Excuse any mistakes!

"I need you to stay with me, ma'am." I felt someone grabbing my head. He encouraged me to stay awake but I could feel myself slipping away each second.

"Where the fuck is the ambulance?" I could faintly hear the panic in his voice. This loud ringing filled my ears. It wouldn't go away at all.

"OH GOD, LUNA! What happened?"

"I found her like this after I heard someone screaming while I was taking out the trash."

"I knew I shouldn't have let her come out by herself." I could feel them applying pressure to my wounds.

"There's the paramedics." The boy thanked God. My body was now being picked up. Someone gripped my hand telling me everything will be alright. But I knew it wasn't. This was all my fault. I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I knew this was my karma and I'm finally getting what I deserved. I thought I was this untouchable bitch. Look at me now, hanging on by a tiny thread.

"We can save her! Speed this truck up." One of the EMTs yelled. They pulled off my clothing trying to see where the blood was coming from. I blacked out and when I came back conscious we were at the hospital, I'm assuming.

For some reason, my vision cleared up just a bit for me to see my cousin in the distance. Her face went into complete horror as she recognized me. I'm guessing they called her into work. She ran over trying to get to me.

"THAT'S MY COUSIN! LET ME GO!" She tried wiggling out someone's arms.

"Ma'am you can not operate on family. I'll let you take the rest of the night off but leave this to me. I'll do my best to save her."

"Come on people, her heart rate is dropping by the second. Let's get her to SURGERY NOW!"

"LUNA, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" That was the last thing I heard before I felt myself slip away.

"You really scared me that night Luna. I didn't know what was going to happen. The blood wouldn't stop gushing out. You looked lifeless and there was nothing I could do about it. Why would you scare me like that?" Lola broke down. I closed my eyes not wanting to see her face.

It's been weeks since that night. I have been through it. My vision finally came back and I was excited. I felt Jordyn pain so much deeper now. I felt like I was losing my mind.

My wounds were healing up good. My face wasn't swollen anymore but I did have scarring from when my head was bashed into the window. None of my wounds hurt more than the one to the head. I constantly had these painful headaches that wouldn't go away. I couldn't do anything about that pain at all. The doctor told me I had to live with this pain for the rest of my life.

I've been trying to look at the brighter side of things but it's like damn. But then again I did this to myself, so I'll have to push through and keep living life. I was very appreciative of this second chance.

While I was out, I spent time with my dad. It sounds crazy but he was telling me it wasn't my time. Being in his arms again felt amazing, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay with him but he wouldn't allow it. I was sad but accepted the fact. I'll never forget that.

I sniffed. "Come here."

"No, I don't want to hurt you."

"Lola, come here." I held out my arms as she walked into them. I hugged her the best I could reminding her how much I loved her.

"I love you too Luna. Don't ever do that again or I'll hurt you myself." She chuckled.

"Then I'll come haunt your ass. Don't play with me." I joked. She then placed kisses all over my face. I frowned pulling back. "Umm, I don't know where them dick sucking lips been."

"And she's back." She threw her hands up walking back over to her seat.

"I'm ready to go home. This place is boring as hell."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit but I can take care of myself."

"It's truly a miracle to see you talking after the tragedy that happened to you. A walking testimony."

"I can't thank nobody but that man upstairs. He is real."

"I know it."

"Knock knock." Lilo walked in with a smile on her face.

"Hi, how was your doctor's appointment?"

"Good, Dr. Santos said she missed you and your jokes." She laughed.

"She wishes you the best and a fast recovery."

"Is Adeya good?" I was happy she was really having a girl. I wasn't having any kids anytime soon, so I'll just treat her baby like my own.

"She's getting bigger. I already know she's going to be chunky when she comes out. I'm scared because I don't want my vagina to rip."

"When Alana was born she made me have five stitches. It was the worst pain of my life."

Lilo looked like she wanted to cry. "Well, that makes me feel better."

"Sorry." She mumbled holding in a laugh that threatened to come out.

I shook my head. "You ain't shit."

We talked for a couple more minutes before another knock was heard at the door. Joy walked in with a smile on her face.

"Hi, Luna. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. I appreciate you coming all the way down here."

"You know for you I will." She sat her bag at the edge of the bed.

"Right." My lips formed into a tight smile as I looked at Lola and Lilo. They shrugged their shoulders watching everything go down.

"They fucked your hair up." She ran her fingers through it. "It's okay because I'm going to hook you up. Your face is healing nicely."

Her eyes flicked down at me. She was still checking me out when I looked a mess. I mean truly a hot terrible mess at that.

"You're still gorgeous, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"When you get out here, are you finally going to go out with me?"

"Oop." Lola covered her mouth looking around.

I sighed. "Joy, I'm in a relationship with someone."

"Who?" She looked hurt but there was nothing I could possibly do about it.

"Him." I pointed to Zae slumped over on the couch. He hasn't been sleeping the well since I've been here and I had to force him to get a good sleep or at least try. The couches they had in this hospital were fancy, so I knew he'll be good.

"He's cute." She shrugged. "But he's not me."

I could hear slurping sounds making me look over, seeing Lilo drinking her imaginary tea. I rolled my eyes looking back at Joy.

"He is fine as fuck and he's mine. Joy, stop playing with me. You didn't come here for all of that. You had one job and if you don't want to do it then I can find someone else."

"Fine, I'm sorry." She huffed.

"Are you ready to start on my hair?" I questioned making her nod.

