Before I even open my eyes, I know Gerard is cuddling next to me. The room is pitch black, there are no windows and all the lights are off. There aren't even little night lights in the room or bathroom. I know there's one in the commons area but our door is closed. The only light I can see is the dim, red numbers coming from the clock. It's 5:19. My body is on autopilot for waking up.

Even though I'm exhausted, I know I can't fall back asleep, at least, not right away. I'm burning up, boiling in my own skin. Underneath 3 heavy blankets was enough to keep me warm but Gerard has slid over to my side of the bed, wrapped his arms around my torso, and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Gee?" I whisper barely audible. He doesn't stir at all. Okay, he's definitely out of it. I try nudging him to get him to move but he doesn't. I'm sweating and cooking under my own body heat but his on top of that is actually killing me. 

Slowly, I shift to the side, kicking my leg out from the covers. The cold air in the room is relieving. Gerard adjusts himself in his sleep, loosening his grip on me. "Gerard?" I whisper close to his face. He remains asleep. Well, he was the one that started it. I slide myself closer to him, curling back up against his chest. He latches onto me and holds me close. I don't need to sleep. If I'm lying here, this is all I need. 

Maybe I fall back asleep, I don't know. But an hour passes much quicker than it seems. Brendon and Cody start whispering from the other side of the room. I have no idea what but they're awake. Gerard isn't, he hasn't moved from being entangled with me. Unless...he is awake and doesn't want to move? No, he hasn't shifted at all, I doubt he's awake. 

The clock says 6:30 when either Cody or Brendon turns on the lamp over their nightstand. It's quiet for a moment when they start whispering again. "Dude..."

"That's...are they...?"

"No, they probably just fell asleep and that happened." I mean, they're not wrong... The two of them shuffle around the room, putting on their day clothes, turning off the light and then heading out of the room. I don't mind. I can lay here with Gerard a little more. 

Around 6:45, someone comes back in the room and sits on our bed. "Frank?" It's Jenna. If I respond, she'll know that I'm consciously doing this. It's better to just play dead. "Gee?" She nudges him. He inhales sharply, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. His other one is under me. "Gerard?"

"Huh? What tim-" He falters, sighing. "Frankie?" He nudges me, trying to pull his arm free. "Frankie?"

I pretend to wake up. "Hmm?" I mumble. 

Gerard takes his arm back, sitting up. "What time is it?"

Jenna leans over and glances at the clock. "It's almost 7 ish. Want some breakfast?"

Gerard sighs, stretching out. "Um, maybe a little. Frankie, you up?"

"I don't know," I mumble. "We eating?"

"I guess." 

"Fine, let's go," I say. Jenna gets off the bed and heads out of the room while we change, putting on street clothes. I put on the same jeans from yesterday and a long sleeve shirt under a t-shirt then I put on another jacket. Gerard has his jeans and a hoodie. The two of us head out and grab out shoes. 

None of our friends are here. Well, excluding Sarah. She's talking to her friends. They're giggling about something. She and the other girl are anyways. The guy doesn't look as amused as them, which seems to be why they're laughing. 

"Okay, enough of that, you two," he says. 

"Oh, come on, Aiden!" one of the girls says. Aiden just sighs and walks out. "Hey," he says to Gerard and I, "you two getting food?"

"Um, yeah," I say awkwardly. 

"Great! I should go with."

A girl with a British accent calls for him to come back. "What was that all about?" Gerard asks him. 

Aiden chuckles under his breath. "Are you guys friends with girls?" 

"Yeah," Gerard and I both say.

"Do they ever...say weird things just to annoy you?"

"Oh yeah," Gerard says immediately. 

"Yeah, it's one of those cases," he says. 

The two of us walk to the dining hall. Not a lot of people are there. Mostly adults actually. Figures, what kid is going to be willing up before 10:00...besides us. In fact, nobody else. Amelia, Rachel, Brendon, and Cody are down there eating. The rest of us get breakfast and sit down, joining them.

Most of the others have experience skiing. Brendon and I seem to be the only ones going out there to learn. At least in our hall. After breakfast, we head back to our hall, get dressed for the cold, and then walk out to the rental place. It's about an hour long process of getting the equipment and having Gerard and Amelia help me figure out how to lock the shoes on the ski while Jenna helps Brendon. 

