"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself,"

~Henry Miller

After dinner Ashton and Calum headed home telling Michael and Luke that they'd be picking them up at noon tomorrow. Liz said she needed to finish the things she had been trying to do before Michael was beaten. And it was just Luke and Michael home.

Michael hadn't expected an opportunity to present itself so quickly, but he wanted this. He wanted it more than he wanted anything in the world. He wanted it more then he wanted to die. It was why he was still there.

So when the door clicked shut behind Liz Michael was on top of Luke sucking on his neck and any exposed skin he could find. The blonde was surprized but he forced Michael's lips onto his own and the kiss grew heated fast, but Michael made sure it wasn't sloppy or rushed. Michael poured his heart into it and he could feel Luke doing the same. The tenderness in how they touched each other gently, the way their tongues caressed the other. It was sweet and loving and passionate. Michael walked Luke back towards the stairs and they had to stop in order to get up them safely.

"Luke,"

"Yeah?"

"I want you,"

The blondes eyes widen in realization "A-are you s-sure? I-I don't w-want you to do anything you don't want to,"

"I want every inch of you," Michael responded to Luke's stuttering.

"You - oh f*ck,"

"That's what I'm planning Luke,"

The blonde blushed fiercely and Michael locked the door of his bedroom just in case. Michael was tired of being submissive. He let his dad beat him and him mum touch him with hardly a word of complaint, but with Luke he didn't have to be submissive. Luke was totally a bottom anyways.

"You're okay with that right?" Michael asked. He knew that if Luke said no he would stop.

"Yeah," Luke breathed.

"Do you top?" Michael asked just in case. Luke shook his head and his cheeks darkened a little more. "Good,"

Michael kissed Luke's neck and the blonde tilted his head giving Michael full access. He loved submissive Michael, but confident Michael was sexy as hell. Luke let Michael leave deep bruises all along his neck and collar bone before yanking the boys head up so it was lips on lips.

"I love you," Michael told him between kisses.

"I love you," came Luke's response.

Both boys meant it whole heartedly, but neither quite understood exactly how much the other meant it. Michael was determined to show Luke exactly how much he did.

Michael's hands slid under Luke's shirt and lifted it off the blonde. He wasn't extraordinarily muscular, but Luke had defined muscles all along his chest and across his back. Michael was eager to mark it. His lips pressed kisses on the boys skin and his tongue drew designs finally Michael began sucking gently on his skin biting softly every so often. Luke tightened his grip on Michael's hair and moaned.

Michael's lips ghosted across the edge of Luke's skinny jeans and Luke's hard-on pressed firmly against him. Michael let his tongue trail along the edge and Luke squirmed underneath him.

"Stop it, Michael," Luke groaned he didn't enjoy being teased like that.

Michael smiled and slid down Luke's skinny jeans helping the boy wriggle out of them. Luke then sat his legs lazily crossed and his hair a hot mess biting gently on his swollen pink lips. "Why are you so irresistible?" Michael asked the younger boy.

Before Luke had a chance to respond Michael was guiding his hands to the edge of his shirt. Luke pulled it off and took in the sight of Michael's beaten chest. He was almost proper weight and that much was most definitely clear. His stitches were somehow still intact though the surrounding skin was swollen and red. A large portion of his chest was bruised purple. To many the sight would be repulsive, but to Luke it was Michael, and therefore absolute beauty.

This time it was Luke kissing Michael's chest he was gentle and rough at the same time and he was driving Michael insane. The blonde left love bites scattered along Michael's porcelain skin and helped him out of his pants as well.

It was simply the thin material of their boxers separating them, but neither boy rushed anything. Everything was perfect. They were kissing again and this time it was Michael in control. It was Michael and Luke together. Michael grinded down on the blonde lying under him and after a moment Luke was raising his hips to meet Michael.

"I love you," Michael told him.

"I love you," Luke told him.

And then Michael dared to ask the question, "Forever?"

"Forever," Luke confirmed, but Michael still felt unbelievably vulnerable.

"Forever, ever?"

Luke laughed, "Forever, ever,"

Michael kissed him sweetly and slid off his boxers. Luke helped Michael take off his own and passed him a condom and lube from a drawer. Michael slipped on the condom and kissed any exposed skin he could reach which in this situation was nearly all of it.

Orgasms, highs, moans and whispered sweet words of love later and the two boys were entangled under the sheets of the bed. Luke was stroking an exhausted Michael's skin and humming softly.

"Luke?" Michael asked barely coherent. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what, baby?"

"Forever, ever. You meant it right? You're not going to leave now that we've had sex?"

"I meant it, Mikey. I wasn't in it for the sex. It was just a bonus,"

Those were the words Michael was waiting for, as soon as they were said he was asleep, head on Luke's chest. And in a second submissive Michael was back, but it didn't matter to Luke. He loved them both. Luke held the boy to his body as he slept and quickly dozed off himself.

