oh you've got to be kidding me.

bottom three? the nerves start kicking in. i had managed to avoid being in the bottom three for the past three rounds, and now it's happening.

in the end, it's jules, serena, and me in the bottom three. i dig my nails into my palm as the knot in my stomach tightens. what if this was the end of the road for me?

"it's time to plead your cases," austin says. "serena, you're up first."

"oh god, well..." she speaks, but i'm not listening.

"very well," austin says when she finishes, snapping me out of my trance. "valerie, it's your turn."

"okay, well..." i sigh. i wasn't ready for this. "honestly, tommy, i feel like we click really well together. i think we have great chemistry and i enjoy talking to you. we seem to have a lot in common and i think we could find even more things we have in common if you gave me a chance..."

tommy nods and raises and eyebrow.

i hope that was good enough.

"tommy has made his decision," austin says after jules says why she should stay on. "and the one getting kicked off the show is..."

austin draws out the answer for way longer than my liking. i close my eyes and wince. the suspense is killing me.

"JULES! i'm sorry it's the end of the road for you," austin shouts. i open my eyes and exhale. i hadn't even realized i was holding my breath. "tommy, what led to your decision?"

"take a guess, jules," tommy replies, his face neutral.

"the comments about your height?" she replies with a snicker.

"bingo." tommy leans back and crosses his arms. i bite my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing.

"i have no regrets," jules says, flipping tommy off. i put my hand over my mouth and wheeze.

"she chose host," tommy replies, rolling his eyes.

"jules did, indeed, choose host," austin confirms.

"and with that i'm outta here. see ya later, suckers." jules exits the room. a shame, too, considering i really liked her.

"ladies, we're going to bring another guest onto the show..." austin says. "everyone please give a warm welcome to wilbur soot!" i raise my eyebrows. tommy mentioned his name earlier, didn't he?

"hello austin, and hello mr. tommyinnit..." wilbur says. i can hear him smirking through his smooth british accent. "how are you coping with all these women surrounding you? is it the time of your life?"

"no different than usual, will," tommy responds nonchalantly. "i'm used to this."

"wilbur, we brought you on because you have a question for the girls," austin says.

"yeah, and it's an important question," wilbur says. "amanda. what is your favorite color?"

"uh... red?" amanda says, raising an eyebrow.

"okay. i can tell you she's really energetic, loving, and open. she's okay." amanda lets out a chuckle and shrugs.

"mine's pink," heather says.

"i wasn't going to ask you yet, but sure: heather you're either really sweet or extremely fake. i'm leaning towards the latter, based on your fake blonde hair."

"jesus christ, wilbur," austin says, laughing awkwardly. "i didn't realize you were going to be so blunt."

"just like valerie, right?" tubbo asks. i perk up when i hear my name. "didn't you say in your interview that you're blunt?"

"i did," i laugh. "i'm surprised you remembered, let alone know that."

"your favorite color is definitely purple," wilbur tells me. "specifically dark purple."

"correct." i raise my eyebrows. how did he know?

"you're straight-forward, compassionate, open-minded, creative, and unique," wilbur tells me. i smile.

"that's very accurate... and a good list of qualities."

"it is."

wilbur continues to go on and describe all the girls based on their favorite colors. everyone seems to have good adjectives, except for heather and marissa. marissa ends up getting called prissy and she has a fit over it.

"well, tommy..." austin says. "is that enough information to help you vote someone off?"

"i think i've had an idea for a while now," tommy responds. to no one's surprise, heather gets kicked off. she also chose love.

"thanks a lot wilbur. you said she was fake and she chose love," tommy says rolling his eyes.

"oh come on," wilbur says. "you literally messaged me at the beginning saying that your favorite was-"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" tommy shouts, muffling wilbur's voice.

favorite?

"okay... and on that note... it's time for one of the hardest questions," austin says, sounding worried. "ladies... who do you think would be the worst choice for tommy and why?"

"oh boy, this is going to get catty," wilbur says.

"that's not a good thing," tubbo huffs. "this is my least favorite part."

"it's my favorite."

