"scars remind us where we've been, they don't have to dictate where we're going"

Song-place like this; wingtip

After my fight with Cameron we didn't talk for a couple days. We constantly fight so our friends expect nothing from it. This fight was different.

Most of the time we fight over stupid little things like me stealing his clothes or what tv show to watch. It's been like that since we were little. We were best friends but rarely got along.

Unlike the stupid fights we've been in this one was heavier. He was still around all the time but we just ignored each other. I mostly stayed in my room when he was around unless it was to get food.

After 4 days of not talking I'm up at 3 am from a nightmare. I'm scrolling through Instagram when I hear a knock on my window.

What the hell?

Is someone coming to kidnap me.

I don't want to be kidnapped but if Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan were there to save me I wouldn't be opposed.

I grab my bat I keep by my bed and slowly get up wrapping my hands around the cold wood. I creep to the window peeking over when it slides open. I go to swing the bat when I hear a familiar voice.

"It's just me, don't swing." Cam pulls off his hood and lifts himself into the window. I place my hand over my chest and inhale deeply. When he stands fully up I slap his chest.

"You scared me!" I seethe setting down the bat and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Sorry"

"What are you doing here?" I ask as he sits beside me. His hair a mess from the hood. He's wearing a baseball sweatshirt with some gray sweatpants.

"You opened my snap in the middle of the night" he replies with a chuckle. "So I thought I would stop by"

"At 3 in the morning?"

"It's not the first time" he shrugs. He's not wrong but the other times we weren't in the middle of a major fight. "Why were you up? Another nightmare?"

"No, just couldn't sleep" I look down at my fingers.

"I can tell when you're lying Lee"

"Okay fine, what were you doing up?" I question placing my chin in my hand.

"Couldn't sleep" I give him a look and he sighs. "Because I felt horrible about our fight"

I stare blankly at him for a moment sitting up.

"I know I pushed you to much it's just I'm worried" he runs a hand through his hair. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"You don't have to worry about that, you'll never get rid of me" I joke bumping our shoulders. He chuckles before turning and staring into my eyes.

"Good" he says plainly placing a hand on my knee. "because even though you drive me insane most days you're my best friend Lee"

"I better be" I snort. He rolls his eyes with a amused smile and shoves me. "I missed you" I whisper setting my head on his shoulder.

"So did I"

We lay back in bed with my head on his shoulder and his head on my head. We lay in bed talking for a while about random things before I feel my eyelids getting heavy.

Last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Cam whispering "goodnight Mar"

My alarm buzzes repeatedly. Groaning I blindly reach onto my beside table trying to reach my phone. I find it and press the button sighing in relief when it stops buzzing.

I realize the space next to me is empty and unbury my head from my pillow glancing around my empty room. Sitting up I stretch my limps and walk to my dresser.

I pull on a loose green sweater with some ripped jeans. I make sure my sunflower necklace is straight before tying my hair up in a loose ponytail. I put on some light pink checkered vans before grabbing my bag.

Going into the kitchen I set my bag on the table and check my sugar. Theo walks in and freezes. A small smile comes to his face. He walks over and kisses the crown of my head.

"What?" I ask looking at him strange. He grins pulling a piece of my hair.

"Nothing" he shrugs walking to the fridge and getting out the carton of eggs. "Want eggs?"

"Sure" I say placing my diabetic kit in my backpack. "Grayson! Get your lazy ass up!" I shout walking down the hall and banging on his door.

He opens it a few moments later, his hair disheveled and still half asleep. I smile at him pinching his cheek.

"Morning baby brother, want some eggs?" I ask with a wide smile.

"Shut up" he grumbles walking into the room and opening his closet.

"I'll take that as a no"

"It's a yes"

Laughing I go back to the kitchen to tell Theo to make more eggs. Once the foods done we all sit around the table and eat, something we don't do very often. I make some toast for us and plop it onto my plate taking a bite when Cam and Connor walk in.

"Smells good" Connor comments. Cameron walks straight into the kitchen snatching the piece of toast out of my hand and taking a bite.

"Bitch" I snap grabbing the piece of toast from his hand. He smiles, his cheeks chubby from food.

"Did you take-"

"-My blood sugar?" I interrupt him. "Done" I nod poking his nose while standing up and placing everyone's plate in the sink "ready to go?"

Walking down the streets with my arms wrapped around Bri and Addie I feel at a sense of calmness. The slight breeze brushes my face and the warm sun soothes my skin.

Asher, Cam, Miles and Theo all walk ahead of us tossing a ball back and forth as they walk. I'm talking with Addie and Brianna when I spot a furry creature.

Freezing I look back towards it. A small German shepherd puppy sits in the grass with its ears perked up and tongue sticking out.

Surprisingly a squeal comes from my mouth as I crouch down. All my friends spin around with worried express but relax when they see the puppy. I slowly walk towards it.

It looks apprehensive at first but then lunges towards me knocking me down and licking my face. I laugh petting the adorable dogs ears.

"Guys look how cute!" I say to my friends who gather around me.

"Mar, get up. It could be dangerous!" Miles seethes looking worried.

I give him a blank expression and say "yeah, it looks like such a vicious created"

"Get your torches and pitchforks folks" Addie adds swinging an arm around Miles who rolls his eyes at our antics.

"Can we keep it?" I stick my bottom lip out looking to Theo and Cam. They both look at each other and then back at me.

