"this is it, everyone," austin says. "the FINAL two contestants, valerie davis and amanda lilian. how are we feeling, girls?"

"stoked," amanda says, short of breath. she was probably holding her breath before austin announced who was moving on.

"agreed. this has been insane," i say, nodding and moving a piece of hair out of my face.

"the first girl to go on the date will be amanda," austin announces. "valerie, sit tight, you'll go on the date as soon as this first one is over. amanda and tommy, you guys have three minutes." austin starts a timer and i can no longer hear anything.

three minutes? that's it?

what am i supposed to say in three minutes? that's only enough time to get an awkward hello out and a quick goodbye.

before i know it, amanda and tommy's date is over.

"you ready, valerie?" austin asks me.

"ready as i'll ever be," i say with a grin. austin pulls tommy and me into a room together.

"hello, valerie," tommy says the second the timer starts.

"hi, tommy," i say with a smile.

"we only have three minutes so we can't have any awkward silence."

"honestly. why is it only three minutes?"

"no idea. that's not nearly enough time to get to know someone."

"exactly. it should be at least five." tommy nods.

"are those books behind you?" tommy points, motioning for me to look. i turn around and see my small bookshelf full of books.

"yeah! they're my favorites," i say. "you wanna see them?"

"sure." tommy smiles and leans back as i quickly jump up and grab them all.

"okay," i say. "so we have harry potter, the hunger games, the twilight saga-"

"no way," tommy interrupts. "you don't own twilight."

"it's my favorite series!" i exclaim. he buries his face in his hands.

"unironically?" he asks.

"unironically," i confirm.

"you UNIRONICALLY like twilight?"

"i unironically LOVE twilight."

"valerie, if you had told me this earlier, i would've kicked you off LONG ago. i'm not dating someone who unironically enjoys twilight."

"well, what do YOU like then, mr. innit?"

"i don't read. i'm a minecraft streamer, why would i read?"

"do you listen to music? do you watch movies?"

"yes and yes. khai dreams is my favorite artist and i love marvel movies."

"ooh, i love khai dreams," i say, moving the books away from view. tommy perks up.

"no way," he says.

"i do!"

"what's your favorite song?"

"either in love or fantasy, all i need is a close runner up. what about you?"

"all i need is my favorite. i used it as my youtube outro for a long time."

"that's really cool!"

"what other music do you listen to?"

"twenty one pilots is my favorite band, but other than them i listen to glass animals, finneas, arctic monkeys, doja cat-"

"glass animals?" tommy asks, trying not to laugh.

"yes, they're great."

"do you listen to heat waves?"

"i do, that's one of my favorite songs." tommy laughs loudly and i smile, mostly out of confusion.

"is there something i'm missing?" i ask.

"no no, it's fine. nothing at all," tommy says, calming down, but still smiling widely. "anyway, wilbur loves twenty one pilots. you should tell him you like them."

"i will." i smile and look at the timer. "only one minute left, jeez time really does fly."

"it does..." tommy pauses. "i really like talking to you, val."

"thanks," i say, a blush forming on my cheeks. "i really like talking to you, too."

"even if i don't pick you, can we keep in touch?"

my heart rate accelerates.

"for sure."

thirty seconds left.

"so, uh, how's the weather in california?" he asks. i laugh.

"you're seriously asking me about the weather?"

"well, it's 2:45 in the morning over here. i'm sort of out of it." he rubs his eyes.

"oh god. that's rough." i move a piece of hair behind my ear. "well, california is pretty cold, actually. at least, to me it is. i'm sure mid sixties is nowhere near cold for you, though."

"mid sixties?" tommy exclaims. "that's so warm! it's 34 degrees here." i laugh.

ten seconds left.

"thank you for giving me a chance, tommy," i say gently. "it means a lot to me."

five seconds left.

tommy smiles, both of our cheeks turning pink.

two seconds left.

"you're welcome, valerie."

time.

"AND THAT CONCLUDES THE DATES!" austin shouts, making me jump. "now it's time... for the FINAL elimination of the show. tommy, it's time to choose between valerie davis and amanda lilian." tommy shakes his head.

"this is a tough one, austin," tommy says.

"while you're deciding, we're going to give the girls a chance to talk to each other." austin deafens tommy so he can't hear us and let's amanda and me talk.

"so," i say. "hi."

"hey," amanda responds giggling.

"are you excited?"

"i'm STRESSED." we both laugh.

"you and me both, sis."

"did you call me sis?"

"is that bad?" i bite my nails, awaiting her answer.

"i literally love you," amanda says, pointing at me. "austin, she's literally the cutest thing ever. you're eighteen?"

"i am. what about you?" i smile.

"nineteen." i nod.

"i really like your hair..." amanda gushes and feels her ginger hair after i say this.

"you're literally the sweetest thing ever. i feel like most contestants hate each other, but honestly, if you win, i won't even be mad."

"same goes to you." we smile at each other.

"okay, austin, i've made my decision," tommy says suddenly. he taps the keys on his keyboard loudly and sends a discord dm to austin.

"you sure about this, tommy?" austin asks. "there's no going back after this. this is your FINAL decision."

"i'm positive, austin." tommy moves his hair out of his eyes. his eyes, just as blue as ever, look up at the ceiling. he sighs a sigh of... relief? exhaustion? i can't tell.

"before we announce the WINNER of tommyinnit's love or host," austin announces. "make sure to have your cashapp-"

"THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!" amanda interrupts. "THEY ALL HAVE THEIR GOD DAMN CASHAPPS OUT, JUST ANNOUNCE WHO WON!"

"she's not wrong," tubbo says with a laugh.

"almost forgot you were here," tommy says. "tubzo, you've barely spoken!"

"because if i speak, the ladies will fall for ME instead of you. and this is your love or host, big man."

"speaking of love or host..." austin says. "why didn't you want one, tubbo?"

"ehh, it's not really my scene. nothing against you, austin. it's just awkward. googie proved that." he lets out a slight chuckle.

"don't worry, tubbo," wilbur says. "if you had a love or host, it wouldn't be anywhere near as bad as GOOGIE'S." tommy, tubbo, and wilbur burst out laughing.

"not the freaking googie jokes again," i say, holding back a laugh, shielding my eyes with my hands.

"you don't understand how funny that was, valerie," wilbur says. "i swear i've never laughed at something relating to georgenotfound harder."

"i'm flattered." i bat my eyelashes dramatically.

"okay, okay, enough with the mindless chatter," austin says. "are you guys READY to find out who won tommyinnit's love or host?"

"YES!" everyone shouts in the call at the same time.

"here we go..." austin says. "doc, hand me the paper."

my heart beats a million times per second. i anxiously await for austin to announce the winner. i hear lots of crinkling paper, probably building up suspense.

i put my hands in a prayer position up to my lips. amanda chews on her thumb nail. she seems nervous as well.

after a long pause, austin finally says something.

"AMANDA!" austin yells.

i smile softly and start clapping gently.

i know i said i'd be happy no matter what, but when reality actually hits, it sucks a little bit.

"IT'S THE END OF THE ROAD FOR YOU!" austin shouts. my eyes widen and my clapping comes to an abrupt halt.

wait.

but that means...

"CONGRATULATIONS, VALERIE! YOU'VE JUST WON TOMMYINNIT'S LOVE OR HOST!"

my hands fly up to my mouth. i can hear my parents cheering and hollering downstairs.

i just won tommyinnit's love or host.