Michael woke up in Luke's arms the next morning. He was thoroughly surprized not only that he had slept peacefully through the night but at the fact that Luke had not let him when he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. A part of him knew the blonde wasn't like that, but the larger part had him convinced nobody would ever want to stick around.

Last night was at the front of his mind and Michael was truly content. He was in Luke's arms and he was one thing closer to the one thing he wanted more than anything except the boy asleep next to him.

Luke meant the world to Michael, but Michael's perception of the world was not a positive one. Luke meant far more than that to Michael. Michael loved words, but even he could not find a way to use them to express how much Luke truly meant. He only hoped that he had done a thorough job in showing him last night.

He could still feel traces of the boy all over him. He knew there would be marks from the boys nails when they dug into Michael's back, but the ones that truly counted to Michael could not be seen. They were the spots Luke's hands trailed across, the spots where Luke had brought him closer, needing more of the boy. He could still feel Luke's hands in his hair and roaming his entire body. He could still hear echoes of the noises the blonde made in his head. And Michael was elated. The voice in his head couldn't touch him, because Luke was completely his.

And then his mood dampened slightly because Michael knew he had made the choice to leave him, because even though Luke was more than enough to make Michael stay, the broken boy was, well, broken. Luke would leave him for someone better eventually and then Michael would be left wondering why he hadn't stopped himself before the pain got so bad. Michael knew how it worked. But he also knew the saying 'if you love it let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be,' Luke needed to let him go. If Michael's suicide attempt didn't work then perhaps Michael would give in to Luke. But then Luke would leave him for someone else, and Michael would leave life behind.

Because that was Michael's only option. Or at least that's the only option he could see.

But for that moment, Michael pushed the thoughts aside and let the elated feeling return. He didn't quite feel alive, but he was most certainly happy. He was halfway to another of his last three wishes already. He knew the first two would not be all too difficult as they both had to do with things both he and Luke wanted, but the third thing. The third thing was the one that would be difficult. It was the one Michael created to give Luke time to save him. It was the one that included secluding himself from everyone so they stop caring. He wasn't sure how to approach it at all.

So instead he decided he would worry about that later. Because right now in Luke's arms things were almost perfect. Almost. But almost always seemed to be the world screwing things up. Michael almost told Luke everything. He almost wanted to live. He almost wanted a lot. He almost did a lot. Almost. But he didn't. And things were not perfect, for Michael, they never would be.

He didn't necessarily want to wake Luke, but he definitely wanted the blonde to wake up, so he began softly tracing all of his flaws and imperfections. Michael's fingers trailed along Luke's jaw and cheeks, across his cheeks and to the corners of his eyes, along his forehead and hairline. Michael brushed his fingers across his lips and he felt Luke's breathing hitch giving the boy away.

Michael smiled and kissed his neck. "Morning, princess,"

Luke's eyes snapped open, "Princess?" he squeaked.

"Mhmm," Michael hummed his eyes sparkling. Luke's breathing was laboured to Michael's surprize and pleasure and the smaller boy smiled warmly at him. "My princess," Michael emphasized the word 'my'.

"Y-yours?"

"All mine. And I'm all yours," Michael told him.

"Honestly, Michael you kill me," Luke complained. "One minute you're all cute and cuddly and submissive and my little kitten and the next you're this extra confident, superhot man and I'm so in love with you both,"

"I don't have split personality disorder Luke," Michael grumbled.

"I know, Michael. You're just being you, and I love it,"

Michael rolled his eyes and tucked his nose into Luke's neck and felt the boy laugh. "See? Now you're like a kitten again,"

Michael flushed crimson and Luke kissed the top of his head softly as there was a knock on the door.

"I'm heading to work. Ashton's mum called and said that he and Calum are staying home for the rest of the week and I've decided it's only fair if I let you two as well. I'll be bringing back all your work however and keeping tabs. I thought you deserved a break after all you've been through recently. Besides Michael's not cleared to go back to school yet," Liz said through the door.

"Thanks mum," Luke called out. "I love you,"

"I love you too, Luke. Michael, I love you as well,"

Michael's eyes watered and his throat tightened. "I love you too, Liz," he managed.

Luke made circles on Michael's hand with his thumb and smiled at the boy. Liz's shoes could be heard leaving and eventually the front door opened and closed.

In the span of twenty-four hours Michael had knocked out two of the three things he had wanted to do. He had every inch of Luke. And then proceeded to feel happy and even alive. There was only one thing standing in his way. And as Michael kissed Luke's cheek his heart fractured because he knew he had to end things between them to save the blonde pain. He had to close himself off from Ashton and Calum, block out Liz. But Michael knew that in order to spare Luke as much pain as he could, he had to break things off. And he wasn't sure if there was a gentle way of doing it.

