I lay on my side and gaze at Mynx staring at me hardcore. The mask still on his face. I sigh then lay on my back. Rubbing my tummy as it rumbles. Tracing the cave twists and turns on the ceiling. I'm not hungry but my body says otherwise. I shake my head. Blinking a few tears away.

"I'm not weak." I whisper.

"I'll go sleep over there near Ujik." Mynx says, getting up leaving me alone. I turn on my side away from the fire. Curling up into the fetal position. Eyes watering. I blink, hastily.

"I'm not weak." I grumble, weakly.

Then bury my face in the dirt. Tears wailing down my face. I cover my mouth, muffling my sobs. Wrapping my arms tightly around myself. Closing my eyes.

"I'm weak..."

________________________

"Canton?" Ujik sings, shaking my shoulder. I blink my eyes to look at him. Eyes feeling dry.

"What's up buttercup?" I ask. Ujik holds out a small jar to me.

"Eat." He commands, I shake my head quickly. Lying back down.

"I'm not hungry, Ujik." I mumble, a feeling of emptiness residing in me. I sigh, tiredly.

"Okay...ya'll want some cookies?" Luckie asks randomly. Thwack.

"You had cookies and you no share?!" Daegi scolds.

"Enough." Zi shouts, everyone is quiet. Eerily quiet. I sit up and look at the guys looking at me.

"What?"

"We need to talk." Zi announces, I chuckle shaking my head.

"No we don't." I hiss.

"You need to talk, Canton. We all can feel it. You're upset...."

"It's not important!"

"Then just tell us one thing, Canton. Why? Why are you upset? That commotion in Favera was your own doing! Take responsibility for your own actions, child!" Suzuki demands, angry. Eyes red. My eyes wander around the dead fire, frowning deeply.

"I-I'm mad at myself. I just thought that I could finally have the perfect family I've always wished for, you know? I'm mad at myself because I'm stupid. So...I don't deserve to eat. I'm...."

"Bull fucking shit, Canton. I don't know what kind of idiot says that kind of thing but your forgetting that you're supposed to be fighting to end a war and the littlest of things sets you off and you want to give up?! What kind of leader is that?! Huh?!" Dukem scolds me.

"I...I just want something stupid. I'll get over what I want and then focus on what Enda needs but I..I need some time." I say quietly, scratching at my arm.

"How much time?" Ujik asks.

"A few hours at the least." I admit, holding my head in my hands.

"Well you'll have a few hours as we get to the Earth City so let's get going." Suzuki commands, grumpy. I nod, Daegi and Ujik grab my arms and lift me up to my feet. My feet feeling like bricks.

"Let's go."

________________________

That is not fully the explanation to his outburst in Favera. Just partly.

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