after the whole scene with marissa, austin decides it's time to take a break. he says we all must be back in five minutes.

i go on mute and sigh. i can't believe that just happened.

almost immediately, lindsay starts calling me. i pick up quickly.

"val?" she says, her voice gentle and comforting.

"linds," i reply, on the verge of tears.

"your voice is trembling."

"not surprised."

"that wasn't okay and i'm sorry that happened."

"no, it wasn't okay. but i'm not about to cry because of her, i'm upset because that happened on live twitch and everyone probably hates me." suddenly, lindsay lets out a laugh.

"and why is that funny?" i ask angrily, my mood shifting quicker than i realize.

"miss girl, are you joking?" she says. i can hear a smile in her voice. "#valeriesupport is trending on twitter, for crying out loud. everyone is backing you up."

"huh?" i put lindsay on speaker and open twitter. sure enough, #valeriesupport is number seven on trending.

"i'm so confused..." i say as i scroll through the tweets. they are filled with kind words and screenshots from the stream.

"they love you, val," lindsay says. "it's okay. you weren't in the wrong."

i nod, even though she can't see me.

"it's been four minutes," lindsay continues. "go get some water, calm down a little bit, and go back into the call. you got this, okay?"

"okay," i respond, taking deep breaths.

"i love you. you'll be okay."

"love you, too."

i grab the water bottle off of my desk and drink almost half of it. i calm down afterwards, and austin calls everyone back to the show. i look around at the three other girls left.

me, amanda, serena, and isabella.

amanda's definitely my favorite out of the bunch. she's really sweet and fun, and very talkative. there's never an awkward moment when she's talking.

serena is funny. she's always cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. she matches tommy's energy really well.

isabella is quiet, but she's drop dead gorgeous. she has shoulder length, straight, light brown hair and amber eyes. perfect smile, perfect facial features, perfect everything.

and honestly? i like them all. if any of them win, i'd be happy for them.

"now we're down to the final four," austin announces. "this next question will be a fun one, and hopefully a lot less intense than that last one. ladies, if you were to get rid of one of tommy's friends, who would you get rid of and why?"

i bit the inside of my cheek.

i have no idea who any of his friends are.

"isabella, can you start us off?" austin asks.

"god, that's a hard one," isabella says smiling. "if i had to choose one... i don't want to sound mean... but probably technoblade because i feel like he'd kill me in my sleep." everyone starts laughing, and the tension from earlier is lifted.

"not techno!" tommy shouts.

"THE BLADE!" tubbo whines.

"serena?" austin prompts.

"quackity," she says without hesitation.

"NO! BIG Q!" tommy cries.

"yes, your precious 'big q' is out. he's crazy, i swear. he'd be the type of person to knock on my door at four in the morning, start cursing in spanish, and beg to stay at my house because he's running from the police because they caught him selling cocaine."

"okay..." tommy says. "true... but-"

"there's not but. just true."

"valerie?" austin asks. "who would you choose?"

"i'm sorry, but i literally don't know any of tommy's friends," i say, laughing. "i meant it when i said i had no idea who he was."

"think back to that one stream you watched," tommy says. "i'm sure i spoke to SOMEONE you found annoying."

"ehhh, well i guess georgenotfound kinda sucks," i say. "his minecraft skin is so boring. and he's always saying stuff like 'boxed like a fish' and 'dog water.' whatever that means. and he's always screaming and crying and 'popping off.'"

the entire call erupts with laughter.

"POOR GOGY!" wilbur shouts through wheezes.

"GOGY MUST BE SO SAD NOW," tubbo screams. i sit back in my chair, laughing, but also insanely confused.

"i have no idea what a 'googie' is but okay," i say. the laughter is even louder now.

"SHE JUST PRONOUNCED IT GOOGIE!" wilbur shouts. i look over at tommy, who's not saying anything. just sitting back in his chair, struggling to find time in between cackles to breathe.

"should we bring georgenotfound into the call to see what he thinks of this?" austin asks in one breath.

"no no, he's probably asleep-" wilbur erupts into another fit of laughter.

