugh while looking at me "You're such a bad liar" she pointed towards my now red ears "You don't have to lie I know why you were up and I promise I'm fine Eren"

I smacked her hand away which was pulling at my ear "have you slept?" I questioned seeing how she has eyebags

She gave me a shy look "yeah" she said but hesitated before saying.

"Mikasaaa" I slowly dragged out

She groaned "fine" she dragged her hand across her face "I did sleep, I just didn't sleep for long"

I grabbed her hand and brought it to my eyes "you need to sleep" I said while observing her hand "No nail polish?" I asked seeing how she always has her nails coloured

"Yeah, I didn't like any colour so.." she dragged out

I hummed in response while letting her hand fall back to her side. Our hands grazed a bit so I locked my pinky around Hers to show her a little bit of comfort.

"Here it is! Home sweet home!" She semi yelled while holding her arms out to show the cafe that was right in front of her "remember this cafe?" She asked

I nodded while opening the door for her "yeah" she walked in while giving me a smile "this was when we first had a conversation without trying to rip each other's head off" I laughed a bit

"Upstairs?" She asked while taking a quick gaze around the room

I nodded "yeah, want anything to drink?"

She started to walk towards the staircase "Yeah an extra large coffee please!"

I stared at her retreating figure for a minute. Did she say extra large? Who's man is this.

I grabbed our drinks and made my way to where mikasa was sitting. To my surprise mikasa was handling this well but then again it's only Monday and there's still a week left but I have to tell her something that will probably set everything off.

"One extra large coff-" I cut myself off after seeing what was In Her hand

She looked up at me with a raised eyebrow "what?"

I set down our drinks and sat across from her "What's that?" I pointed at the drink in her hand

She turned it so I could see it "it's a energy drink Want a sip?" she said while opening it and taking a sip of it

"But..you" I pointed at the coffee "you wanted a coffee but are having a energy drink?"

Ok I might have been wrong with the whole mikasa handling thing because at this rate she's gonna have a fucking heart attack from all the caffeine she's consuming.

She shrugged in response "it's fine I can drink both"

"Mikasa" I drawled out

"Eren I'm fine"

I rolled my eyes and set my backpack beside me and grabbed my biology textbook "What homework do you have?"

She looked up at me from her notes "I have bio homework, Neurology homework and chemistry"

I went wide eyed at her "That's a lot when is it due?"

"Next week"

Bro. This girl. "Why don't you do the homework that's due this week?"

"Because might as well get ahead"

"When was the last time you actually slept mikasa?"

Just by looking at her you wouldn't be able to notice if she was sleeping or not but if you really did you could see the faint eye bags under her eyes and how her eyes look more droopy than usual.

"Eren I just woke up early I'm fine"

I swear to god if this girl says she's fine one more time I'm gonna strangle her. "Anyways I have bad news and good news so which do you want to hear first?" I asked finally deciding to tell her

She raised an eyebrow "Bad news?" She said more like a question than an answer

I took a breath in "I'm leaving for the week" the grip on her pencil went slack and fear flashed through her eyes

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"I have to go deal with some things out of town for two weeks. Good news is I'm only one phone call away and if you need anything Mika I'll come back for you"

She stared at me with an open mouth "For the week?" She whispered while looking back down at her coffee

I nodded "You will be fine mika" I got up and went around so I was behind her "Just call me and I'll come for you" I brought my arms around her so I was hugging her from behind

"I'll be fine" she whispered again

——Mikasas pov——

Tuesday

Eren left yesterday night after we got back from the cafe we just went to his dorm to chill but then ymir came bursting through the door and was yelling about how there was a football game next week.

Yeah I wasn't really listening to that because what's the point?

Sure yeah I love watching ymir play football but still it wasn't her game it was two totally different schools that we hardly know about.

"Mikasa?" Sasha said from her bed. She was laying on her side, back faced towards me

I hummed in response not ready to speak or get up from bed.

She rolled over so she was facing me, both of us on our sides looking at each other "you good?"

I rolled my eyes and rolled onto my back, peering up at the ceiling "I'm fine Sasha stop asking" I said in the most polite way possible.

I have a very strong feeling that Eren told Sasha to keep on eye on me while he was gone. I know he's just trying to be caring but still I like to breath.

I closed my eyes while listening to the wind from outside the open window "I'm going back to sleep Sasha" I said while bringing up the blankets closer to me

"Good, it's 4 in the morning get some sleep" she softly said.

Soft rain turned into rain that could keep you up all night.

