Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Proverb; beauty cannot be judged objectively, for what one person finds beautiful or admirable may not appeal to another.

"Oh! Michael! Are you...you're not okay. You most definitely are not-"

"Mum," Luke cut off Liz's ramblings. "Can you please open the door before you fire off your questions?"

Liz nodded and quickly opened the door Ashton and Luke carried Michael in and Calum trailed nervously after them.

"Cal?" Michael asked.

"Y-yeah?"

"Can you start talking? Just talking. It's a good distraction you know?" Michael mused.

"'Course, um. Did Luke ever tell you about when my shirt got stuck on a tree branch and I was just dangling until the police came?"

Michael shook his head and Luke smiled brushing his fingers across Michael's cheek.

"Luke dared me to climb this old tree for five bucks. So of course I did, but on my way down I got snagged and ended up slipping. Because I was caught I didn't fall, but like, I was hanging like some giant spider or something,"

Calum's a good story teller, Michael thought. His face was so animate and he was moving his hands around to imitate what was happening. He was reliving every moment of the story with Calum even though he had not been there.

"After Luke and Ashton were done taking pictures and laughing their asses of at me, Ash finally called the police and the fire department had to come get me down. My mum grounded me for two weeks because of that,"

"Poor, Calum. Two weeks," Ashton teased.

"Hey!" Calum defended. "You missed me,"

The three boys bounced stories around as Liz cleaned Michael. After nearly an hour the five of them were simply crying on the floor together because they couldn't stop laughing.

Liz was first to regain control. She wiped her eyes and sighed. "I'll make dinner. Ashton, Calum, tell your mum's you're staying here for dinner," and with that she disappeared.

Michael sobered up next and watched the boys struggling to calm down in amusement. Ashton finally got up and left the room still snorting and giggling as he went. Calum kept stopping before looking at Luke and laughing again so Michael grabbed Luke's hand and pulled him from the room.

"I bet you he's still laughing," Luke said managing to quiet in seclusion.

Michael breathed out a laugh, but his eyes were on Luke's lips. They quirked up in a smile when Luke caught onto Michael's stare.

"See something you like?" Luke asked.

Michael knew it was supposed to make him blush so he ignored Luke's smirk and responded. "Hell yes," and Michael pressed his lips onto Luke's.

Their lips moved together in a dance that could never be replicated and Michael wove his hands into Luke's hair pulling him impossibly closer and deepening the kiss. Tongues were battling, but Michael let Luke take control eventually. He was new to this after all.

Luke started walking Michael against the wall when the door to the small hall they were in opened and Ashton walked in.

Michael moved to jump away from Luke, but he was trapped in his embrace and simply hid his nose in Luke's neck effectively hiding his ruby tinged cheeks. Luke's chest rumbled with laughter as Michael did this and laughed even harder at Ashton's red cheeks.

"Um, I can just, I can go home if, if you guys want to um...finish?" Ashton offered.

"It's fine we were going to head back in soon anyways," Luke lied.

"Sure you were. Mikey? You don't have to hide. Don't hide from the love!"

Michael blushed even harder and squealed like a school girl when Luke pushed him away as Ashton pulled him off the blonde. Michael however, clung tightly to Luke and refused to let go even though both boys were most definitely stronger. He knew they were being gentle after witnessing his dad beat down on him and if he was honest it was hurting him badly to be in the position he was in, but sometimes, he realized, it didn't matter how much pain you were in, mentally, physically or emotionally, as long as the people around you cared enough. And Michael was stunned to find himself saying that he was surrounded by four people that had the biggest hearts he had ever seen.

"Calum! Help us!" Ashton laugh shouted.

Michael laughed and struggled to get closer to Luke as Calum opened the door and stepped into the hallway already grinning.

Unexpectedly he tackled Ashton to the ground and Michael nearly flew into a laughing Luke Hemmings. Their noses would have been touching if Michael were just a bit taller, but the smaller boy grinned and stretched up to kiss him again.

"Get a room!" Ashton groaned.