"DON'T DISTURB HIS BEAUTY SLUMBER!" tubbo shouts.

the call remains like this for another five minutes. a lot of "googie" jokes and sleeping jokes. finally, we move on and austin asks amanda who she would remove from the friend group.

"badboyhalo. one hundred percent," she answers immediately.

"me too, amanda," tommy says.

"why bbh?" wilbur asks.

"because i swear like a god damn sailor, and i can't have him shouting 'language' at me every two seconds."

"MAKES SENSE!" tubbo says.

out of the four of us, serena is the only one not in the bottom three. after austin announces amanda is safe, it's between isabella and me.

i'm not too worried, but the nerves are still there.

"valerie," austin says. "i'm sorry..."

my fingers go numb. sorry?

did i just get eliminated?

"i'm sorry THAT YOU MADE IT! isabella, it's the end of the road for you."

my heart starts beating again. phew.

isabella gives a swift nod and a smile.

"that's okay, thank you so much for this opportunity," she says. because of how solemn she sounds, no one was surprised when austin announces she chose love.

"the top three!" austin announces. "congratulations guys, you all made it to the final round before the one on one dates with tommyinnit. remember everyone watching, have your cashapp at ready in case cashapp decides to drop a code during the stream!"

"ladies." austin starts flipping through papers and humming to himself. "the final question is..." there's a long dramatic pause.

"what makes YOU think you're the best choice for tommy?"

i sit back and think. i hate questions like this.

"serena? start us off."

"i think i'm the best choice for tommy because i know how to respect him and i trust him. i'm not clingy and i'd be happy to give him his own space to hang out with 'the boys.' i also like to think i have a pretty good sense of humor," serena says. tommy nods.

"valerie," austin says. "your turn."

"well, i'll admit i'm not very good at answering these types of questions, but i'll try my best," i say.

i did not just say that out loud.

"i think our personalities match really well, tommy. and i always thought you were really nice and funny, but being on this show for almost four hours has really proven that. you've made me laugh and i look for that in a partner. you seem genuine and honest, too, and that's really great." i laugh at how awkward i sound. "and, hey, if i win and you decide you don't actually want a romantic relationship, that's totally cool. i'm down to have a platonic relationship with you and just be friends, if that's what you'd want. i just think we have great chemistry and i would never want to throw that away."

tommy smiles widely. he covers up his mouth with his hand and adjusts his hair.

is he blushing?

"finally, amanda," austin says. "why are you the best match for tommy?"

"because we're both insanely cool and we'd be the power couple of the internet," amanda replies dryly. everyone laughs.

"no, but actually, i think you're really cool, tommy. and i know i've been joking and acting sarcastic most of this show, but i honestly think you're a cool guy. we could make great content together, too. plus, you're really good-looking, so..."

"thanks," tommy says with a chuckle, his face still tinted red.

"those were all pretty good answers, wouldn't you agree, chommy?" austin says.

"oh yeah, for sure." tommy rubs his chin. "this will be a hard one."

"you're both really great," serena says meekly to amanda and me. i smile.

"yeah, i agree," i say. "you two are really cool."

"baddest bitches in town," amanda says with a smile. i let out a light laugh.

after a few minutes of light chatter, austin announces that tommy has made his decision.

"first, i'll announce who's moving on to the final round, one of the girls that is going to have a one on one date with tommyinnit..." austin says. i start to hold my breath.

"valerie..." austin says. i look up. "congratulations, you made it to the final round."

i smile widely. i did it. top two.

"thank you so much," i say.

"the other girl that will be moving on is..." everyone holds their breath, including me.

"amanda. congratulations, you're our other finalist. serena, i'm sorry but it's the end of the road for you." serena nods solemnly.

"that's cool, that's cool. i get it," she says with a weak smile.

"serena chose..." austin pauses. "HOST!"

serena drops the, now obviously fake, smile and howls with laughter.

"WHAT THE HELL?" tommy says. she laughs harder,

"suck it bitch boy!" she laughs loudly and waves goodbye after shouting out her social media.

"no way she just quoted me but replaced 'green boy' with 'bitch boy,'" wilbur says in disbelief.