"No" they say in unison.

"Why not? I need a friend"

"What are we?" Asher asks crossing his arms over his chest.

"You" I point at him "are a big-headed, egoistic, small minded jerk"

"Harsh" he places a hand over his chest pretending to be sad.

"The rest of you are just temporary fillers until I find my true best friend which- by the way- is this dog"

"Is that so?" Brianna raises a brow.

"Very" the dog barks and licks my face again.

"Don't worry Bri, you still have the better twin" Theo tells her wrapping an arm around her.

"Jake! Oh thank goodness you found him!" A small girl runs up to us holding a leash and clicking it on the caller.

"He's yours?" I question as Miles helps me stand up.

"Yeah, got him for my birthday" she sends me a gapped tooth smile.

"How do I know your not lying?"

"Marlee!" Cameron and Miles seethe slapping my arm.

"What? I don't trust her" I look straight at the little girl who challenges me with her eyes.

"She's like 6" Asher scoffs shaking his head.

"So? She's suspicious" me and the little girl have a stare off. My eyes water and eventually I have to blink. She laughs and sticks her tongue out.

Little brat!

"Let's go" Brianna urges grabbing my arm.

"But what about the dog?!"

"You mean my dog?" The girl challenges crossing her arms over her chest.

"Listen here you little-" before I can finish my sentence Miles slaps a hand over my mouth and Cam and Theo grab my under arms and drag me away. I try to squirm out of their grip as Brianna apologizes to the girl.

When we get to the baseball field they set me down on the bleachers. "Assholes."

Crossing my arms I turn away from all of my friends.

"Marlee, you can't possibly be upset" Miles says sitting next to me and wrapping an arm around me.

"You were arguing with a 6 year old" Asher deadpans fixing his baseball cap.

"She wasn't 6, she was 5" I correct him.

"That's worse!" Addie exclaims with a small laugh.

"And she was egging me on"

"By trying to get her dog back?"

"Shut up Cameron"

"Not a chance Marlee"

The boys go into the field and start practicing. Brianna, Addie and I all settle onto the bleachers talking and booing the boys.

"So then she asked me to be her girlfriend" Addie tells us. Brianna squeals hugging her, Addie stays stiff in the hug.

"What did you do?" I ask propping my feet up.

"Broke up with her of course" Addie scoffs. Brianna gasps brushing a piece of brown hair behind her ear and slaps Addies arm.

"Why?!"

"She wanted to be serious" Addies words full of disgust.

"Commitment issues at the finest" I chirp pulling a piece of her hot pink hair. Her black hair had random strips of bright pink, her newest experiment.

"Says you ms. I can't trust anyone besides myself" she mocks and I shove her.

"Hey girls! Stop gossiping and cheer us on!" Theo shouts, sweat dripping down his head.

"Why would we cheer on the loosing team?" I yell back. He flips me off before getting hit with a ball by Asher. Cameron falls onto his knees form laughing so hard and Miles is bent over basically in tears.

"Idiots" Addie mutters rolling her eyes.

"Total idiots" Brianna agrees.

"Don't I know it"

"Why were you talking to him?!" His angry eyes meet mine.

"Because he was asking for directions?" I reply with attitude immediately knowing it was a mistake.

"You're not supposed to talk to other guys!" He shouts his chest heaving.

"I'm sorry I didn't know you owned me." I cross my arms over my chest raising an eyebrow. I feel a harsh pain in my stomach and I double over.

Wishing more than anything I could just end thing, end it all. But I can't. I can't let him hurt my family or my friends so instead I take the punches.

I fly straight up, breathing heavily. My heart pounds in my chest and there's a ringing in my ears as my eyes adjust to the darkness. Once I recognize my room I relax but my good mood from the earlier day gone.

And so was sleep.

Everyone says it gets better with time but shouldn't a year be enough? I just want to escape it all, for it to stop. I stand up and look in the mirror.

Instead of me I see 15 year old me, scared, bloody, bruised and feeling completely alone. I thought I was getting better. The and thoughts in the back of my head became quieter and quieter but I realized they were still there.

The rest of the night was spent staring at my celling feeling sick to my stomach and a large headache forming from how fast my brain was running. Soon enough the sun was up and so were my brothers.

I heard mom leave around 5 am for a shift at work but she was home for dinner last night and we spent the entire evening together which was a plus.

Theo comes trotting into my room on FaceTime with someone. I hear Asher and Miles first and then Cam. Theo plops onto my bed taking my pillow and placing it under his head.

"Sure, make yourself at home." I mutter bitterly.

"Serious question" he says turning to me.

"Don't listen to him!" Miles shouts over the phone "I tried to stop them"

"Shut up!" Asher scolds Miles, the pair start arguing and Cameron scolds them.

"Are things on fire or is fire on things?" Theo asks me with wide eyes. I process his words thinking silently for a minute.

"Fires on things" I declare earning a high five from my brother and a cheer from Miles.

"I knew you had some purpose!" Theo exclaims ruffling my hair.

"Thanks Marlee" Miles sends me a thumbs up. Cameron and Asher glare at me.

"You're revolting" Asher grumbles.

"Funny, that's what your mom said when she had you" I retort flipping him off.

"You suck Mar" Cam grumbles shaking his head at me.

"And you swallow" I wink. Theo and Miles both burst out laughing and I even see Asher hide his smile. I fake laugh but it's not real, none of them ever are anymore.