Michael gave him the finger and Luke laughed as Michael kissed him again, eventually giving up on his lips and moving to his neck.

"Michael, Ash and Cal-"

Michael sucked gently and Luke cut off with a groan weaving his fingers through Michael's thin hair.

"Liz!" Calum yelled. "Liz! Michael and Luke are having sex!"

Liz opened the door after a few seconds and smiled sweetly. "Calum, dear. In sex the clothes are on the floor,"

Ashton burst into laughter as Calum flushed scarlet, Michael still sucking on a flustered Luke's neck.

"And Michael, make sure you have an appetite for dinner please,"

Michael pulled away from Luke's neck to the blondes relief and smiled at Liz, blushing faintly, "Yes, ma'am,"

Liz rolled her eyes and backed out of the room leaving the door open as she left.

"Um so, should Cal and I leave you guys to it?" Ashton questioned.

Michael could feel Luke's hard-on against his thigh and felt a surge of pride.

"That's alright. It think we were done," Michael said starting to move away from Luke. The blonde squeaked and gripped Michael's arms keeping him in place.

Michael began laughing ridiculously as Ashton and Calum watched in confusion.

"Go ahead," Luke told them attempting to play it off as polite.

Neither of the other two boys complained and they left Michael and Luke in the hallway. The second they were gone Luke shut the door and flicked Michael's cheek.

"I hate you" he whispered.

"I love you more, Luke,"

The blonde groaned. "Where's this confidence coming from?" he asked cautiously.

Michael knew the real reason was that he was eager to complete the three things, but instead he shrugged. "Sorry," he offered up.

"Don't be sorry, baby. I f*cking love it," Michael blushed and Luke grinned. "But I love innocent, shy Michael just as much," Michael flushed a deeper shade, "And I will never stop loving him," Michael was bright crimson and his nose was tucked into Luke's neck.

He breathed in the boy scent and let his guard slip away. This was Luke. He didn't need his guard around Luke.

"Why are you so perfect?" Luke asked when Michael wound him arms around him.

"'M not,"

"Yes you are, Mikey. Why can't you see that? You are my perfect. Everything about you drives me insane," Luke placed Michael's hand over his racing heart. "You do this to me, Michael. Only you. You are so perfect, and beautiful, and, and, God Michael there aren't even words,"

"I'm. Not," Michael took the time to annunciate each word clearly holding onto an idea that Luke just didn't understand what he had said the first time.

"Dammit, Michael! Why won't you understand? Why can't you see yourself the way I see you? Please Michael, just...just try. For me?"

"Try what Luke? Try not hating myself? I'm trying! I'm trying for you, Luke. But every single second it gets harder and harder because there are so many things to hate,"

"And so many things to love. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perfection is a perception. It's you Michael. It will always come back to you. You have to want it. You have to make it happen. You, Michael. Only you," Tears were staining Luke's cheeks. Luke's perfect, angelic cheeks.

"It's pretty damn hard to want to get better when all you want is to die! I want to die, Luke! I want to die. But I can't stand the thought of leaving you. You are keeping me alive when there's a million things trying to kill me. And one day you'll finally understand that I'm too f*cked up and that I can't be fixed and you'll leave. You'll pack my bags and kick me out of your life. Nobody wants me once they understand. Luke, I don't want me. I want to die, that's all I want. But for some reason, just the mere thought of you chases it all away. Just hearing your name and it's like I'm not in the situation I'm in. Just something the colour of your hair and I'm over the moon and I'm not thinking about how there's no oxygen and I'll be dead. I'm thinking about the fact that I think I'm walking on air. That I'm finally weightless. And I can't lose that. Not yet. I can't lose you,"

Both boys were too busy crying and arguing about whether Michael's life was worth something to realize they had drawn a crowd of the other three people present in the house.

"Don't. Don't you ever say - don't even think for a second - how could I ever leave you? I want a life with you. But you don't want to be alive right?"