It was now the time for her to cut all of my hair off. I wasn't about to be walking around here like one of those emo kids with half of my hair shaven off. I didn't want to but I know it's for the best. I couldn't let this stop me. I couldn't let my hair define me.

If things worked out in the end, it'll grow back healthier and stronger. I'm still going to be that bitch either way it goes. I felt the large amounts of hair falling off my head.

"What's going on in here?" My uncle walked in with Alana by his side.

"Luna is pulling a Brittany Spears." Lola was a damn comedian today.

"I'm going to slap you once she's done."

She laughed holding her hands up. "My bad."

"Hi, Titi." She smiled holding her fingers in her mouth.

"Hi princess."

"I brought you this." She handed me a piece of paper. I looked down seeing it was a drawing of me and her as stick figures.

"Thank you, baby." I smiled causing her too.

"Who is that?" Joy whispered in my ear. I looked up following her eyes and they landed on Gabe.

"My uncle." I smirked. "Why?"

"He is fine as hell. He can be my daddy any day of the week and I don't even like men." She fanned herself.

I laughed. "You are a trip."

"We are done." She handed me a hand mirror and began cleaning up the hair.

"It's cute. I'll just have to grow into it. Thank you."

"You're still beautiful babygirl." Gabe complimented me.

I smiled. "Thank you."

"He's been sleeping for the longest." Lola pointed to Zae. It's been about two hours and he was still sleeping. I wasn't complaining one bit.

"This is his first time sleeping in a while. He wouldn't sleep knowing I was in pain. I had to beg him to sleep."

"Are you in any pain now?"

"I took my pills about an hour ago, so I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"I mean I feel a headache coming on but I'm fine Gabe."

"Why didn't you say anything? You know the doctor told us to tell him when you feel one coming or have one."

I waved him off. "I'm good."

He sighed walking out the room. I already knew he was going to inform the doctor. Joy quickly told me bye and hurried out.

"She's going to get your daddy. Be prepared for your new stepmother". It was my turn to be petty.

"Trick you." She checked her watch. "I have to go. My shift is about to start in an hour and I have to drop her off with her father."

"Okay, I love you guys."

"We love you too." They kissed me leaving out the room.

"Are you really okay?" Lilo asked out of nowhere once the room was cleared.

"Yes, why are you asking me this?"

"Luna, you almost died. Not once, twice, but three freaking times. You know it's okay to cry or show emotion. You don't always have to have this wall up. Show something."

"I've cried enough for the day. I'm good."

"Okay, I'm not going to pressure you into anything you don't want to admit. If you wanna talk about any of this, you know I'm here. Remember I was right there holding your hand after you got shot."

"I thank you every day for that. I j-speaking of that where is the other person that was with you?"

"I don't know. After the paramedics came he looked shaken up and left."

I hummed but didn't say anything. I wanted to thank him personally for what he did.

"You didn't see who did this to you?"

"No, my head was smashed into the window blurring my vision."

"You didn't recognize anyone's voice? Do you have any idea who would try and kill you?"

"Possibly a lot of people." I accidentally said out loud making her frown.

"What the fuck does that mean?" We both looked over, seeing Zae staring directly at me. I didn't even know he was awake or I would've shut the whole conversation down.

"Hey, babe. Do you like my hair?"

He stood up stretching then walked over to me. "You look beautiful as always."

I thanked him as he kissed my forehead. He walked to the bathroom closing the door. I could hear water running so he was probably freshening up. I looked over at Lilo confused.

"He not gone snap?"

"Maybe he forgot." I shrugged.

"Nah, I didn't forget. Tell me what's up with what you said? A lot of people wanna kill you? Why?"

I sighed. "I've told you before I did bad things."

"What kind of bad things? You can't keep leaving me in the dark."

"I've killed people." I said lowly causing them to look confused and asked me to repeat myself. Once I did, Lilo's mouth fell to the ground but Zae was laughing. I'm talking about slapping the knee and tears coming out of his eyes laughing.

"Luna Grace, stop playing."

"You think this is a game and it's not. This is real life and what I did comes with real problems. Do you think these bullet holes in my body are a fucking game? No! They came from retaliation. I've killed the people who were there and involved in my dad's murder. The police didn't do anything, my uncle barely got anything done, so I took matters into my own hands."

"How many people?"

"What?"

"How many people did you kill, Luna?"

"5." I know what your thinking. I thought it was only 3 but I went back and got a couple of others just for knowing and didn't say anything. It's fucked up and I can't fix what goes on in my head.

"I don't know what to say." Lilo mumbled.

"You don't have to say anything. If you guys don't want to be around me anymore I completely understand. I wouldn't want to be around myself either."

The door opened and walked in Jordyn and his parents. She held a big smile on her face. This was her first time coming to see me since the accident. I tried matching my face with hers but the piercing look Zae was giving me I couldn't. His eyes left holes in my body. I looked back over at him and he quickly put on his shoes and jacket. He walked out the door slamming it shut causing me to jump.

My heart broke watching him leave because I didn't expect him to. He told me he wouldn't leave no matter what and now look. Tears clouded my eye vision.

"Hi, Luna!"

"H-hey Jordyn." My voice cracked. I took a deep breath wiping my face but the tears still fell.

"Are you okay?" She asked grabbing my hand. His parents gave me a sympathetic look.

"We'll go check on him for you." They both walked out. Lilo wrapped her arms around me the best way her stomach would allow her too.

"He doesn't want me anymore." I cried. This is why I didn't want to tell him. This is why I've always had this wall up. When you tell them the real you, they leave when feelings are already too deep.

"It's going to be okay. He's going to come back, he just needed some fresh air."

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