While standing out in a clearing of snow, Gerard, Jenna, and Amelia teach Brendon and me how to move. While trying to pivot, I topple over, falling on myself in the snow. 

"Careful," Gerard says, refraining from laughing at me. "Don't fall over."

I scoff at him while slipping in the snow. "Like I was trying to." 

He extends a hand and I take it. Pulling me back up on my feet does no good as I can't find balance. "You got it?" I start teetering so he holds onto me. "Spread your legs," he says. Well, Gerard. I'm sure you could have worded that much better a dozen different ways. I finally hold myself up and Gerard slowly let's go of me. Behind me, I hear a thud and the girls both gasping while giggling. Brendon probably fell over. 

"I didn't think it would be this hard," I mumble. 

"It's hard at first but you get used to it with practice," Gerard says. "Okay, use the poles to pull yourself forward." Digging it into the snow, I try dragging myself but I don't budge. "Pull, Frankie."

"I can't," I say. "I'm stuck." 

"Like this," he says, demonstrating. He pulls himself forward, leaning a bit. I try repeating him, moving forward slightly but I slip sideways and topple over. 

"See, you moved," Gerard says, already helping me back up. 

"Yeah, I fell."

"You're making progress."

After maybe half an hour, Brendon starts getting the hang of it, getting back in the habit. He's still struggling but at least he can move around. I can barely stand without tipping over and need to lean on Gerard. 

"Yeah, I'm starting to get this," Brendon says. However, right as he says it, he fumbles, failing around to catch his balance. 

"Yeah, you definitely got this," Amelia says. 

Brendon glares at her. "Hey, give me a break," he says. 

"Do you guys want to hang out around here?" Gerard asks. "We can meet back later for lunch or something."

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask. 

Gerard glances at me. "Just going down the mountains, different slopes. But I don't think we can do the same ones," He says, shifting his stance. 

"Oh, right," I say, nodding along. I mean, he could stay with me at the ones I can do. Just because I can't keep up with him doesn't mean we can't be at the same ones. Granted, he didn't pay money to teach me how to stand up. "Yeah, we can meet later."

"Awesome, see you guys in a little bit," Jenna says. She, Amelia, and Gerard go off toward the more experienced hills. 

"Ready?" Brendon asks me, adjusting his hat. 

"Absolutely not, let's go!" I say.

There isn't even a chair lift for the hill we go to, there's just an inclined motorized ramp than you stand on. Going down shouldn't be a problem. It's not even a hill. It's not even a mound. It's a slight incline. However, I pick up more speed than I'm used to. Going 2 mph is very dangerous. Before I'm even halfway, my feet are going faster than the rest of me and I fall back. My butt flat in the snow, I get to watch Brendon convulse and fumble down the hill all while screaming. Miraculously, he doesn't fall. 

Going down the same slope half a dozen times, I'm still struggling to stay standing. Brendon is getting the hang of it and he's not as unstable as before. "Do you want to go on the next one or this one still?" he asks. I can sense he's getting kind of bored but I know he doesn't want to ditch me. I feel bad that I can't get good at this. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard. 

"Yeah, we can go to the next one," I tell him.

Brendon lightens up. "Are you sure? We don-"

"Yeah, it'll be fine. I'm not falling as much as I should be on this one anymore." He looks at me warily. "We can go, come on." I take a step forward and fall over again. My legs are dying, everything being weighted down on my feet. It's more of a work out than I anticipated.

"Easy there," Brendon says. 

The second hill is also just an incline with a motorized ramp but it is longer and slightly steeper. Getting to the top, I have a slight feeling of dread. Either way, I'm going to fall. But I'm a little concerned. It's fine. Brendon and I go down. For half a second I think I'm okay until I pick up a lot more speed. Last time, I was leaning back and my feet went to fast. This time, I lean forward, too forward. Falling down, I end up tumbling face first down through the snow, my feet pulling me downwards. My face is cold. My legs are sore. Everything hurts. I'm tired. And I swear to god, if I fall one more time, I'm really going to lose it. I can't even get my feet out of these things so I can't even walk. 