I used to love thunderstorms the small shake the house would do after it would thunder or how the sky would light up after a lighting bolt struck down but the key would was; used

I woke up fast causing me to almost fall out of bed I was laying in a pool full of sweat and tears streaming down my eyes that I didn't even know about until it hit my hand.

I looked around the room I was in, wooden floors, Window that was slightly open with a flower beside it and on my bed was a little Eren stuffy

I'm in my childhood bedroom.

I tried to talk but nothing came out. I stood up from the bed and began to walk around the room. Where's my Mom? Wheres Levi?

"Mom?" I tried to yell but it came out weak and like a whisper

"Mommy!" A new voice yelled from outside the room

I followed the sound of the yelling and made it into the creaky hallway "Miki!" A women yelled no doubt older than the other voice.

Mom?

"Mommy" I whispered now running trying to find where I heard her voice

There was laughter in the master bedroom "Mikasa go to sleep you have school tomorrow"

I walked into the master bedroom and saw that my mom and me were laying down in the bed. I was younger no doubt I was nine and still had my favourite pink sleep dress, laying down, my head rested on her shoulder while she played with my hair.

Can they not see me?

"Can you tell me a story?" Younger me asked while I walked towards the front of the bed

I leaned against the dresser which held a tv, peering towards myself and my mom I felt a pang of hurt since this would never happen again.

Maybe this is a good dream god knows I needed one.

She opened her mouth to begin the story but was cut off by me, well younger me "I like this" I whispered while rubbing my thumb against my moms arm "what is it?"

She looked down and smiled looking at her tattoo "Tattoos are an art, an art that can always stay with you wherever you go" she lightly took my own arm and raised it so we were both looking at it "do you want a tattoo Mikasa?"

Little me looked at my arm with curious filled eyes and a smile that could light up any room "if you have one I want one!"

I smiled at the scene in front of me not noticing that I was rubbing the back of my neck where the key tattoo was.

"Story?" The nine year old asked again with a small yawn.

"There was a boy and a girl both 19" she started but I didn't listen, instead I focused on the features that painted her face, her soft smile while looking down at me, the slight wrinkles that were in the corners of her eyes, her dark blue greyish eyes that are the mirror image as mine.

I miss her. I miss her so fucking much

*knock knock*

She stopped her story and looked at the door of the room, contemplating if she should go answer the front door "One second Mikasa" she gave me a small kiss on the top of my head which earned her a smile from younger me.

No no no she can't leave.

"Mom wait" I tried to say but nothing came out.

I ran to the door of the room trying to block her from going downstairs "mommy please" I begged but she couldn't hear me nor see me

She walked right through me not even glancing back at me, a smile still on her face not knowing what was to come.

I ran passed her and to the staircase once again trying to stop her "You can't please please hear me" I whimpered

She walked down the stairs but turning back with a smile "go back to the room Mikasa I'll be there in a moment"

I froze thinking that she was talking to me but after hearing small footsteps behind me I knew she wasn't exactly talking about me but about younger me that was curious to see who was at the door.

I remember thinking that it was Eren at the door coming to say hi or maybe Levi forgetting his gym bag in his room.

*knock knock*

"Coming!" My mom yelled right after the second knock she wrapped her cardigan around her small body before opening the door

"Check the door!" I tried to yell but again nothing came out but air

"Hello?" She asked while opening the door fully

I turned around not wanting to see the scene that haunted me most at night.

"Mikasa run!" She yelled after the three men came in the house without an invite.

"Mom!" Younger me yelled while standing in place frozen not being able to move or register what was happening.

How could I? I was only nine.

The sound of blood being splattered echoed throughout the room.

"Get the kid!" One of the men said while looking towards me with an evil smile

Younger me repeatedly shook their head while stepping back until her back hit the wall, still frozen in place from what a child should have never seen.

"G-get away" She stuttered her voice weak and frail

The men just mocked me and laughed at me before one of them went up to me but She ran. She ran towards the washroom and tried to lock herself in key word; Tried

The guy broke open the door before she got the chance to lock it.

I walked towards the bathroom to watch the scene unfold. Younger me was backing up and the man was walking foward, cornering me so I would have no where to run.

He tried to grab my hair but I ducked out of the way and grabbed the flower vase that was on top of the sink.

I smashed it against the side of his head which caused him to stumble back but not fall unconscious.

"Fucking bitch!" He yelled while grabbing the side of his now throbbing head.

Tears started to stain younger me face a small whimper she cried.

