《Waxing Gibbous》Revelations (A)
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I stayed home for the rest of the week, getting over my cold. My concussion was practically nonexistent the next day but of course I was sick, a cold.
Again.
So, for the week I was stuck in my room, well I could go anywhere in the house. But the fatigue kept me isolated in my room. Which was fine. My mom hovered, like usual but at least she allowed me to work on my art project.
Evehad picked up what was at school, so I didn't have to start over. In the end Ithink it turned out the best, and it should have seeing as I had much longer towork on it than the others. Or I spent more time on it, logically I could havespent the same amount of time on the others, but I didn't want to take themhome.
In other news, my car was totaled. Completely... How? I didn't know, it didn't seem plausible, I mean from what I remember it was barely hit or general physics tells me it was barely hit. I mean most of the momentum went into Bella's truck.
But somehow the front end was pushed against one of the stone walls and was destroyed, airbags deployed and everything. The back end was just as bad... you would have thought I was in a serious car accident.
Ididn't have to worry about it though. The insurance covered the car and helpedget a new one. This time my mom took charge in picking it out, rather than myaunt. It was still sporty but at it was more suitable for snow and bad weather.I guess the incident made my mom worry that I could have been in Tyler'sposition.
And that was the most interesting thing to happen all month. Besides me getting sick again-this time it was just sinuses but that's fine.
The first week of my return, I was the center of attention. Everyone was concerned about my health. Tyler was apologizing like crazy, I tried telling him I was okay and not to worry that I was fine. But he brought up my car and everything.
Eventually I dodged his apologies and he turned to Bella.
By far the worst thing that month, though, was being cornered by Bella. Usually, we were around each other when our parents were around or other people so she didn't say anything. But when she finally got me alone it was awful. She was insistent that something was wrong with the Cullens. That there was something wrong with Edward.
"You can't say that there isn't something going on" she said
"what do you want me to say Bella?" I sighed.
"that you agree, something not normal is going on with all of them" I thought about all the Cullens. The tribe didn't want anything to do with them because of the legend of the Cold Ones, but I wouldn't tell Bella about that. And not just because I was sworn not to, if I told her this she would only get more insistent.
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"My mom and aunt have worked with Carlisle for two years now, there's nothing wrong except the fact that he has a huge work drive, but my mom doesn't complain, it means she can be home more often. And the kids, well the only thing about them is they don't interact with everyone else. Weird? Sure, but they were all adopted so maybe they don't do well with others."
"Edward was standing by his car... he couldn't have gotten to us in that small amount of time. it's impossible"
"Bella, I don't know what to say. Logically and realistically it's impossible. Maybe he had an adrenaline rush, women have been known to pick up whole cars to protect their babies. Maybe he's really fast and the adrenaline made him faster. Or maybe your adrenaline made him seem farther away."
"you know that's not true" Bella insisted.
Did I know that, or did I want to believe it? Part of me said forget it, I was alive, but another part told me Bella was right, something weird happened. But saying it, admitting that maybe Billy was right, it was crazy. I couldn't do that. So, like my budding sexuality I buried it.
"Bella, all I really, truly know. 100%. Was without Edwards intervention, impossible or not. We would be dead. Right now, I don't care how he did it, only that he did."
And that was it.
Bella never brought up the subject with me again. But I could tell she hadn't let it go, I could see her get further and further into her mind the longer she went without talking to Edward. I don't understand why she was obsessed with him; it was like he was a drug, and she was in withdrawal.
Things hit another blockade when Bella and Edward got into an argument, in Biology. Which in itself was strange and out of place because the Cullen's never drew unnecessary attention to themselves. They answered questions when they were asked but I don't recall Edward ever raising his hand to add to the conversation or ask a question.
It was uncharacteristic of Edward or the Cullens in general.
I shook my head; Bella was probably pestering him like she did me. Why couldn't she be grateful to be alive? Sometimes it's better to leave things alone, leave things to wonder...
Once I got to Art, I silently made my way to my seat and pulled out everything I needed. Alice remained at her desk with her sisters and none of them looked my way.
I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. I ignored them like they ignored me. Almost how things went before Bella showed up. Part of me said this was for the best, it fought with the part of me that said this was terrible. I was making progress, no matter how small, and now I'm back at square one.