"you enjoy watching girls fight?"

"not girls fight. girls fighting over tommyinnit." wilbur lets out a laugh.

"let's go down the line," austin says, laughing at wilbur. "amanda? who's the worst choice for tommy?"

"marissa," amanda says without hesitation, pushing her cuticles back.

"what the hell?" marissa shouts, sounding extremely pissed off.

"you heard me." amanda looks up. "you are very toxic."

"what makes you think that?"

"you've been a bitch this whole show. for example, that time we were talking about soda? you completely tainted the fun. you scoff at everything people say, you suck up to tommy every second you get. to me, you don't seem like you want a relationship with tommy. you want a relationship with his money."

a gasp escapes from my lips. yeah, everything she said was true, but she did NOT hesitate to put marissa in her place.

marissa looks down and her lip quivers.

"shit... i'm sorry if that was too harsh... i tend to just say how i feel without thinking about it... not that i take any of it back... but jeez i should've been a bit less intense..." amanda says, biting her nails.

"you know what?" marissa says, lifting her head up. "i think valerie is the worst option." i raise an eyebrow.

"what?" i ask, deadpanned.

"yeah, you. it's so obvious tommy favors you. he takes every chance to talk to you and he spoke to you a lot in the introductions. and you're so annoying. you hardly make comments, but it's so obvious there are so many things you'd like to say. i can tell, WE ALL can tell, that you're just insulting everyone in your head. just come out and say you don't like us and you don't like tommy. but no. you won't. all you do is sit there, look pretty, and listen."

i open my mouth to respond, but marissa keeps going off.

"you have NO CLUE who tommy is, or you say you don't. what's in this for you then, huh? just go date some random person at your school. wouldn't make a difference, considering you literally said in your interview you'd have the same opinion of him if you saw him passing you in the hall."

i smile and scoff. eventually, i start laughing.

"why the hell are you laughing?" marissa asks. everyone looks at us with shocked expressions, even tommy seems freaked out.

"because that's the most absurd thing i've heard all week," i respond, looking up and staring at her on my screen. i smirk.

"it's not my fault he likes me best," i say smugly. i hear tommy let out a small snort.

"it's unfair that he favors you while he doesn't give the rest of us a chance," marissa replies.

"and how exactly is that my fault? i don't suck up to him and beg for him to talk to me. he just does. and i'm not complaining. this is a competition, marissa. i'm not going to say 'hey tommy, it looks like i'm doing well in this competition right now, so go give everyone else lots of attention to decrease my chances.' no. that's not how it works. and with that, my answer as to who's the worst for tommy is marissa. because she controls who tommy talks to and is insanely jealous." i cross my arms and sit up straight in my chair.

everyone is extremely quiet for a long time. there is an uncomfortable silence in the air and i'm terrified that i said the wrong thing.

"wow..." tommy finally says. i bite my lower lip anxiously.

"if you expect me to take back what i said, i won't," i say. "i'm not saying that to be mean. i swear i'm genuinely not a mean person. but what marissa said crossed the line, and i'm saying what's on my mind."

"no no, you're fine valerie, but austin... i think i want to make my decision now."

"already?" austin asks. "but only half of the girls ans-"

"yeah. i know. but that wasn't okay and i don't want to date someone like that. marissa, you're off the show."

"tommy, that's something i usually-"

"and i'm sure you can guess why." tommy rubs his temples and looks exhausted. "that wasn't okay. i like valerie because she's cool and fun. if it seems like i'm favoring her, i'm sorry. i just enjoy talking to her. but where i cross the line is when you start disrespecting your peers. valerie is on the same level as you. or at least, WAS on the same level. until you said all that." he lets out a sigh. "god, you women are all about 'girls supporting girls' on your twitter, but then when there's a perfectly good example to prove you actually support your fellow girls, such as right now, you completely blow it."

everyone sits quietly for a moment. i look at marissa, who's trembling and picking at her fingernails. she looks very guilty and remorseful.

"please just get her off, austin," tommy sighs. austin removes her from the show immediately without question.

"marissa chose love," austin says meekly.

"i couldn't care less."