"Luke-"

"No I get it. I'm not enough for you. I can't make you stay. You want to die. You want to leave us all behind because you're f*cking blind. You want to kill yourself because you've known hatred for so long you feel like all you deserve is nothing. You want to rip us apart because it's the only option you have. But you're wrong. You just can't see the other options because you're too focused on the hate. If you really want to die then none of this even matters right? You'll kill yourself anyways. But I'm betting on the hope that some part of you wants to live. I'm betting on the part that's wants to be loved and to get married. The part that wants a life that wants to live. I need you to stay, Michael. But if you need to go, nothing I can do will stop you,"

Michael sobbed. Only sobbed. He couldn't form a coherent thought let alone a sentence. His mind was in utter chaos. Luke's words were repeating themselves over and over, that twisted voice was trying to contradict every sentence. There was the mantra of words playing; Inconsequential. Nugatory. Inutile. Reprobate. Miscreant. Irreparable. Despondent. Moronic. Irrelevant. Repugnant. But there was another one at nearly the same volume chanting different words. Words like perfect and beautiful. Everything was mixing and overlapping and just when Michael thought he had a grasp on something it slipped away.

"Stop," Michael said.

He wasn't talking to Luke and the blonde knew this. He was talking to his own head. He needed it to stop. His eyes widened in realization when one thing clicked. Cut.

Hadn't he just told Luke he was trying? He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. But it was so overwhelming. So instead he looked straight at Luke and tried something else. It had worked earlier and he could only hope it would work again.

"Talk,"

"How do you feel?" the question was instant and Michael's answer was entirely truthful.

"Numb. I feel numb. Please change it. Anything but numb because I'm trying,"

"Imagine this Mikey. Your boyfriend's mum found you. Lifeless in the bathroom. She's crying, screaming, trying desperately to bring you back, because you can't be gone. When the ambulance gets there they tell her it's too late. You're dead. You got what you wanted, but now everyone else has to change. She has to call your boyfriend but she's too much of a wreck. So she texts him telling him to come home immediately. He's confused when he sees the medics running around. And then something clicks. He runs to his mum and begs because it can't be true. You can't be dead, you wouldn't have just left him there. But you are dead, and you did. He can't function. He loved you more than anyone had ever loved something before and more than someone ever will. And now you're gone and he can't do anything. He has to tell your best friends. They can't seem to make anything any better. There's craters in all of them all because you had to die. Your boyfriend's mum has to go to therapy because of what she saw. Your boyfriend should be going to but he can't be bothered to do anything at all. He tries to drink the pain away but that reminds him of your dad. The drugs remind him of your mum and he's back where he started. He's depressed now. He hates himself because he couldn't make you stay. Then his wrists start to look like yours and eventually he joins you because living without you hurt too damn much,"

Michael's doubled over hands gripping at his chest. He gasping for breath, but he's no longer numb. He's feeling and he hates it, but he knows it's better than numb.

"Michael,"

The broken boys meets the blued-eyed angels gaze and he practically crumbles. He flings himself around Luke and just cries. "I don't want to leave you," Michael sobs. And Luke's heart is breaking because Michael isn't saying that he doesn't want to die which means that he still does because Michael won't lie to Luke.

"But you still want to die?"

Michael confirms Luke's thoughts with a brief nod and the blonde can't seem to do anything but hold Michael tighter as if holding him to himself will keep him there.

"We, we can get through this. I promise, Mikey. Just, just hold on. For me?"

Michael nods, "For you, Luke. Anything for you,"

"I love you, Michael,"

Another sob rips its way up and out of Michael and he removes his head from Luke's neck and looks him dead in the eye, "I love you, Luke," he tells him with watery eyes and a sad smile, but it's the truth and it's all Michael still has; words, the truth, and Luke Hemmings.

And Michael has never wanted to die more, not once in his life. But he's never had so much to live for. And now Michael knows it's about endurance and ignorance. If he can just last long enough, if he can block out the voices for long enough. If he can do both of those things for long enough, Michael knows he might just be okay. But it's hard. The hardest thing he's ever done, but for Luke? For Luke he'd try anything.

And Luke was right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And Michael needs to learn how to see it.