I shook those thoughts away as I walked to my car. I shouldn't be thinking like this, it wasn't generally accepted, and I didn't want to be ostracized for that. I already had to deal with being the only Quileute not going to school on the reservation, add homosexual to the mix and it was a recipe for disaster.
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The town had a hard time accepting the Cullen's relationships, and they were what was considered normal. I drove home slowly, muttering to myself the whole way.
Dating right now, here in Forks... not a good idea, god forbid Jess find out and then Lauren and everyone. Then they start acting weird and then everyone in gym starts acting weird and then I'm expelled or something like that.
Before I knew it, I was at home, an empty house. It was rare that Eve wasn't home when I got here, she often worked less than my mom but I'm guessing she had some surgeries or paperwork.
So, i decided to start dinner. Chicken enchiladas. It was a long process, but it would allow my mind to rest, for my internal monologue to shut down.
While I was simmering the onions and chilies, the phone rang. I turned the stove down a little and ran to the phone.
It was Jess and she was jubilant.
She had asked Mike to the Girls choice dance, and he accepted her offer. I celebrated with her briefly, glad that Mike finally pulled his head out of wherever it was and gave Jess a chance. She had been afraid that Bella would ask him, but I was able to convince her to go for it anyway. In the end Mike had thought about asking Bella but she turned him down.
Maybe I could get into Jess's good books so she wouldn't gossip if she caught something.
After I hung up, I concentrated on dinner. Or tried to, Jess had tried to get me to go to the dance as well. I was never one for dances, I helped set up for it, but I'd rather not go. Maybe that was because I never accepted anyone's proposals. I didn't want to go alone, and I wouldn't go with a guy. I mean go on a date with them then they want a relationship and somehow I get coerced into something I don't want to do.
"hey Al, you okay" Eve asked. I turned to look at her, I wasn't even aware she was there. I looked behind me to see my mom looking at the both of us.
"um, yeah. Just focused." Eve nodded and walked away from me leaving my mom and I alone. My mom approached and stood next to me.
"are you feeling okay?" she asked. I nodded but couldn't open my mouth.
"you know you can talk to me about anything right?" her fingers ran through my hair, briefly touching the scar that was starting to form on my forehead.
"yeah, I'm just thinking"
"anything I can help with?"
"I don't... I don't know."
My mom nodded and put everything in the oven before guiding me to her office off to the side of the living room. After a few minutes of silence my mom spoke.
"what's on your mind? I know it's not nothing, you've been off for a few weeks now"
I sighed... I guess it was time to tell her, I knew she was worried about why I wasn't dating. "Mom, what if I don't... what if I never get married or have kids?"
Her brows furrowed "is that what this is about? You're worried you won't get married?"
I shook my head "what if the person I want to be with isn't... you know?" I tried to say it without saying it. My mom is one of the most important person in my life, if she couldn't accept it then I don't know what I would do. Logically I knew my mom wouldn't hate me for being gay, but that fear still exists. I could see a look of understanding cross my mother's face.
A gentle smile appeared "Alexandra, I will accept whoever you choose to love. No matter who it is" she stood up and gently squeezed my shoulder "don't worry too much about that okay, when the right person comes along, you'll know"
I hugged my mom tightly and she stood there holding me a sense of calm and relief filled me the longer I stood with her. "For the record I knew before you started high school"
My eyes widened and I pulled back to look at her. She only chuckled guiding me into the kitchen, where Eve had just gotten the table set. Dinner was a happy affair.
There was something else nagging at me though... Edward.
No not in a I want to date him or be the only non-Cullen he interacts with, but I was suspicious. All this revelations really made me think about my life.
I should have died.
There is no way around it, I should have been crushed between Tyler's van and Bella's hulk of a truck. But I wasn't and that was because of Edward.
Funny things happen when you take time to think about things. You start remembering things you never did before, like the fact that Bella was right. I was so focused on being thankful I was alive, and I won't lie and I'm thankful, but how?
How did Edward move four car lengths in a matter of seconds, a matter of seconds that I was only able to push Bella slightly. Maybe there was a real reason that the Cullen's weren't allowed on the reservation, a tangible reason and not a legend.
A/N: i know the car is not an early 2000's model but it is extremely difficult to find those models online - they're always newer so i said screw it. So in this universe humans have more advanced looking cars.
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