Today I get out of the hospital. It is kinda soon since I just woke up out of a coma yesterday but they cleared me and said I was ok to go home today. I'm still trying my best to take in the news Keegan told me yesterday, about him and Shay. After 5 years of working together and 4 years of being in a relationship off camera, he decides to cheat on me. I loved Keegan and I thought he loved me, but maybe I was wrong. While I was getting everything packed, I heard footsteps and I was praying to god it wasn't Keegan or Shay. "T, are you ok?" It was Shay. "Shay, I don't wanna talk to you right now. Please leave." "Please, Troian, give me a chance." "Shay, I can't. You're one of my best friends and I find out you're pregnant with my boyfriends baby? And you expect me to give you a chance?" "T, I'm so sorry, I really am. I'm never gonna forgive myself for this, but I don't wanna lose you forever, and I know for a fact Keegan doesn't either. He loves you Troian, and I can't bare the thought of seeing him live his life without the girl he loves the most. You don't have to forgive me even though I don't wanna lose you, but all I ask is that you forgive Keegan." "Shay, leave please. And if you truly are sorry, stay away from me." "T, I'm sorry." When Shay walked out, I sat on the bed and cried. It felt like everything was crashing around me. First, I lose my baby and then I find out my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. What did I do wrong to deserve this?

All I can think about is Troian. She doesn't deserve this. If I could give Troian the world, I would. I love her so much, more than anything and being with her has made me a better person and made me realize what love is and what it feels like to love someone more than life itself. I feel like a part of me is missing. I feel broken. I lost the one person who I love more than anything. I lost my future.

😭