Somehow, I make it to the bottom. "You want to go back to the other one?" Brendon asks with a soft smile. 

"Uh, yeah, I think I will," I say. "You don't have to stay with me if you want to be here."

"I don't want to ditch you," Brendon says.

"You're not ditching me. We're just going to part ways for now. Like we focus on ourselves and we'll meet up later, cool?" Brendon smiles then nods. He heads back up the ramp and I just try leaving. Where do I even want to do? I don't really want to keep skiing. Maybe I can watch the other expert skiers, and try learning that way. Even if I don't learn anything, it'd still be fun to watch. Honestly, I just wanna-

"LOOK OUT!" This time, it's not even my fault when I fall over. Before I can turn my head, a great force collides into my side and knock me over. 

"Holy shit," I groan out, my face buried in the snow again. My eyes start to water as pain erupts, starting at my groin and spreading outward. How I get hit there?

The girl coughs deeply, the wind probably knocked out of her. The two of us don't move, lying rather immobilize for a solid minute. "Oh my god, oh god, I'm so sorry," the girl says. She's on top of me, shifting around while trying to get off. She knees me again and I cough out. 

"No-" I groan, weakly putting my hands up, "stop..." She realizes and her cheeks turn bright red, probably not because of the cold. 

"I'm really sorry," she says, turning away to cough again. I close my eyes, my tears clustering on my cheeks. She places her hand on my shoulder and I take a moment to breathe. 

"Just hold on," I say, trying to wait for it to stop hurting. "It's okay."

"I swear, I didn't see you," the girl says. "I thought it was fine and then-"

"It's okay," I say, realizing I walked through the end of a slope, "that was my fault." She must have been going really fast considering she went down a rather steep hill. The girl sits back, moving her dark braids behind her. Her eyes are a nice green color. Kind of like Gerard's. Her snowsuit is all grey with a few high lights of pink accenting the clothing. I sit up, just enough to rest back on my elbows. "Sorry about that," I say. 

"Oh, it's okay. I should have been more careful."

I glance at the hill again. "You went down that?"

"Yeah," she says. "I go skiing a lot so I've had my practice."

I nod along. She adjusts her legs from underneath her. "Um, what's your name?" I ask. 

"Ophelia Harrington," she says. "Well, you don't need to call me by my last name, so Ophelia. Actually, no, it's just Lia."

"Lia?" I ask. 

"Yeah, just Lia."

"Is your name Ophelia as in-"

"Yes, like the one from Hamlet. No, I'm not going to drown myself." I laugh at her comment. "Well, anyways, what's yours?"

"I'm Frank Iero," I say. 

"Cool cool," she says. "Are you okay now, Frank?"

"Yeah, just knocked into me hard. But that was my fault."

"It's okay. You want to go down the next one together?" she asks, gesturing toward the hills behind us. 

I stare at them and my stomach drops at the mere idea of doing down those. "New skier here," I say.

"Oh, I got you," she says. "How's it coming for you?"

"Not much is coming along," I sigh. 

"You want me to help you?" she offers. She has a warm smile and kindness in her eyes. Why not?

I make no progress but Lia says others. She's really nice and funny. The morning completely flies by with her. We aren't really skiing as much as we are goofing around though. It doesn't matter, I'm having fun. 

Brendon comes over to me with Sarah and Aiden. "Oh, hey guys, made a friend?" Lia says. 

"This is Brendon," Sarah says. "We've hung out before, I don't know if you've met him. And I see you met Frank?"

Lia glances at me. "Oh, you guys know each other, too?"

"Yeah, he's one of my roommates," I say. 

"What have you been up to?" Aiden asks. 

"Well, I haven't been falling as much, so progress has been made," I say. "You know what time it is?" 

"It's 12:45, do you guys want to go get lunch?" Sarah asks. 

"Hey, there is a great idea," Aiden says, turning around and heading toward the cabins. 

"Very patient of you!" Lia calls out behind him.

"I was hungry an hour ago. And they have tacos," Aiden shouts back. The group of us take off our equipment and start unzipping our jackets before we even get inside. The cold air feels nice after sweating in all the winter gear. Ripping off gloves and hats, yanking off scarfs, we step in together.