"I'm hungry," Luke groaned.

"So go make food," Michael muttered into Luke's shoulder.

"I don't want to go alone," Luke whined.

Michael laughed and got out of the bed. He could feel Luke staring at him as he slid into a pair of the blonde's boxers and one of Luke's sweatshirts. "Are you coming or what?" he asked spinning to face the blonde who was still under the covers. Luke crawled out and pulled on boxers of his own along with one of Michael's T-shirts.

Luke joined Michael and took his hand pulling him down the stairs and into the kitchen where they both looked around. Luke wasn't exactly a chef and scrambled eggs and toast was Michael's full menu.

"Um...do you know how to make pancakes?" Luke asked.

Michael shook his head and smiled. "Ten bucks on google," he smirked.

Luke laughed and snatched his phone off the counter searching up a recipe. "So we need a bowl to start obviously. And flour, baking soda, eggs milk, and some other stuff...so, let's get started yeah?"

Michael nodded and fished out a bowl as Luke hunted down all the ingredients they needed. Eventually they had everything laid out and were simply standing there unsure of how to proceed any further. They hovered over Luke's phone and tried to measure out everything properly. While Luke was dumping flour into the bowl Michael grabbed a small handful of it and threw it at the blonde who froze. "Michael, I'm going to hope you didn't do that,"

Michael giggled and Luke turned around grabbing some flour of his own. Michael gasped as it hit him and covered his face. Luke laughed and soon enough they were chucking handfuls at each other blindly.

"Stop it!" Michael shrieked as Luke threw yet another fistful of flour at him.

"You want to make me?" Luke teased.

"Well if I have to,"

Michael reached up moving forwards and kissed Luke slowly, and passionately. Luke molded into him and his arms wound around Michael drawing him closer. Michael bit softly on Luke's bottom lip and the blonde moaned into Michael's mouth. Luke's hands started to move up and under Michael's shirt when the boy in black shoved flour down Luke's shirt.

"Honestly what am I going to do with you?" Luke asked after he got the majority of the flour out of his shirt. Or Michael's shirt to be precise. Michael pretended to be thinking hard about this question.

"Make me pancakes and feed me?" Michael asked.

Luke laughed and kissed him again. Neither boy wanted the moment to pass, but with a knock on the door it did. Luke and Michael raced to the door and opened it to see Calum and Ashton who were both very confused to see the two boys covered in flour in their boxers and shirts or in Michael's case sweatshirt.

"Come in!" Luke greeted. "We're trying to make pancakes,"

Calum laughed as he and Ashton walked in and Michael rose an eyebrow in question. "I know how well Luke cooks, so I'm praying that you can cook better then he can,"

Michael shook his head as the kitchen came into view and Ashton's jaw dropped. There was flour everywhere and in a bowl was the half made pancake batter.

"You know what? I think you two should go clean up and Cal and I can take care of the pancakes," Ashton said eager to get them out of the kitchen so they wouldn't poison anyone.

Michael and Luke blushed and took each-others hand as they left the kitchen to Ashton's orders.

When Luke dropped his hand and grabbed some clothes off the floor Michael's heart rate went flying. He had managed to last the past few days because he hadn't been alone. He had always been with someone. It had dulled the voice in his head it had made things easier. He knew he would have to cut them out and embrace it eventually, but he was not quite ready. He didn't want Luke to leave him defenceless on his own with only that sick voice. He knew if it was just him he wouldn't be able to resist.

Luke must have sensed Michael's panic because he turned around with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. When he saw Michael's shaking hands things pieced together a little more and Luke grabbed Michael clothes off the ground as well and held them in one hand taking Michael's in his other and swinging them as he walked them to the bathroom. "You didn't think you were showering alone did you?" Luke asked.

Michael felt the terror vanishing because Luke wasn't going to leave him on his own. Luke would never leave him. And it made Michael sick because he knew that he had to leave Luke. It was his only option and the only way for him to spare both himself and Luke more excruciating pain.

"Come on, baby. Hurry up the flours starting to itch," Luke complained.

Michael rolled his eyes and locked the bathroom door undressing under Luke's gaze. He flushed deeply and turned to look at Luke as the blonde slipped out of his own clothes.

The blonde started the shower and they waited for it to heat up just staring lovingly at each other, because no words were necessary. Michael loved Luke and Luke loved Michael. Nothing else mattered. If Luke thought Michael was cuddly and kitten-like before, than post-sex one-thing-left-before-I-commit Michael would quite possibly drive Luke insane. But it was okay, because they loved each-other with everything they had. And when they stepped into the shower together all Michael was thinking of was the boy in front of him. The voice in his head was unable to affect him because Michael was done being submissive. Not when he had Luke to help him take control.