"Theo let's go there's someone outside!" One of the men Yelled from downstairs- the guy who murdered my mom.

He looked behind him then back at me he grabbed my throat and threw me against the mirror which shattered on impact.

Yeah the next day I couldn't move at all. Carla had to take me back to the emergency room.

She cried in pain once she fell to the floor and landed on her knees. Blood dripping under her eye from the glass that shattered everywhere.

Suddenly everything disappeared, the men, the room, the whole damn house, the only thing around me was white floors and white walls.

Where am I now?

I looked around and heard a small cry from in front of me.

"You didn't do anything" Nine year old me said while laying on the floor.

I walked up to her with furrowed eyebrows "What?" I asked. Can she hear me now?

"You didn't do anything! You just watched!" She yelled out suddenly now in front of me.

I didn't say anything but just looked at the distraught kid who was now crying.

"I'm sorry" I said while gripping her shoulders, this time not going through

She shook her head repeatedly "you did this"

I tried to reason with her but nothing came out this time. Why cant I fucking talk. Why cant I do anything?

She started coughing and the harder she coughed blood came out.

Breathe. I tried to say but she didn't listen nor hear me

She started to choke on her blood and panic took over her face.

"FUCK" I yelled now frustrated why cant I save anyone? I can't breath.

I can't breath.

I brought a hand up to my mouth and swiped it across, bringing my hand down so I could see it I saw that it was blood.

No no no.

——Third person pov—-

Kicking and screaming is all you could hear from Mikasa.

Sasha woke up disorientated about what the hell was going on and who was screaming at 6 in the morning. She looked over at her roommate who was crying in her sleep and a look of distraught painted her face.

"Mikasa?!" Sasha yelled now terrified of what was happening.

"No!" The black haired girl yelled while springing up from her bed.

Sasha ran over to Mikasa's bedside and kneeled down so she was right beside Mikasa.

The blood pounded in her ears. Her heart thudded in her chest. Her hands shook. Her feet tingled. Her vision disfigured, as if she were looking through a fish-eye lens.

Mikasa felt like she was having a heart attack. Her breathing was labored and her palms were sweating. She felt it would burst, her heart. She couldn't think anything, only that her chest might get crushed any minute and her heart might burst

She wanted her mother back but that was impossible. The dream had made her sweaty. She was feeling like her life was running out of her. Her body felt so weak like she was just thrown at the mirror again.

She peered down at her fingers. They were shaking uncontrollably. Trying to catch her breath, she tried to speak but to no avail. Her voice wasn't following her brain.

"S-Sasha" Mikasa whimpered while trying to catch her breath.

Sasha cared about her friend Mikasa. Sasha had seen many panic attacks some of them her own over the years. She knew she had to be calm for her friend.

So she asked Mikasa whose eyes were bloodshot now, calmly, "What is your favourite sport?"

Mikasa looked up towards her brunette friend "I uh" she stayed silent for a minute, starting to worry Sasha until she opened her mouth again "volleyball" she whispered

Her breathing became rapid again her eyes darted around the room not settling on something "Mikasa" Sasha said trying to catch her attention "can you tell me where is Annie?" She calmly asked in a soothing voice

Mikasa looked around the room not bothering to relax "uh she's with armin" she breathed out

Sasha slowly brought up her hand to Mikasa's face and gently placed her hand on the side of her cheek "look at me Mikasa"

Mikasa obliged and locked eyes with Sasha.

Sasha still could tell that Mikasa wasn't relaxed whatsoever so she decided to ask more questions trying to divert Mikasas attention to something else "What's your favourite colour?"

"Green" she said with an airy laugh

Sasha raised an eyebrow "what shade of green?"

Mikasa took a deep breath of air and relaxed her face, slightly leaning on sashas hand that was still placed upon her cheek "The shade of Erens eyes" she smiled softly now remembering the way his eyes would squint every time he laughed loudly or how his eyes would go ever so slightly wide if he found something interesting "My favourite colour is the colour of Erens eyes"

Sasha nodded in response a smile playing on her face "would you like me to call Eren?" She asked knowing that if she did call Eren he would come running back.

Mikasa shook her head 'no' in response not wanting to bother Eren with her stupid panic attacks. Well she thought it was stupid.

Sasha nodded respecting Mikasa's decision not to call Eren "do you like Eren?" She asked now curious about their relationship

Mikasa let out a airy laugh which made Sashas heart flutter in joy that she could divert Mikasa's attention to something else "I uh don't know" Mikasa responded now breaking eye contact with Sasha suddenly becoming shy about the topic.