Nearing the end of my workday there was a sharp throbbing above my left eyebrow, I’d already had four cups of coffee, and I was ravenously hungry for a cherry Danish.

I kept repeatedly glancing at the time at the bottom of my computer screen while I worked on organizing and editing the final shots for a family photo-shoot I’d just done the other day. I didn’t mind this part of my job so much.

The couple had a little boy that never stopped smiling and was easily distracted by birds flying overhead, so it wasn’t that difficult to take the pictures they had been asking for. I didn’t care for working with children on occasion, mainly because they had a nasty habit of never listening, but this little boy had been a godsend.

I’d already finished that damn model’s portfolio and emailed her the final proofs, glad to be done with her. Thank God. Hadley had been right – the girl was way too bitchy for her own good.

I blew out a sigh as I finished copying the proofs to a CD for the couple and leaned back in my computer chair, rubbing my hands over my face.

It wasn’t even five in the evening yet and I was already bloody exhausted.

That was really depressing. And I really didn’t like depressing things.

I was about ready to fall asleep once I had finished taking care of all the CDs of proofs that needed to be sent out when my cellphone vibrated loudly in my pocket, startling me in the quiet silence of the room.

I quickly answered the call without checking caller ID. “Hello?”

“Arrrccchhheeerrr….where are you? I miiissss youuu…”

“April. I just saw you yesterday.”

My little sister scoffed over the line, and I could tell she was rolling her eyes. “Yeah, but still. You never come around much anymore, and who else do I know that still ties my shoes for me sometimes?”

“Shut up.”

April sighed exasperatedly and started whining again. “Don’t be mean, Archer. Will you please just come over?”

I loved my little sisters, I really did. I’d practically raised them, and I wasn’t about to let them walk out of my life anytime soon. I was just so damn tired.

I let out a heavy sigh and slouched in my desk chair. “Look, I really need to – “

“Mom’s making pizza with pancetta.”

Shit.

Pancetta? That was one of my major weaknesses – thick, juicy Italian bacon – and especially on pizza. How could I say no to that?

“Fine. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“Yay!”

April hung up on the other line without another word.

It looked like I was going to get to leave work early today, which was perfectly fine with me. After three days straight packed full of photo shoots and the added bonus of helping out the family at the coffee house on Black Friday, I think I deserved a little relaxation time.

I had no desire to trudge the public transport system, but at the very least I wasn’t going to have to make dinner tonight, and I could bring home pizza for Hadley and I for later.

I turned off my computer, grabbed my coat from the bedroom and pulled out my cellphone to text Hadley while I shoved my feet into my shoes.

Going to Ma’s for dinner. Bringing home pizza.

Almost a second later, I got a reply. Confusing, as Hadley was busy with patients generally until she signed off for the day.

Save some for me. I’m so hungry I could eat a freaking cow.

I fought back a smile. I’d save some for her if I could, but chances were I was going to eat it all before we even sat down at the dinner table.

I let myself out of the apartment, locked up, and made my way down the three flights of stairs – damn elevator was broken – and stepped outside.

The air was cold and brisk for the first week of December and a light breeze ruffled my hair as I flagged down a taxi.

Winter was preparing to fall upon the city with full force, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I didn’t mind the snow, but the cold was something that got to me.

Almost an hour later I was stepping out of the taxi in front of Mama Rosa’s Coffee House. The place was already closed for the evening – 7 o’clock sharp – but the lights in the draped covered windows upstairs were blazing.

I let myself in through the back door behind the coffee house with my set of keys and made the trek up four flights of stairs until I finally reached the front door to my family’s apartment.

I’d barely picked the right key when the front door swung open and then I was being attacked with hugs and shrieks from three identical fourteen-year-old girls.

April, May and June Morales looked nearly identical to one another with their dark hair and bright blue eyes. If it weren’t for the fact that each of their hair was styled differently, most people would have trouble telling them apart. But I had watched them grow up, and their personalities were sometimes so contrasting of one another that it was easy to figure out who was who.

“Oh my gosh, Archer, I missed you so much!” April squealed.

“Yeah,” June agreed, “Mom’s been all up in our business about school and you’re the only one that can make her – “

“Is that you, Archer?”

Regina Morales, my mother, appeared in the doorway, looking shocked and pleased to see me at the same time.

My mother was my personal hero. Nobody could have done what she did after her husband and the man I considered my father was murdered. I tried not to make it seem like I was a total mama’s boy, but who was I kidding? It was the truth, at least half of the time. I’d learned to accept it.

“Hey, Ma,” I said, reaching out to hug her tightly.

