《Face Your Fears》Chapter 3
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I came awake with a start, flying upright and almost rolling off the bed onto the floor. My heart was pounding rapidly against my chest and a sweat had broken out across my forehead.
That literally had been one of the most frightening dreams I'd ever had...except I couldn't remember what had happened.
Fantastic.
I let out a groan and flopped backwards onto a pillow, running my hands over my face. I remember crawling into bed last night with Hadley after I got back from Mom's and then...I must have fallen asleep.
What time was it now?
I scrambled around on the nightstand for my alarm clock and squinted at the bright green numbers with some difficulty.
It was just after seven in the morning. Way too early to be getting up, in my opinion.
I looked over towards Hadley's side of the bed and saw that she was still curled up underneath the blankets, her hair a mess.
As much as I didn't want to admit, something was unusual here. She would've been up already. She never slept this much.
I did my best to pull her back against me without waking her up, resting one of my arms across her waist.
"Mmmm."
She moved around in my arms and nuzzled against my chest.
"Are you awake?"
She sighed, blowing out a huff of air. "I've been awake for a while now."
"Well, you did fall asleep early," I reasoned.
She leaned back and stared up at me in confusion, frowning. "I did?"
I propped myself up on an elbow, the better to see her in the dim lighting of the room. "You were asleep when I got home from Mom's, and it was barely ten. And what the hell was the McDonald's food about? You hate McDonald's."
"Oh, you're right," she groaned, burying her face in my shoulder. "I despise McDonald's, but I just really wanted a hamburger last night. And French fries. And a chocolate shake."
I was stunned into silence for a moment. What was I supposed to say to that?
"Maybe you should take some time off work if you're this rundown and craving McDonald's," I suggested casually. "Might do you some good."
Really, she did work herself too hard. The time and effort she gave for each and every one of her patients was overwhelming. I never would have been able to handle it the way she did. She could stand for a break.
"I'm perfectly fine," she snapped. "So I got a little tired. Big deal. I'm okay. And eating McDonald's every now and then isn't going to kill me."
"If you say so."
"Oh, shut up."
I fought back laughter at the cross look that had taken over Hadley's face, but she quickly got rid of it and curled up closer to me.
"Did you have a good time last night?" she asked, her voice muffled by my chest.
"Yeah," I said. "It was fine."
And everything had been fine, except for Mom suddenly wanting to know if Hadley was pregnant. That kind of put a damper on the evening.
"Did you bring home any pizza?"
Shit.
"I forgot. Sorry."
"More like you ate it all."
"Yeah, you're right."
She sighed heavily and sounded exhausted when she spoke next. "Damn. And I really wanted pizza."
"Poor Hadley."
"Poor me."
This time I did laugh.
Lying in bed like that, with Hadley in my arms, even if we weren't saying anything, was something I realized I had really come to miss over the past weeks. I couldn't remember the last time I'd held her like this.
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We were probably both about to drop off to sleep again when Hadley's phone started buzzing and ringing loud enough for our neighbors to hear.
Who could have possibly been calling her this early in the morning? A patient, maybe?
Hadley grumbled obscenities under her breath while she rolled over and grappled around on the nightstand for her phone, then quickly answered.
"Hadley Morales speaking."
Whenever I heard her introduce herself as Hadley Morales I always felt this sudden surge of pride and satisfaction that I had been the one to change her last name. It was a reminder to the rest of the world that she was mine and not anyone else's.
It was probably a possessive guy thing. Either way, I liked hearing it.
Hadley fell silent for a few moments, listening to whatever the person was saying.
I watched her facial expressions as they spoke. First she looked shocked, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and then a resigned expression took over her features.
"Okay," she said softly after a moment. "I thought so. Thank you. No, I can call and make it. Okay. Yes, that's fine. Thanks again. Goodbye."
Her hands were trembling while she hung up and then tossed her phone on the floor. She slumped awkwardly back onto the pillows, her eyes fixed upwards with a glassy stare.
Wait. Was she crying?
Okay. Now I was starting to feel a little uneasy.
"Hadley?"
She said nothing.
"Who was that?" I tried again, reaching out to lace my fingers through hers. "Are you alright?"
She quickly turned her head away from me when I tried to look at her, giving a choked sob.
"Hadley," I repeated sharply, my concern rising. "What's wrong? Miele, why are you crying?"
Maybe I was overreacting, but I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen Hadley cry, and the last time hadn't been recently.
Was one of her patients in trouble? Somebody died? What could have been heinous enough that would make Hadley start crying like this?
"I'm n-not...c-crying," she forced out, her voice cracking. "I'm fine."
I wasn't sure whether I wanted to laugh or groan.
"You are such a bad liar."
She managed a small laugh, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her palms. She finally looked over at me a moment later, and a small smile was pulling at her lips.
She was crying and smiling?
That just made this whole situation weirder.
"Why are you so upset?" I asked, reaching out to place a finger under her chin and tilt her face up towards mine. "You don't cry. Did something happen?"
Hadley squirmed away and yanked the blankets up to her nose and then glared at me in a rather owlish manner. "I'm not crying because I'm upset," she muttered. "I'm crying because I'm happy."
I found this very hard to believe. The expression on her face made her look anything but happy.
This wasn't making any sense to me. This morning was turning out to be just as strange and off-the-wall as last night had been, and I didn't take that as a good sign.
What the hell was going on here?
"Okay...why are you crying tears of joy then?"
Hadley blew out a sigh, her lips pulling down in a frown while she debated something with herself.
I tried not to drum my fingers on a pillow in an agitated manner, but it was hard. Patience wasn't one of my best virtues, and the fact that she was pussyfooting around telling me what was wrong just added to my annoyance.
