eyes snapped open. she was sweating profusely, covered in a cold sweat. she was shaking, her heart pounding against her chest. she looked around the room, suspiciously glancing at every article present. rubbing her eyes, she shivered, slowly awakening. she stumbled towards the mirror glancing at her reflection.

it had been a year since she last had that nightmare, why did it come back again. her hair was frizzled and messy, she looked dead with bags under her eyes and a swollen face. she only had one thought in mind. park haru was dead, wasn't she? the lingering feeling nagged her.

as she brushed her teeth, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. she saw park haru in her. she saw a weak, vulnerable little girl. she was shadow, not some weak, scrawny child.

she pulled off her low cut top and shorts and rummaged through her closet, finding a pair of cargo pants and a white tank top. her hands were on her hip ready to own the streets later tonight.

she lifted the pillow of her bed, her gun reflected a beam of light. she pocketed it, sticking it in the back of her pants, just in arm's reach.

her boots pounded into the tile floor, her head raised high. she plopped onto her couch with a thundering sigh.

her couch had seen better days, holes rips and tears surfaced. the stuffy fabric running loose. she used it as anger relief on countless occasions, sending bullets through the distressed fabric.

she lunged towards her tv remote, showing it towards her flat-screen. a soft click escaped, ruining the silence.

a loud chatter rippled through the apartment, "shadow has attacked again."

"not this shit again."

her muscles tensed. she threw her remote at the tv, a quiet crack spread across the face of the screen.

"fuck" she mumbled, "i'll just buy another."

she scrolled through her phone, looking for anything interesting or worth her time. she came across a picture of her and her brother from years ago.

she chuckled softly, her sadness flowed like a gentle river. she knew it was wrong of her to leave him behind. the guilt settled in her chest and in her brain, eating and pestering her, chewing her insides away. she could never undo what she had done.

it had come back to haunt her just like it had done in the past. despite this happening a year ago, her cuts were still fresh and the wounds still deepened. her brother was her only weakness, the only remaining bit of haru.

"i'm sorry." she whimpered, holding back her tears threatening to fall.

***

she ran, flying past a maze of buildings and side streets, leaving all her problems behind. to her distance was all that mattered, it didn't matter where she went just far away from hell. her mind was on fire, she wouldn't stop.

her tears stuck to her like glue, small marking etched down her cheeks. she had backstabbed the only other person to love her truly. she hurt jimin, she killed his parents. she tried to remind herself she can't undo her wrongs, she could only make amends to make her a better person.

she covered herself with her hoodie, hiding her shameful face. she waited at the bus stand, as the strong gales ruffled her clothes. the autumn leaves fell onto her, sprinkling her clothes in a variety of shades from red to brown.

as hours passed, she sat on the seat, staring into an abyss of emptiness. she waited as the white cotton in the sky turned gray, sprinkling tears alongside her. the rain fell softly, mixing in with her tears, washing her sorrows away.

as the next bus arrived, she climbed on settling on the silent corner in the back. her frivelish appearance earned murmurs and whispers from the people around, they all silently judged her.

she clutched her bag close to her, hiding from all the onlookers, avoiding all human interaction. as the bus rocked side to side, she gazed out the window watching all the familiar places pass her by.

when the driver came by letting out a hand, she handed him a couple of crinkled notes. his expression softened as he saw the bruises grazing her face. he bobbed his head as if to say he understood.

the sky soon casted a shadow; the glint of the moon reflected off her. one by one they left the bus, till she was all that remained.

as the droplets of the rain rippled on the rooftop, the bus driver drove farther away from her hometown. stopping at the next stop, she held her bag. her weak footsteps clicking against the floor.

"thank you." she mumbled, as the bus driver nodded, sending her away.

she sat on the bench with no home of her own, letting the night sky take over. her eyes were weary, and her reactions were slow. the tiredness swept into her veins, yet her eyes didn't close.

her joints and limbs were locked into place, unable to move. she rested her head against the brown wood, thinking that would be her home.

then came the rustling of leaves, and the crunching of gravel. a man eyed her up and down.

"what's a pretty little girl like you doing out here?" he smirked, letting her hair flow through his fingers.

she shivered, as he touched her face with his hands. he sat down next to her, scooting in as every second passed.

her hands leaned toward the gun she kept safely stashed in her pocket. she pulled it out with her trembling fingers on the trigger, aiming it towards their heads.

"you have a gun." the man teased. "baby you're so cute."

the man pulled out a shiny silver dagger, as a bullet entered his head.

his body fell on the bench. her lips upturned, a vile smile coming across.

she missed the feeling of warmth, happiness was infectious. she wanted more of this glee; she was thirsty for blood.

her love quickly turned to hate. negative emotions swallowed her. acid tainted her pure soul. she slowly died from her own toxicity. her heart hardened slowly distorted into rock.

she would live a life of crime. this was her happiness.