Concern for her wellbeing was beginning to rise in me. She looked more tired than usual and dark, almost bruise like rings circling her eyes. I hoped her PTSD hadn’t been giving her any trouble lately.

“Good to see you again, moroso,” Mom said, patting my cheek. “How are you?”

“Good,” I said. “Y’know, same as usual.”

Mom grinned, a knowing look in her eyes. “Things with Hadley going alright?”

As stupid as it was, I could feel my face flooding with heat at her teasing comment. “Ma, you just saw us yesterday, and I really don’t think the state of my marriage is any of your concern.”

“I know, I know,” Mom said, flapping a hand. “But I’m your mother, you know how it is.”

No, I didn’t know how it was – I wasn’t a mother.

“Now that we’ve established that,” May said dryly, “can we please eat now? I’m starving.”

I could agree with that.

I followed after Mom into the apartment while the triplets kept up a string of rapid conversation, talking about how their day had gone and just how much they hated the eighth grade.

Not much had really changed in the apartment, even if I haven’t lived in the place for almost four years.

But an odd, depressing air had settled over the building when my grandmother had died at the age of eighty-eight last year, and it still hadn’t left.

Truth be told, my grandmother hadn’t been the nicest of people, but she was the mold that kept our family together, the stern yet loving matriarch of the Incitti clan. Without her there, things had fallen out of balance. It had been many months since her death, but I wasn’t sure if things had righted themselves just yet.

I missed her – we all did – but just because she wasn’t technically here with us didn’t mean she was gone. We all liked to think she was still very much a part of the family in spirit.

The apartment smelt like freshly baked pizza, cheese, tomato sauce, peppers and onions, and my stomach instantly started to growl. I’d skipped lunch, choosing to edit photos instead of eating.

The table had already been set, so we all gathered around the table and took our seats at our respective spots. Mom carried in two huge pizzas on trays, and we barely made it through all of grace before we dug in. I ate nearly three silences within the first ten minutes of actually sitting down at the table for dinner.

Mom had to slap my hand and scold me about getting fat before I remembered that Hadley had asked for leftovers and I didn’t need to eat five slices of pizza, no matter how mouth wateringly delicious it was.

Meanwhile the four of us spent the majority of dinner talking about our lives at the moment. We saw each other enough to keep up on things going on in each other’s lives, but there were always some things that got lost in translation here and there.

The conversation was relaxed and calm and I found myself settling in to a quiet state of mind I hadn’t experienced in a while.

It was a change of pace, and I was okay with it.

And, don’t get me wrong, I was a strong, independent man that could do well enough on his own, but…well, it was at times like these that I wished Hadley was around. She hadn’t known what it was like to properly belong to a family until we had started hanging out together, and call me crazy, but I always felt the constant need to remind her that we were there for her and we weren’t going anywhere. There wasn’t an ounce of Italian blood in her veins, but the family took to her as if she were already one of us. She fit in well with us, and that was more than I could say for anybody else that had tried to get to know our family.

There was also the fact we’d both been so busy lately we rarely ever got to spend time alone together, let alone with anybody else.

I missed her. She slept beside me in the same bed every night, but it was difficult, seeing her and not being able to be with her the way I wanted.

So screw me, I’m a guy and I was entitled to think that way about my wife, wasn’t I?

Once the pizza trays had been picked clean, save for two slices for Hadley, Mom forced the girls to go and work on their homework. They’d helped down in the coffee house and hadn’t had the time to get any work done yet. If someone didn’t remind them that they had homework, they’d probably all be failing their classes.

April and June groaned and complained loudly while they stomped their way up the stairs, making their final point by slamming their shared bedroom door shut with a loud bang. May followed after them quietly, her head somewhere else like it normally was.

Mom slouched in her seat with a sigh and rubbed her temples. “Raising three teenaged girls is turning out to be a bit more difficult than raising you was,” she said, reaching for her wine glass.

I fought back a smirk as I took a swig of beer. “Sorry, Ma. I know I was the perfect child.”

She raised her eyebrows, giving me a sardonic look. “Well, then, perfect child, will you help me do the dishes?”

I rolled my eyes, heaving an exasperated sigh. “If I must.”

“’Atta boy.”

I gathered together the empty pizza trays and a few glasses and followed after Mom into the kitchen while she filled the sink with hot water and soap.

We fell into the rhythm of washing and drying dishes in relative silence. This was one of the things I loved about my mother. We never really needed to fill the silence with conversation, and she rarely ever pestered me about what was going on in my mind.

“So.”

Or not.

I glanced over at Mom with a raised eyebrow. “Ma?”

There was something on her mind that much was obvious. She looked conflicted, as if she were unsure she would be able to talk to me about what was bothering her.

