《》Ashes To Ashes
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Here's a challenge. I am, of course, your favorite funnyperson (aren't I???) around these parts.
Well, I recently received a reader request to do a FUNERAL scenario.
Funerals aren't funny, y'all! My first instinct was to say "Ashes to ashes, funk to funky, any attempt at this will be junky..." but then, hey. You guys know nobody is up for a challenge like me.
Once again, I play like a champion...and dressed in all-black like an '80s Bauhaus fan, I begin the procession...
-They are good-hearted boys (even if Killua is a spoiled Zoldyck brat), so they assume grave (ha!) expressions and recite polite condolences to everyone at the gathering
-Privately, they are annoyed they had to take showers and get dressed up in their best clothes
-Try hard to sit still and behave, but even death can't stop them from getting restless and wriggling around when the service runs a bit too long
-(In a whisper) "Want to take a bet on how many dead people I've seen?"
-(Whispers back) "You're an assassin, dipshit. No."
-Has PTSD (understandably)
-Don't make him go; it's cruel
-Sign his name to a lovely floral arrangement and leave it at that
-Leorio is studying to be a doctor, so he's had to take those psych classes where doctors learn how to break horrible news to family members
-Is very comforting and says all the right things
-Privately can't wait to pour himself a stiff one after it's all over
-My lover's got humor, he's a giggle at a funeral, knows everybody's disapproval, should have worshipped him sooner
-Sits there with an impassive expression on his face
-In short: Same old, same old
-He looks good, though. His suit is bespoke and probably cost a normal person's yearly salary
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-"We have a little problem. The stupid groundskeeper cheaped-out on labor and they didn't dig the grave deep enough to make six feet...Illumi? Mind lending a hand?"
-This is Chrollo we are talking about okay?
-His idea of a funeral is fake-conducting a requiem from a skyscraper while his employees annihilate a city's population
-Maybe you should just not mention where you are going to him. Maybe you should just tell him you're going to meet your friends for dinner, or something. If he asks why you are wearing all black, say you're feeling fat.
-To your surprise, he manages to squeeze out a few tears
-"Are you sad?"
-"I feel most sorry for them"
-Chrollo didn't believe you when you said you were going out to dinner, so he dispatched Shalnark to find out the truth about what's going on
-You end up having to fork over a hundred bucks bribe to keep his mouth shut, which is really such a gauche way to end what is a very solemn and holy occasion
-"If you tell him the truth, I'm sending Hisoka after your ass, I swear."
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Emperor of Blue Flower Mountain
**NOT ON HIATUS! Updates are just slow right now!** Once upon a time, there lived two great and mighty spirits on the mountain. One loved humans, the other hated them. When their differences could not be reconciled, they came to blows, and the human loving spirit was chased out.Now there is only one spirit on the mountain. He sits on the peaks, looking down on those below him. Disaster and death is his reputation, and it is well earned. He is the Fairy Emperor, the King, and no one dares disobeys him. But he is empty on the inside.For he is alone.When anger and jealousy take everything, only love can create something new. This is a story of hope, redemption, and second chances.---- Discord for early releases and FREE STUFF: https://discord.gg/Q2tQhQH ---- Book 1: Empress of Blue Flower Mountain - Complete Book 2:Emperor of Blue Flower Mountain - In Progress Book 3:Princes of Blue Flower Mountain - N/A Cover done by me, the Author.
8 495[Conquerors Of The Delve] [Abandoned]
28-year-old Lucian was a smart and hard-worker, having put aside enough money since joining a family friend's company at the age of 16. But with the company now bankrupt, and no way of earning a scholarship, he finds himself not employed, educated or in training. While browsing the web, one thing consistently popped up, overshadowing all else. An Augmented VReality game, a dungeon delver residing inside an Open World MMORPG. A game that granted the players a hand in the game's geography, architecture and community, allowing them to build their own world. The economy was also interchangeable with real currency. Items could be freely sold and bought, with both in-game money and real-life e-cash. But what truly caught his attention were the game rules. For they allowed him to be what he wanted to be and do what he wanted to do without any real-life repercussions. Kill, Rape and Pillage. The only people who could stop you were players who possessed the ability to do so.
8 53The Brothers of Haltria
Twin brothers were born in the Kingdom of Haltria. One was destined to rule. The other was destined to serve. Plots, intrigue, and long lasting rivalry drove them to odds with one another. Now a new power has awakened... or is it an old power born anew? Note: This novel is scheduled for weekly release through March of next year. At that time the schedule may be accelerated.
8 194Harry Potter X Reader {1}
AMETHYST BOOK 1 - Words~ 76,310Harry Potter X ReaderThe Philosopher's Stone In which the reader, Y/N Evangeline Amethyst, the last remaining descendant of the pure-blood Amethyst family line, meets the Boy Who Lived.This book will revolve around the growing friendship between you and the Golden Trio, as I feel quite uncomfortable declaring any kind of relationship otherwise between two children of so young. Their romantic relationship will blossom further later in the series, most likely the third book rather than first. I still suggest reading the first and second though for lore purposes and character and relationship progression.Enjoy 🌻Sinclair
8 222The Overlord
Drake was the number one expert in the whole world. Though personality-wise he was full of... well, let's say issues, his skills and knowledge in the field of killing and healing both was unparalleled and his body count was second only to tobacco! He terrified the entire underworld! But he had grown complacent and would not imagine many of the top ranked people of underworld would try to kill him. That was what happened. But he had succeeded in killing them and he was ascending to a new power, when he suddenly died in a very mysterious and bizarre way...He is now Aeron Victor who had """"almost"""" died in an accident... with a shocking power he never knew he had! So he decided to try better this time. He decided he would live a life without regrets... But he knows he has to get strong first, because only those who are strong can lead a life without any regret or pain. So he rises above all as the overlord!__________________________________________________________________Warning: Mature content. Mainly gore, though there will be a bit swearing. As for sexual content there might be some too.This is my first story, so please bear with me. English is not my mother language, so if you see anything just point it out please. I welcome all criticism, as it shows that you cared enough about my story to write it!(Which kinda makes me teary eyed...*sniff*)
8 143(On Hiatus - We'll Be Back) I will give up my heart for you - Pennywise x Reader
That day changed her life forever.That day a little 8 years old girl lost her father, her worst nightmare.That day she found a friend.That day she found love.(Warning: This won't be a real/normal love story)
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