"Where are you guys at?" Lia asks. 

"They're in the same hall as us," Aiden says. 

"Oh, nice," she says. "We can drop off our stuff then go get something to eat." 

Right as Aiden reaches for the handle, the door swings open. Amelia and Cody come stumbling out. "Hey, guys," Brendon says. 

Cody and Amelia look at us and smile. "Oh, hey, guys!" Amelia says. Gerard and some other girl come following behind them. 

"Hey, you guys going to get lunch?" Brendon asks. 

"Oh, we already ate," Gerard says. I glance at him but he doesn't notice. "Sorry, got caught up and stuff."

"Oh, that's okay," Brendon says casually. He doesn't seem bothered. Am I the only one bothered by the fact they already at without us? "Where are you heading now?"

"We're going sledding actually," the other girl says. She looks Asian but has a British accent. She's wearing ripped skinny jeans with black, fishnet stockings underneath with a maroon shirt and a leather jacket. "They have these big, blow-up donuts you sit in and you go really fast."

"Dude, my sister and I would put those on our bodies and then run at each other," Cody says. "She would win since she's older than me but it was great because I would go flying back."

"I've seen old videos of you and Cambia doing that," Gerard says laughing. 

"Hey, where's Jenna?" Brendon asks. "She with you?"

"I haven't seen here in a few hours," Gerard says. "We all went off doing our own thing."

"But you were all together," I point out.

Gerard glances at me. "Yeah, but like Amelia and I went to the biggest thing and then I was with Cody but then," He pauses, glancing at the other girl, "I don't know, we just starting going our separate ways."

"I never caught your name," Brendon says, doing awkward finger guns at the other girl. 

"Oh, I'm Moira," she says with a smile. "And you are?"

"I'm Brendon," he says, then he points to me, "and that's Frank." She waves at me and I just smile at her. 

"Well, it was nice to meet you guys," she says. "Catch you later." The four of them go off and we drop off our gear in the commons area. 

"She seems nice," Brendon says. 

"Yeah," I reply, disinterested. 

We go to lunch and eat. They do have good foods so it makes me feel better. Part of me is upset they didn't have lunch with us. They said they were going to. Gerard said we could meet up for lunch. Then he goes out and eats with someone else instead of waiting for me and Brendon. And the other girl, Moira, what's up with that? I mean, I'm sure she's really nice and great and all. But...there's a reason I'm suspicious, even if I don't know what that reason is. 

We don't really go back outside, being exhausted from the morning and too lazy to put everything back on. And we're all very sore from either falling or going down a lot of slopes. We end up going back to the commons and lounging on the couches until dinner. 

"I'm feeling pain in muscles I didn't even know I had," Brendon says. 

"Same," Aiden says, lying upside down on the couch. His hair dangles back and his face is slightly red as all the blood is going down.

Lia glances at him, looking rather confused. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"Sitting," he replies.

"Maybe rotate 180 degrees," I say. 

Aiden chuckles then flips himself back around, curling his legs underneath him. "Why do you do the things you do?" Lia asks him. 

Aiden shrugs. "The gay agenda is not knowing how to sit in chairs correctly." Lia bursts out laughing. "Oh, tell me I'm wrong!" he says, gesturing to her. Lia's kneeling on the couch except one of her legs is crossed over the other, all while she's still kneeling. 

"I feel personally attacked," Brendon mutters, his legs sprawled over the armrest. Granted, I'm no better with one of my legs on the floor and the other behind the couch cushion.

"Okay, but like not everyone is gay," Sarah says. I can't help but laugh noticing she's the only one sitting normally on the couch. Suddenly, everyone else in the room glances at her. "Wait, what?" She glances us and then her roommates. "Well, I know you're pansexual," she says to Lia, "and you're bi."

"Hell yeah, brother," Brendon says, leaning over to high five Aiden. Sarah looks at him surprised, but not in a bad way. She glances at me and I kind of shrug.

"I like men," I blurt out.

The others start laughing with me and Sarah nods her head. "Okay, I was mistaken. Turns out I'm the minority."

"Oh, how the turn tables," Aiden mutters.