She had that scowl on her face…the scowl that sometimes meant trouble for me, even at twenty-six.

“What?” I urged. “Spit it out.”

“Is Hadley pregnant?”

I immediately started choking and almost fell over backwards onto the floor in a dead faint.

What the hell kind of question was that?

There was absolutely no way on Earth that Hadley could be pregnant. The idea was absolutely ludicrous.

“N-No!” I clutched at the counter for support, my head spinning like I’d just been hit with a dodge ball. “Hadley is not pregnant. That’s impossible.”

“How is that impossible?” A confused look crossed Mom’s face. “You two have never had sex?”

“Mother!”

“What, what?” She held up her hands in a surrendering gesture. “I’m just saying, Archer.”

“Well, I’m just saying that she’s not pregnant,” I snapped, still embarrassingly breathless.

Honestly. Where would my mother ever come up with an idea like that?

I mean, sure, Hadley and I had sex, for Christ’s sake – we were married.

But still. There was no way that Hadley was pregnant.

We’d been together for years and I still had trouble keeping my hands off of her, but she wasn’t pregnant. That just wasn’t possible.

Mom scowled, vigorously scrubbing one of the pizza trays in the sink, splashing soapy water everywhere. “Are you sure? I mean, she has that…glow.”

“Glow?” I repeated. “What glow? What are you talking about?”

Mom pursed her lips, her eyebrows drawn together in an inquisitive expression. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just insane, but it’s there. I’ve noticed it for a while now. Some women just get this glow when they’re expecting.”

This was not making any sense to me.

Where was this coming from? Had Hadley told Mom she was pregnant or something? What would’ve possessed her to make a statement like that?

“Ma,” I said, trying hard not to sound too harsh. “Thanks for your concern, but I think I would know if my wife were pregnant.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Mom said, giving me a shrewd look. “You’d be surprised what a woman can hide if she’s determined enough.”

I didn’t doubt that, especially if it was Hadley we were talking about.

But I still didn’t want to think that Mom was actually on to something here.

It wasn’t like I didn’t like kids. Kids were cool. I didn’t have a problem with them.

I just didn’t necessarily want any of my own.

Hadley and I had talked about it once or twice, but the subject hadn’t come up in recent conversation. As far as I knew, the subject had been put on hold. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that the subject wouldn’t come up again later on, but for right then, I was happy with the way things were in our lives – without a snot nosed little brat running around.

Things were good. Definitely better than what they had been in the past.

Was it so bad for me to want things to stay that way?

I finished helping Mom with the dishes, went upstairs to help the girls with their homework, and then decided that going home couldn’t be prolonged anymore.

I had to see Hadley.

My mind wouldn’t stop spinning with what Mom had said earlier. I knew it was ridiculous to be freaking out the way I was, but it wasn’t like it could be helped.

What was I going to do if Hadley really was pregnant? Freak out? Scream? Throw things? Leave her?

No. That wasn’t an option.

Ever since I was eleven, the one thing that I’d been determined to stick to my entire life was to never be like my biological father – the man who was now rotting away in prison. There was no way I would ever leave Hadley or any child that we might have in the future.

It was a bridge I was going to have to cross when the time came. And I wasn’t so sure if I was ready to face that.

When I let myself into the apartment an hour after I’d left Mom’s place, it was eerily quiet.

I dropped my keys onto the coffee table in the living room and looked around.

Hadley’s shoes were kicked off in front of the couch and her bag was on the kitchen counter, but where was she?

The apartment wasn’t very big. She couldn’t have gone far.

“Hadley?” I called out. “You here?”

No answer.

I made my way through the living room, into the bedroom and was shocked to find Hadley burrowed up underneath the covers on the bed, snoring softly. She was in her pajamas already, McDonald’s food bags on the nightstand beside the bed, and it looked like she wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon.

It wasn’t even ten in the evening yet, early compared to the time we normally went to bed, and better yet, when did Hadley ever eat McDonald’s? Normally she was ranting about how disgusting McDonald’s was, and now she was eating it?

That was just as confusing as Mom claiming Hadley was pregnant.

I stood there beside the bed for a moment, deciding if facing Hadley’s wrath for waking her up was worth it.

It wasn’t.

I grabbed the McDonald’s bag off the nightstand and chucked it in the trash, dragged myself to the bathroom to pull my pajamas on and brush my teeth. I flicked off the lights and slid into bed beside Hadley, reaching out to pull her into my arms.

She let out a small noise and clutched at my shirt tightly, a pained expression on her face. What could have been giving her trouble that would make her have a bad dream?

Well, I knew I was going to have bad dreams tonight. Probably one full of screaming babies and shitty diapers.