yo

you awake?

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i just got up

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why

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are you okay

meh,, i feel like shit

how r u tho

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i'm good but are you okay tho:( i don't want you to be sad

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we could talk about it if you like :)

i appreciate it but

you wouldnt understand

its not an easy situation

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well then help me understand

how tf am i supposed to help you understand what its like to be in the public eye 247 and not even be able to do anything by yourself cuz everyone is up your ass

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that must be hard

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i'm really sorry Billie

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i wish i could help

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is there anything i can do

honestly no

can you facetime me

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i- yeah sure

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uhhhh

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gimme a minute

ok

*

I watched my leg bounce underneath me as I pressed the FaceTime button, the ringing sound coming through my phone. Billie didn't pick up after about 5 rings and I was about to hang up when 'connecting...' came up at the top. I felt a spike in my anxiety as the sound wavered before her voice came through the screen. I'd never spoken to her face to face before so I was really nervous.

She was leaning over her bed, her ass full in the camera.

"Yo!" she yelled as she raised up, a pair of jordan's in her hands as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. My god she's beautiful. How is she even real.

"Uh, hey...you good there?" I laughed as she rubbed her hand across her nose, slipping her foot into one of the shoes. She laughed, looking up at me.

"I'm good. Tired." she slipped the other shoe on as she grabbed a couple of rings and slid them onto her fingers. I tore my eyes away from her hands and back to her face.

"You uh, didn't you wanna talk?" she didn't seem particularly sad. Maybe she's hiding her feelings. She flipped her head over and gathered her hair into a big bunch, wrapping it in a hairband and pulling the front bits out.

"Uhm, I don't wanna bore you with my bullshit," she laughed, sitting on the edge of her bed and twirling her jewellery around.

"You won't. I wanna help." I smiled at her as she gave me a weak smile back, leaning her face into her hand and tapping her fingers against her cheek.

"I don't know..I guess I just get overwhelmed with my life sometimes. It gets crazy and I don't know how to cope with it, and sometimes I really honestly want it to just go away...But it can't."

I listened to her sigh at the end as she started playing with the front pieces of her hair, twirling them around.

"I get what you mean. It'll be hard to get used to everything especially as you get bigger and bigger and more famous. Are there things you enjoy though?"

She looked around the room before rubbing her fingers across her eyes and raising up from her bed, grabbing a louis vuitton cap and slipping it over her head.

"Yeah, sure..the money," she smirked up at me, "and the fans."

"I was waiting for that," I laughed, pulling a giggle out of her as she stood in front of her camera, stroking her hands across her stomach almost in a comforting sense.

"What's wrong, Billie?" I asked again, watching as her eyes met mine. Her shoulders seemed to drop as she shrugged, biting onto her bottom lip.

"I'm good," she smiled, although I could tell it wasn't real.

"Ok. If you say so."

*

thanks for talking to me and making me feel better

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don't worry about it. i just wanted to make sure you're okay

i'm good now

i'm just a pussy

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there's nothing pussy about having emotions billie

what you doin this weekend

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why

u busy?

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no why

u ever gona stop asking why?

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probably not why

shut up lmfao

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why do you wanna know anyway

lemme come see u

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i'm busy

i thought you said you wasn't

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something came up just now

that was quick

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i live a very fast pace life

ya don't say

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nice sarcasm

nice shitty excuse