Van:

I stood outside her door, hand up to knock. I let it fall and turned around to leave, then turned back to the door. I'd been like this for five minutes already and was growing impatient with myself.

I was saved the trouble of finally knocking when the door swung open and her roommate stepped out, noticing me until after she'd closed the door.

"Van right?" She crossed her arms, defensive.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Carmen."

"She's at work. Find her there." She turned to leave, then looked at me. "Or you know what, don't. Leave her alone maybe."

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. She was completely fucked over when things were over between you. Maybe you need to give her some space. She has a boyfriend." With that she turned her back to me and walked away.

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She'd called me last night. I didn't know how I'd missed it. No voicemail or anything, I was starting to think maybe it was a mistake.

We were leaving tomorrow, and I knew she was back home and I was dying to let her know that she still had me wrapped around her finger and anything she needed I'd still answer her call. I don't know why, it was pathetic really, but I knew she still felt the same and if only she wasn't so damn stubborn we could go back to the way things were.

I did decide to go see her at work because I wanted to see that damn Zach's face when he saw me walk in. He'd realize he never stood a chance, and maybe I sounded like a downright asshole but the thought made me smile.

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I went in, merely nodding at the secretary. She looked like she wanted to say something but let me pass without another word. I knew my way around, and luckily I didn't have to interact with anybody on the way there.

I knocked on the door and he opened it. He tried to act all tough, even so far as puffing his chest a little. "What do you want?"

"Is Carmen here?" I shoved past him into the office. A new girl looked up at me from her desk. Carmen wasn't there.

"She's busy. Besides, I'm sure you two have nothing to talk about."

"Acting like the big man eh? She gives you a little attention and you already feel like you have the right over her. Lemme pop your bubble by saying that she still loves me. You distracted her enough but now it's time for us to get back to where we were."

He laughed dryly. "You mean when you had her crying every other day? Some love that was."

"You don't know a damn thing."

He stood in front of me. "I'm gonna make her forget all about you. Already did a little bit. Thanks for giving me the chance to be with her, what with you being away and all. That helped a lot."

I felt the blood rush to my head, grinding my teeth together. "You couldn't even get her to fall in love with you."

"It's only been two months, give me a month tops. I already got her to be my girlfriend."

I shoved him back, taking him by surprise. He caught himself on his desk, shaking his head and throwing a punch.

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Carmen:

"Uh huh. Yeah that's fine." I waved goodbye to Yvette as I made my way to the office.

A crash sounded from inside so I burst into the office, just in time to see Van punch Zach in the nose. Shit.

Carla was in the background, freaking out but not knowing how to get in between them. I ran forward and grabbed Van, yanking him away from Zach. They were both breathing heavily, Zach wiping at the thin line of blood coming from his nose.

"What is wrong with you?" I looked at them both. Van pushed his hair back, nothing on him except a small cut near his mouth. "Van, what are you"-

"Is he your boyfriend then?" He said in a low voice, eyes darting back to Zach. They looked at each other murderously. I grabbed Van's wrist and dragged him outside, feeling my chest tighten.

"Don't you ever do that again, understand?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the restrooms. Oblivious to whether there were any guys in there I shoved him inside, grabbing a paper towel and running it under cold water before dabbing it near his lip. My hands were trembling from adrenaline, but Van steadied my hand with his own.

"He opened his big mouth for no damn reason." He muttered.

"What are you doing here anyways? I thought you'd be back in London by now."

"We're leaving tomorrow. Is it true then? You're his girl now?"

"I'm nobody's girl." I muttered absentmindedly, turning to the sink to wash my hands. "And you didn't have the right to come in here and throw punches like that. Hopefully no one finds out that this happened."

"He said you"-

"He asked me to be his girlfriend. And I asked if he was sure." I took a deep breath, turning to look at the mirror.

"And?"

"And I don't owe you an explanation!" I looked back at him. "I don't get you Van."

"You don't wanna be with him, not really." His voice dropped. "You like him, but you love me." He pressed himself against me, grabbing my face with his hands.

"Stop taunting me." I said breathlessly.

"I'm not." He pressed his lips against mine. I felt heat. Something hit me in the chest, a wave of desperation unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I shut my eyes, responding feverishly. His lips fit mine like they were meant to be. His hands dropped from my face and pressed me against him and I responded because I knew I'd been dumb to think that I wasn't going to want this.

He pressed me against the restroom wall, his lips leaving mine momentarily to press against my throat.

The door slammed open and I shoved him away.

Zach came in, looking at both of us before turning towards the paper towels and grabbing one.

"You ok?" He looked at me.