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"I think..."
I gave her a look while she struggled with an answer.
"I think...you don't really want to...know...why I'm happy."
I kept my mouth shut, running over her words in my mind.
What she'd said hadn't made any sense, either. What would make her so happy that would make her cry, but that I wouldn't like? That didn't seem quite right to me.
"Hadley, can you just - "
"Anyways, I'm going to take a shower."
She bolted out of bed with surprising vigor before I could object, dashing into the bathroom to slam the door shut behind her.
I stared at the door in utter confusion, wondering what the hell just happened.
Then I slapped a hand to my face and groaned.
God, Hadley could be too ridiculously confusing sometimes. It made my head hurt sometimes, trying to figure out her thought process and why she acted certain ways.
But sitting in bed and contemplating the unknown wouldn't help anything.
Getting a random urge, I pulled myself out of bed and padded to the kitchen, intent on making breakfast. I told myself that I was only doing this because I needed to be a nice, doting husband for once, but it was probably because I was thinking that if I sucked up to her, she'd eventually tell me what was going on.
I settled for making scrambled eggs and popped two pieces of cinnamon raisin bread into the toaster. You could never go wrong with the classic eggs and toast routine.
I got the coffee pot going while the eggs cracked and sizzled on the stove, grabbed the toast once it popped, slathered them with butter. As soon as the coffee was finished brewing I poured out a mug, added creamer, then dumped the eggs onto the plate with the toast. Not wanting to have to deal with Hadley's nagging about the dishes needing to be done tonight, I quickly scrubbed the frying pan clean and shoved it back in the cupboard above the stove.
I'd heard the shower switch off in the other room a minute ago, so I gathered together the eggs, toast and coffee mug and headed for the bedroom.
To my surprise, Hadley was already sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapped up in a fluffy white towel, her hair dripping down her back as she smoothed lotion onto her legs.
I stopped in my tracks. And stared.
Yes, I very much did enjoy seeing my wife fresh out of the shower in only a towel. But that wasn't what had caught my attention.
She glanced up as I stood there in the middle of the room, staring at her sort of like a stalker.
"Oh." She gave me a surprised look. "Did you make me breakfast?"
I couldn't get my mouth to form any words, so I just nodded mutely.
She smiled slightly and reached out to take the plate of eggs and toast from me.
"Thanks, love."
I still held the coffee mug and I still couldn't speak, so I just gestured wordlessly at the mug.
"Coffee? Er...no, thanks."
That nervous statement brought me out of my silent stupor.
"Now you're not drinking coffee?" I said in alarm. "This is Mom's hazelnut blend, your favorite. You've never passed it up before."
Her cheeks flushed pink as she shrugged, scooting eggs around the edge of her plate with her fork. "I'm just...not in the mood for coffee today."
Bullshit, I wanted to say.
But what came out instead was, "Didyourboobsgetbigger?"
Hadley choked on a piece of toast and almost dropped her plate on the floor as she looked at me with wide eyes. "What?"
I took a deep breath and repeated what I'd just stupidly blurted out. It really was ridiculous, but I knew I wouldn't have peace of mind until I had an answer to that question.
"Did your boobs get bigger?"
Her cheeks flushed as bright as a tomato, and I'm pretty sure mine did, too.
It was an awkward question to ask, but seeing her only in that towel made it blatantly obvious that she had definitely gone up a cup-size or so. I was pretty certain I wasn't the only guy who paid attention to their wife's rack, and the fact that we hadn't slept together in a few weeks made that obvious, too.
I just didn't understand what had caused it. I thought women only got bigger chests when -
Oh. Oh, shit. No way. No way.
I remembered my Biology class from high school.
Was there even the slightest possibility that Mom had been right?
"Um...no?"
I stumbled over to the bed, taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to keep from blowing a gasket. I had to be logical about this entire thing. But the whole idea of logic was proving rather difficult when my mind was whirling. Freaking out and screaming wasn't going to solve anything.
"Hadley." I swallowed hard, clenching my hands into fists on my thighs. "Do you...I mean, are you...?"
Hadley stared down at her plate of eggs and toast, her voice barely above a whisper when she said, "Am I what?"
"Hadley," I repeated sharply. "Tell me. Please."
I couldn't force myself to actually say the words, because then that would mean this was actually happening.
And in that small, inconsequential moment when Hadley finally looked up at me and whispered yes, I knew then that my life was never going to be the same again.
"That call, from earlier," she muttered, taking a deep breath. "That was the OBGYN. Positive test results."
Everything was going to change.
The room was starting to tilt and I felt bile rising in my throat.
"Archer." Hadley was gently gripping my arm. "Are you all right?"
No. No. I was not all right.
"I'm...don't know," I gasped out.
I was starting to hyperventilate.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was yanking off my pajamas and pulling on jeans and a shirt, then moving for the door. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I had to get out of here.
"Archer?" Hadley called after me in alarm. "Where are you going?"
"I'll be...back. Just...I've got to...clear my head."
I needed to do more than clear my head. I needed to get a damn grip.
----------------------------------------
ATTENTION:
I am totally aware of the fact that the epilogue of In 27 Days is inconsistent with how Face Your Fears is, really!
When In 27 Days was entered in the Watty Awards, I had already begun to post Face Your Fears and could not, under threat of disqualification, go back to edit In 27 Days to make it consistent.
In 27 Days is still undergoing rigorous editing and I have not had the time to go back to change everything to make it flow together, let alone write in the first place.
I am very sorry that this is all so confusing, really, but thank you for still reading anyways!
- Ally
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