"Are you? Here let me get that." I walked towards him, grabbing the paper towel and running it under water. I saw Van leave the restroom from the corner of my eyes. My lips were on fire, but I dabbed at Zach's nose guiltily, paying mind to the hisses under his breath. "I'm sorry."

"You're not the one who punched me." He muttered.

I didn't say anything, throwing the paper towel away and moving his face. "There, that's as much as I could do. Does it hurt?"

"Not when you're here playing nurse for me." He smiled, putting his arms around me.

"I'll be back ok?" I broke away and stepped back, striding towards the door. He was waiting for me, hands in his pockets. No one had realized a thing. I touched my lip on instinct as I walked towards him. "You need to go."

"We need to talk."

"Meet me at my apartment in an hour. Can you do that?" I crossed my arms, looking towards the restroom door as if Zach would come striding out any second. As if I had to watch out for him.

"Yeah." He looked at me hard before turning to go. I took a deep breath, going back towards the restroom.

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Van:

I felt the heat rest in my stomach as I walked to my hotel. My lips were numb. I know I should've felt ecstatic, but I didn't feel that way completely.

I felt like a secret, something she'd been trying to get rid of quickly. But we were meeting later, so that was something right? She'd explain it all there.

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She opened the door, dressed out of her work clothes. Crossing her arms as she let me in, she shut the door behind me.

"Is Zach ok?" I asked innocently.

"He's fine."

"That's a shame."

"Van." She said in warning. "You can't just show up to my job like that and decide you're gonna start a fight."

"Oh, so I started it?"

"I'm not going to argue with you on that." She cut harshly.

"You're right, there's more important things to do." I wound my arms around her, seeing for her reaction. She didn't even pretend to protest this time, her hands reaching for my face and her eyes dropping to my mouth.

She held onto me like I was going to disappear, and it made my chest hurt. Her lips tried to kiss every part of me, and I for one was more than happy to help them.

She pulled away suddenly, turning away. "Van I can't do this."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I....I can't do this to Zach."

"What do you mean you can't"- I stopped. Her eyes were cast to the ground and then she looked up at me. "You can't be serious. Jesus Christ Carmen." I spat out, turning away from her.

"I told you, I would try to forget you." Her voice trembled.

"How's that working for you then?" I got in her face, whispering. She was a mess with me, I was a mess with her. I got closer to her, digging my finger into the waistband of her jeans and pulling her forward to me. She looked at me in surprise. I was too quick with her, too desperate. I wanted to be slow and soft and tender but I couldn't help myself anymore. "Pull away then and tell me to stop." I let go of her. She looked at me, tapping her finger against my mouth. I turned towards the door, but then two hands pulled me around and her lips were on mine again and her hands were everywhere and my hands were everywhere and we were bumping against everything and it felt like old times again.

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Carmen:

"No, no I can't. Stop." I shoved him away, feeling my mouth tingle with the exposure of having Van's lips leave mine.

"Carmen."

"I can't do this to him." I whispered. "He's been there for me..."

"Do you love him?" He said.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does Carmen! You love me!" Van's voice grew loud and urgent.

"But that's not enough! That's not enough anymore Van!" I turned away. "Cause you're just here for the night and then you're gone and I can't reach you and I'm tired of not getting through to you soon enough." My head hurt. I rubbed my eyes. "And I need someone who's here, whenever I need him."

"Who you can rely on." He whispered.

I turned away from him. "And I can't rely on you Van."

"But you love me. And you've loved me all this time."

"And what's love gonna do for me?" I said dryly.

He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice shook. "Alright Carmen. I'm gonna let you try out your reliability ticket. And when you realize what you need, you know where to find me. Anything you need, anytime at all." My heart slowed, and it felt as painful as breaking up, except this was face to face and Van wasn't angry and I was being so selfish but I needed something else.

And maybe he was right, maybe I'd grow tired of Zach and I'd regret every decision I was making now.

He kissed me on the lips and told me to call him. But to talk about what?

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"Abels residence."

"Zach."

"Hey." His playful tone stopped for a moment. "Carmen are you ok?"

"Are you busy right now? Do you have time for some coffee?"

"Sure, of course."

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"Is everything ok?" Zach sat in front of me, jamming his hands in his pockets. He scratched his nose, looking at me.

"I, yeah." I took a sip of my coffee, looking at Zach take a drink from his. "Just like you like it?"

"You remembered." He grinned.

"I wanted to talk to you about, what you asked me. In Cancun."

"I know you said you needed some time to think about things. If this is about your ex"-

"No it's not about him. Zach, I want you to be mine." I took a large gulp of scalding coffee. "I want to try this with you."

"Really?" His eyes lit up.

"Yeah. I want to forget about stuff, with you."